So what is Up with this Sag man—??

So...I've been with this guy for about 6 months now...I think things have been going well...but about 4 times within this period I've heard from different people who have randomly met people that he works with that everyone still thinks that he is dating his ex-girlfriend.

Now, they both work at the same place, so I can understand that they have a work relationship, but he also hangs out with her quiiiite a bit outside of work (eg. for his birthday last week he went out with her...and some other people, and got wasted...but didn't tell me anything).

I've approached him about her before when this has come up, and he basically told me that he didn't want to 'put me in an awkward position' by having us both in the same place at the same time because: 1. she is 'jealous' of me, and 2. because she still believes that they have a chance of getting back together.

HE told ME this. So this latest occurence of a friend of mine talking to someone he works with was just last week...so I don't really know how to approach this. I'm a Sag as well...he's an early December Sag with a moon in Libra...Basically I'm at a loss as to how to deal with him.

That's about it!

Hmm, this sounds just like what happened to me when I dated my sag man. Be careful, careful. I dated mine for 5 months and it was a extremely hard relationship. Very tiring. His ex was crazy over him as well. Still so in love with him, jealous of me and thinking they were going to get back together. And being a sag girl that I am and you are, I'm most likely guessing you don't want to deal with the drama and sounds like you have just shoved it off to the side and not got on his back too much about it. I did the same. And people told me the same thing when they saw eachother in the hall together. Come up to me and say "Did he get back with that girl? I always see them together, he's always walking to her to class and what not" How embarrssing right? Feeling like I have to watch his back all the time, yeah no, I did not what to deal with this shit, yet I put up with it for quite sometime. Anyway, turned out he cheated on me with her all the time, which I suspected I guess. However, I was only about 16 when I dated him I was very young and not having sex at the time, which him and his ex did. I'm sure your older and it's a way different, but it's a bit similar what happened to me, so I guess I mean you never know with a sag. But I know nothing about your relationship so yeah lol. Just sayin🙂

What do you mean deal with this? The reason why I say it in this way is not to offend you but to point out that you already have your answers, he's still venturing out with his ex, she wouldn't believe she had a chance with him if he wasn't hanging out with her, at this point there is nothing you can say or do outside of leaving him and leaving him is your BEST option, basically if you ask him to STOP seeing her he is't going to stop and the very act of being asked to stop will cause him to choose her over you OR he will tell you what you want to hear and still go out with her, the best thing you can do for yourself is to either date him and keep your options open by dating other men so the relationship won't feel imbalanced or you can break up.

If you continue to discuss and confront him about his ex then you have made her way more important than YOU, you are allowing your fears over his behavior with her to destroy your relationship, and on top of that your confrontations about her make her seem and feel like the better option, you come off looking as though you have low self esteem and relationshp needy, I don't believe you are but his behavior definitely can put you in that low position. Basically you don't have his heart and you won't have it as long as he's opting to remain friends, date, have sex with his ex and oh they are sleeping together, believe it...basically he already knows how you feel, if you continue to discuss it then you start to sound like a nag and once dubbed the nag it all goes downhill...

Let your actions SPEAK for you, stop making him a priority, stop answering his calls and only talk to him when you feel like it and stop talking to him about things you heard about him and his ex, if you focus on him and her then you make him want to continue playing his game, if you step out of the way, don't discuss it, don't talk about it, don't even make it a priority and not give the issue energy to survive then it will end soon enough but you have to stay out of it, let it play out, as long as your interfering you will be the catalyst to hold them together...get out of the way, let her have him and watch him crawl back to you, he has to remember why she is an ex, once the enigma wears off it will be over.

"let her have him and watch him crawl back to you,"

That sounds like a game to me, sort of like the same thing he is doing to her ... why not just let her have him, and this woman walks away with some pride, rather than watching someone grovel?

Is the aim to be a better game player, or to have a mature relationship?

1. she is 'jealous' of me, and 2. because she still believes that they have a chance of getting back together.



All people who play others for attention tell each of their people to whom they are seeking attention from that the other is jealous .... because this keeps you hooked. If you believe he is such a hot commodity in which women are after him, then it leads you to believe that he's really, really, really special .... he has to be right? If other woman want him.

That's ^^^ why they tell you about jealous women, and that this jealous woman WANTS him, oh wants him so bad ... this makes you jump through hoops to fight to want to keep a Keeper. I'd be willing to wager that he tells this woman the same thing about you.

I say screw him, and let him deal with himself ... if you deal with him, then he's winning his game .. because his game is for attention.

P please... they all come back, if that's game then it is what it is, I don't advocate game playing but that doesn't mean the world stops turning and people stop playing games, once women know the basics of dating, relationships and game playing then it's pretty predictable when it comes to certain gray areas, I have men that call me after years and years, they always come back to the scene of the crime *shrugs* I'm not a man so I don't have a direct answer to why that is and I did say her best option is to leave.

In absolute agreement ^^^^^^

Sags are really screwing with exs. I remember how upfront mine was about it too. I think he's cheating. Just slip away into the night and not look back. He will crawl back, but don't look back. This way you win. And yes, it's about winning with things like this, because they are games, trust me it's the only to let go of something for good. Knowing you won.

jrusso, you stayed with the fish? How's that goin?

Nice.

"but then she was really horny one night, and that made me think: What's the rush to break up? " LOL spoken like a true sag. We'll at least it's something to have fun with. Is she really attached to you? Wondering cause I have a lot of fishy friends and they are really clingy in their relationships with men. Glad it's goin good.

" I felt so close to that aries, we knew more soupy stuff about each other than anyone else for a while there." I bet. I know this is a really good match for us. I made an aries friend over the summer and we just clicked like within seconds lol. And you than you guys feel like you could take on the world together ha. I need to find a male one dammit!

That's good man. I like the fishys too😉



"Sag/Aries = lots of fun. I think it might be rough for a long term thing though ... or possibly self destructive." Haha, the circle hits the square. Our friendship consisted of stealing, ditching, gold digging, partying, dealing. But hell, what a time.

I'm glad I cut that sag off while I did... So they are MEGATON players.

This is going to sound so shitty, but I'm being honest. I've broken up with two different boyfriends for an ex. But it was the same ex both times - the one I'm still with. I just never got over him, even after dating a new guy. And we always broke up in the first place because we had such an intense relationship and it was hard to handle when we younger.
Anyways, it would start out really innocent, like meeting him for lunch, going to the mall, hanging out as "friends." But that would always change because there were still alot of feelings in the mix. (I was honest with the boyfriends about seeing him - but I would pretend it was totally innocent and wanted nothing from him.)

Just be careful