I Fucked Up

I feel like such an asshole and I wouldn't be surprised if someone chewed my ass out in here... but I just have to post this.

So I've been dating this Sag guy and we never exclusive or official. In the beginning I never wanted to be official and I know he did, but when I started developing feelings for him the tides kind of turned and even though he said he wanted an exclusive relationship with me he never pursued it (even though I blatantly told him I wanted one too) he always avoided the subject... so I figured he obviously didn't want one anymore. But he still called, text, and we still spent a lot of time together. I didn't bother pushing the issue because I never initially trusted him and I thought might as well have fun while it last. I guess we were fwb—? Never was sure about our relationship stats.

This weekend though, I slept with another guy and he found out. Honest to God it was a total mistake and by no means am I making an excuse for sleeping with this other guy. I fucked up. I was drunk and I was completely aware of everything. The weird thing was (this guy I slept with though is a friend) I'm not attracted or interested in him, nor was I horny or trying to hurt the Sag guy in anyway. I really don't know what came over me. My mind just went blank and I went in autopilot and God I don't know what was wrong with me. I'm disgusted and ashamed of myself--also extremely embarrassed because I'm not that type of girl. There have been guys before who have made moves when I was inebriated but I've always said no.

Well the Sag guy found out and he didn't call or text like he normally did. I texted him and he did answer and we talked on the phone and I know I hurt him.

So my questions is what do I do?... we've made plans to meet and talk and I plan to be straight up and honest but I just...

How would a Sag be feeling at this moment and what would be going through his mind?

I guess to be more general... as a Sag if you were in this same position, what would you be thinking and what would you do?

Thanks DP...I really am curious though not also what he thinks and what his action would be, but your action as a individual. I know you can't predict or speak for another person.

What would you do if you were in his situation? I know what you do and what he would do would be different. But this is also a general question in what a Sag would do.

Because I know if the situation was reversed I would be pissed and probably wouldn't have answered his calls or text.

But I'm an Aries... Are Sag's more forgiving?

I agreeee. Don't be so hard on yourself. Shit happens. We've all been there at one point or another.
(Mine still haunts me to this day, lol.)

Definitely tell him what you just told us. He'll appreciate your honesty, if nothing else, respect you.

If I was in the same position I would probably be a little upset initially, but after thinking about it for awhile I'd realize I don't really have a right to be since we were never exclusive.
We're pretty understanding & give second chances all the time. Of course, you have to understand he's taken a little blow to his ego, and is probably doubting you're into him like he thought you were. Might be feeling a little rejected. 😢
You're just going to have to reassure him that it was a mistake, it's not a threat because it's not going to happen again, and you are really into him.

I also think now would be the perfect opportunity to make your intentions clear and tell him you would much rather be exclusive with him than sitting in Pergo wondering what you two "are" and if you should even feel ashamed for hooking up with someone else?


🙂

Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom

Yeah shit happens xtinn..🙂 I can kind of relate to your situation, a few years ago I was dating a girl (although it wasnt anything serious) and one night I had a few drinks (vodka, and other shit I cant remember) and I met this girl, we had good chemistry (she was a cap, go figure 😛) a few hours later she was giving me head (sorry for the graphic language) but thats as far as I allowed things to happen, thats all we did, cause I felt guilty and stopped the whole thing before making it worse. I felt like shit afterwards cause Im not THAT kind of person (it was the closest thing to a one-night-stand Ive ever experienced)

i seem to remember a one night stand story about you and a sagittarius..........

i guess just try not to sound like youre making excuses. yeah, so maybe you had a case of the drunks and decided to get yours 😉 but like everybody else has said, you guys weren't exclusive. there appears to have been a miscommunication between you and this sag because he wanted a relationship and eventually you did too but nothing progressed so IMO now's as good a time as any to go out on a limb

I think I'LL just kill myself after reading this thats how sad it made me.

Xtinaaaa how's it going with your boy? Don't leave us hanging 😛

Lol sorry Briana don't mean to leave you out in the dark... Just nothings been happening. He lives two hours away but comes to bartend at where I use to work, that's how we met. He usually works during the weekends and that's when we see each other, but because of pride this week we were both really busy with work. The weird thing is after the incident he didn't text or call for a couple of days and now he's texting and calling like nothing's wrong... The other day he even said he wanted to take me to a fancy restaurant and dress up like we use to when we first started dating... Maybe he feels like he's losing me? Not sure...

I do know that he knows for a fact what happened because his friend is dating my sister and it happened in her apartment... And I know they heard 😢 .

So I don't know when we'll see each other next, but I'll keep you guys posted.

Thank you to those who replied with sweet words of encouragement, I really appreciate it 🙂.

OK, I have Sagittarius in Mercury, Venus, Uranus and Neptune. So hopefully, my answer is also considered..

If it was me (the sag boy), I would feel hurt of course.. but.. I won't show it since I don't have the right to be anyway.

