Order of Importance

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by krysrenee7 on Monday, February 16, 2015 and has 24 replies.

Profile picture of krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
18 Years5,000+ Posts

Yes, all are important.

-SEX
-LOVE
-TIME
-TRUST

But what is the order that truly matters to you as a person individually?

Not looking for any politically correct or "love quotes say I should care more about this" answers.

Have you always had this order? Or did the order used to be different, for which you're just now realizing was wrong & caused you a lot of heartache or bad decisions with others & priority issues? Who or what made you finally change your priorities or your order?

This will be interesting, especially considering you can technically have all of these things w/o an official relationship/marriage...especially considering some of you have actually proven to yourself & others that you can tolerate & desperately need only 1 or 2 of these even if the others are lacking. Especially considering some people aren't really honest about what they truly need 1st or the most in order to feel confident taking a sexual, emotional, physical or lifelong chance on someone

Profile picture of dirtymelodies
@dirtymelodies
11 Years

Posted by Damnata
I don't see exactly how time factors in..

Anyway..give me trust, respect and kindness and I can build from there.

Different love languages? I need someone's time in order to feel wanted, if I'm a priority then it tells me they want to be with me, but I'm also super free with it as I don't want ALL of someone's time, that's why it's last on my list.

Profile picture of truecap
@truecap
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by krysrenee7
Yes, all are important.

-SEX
-LOVE
-TIME
-TRUST

But what is the order that truly matters to you as a person individually?

I think they're all important equally. The order is interchangeable depending on your needs for that day and situation.

Profile picture of truecap
@truecap
14 Years10,000+ Posts

A lot of you said you didn't understand how time fits in. I get that time is important. You can have all three, but if someone doesn't make time for you, that's pretty telling how they feel about you. Plus, you have to spend time together to develop trust and love.

Profile picture of Montgomery
@Montgomery
13 Years10,000+ Posts

You aren't asking about these things within the bounds of

an existing relationship... correct?

So is this the actual question?

What do you...

Posted by krysrenee7
... truly need 1st or the most in order to feel confident taking a sexual, emotional, physical or lifelong chance on someone

Profile picture of krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
18 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by Damnata
I don't see exactly how time factors in..

Anyway..give me trust, respect and kindness and I can build from there.

A lot of people accredit 'time' to either the demise or blossoming of things involving love.

"TIME heals all wounds."

"Give it enough TIME before really giving someone your all."

"It takes TIME to really know someone."

"In due TIME."

"TIME will tell."

"Give it some TIME."

"We've spent so much TIME together," or "We've been together for so long" in which TIME is almost used as a justification to stay with someone, even if the relationship is toxic.

"We do/don't spend enough TIME together."

Or if considering the concept of 'love languages,' quality TIME is 1 love language that a lot of people have or prefer to receive.

Profile picture of krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
18 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by truecap
A lot of you said you didn't understand how time fits in. I get that time is important. You can have all three, but if someone doesn't make time for you, that's pretty telling how they feel about you. Plus, you have to spend time together to develop trust and love.

This is true. I'm glad you get the concept of what I meant by 'time.'

You're right...you can love a person, trust them & have amazing sex with them but if they're not spending enough time with you, that can justifiably make you question whether or not you mean as much to them as they mean to you. And that's just 1 example of the kind of feelings, conclusions or doubts that lack of time can bring out of someone.

Some people feel the most secure when there's enough time invested...quality time invested...they need time to open up no matter how much they like/love you....you need to see that you've been with someone for a long enough TIME before you're ready to take things to the next level....all just examples of what I mean by the concept of 'time.'

Hell I can't tell you how many women/men have been discouraged by friends and family to get married or have a baby or take things to the next level (whatever that level is) b/c they haven't spent enough TIME together or around each other, despite the fact that the other 3 factors may be present. Some people aint buying it until TIME is a big factor in the situation. And that's fair!!

I think TIME is a very underrated & almost an unacknowledged important concept when it comes to matters of the heart.

Profile picture of Damnata
@Damnata
16 Years25,000+ PostsVirgo

oh, ok.

quality time is my main thing.

but i cannot relate to time at all in terms of how courtship progresses or in general.

as a mutable, i have a warped relationship with time to begin with.

Profile picture of Montgomery
@Montgomery
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Montgomery
You aren't asking about these things within the bounds of

an existing relationship... correct?

So is this the actual question?

What do you...

Posted by krysrenee7
... truly need 1st or the most in order to feel confident taking a sexual, emotional, physical or lifelong chance on someone

click to expand

So... nix that last part?

lol

It's another "love language" thread.

Profile picture of krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
18 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by Montgomery
You aren't asking about these things within the bounds of

an existing relationship... correct?

So is this the actual question?

What do you...

Posted by krysrenee7
... truly need 1st or the most in order to feel confident taking a sexual, emotional, physical or lifelong chance on someone

So... nix that last part?

lol
It's another "love language" thread.

click to expand

Sorry to bust your bubble bud but love languages are very much a part of love, especially in the RELATIONSHIPS forum. How you missed the relevance of the concept is beyond me :/ Just saying.