Self-sabotage anyone?

He told me weeks ago that his lack of trust in women makes him push them away when they become close. We became close. Not sexually intimate, but emotionally last night.

Today, the cat and mouse game began. Doesn't return my call that he was expecting. Sends text even though we just agreed texting causes many miscommunication and he said we shouldnt text. So later he texts. I asked "Why are you texting, I called you earlier". No response. I reply I gotta go, bye. He replies 30 mins later "Whatever!!!".

An hour later he re-instates his dating profile, after we mutually removed ours 10 days ago.

This is a 180 degree turn around from 24 hours ago. I have said nothing.

Preemptive strike to kill the budding romance? Seeking a reaction from me? Insecure Venus in Scorpio?

My scorp moon is currently on xanax and remains in quiet, stealh mode.

Thoughts?

Nexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxt him.

either he is your type of crazy or he isnt. my advice, give it time.

i dont even see what the fuck is the big deal. ive told you time and time b4, saggis suck on the phone. so what he'd rather text you than call. is that really the extent of your problems? stop trying to control his mode of communication. venus in scorp is a slow reveal.

he re-instated his profile because you keep tripping over phone calls rather than texting. YOU just said it urself, texting causes miscommunication. case in point, he doesnt know why u flipped out. saggis take time to break out of our ME routine and start being considerate of others. shit dont happen overnight. plus he has a an aries moon. sun trine moon makes him ultra "ME"

i have said nothing girl, please. to a venus in scorp, youve said a mouthful.

imo, venus in scorp is a bit like venus in cap in men. slow reveal, receptive sign. u must react first with these guys.

we lunar scorps and sometimes our scorponic neighbors do like to cause drama every once in awhile.

So here's an update:

I wrote him a gentle but firm email. Said I didn't understand what was going on with him, if it was a reaction to our intimate conversation last night or what, regardless his snarkyness and re-posting the profile was hurtful and unacceptable to me. I said I'd had a lifetime of extreme relationships and wasn't willing to repeat with this one. I had asked him yesterday to try to communicate better with me, esp no more texts. I ended it by saying that I liked him and if this was his self-sabotage attempt because we became too close, then I am sorry we'd have to part ways.

We have an upcoming date next Weds, so I said if he is able and willing to talk about this I am willing, but if he is not then we will cancel the date and I wish him happiness.

I've learned my value and there is no one who will guard it better than I. I think he went into VinS emo overdrive and got his man panties all knotted up around his nut sack with fear.

He replied right away and said this: "Very profound. I will respond tomorrow. I am with my daughter now".

So...we shall see. For the record, I went thru my own little emo moment last week and he gave me an even firmer butt slap in telling me he wasnt willing to put up with my hyper-sensitivity. When he did that, my walls came down and I contacted him and took responsibility. We started getting much closer after that. I think, rather I hope, thats whats going on. He is flooded with scorpio intensity feelings and is having a 'tard attack.

I think you just killed it with the "gentle but firm email"

Sag guys don't like to be dictated to. Jest Sayin'

tough shit. If it's over it's cus he killed it by being a dick.

and DMV...He was the one who said no more texts, phone only.

Hey MsManson 🙂

Posted by Wynter
I think you just killed it with the "gentle but firm email"

Sag guys don't like to be dictated to. Jest Sayin'

no man OR woman likes to be dictated to and while i personally agree that it wasn't such a big deal and that bgp may have perhaps just ignored the behaviour instead of showing it mattered, i think she was just being herself. she IS a sensitive soul and WAS hurt and confused by his behaviour and so therefore, she sent the email cos that's her way.

after all, there's little point trying to hide your natural reactions to things at the start of a relationship and not being true to who you are....it doesn't lay a good foundation stone for a healthy relationship at all. if he's not comfortable with bgp calling him out on stuff at this stage, it's better to know now than later down the line when both parties are more emotionally invested.

personally, i would never get involved with a distance relationship cos i need to feel secure in it which doesn't mean i want to live in my man's pocket but i also don't want to be left to my own devices for too long so that my mind starts wandering, my insecurities wake up and i start making assumptions that have no foundation. i know what i'm like, lol!!

i can't fathom such intensity that has developed more out of each others company than in it. having said that, i do tend to be rather spock-like in the emotions department. emotions have no logic at all and so i don't indulge them.

Posted by BigGirlPanties
tough shit. If it's over it's cus he killed it by being a dick.

and DMV...He was the one who said no more texts, phone only.

girl please. just two days ago you were all IN. just re-lax. you obviously like him alot or you wouldnt be going bat shit insane.

i agree with Wynter. you want to subtly control the relationship, he wants to subtly control the relationship. but sag men dont wear skirts.

sorry 4 days ago. just relax dude. your emotions are all over the place. up and down, down and up. i think u should take some time off from him and think about if this is what you want. 100 miles apart? that would drive me nuts tbh. can u handle the complexity of your emotions?

his reply today:

"you are correct, we are best off parting ways. whereas I enjoy our playful bantering we obviously have this love/hate wall dividing us already. I wish you all the happiness possible".

it was his fault don't blame yourself.

He's a cop- they get more pussy then they can handle. Anytime, anywhere. He doesn't have to work very hard in a relationship. He liked the fun and bantering. He did not like when you put rules in the game. If you can lighten up he may come back. But again, you will be doing most of the work.

And now the texting and calls begin....


Just 12 hrs after the bye bye text, he sends a text saying my "dating profile is ridden with errors..just sayin". I reply that I havent had any complaints. He's says "I reckon not!"...then I let him have the big emo gun...cus by now I got nothing to lose and a wall to break down.