What I'll do though is, I'll try to keep the relationship as it is.. as if nothing happened.. I'll make you believe you're forgiven, but I'll be more careful in disclosing any true feelings to you...I'll play Mr. Casanova and make you fall in love with me even more... and then, when opportunity arise...I'll do the same thing you did to me.. man, I'll even give the same exact explanation you gave me.. word per word..every "sigh", every tear(if there's one).. every gesture you did.. I'll do it too...


if you can accept me after that.. I'll accept what you did and move on (forgive and forget)... otherwise, bye. =)


(I don't know if this is a sag thing.. but that's what I'll definitely do.. me, myself and i)

haha maybe he doesnt know? at this point i probably wouldnt bring up that whole messy situation unless he did. in any case, if he doesn't care, neither should you...water under the bridge hopefully 🙂

That's good that nothing blew up. 🙂
Like Ewe said, he may not even know. Either that or he has already decided he has no right to be mad and would rather not bring it up - he may be focusing on getting you "back" now so it doesn't happen again.

I Still think it's a good time to let him know how you really feel and make it exclusive if that's what you want.

I'm not a Sag, and not with a Sag, but I have lots of Sag friends, including my BFF of over 20 years. But that's just friendship not romance, so I have nothing constructive to offer alongside the sage advice already given.

I just wanted to say that I personally would never chew someone out for making a mistake, even as HUGE as 'cheating' (for lack of a better word here, cuz you aren't exclusive and therefore he has no real 'right' to flip out.. but jealousy is not logical and doesn't CARE about those things lol)... I'd only chew someone out in this situation if they were getting all high and mighty, like they did something totally cool, and fuck how someone they were dating might feel about it... like they're coming across all scandalous and proud for something they should NOT feel proud of. People fuck up... regret, remorse, realizing and acknowledging that you made a MISTAKE, and not attempting to justify it.. yeah, that makes me all warm-fuzzy. I can accept and understand almost any lapse in judgment.. but don't treat me like a fool or think you acting all self-righteous is going to go over any better than shit in a punch bowl. Oh, and if I let it go and don't bring it up, I've wrapped my head around it and have decided it might not be fabulous, but it's not a deal-breaker... so now YOU let it go and don't bring it up, cuz we don't need to keep rehashing it, and multiple apologies and wanting to talk about it ad nauseum will just tick me off. I HEARD your apology, I KNOW you're sorry. I'm fine now, let it go!

Yeah, this is how me and my Sag BFF are with each other - don't beat a dead horse! 🙂

Posted by scorpio740
OK, I have Sagittarius in Mercury, Venus, Uranus and Neptune. So hopefully, my answer is also considered..

If it was me (the sag boy), I would feel hurt of course.. but.. I won't show it since I don't have the right to be anyway.

What I'll do though is, I'll try to keep the relationship as it is.. as if nothing happened.. I'll make you believe you're forgiven, but I'll be more careful in disclosing any true feelings to you...I'll play Mr. Casanova and make you fall in love with me even more... and then, when opportunity arise...I'll do the same thing you did to me.. man, I'll even give the same exact explanation you gave me.. word per word..every "sigh", every tear(if there's one).. every gesture you did.. I'll do it too...


if you can accept me after that.. I'll accept what you did and move on (forgive and forget)... otherwise, bye. =)


(I don't know if this is a sag thing.. but that's what I'll definitely do.. me, myself and i)

Jeez.. that sounds more Scorp than Sag! o.o

So I finally saw him the other day... I know, finally 😛.

We went and saw a movie together, Inception, awesome movie btw. We saw it at drive-in.

So I decided to follow ewe's advice and not say anything. Surprisingly, he never mention or hinted at it. So now it makes me question of whether he knows or not... He probably does? Not 100% sure... His friend (my sister's bf) does look/ treat me as his little sister and can be protective sometimes...

And no I didn't talk about our relationship... I'm on the fence with this guy I like him yet I'm not sure why I'm so hesistant about a relationship...

Maybe this won't ever be a true committed relationship, maybe it will... Only time will tell.

I guess I'm letting the chips fall where they will with this one.

🙂 yay

Thanks Briana and sagiluv... I will keep you guys updated 🙂

ok so i asked gemini what he would do in this situation (i used him, me, my little sister and one of his friends as an example) and his initial first response was "Yes" that he would tell his friend. then he quickly added that it mattered which of his friends my sister was hooking up with and how serious they were. i said that it wasn't serious/casually dating and he asked if my sister and his friend had been hooking up too (i wasn't sure but i said yes that they were). but then he said that if his friend was also hooking up with other girls then he definitely wouldn't say anything. i asked him if he would still say something if i asked him not to and he said it wouldn't matter and he would still say something if his friend was taking the relationship seriously and not hooking up with other chicks. then he said "im not talking about this anymore. it depends on many factors". basically, which one of his friends was involved pretty much made all the difference.


how close of friends if you sisters boyfriend with this guy?

Oh I see... The Sag is a good friend... But the guy I slept with (Aries guy) is his better friend....

So... I'm guessing he doesn't know? /:

ohhhh hummmmmmmmm....ok your guess is as good as mine lol