What are you doing about it?

Stop right now & ask yourself what your flaws are. What are things you know you need to work on? What are things you've spoken of working on in the name of having healthier & happier relationships with others? What are the things others have brought to your attention that you may need to change, repair or tone down?

Ok good.

Now what are you doing about it? Did the work stop at you just acknowledging what's wrong with you, as opposed to you actually taking it to the next step & trying to fix/repair/change things?

You know what's wrong with you already. What are you doing to fix it? Why are you sitting on your resolution? What is your action plan? If you're not trying to fix it, why not? And are you REALLY prepared for the consequences with yourself & others by not getting your shit together?

There's 3 types of people:
1. Don't fix their flaws/baggage b/c they refuse to acknowledge that they have a problem in the 1st place.
2. Acknowledge their flaws/baggage but don't go further than the acknowledgement phase, for whatever reason.
3. Acknowledge AND fix their flaws/baggage.

I think a lot of people can at least get to step 2, but what's scary is that there a lot of people who know they have flaws AND acknowledge what they have to lose by not changing or toning down things, but yet still find themselves 10 years later still hearing the same complaints from others about things they should've BEEN dealt with.

There's no manual to dating or even life. It's easy to point out the WHAT, but many people need help with the HOW?! If you've changed, how did you do it? How long did it really take you to nip that flaw/bad habit in the bud? How many people did you lose or how many things went sour in your life before you finally sucked it up & changed? What did it take?

I will change it when I feel like it
Right now me and my flaws is chillen

Flaws- everything

Solution- not exist.

I dunno what I'd do without your thought provoking threads.

I am guilty of the classic sag "foot in mouth" syndrom. I hate it because it often gets me odd looks and even pissed off people when I had never meant to offend anyone. It never used to bother me until I moved and started to notice the way people reacted more. Even my scorpio gets upset at some of the things I say because I can be careless (which is funny because he is on the cusp of scorp/sag).

Anywho, I am working to change this because of several reasons. For one, I'd like to because of the culture I live in atm. But the biggest reason is so I don't hurt or offend anymore loved ones. So I've been more conscious of what I say for the past few months.

lol

I have to literally stop myself in the moment when I'm being stubborn. Before, I'd realize it several hours later after an argument lol but that wouldn't count b/c my friends & husband needed me to get my shit together NOW lol. Now, I catch myself in the moment that I feel myself shutting down & have an intense tug of war with myself lol I force myself to stay checked in. Hardest yet coolest thing ever.

Acknowledging and checking myself in the moment is my solution to my stubborness. I don't think it'll ever fully go away 100% but I've gotten so much better. Instead of just copping out & saying, "Welp, sorry to hear that you don't like my stubborness lol" I realized 1 day like wait a minute, Krys, you sound silly! Krys if it's within your means to do/say things that make your friendships & relationships better, why wouldn't you?

It was almost like I was fighting more to keep the flaw than I was to get rid of it lol

My thinking used to be so cliche..."People that love you WILL and SHOULD accept all of your flaws." Wrong. That mentality's concept is excuses not to change & entitlement in disguise. People don't owe me anything. People don't HAVE to accept anything. It is a privilege to get the attention & best of someone else. And if certain things about me are deal breaking or too dam hard to deal with, they may not have the right to leave me, but they'll damn sure have the right to consider it...and once someone starts to consider things to be over, it's all downhill from there anyways.

But hey, sometimes there is no quick fix. OR sometimes the fix would've been so simply had you just quit being a baby, got off your high horse, quit feeling sorry for yourself & did your inner work. It's easy to ignore your own bullshit, but the price to pay for ignoring & putting off your own bullshit can realllllllly reallyyyy cost you in the long run.