"You miss me, huh?"

He replies: "Yeah, I guess I do".

And then he called me. And I did not answer. He texts "You're not answering my call?" (boy is a friggin genius). I say Im still cussing you out in my head. Hmmm he didn;t like that. So I said..."but not in my heart". Then he tries to strong arm me with "Goodnight until you stop being pithy and answer my call". Oh lordy, the boy's trying to play hard ball, like he is depriving me of his wonderfulness!

Me: "Goodnight. Im going to eat a bagle"

Him: Please?

And then I said "Call"

Who won this round, kids? This is what happens when you know your value and not afraid to walk away.

More later...I gotta a cold bagel to eat 😛

ha...all true, doll

dude walk away....that is if your moon will let you. BUT you like it 🙂

have you ever gone back to read your past posts regarding your other relationships, especially on the scorp wall? notice any similarities? this is your M.O. girlie.

im waiting for the next blog where youre on Cloud 9 again, followed by the next one where life sucks. you enjoy the game with all of its ups and downs. obsession anyone? girl, you drag us into your game by posting all these blogs. which is your right but dayum. entertainment for us, i suppose. silly us, we all talk to you like this is your first time at the rodeo and it aint.

why not try something different because your obviously losing. instead of the passive aggressiveness, why not take the lead and be forthcoming with your feelings. arent you tired of playing the games? dont you want something real? be honest. tell that man about your insecurities. tell him what you want. be real. he wants that. he is tired of the fluff. if you say your peace without all the game playing and he still reacts like this. end it.

i only tell you this because when i read your posts, i think to myself..damn are fire sun/water moon like this? Am i myself like this in relationships, short answer YES. sounds f'd up, but i read your posts to tell myself what NOT to do.its been very helpful thus far. who wants to go through rela after rela with the same results? not I said the Fly.

i ended my last because the love hate thing was rearing its ugly little head and thats not what i want. why even drag urself through this.

are you paying attention? or are you plotting your next move to get back into power?

how did u know that he reactivated his profile anyways? what were you doing waltzing around the dating site?

i have to say that i'm with dmv on this. games...manipulations...profiles up and down...100 miles of distance between you....and after a matter of weeks! that would totally exhaust me tbh but i guess it's the nature of internet dating? i dunno cos that stuff is a bit alien to me so what do i know anyway.

being a scorp, my response to all shenanigans from a man is to disappear into silence. it's not for their benefit or to appear as though i'm playing games...it's for my benefit cos i refuse to get drawn into that kind of behaviour cos i'm just too old to fuck around like a teenager, lol.

horses for courses i guess.

Posted by sugaries
hooo boy, you guys are on same games...and you both like it.

Why, when he called this time, did you ignore him? You know you want to talk to him...that's why you made this thread in the first place. I think you both want something but one of you is going to have to soften up a little.

Maybe I'm in the minority but I don't think these hiccups in the beginning have to define the future of your relationship with him. Instead of demanding he treat you a certain way NOW, can you give him a chance to change his bad habits? You asked him the day before to try and communicate better and then the next day you snapped at him ("Why are you texting me?) for not doing what you asked. And THEN you basically threatened him by saying "If you can't do this, we'll have to part ways" I'm not sure how you expected him to respond.

You can teach someone how to treat you without demands and threats.

Also, how did you know he reinstated his dating profile if you both were supposed to deactivate? You are on full alert because you're expecting him to hurt you...and that's why you're acting so impulsively.

I stand by my first post, you guys aren't done with each other. You both like the cat and mouse games.

i agree. although im not quite sure she even likes him anymore..rather she enjoys the game playing more. in love with the game, the partner makes no nevermind.

Posted by sugaries

Also, how did you know he reinstated his dating profile if you both were supposed to deactivate? You are on full alert because you're expecting him to hurt you...and that's why you're acting so impulsively.

things that make you go hmmmm. taking a stab in the dark, she went to go reinstate hers but he beat her to the punch lol.

Posted by DMV

Posted by sugaries

Also, how did you know he reinstated his dating profile if you both were supposed to deactivate? You are on full alert because you're expecting him to hurt you...and that's why you're acting so impulsively.

things that make you go hmmmm. taking a stab in the dark, she went to go reinstate hers but he beat her to the punch lol.

click to expand

lol! Scorp Moon revenge thwarted!

Posted by aquansidenout

Posted by BigGirlPanties
his reply today:

"you are correct, we are best off parting ways. whereas I enjoy our playful bantering we obviously have this love/hate wall dividing us already. I wish you all the happiness possible".

The best advice I can give about scorpio placement people is "ignore ignore ignore". They hate to be ignored. Take this as a lesson in the kind of man you don't want in the future. And please don't if you're still interested him be the first to reopen the lines of communication. He will have to work to prove his worth to you. Although honestly you're better off without him. And cops no disrespect to those in my field of work but they're the biggest whores on the planet. Women love men in uniform and they take FULL advantage of that.

click to expand

Yep. I have scorp in venus, drives me NUTS to be ignored, but it definitely keeps me interested.

I agree with the statement about the men in uniform. Cops and firemen are the big, brave, manly men and get that stuff just thrown at them! Only difference between the two is the cops are arrogant and the firemen are cocky! lol!

Posted by Ligeia


SMDH!

Lmao!! Freakin hilarious!

Honestly though, this has nothing to do with the fact that he's a Sag. He's just a fearful man wrapped in his ego.

truer words have never been spoken

Posted by DMV
truer words have never been spoken

...as only a Sag can say them 🙂