With Sag Girls...

Im not entirely sure they can do Friends With Benefits and Sags and Gems are supposedly the best for that. I mean it does depend on how old they are and whats in the ole astro chart.

I'll tell you a quick story which intiated my skepticism. I have an Aries buddy, who's the classic good dude. He
s funny, never cheated, not controlling, respectful, but not a doormat.

But like me, he has been kicked and stomped by the opposite sex in relationships. Girls just treated him like crapalways taking from and never giving. He also got dumped by a girlfriend of over 3 years cause she fell in love with another woman.

And again like moi, has had more than his fair share of taken girls throwing themselves at him. So all these experiences rolled up have turned him into a jaded jerk like me. He's more far-gone than I am which is scary.

Anyway, this sag girl approached him at a bookstore. They talked and hit it off. Went on some dates and things esculated pretty quickly. After the first hookup, she flatly stated only a FWB scenario.

He says "You're awesome! That's all Im looking for too!" So they agreed and hooked up like 5 more times. All of this time he's shown no attachment to this gal. She tested him once by saying shes got a date with another guy and couldnt make it this weekend.

He said "Good for you. Just make sure you practice safe sex, and carry some mace r something to protect yourself in the event of." And then one time out at a bar some guy approached while he was away. He came back with her drink and the guy felt awkward. My friend put him by being real friendly and getting to know him. After talking awhile he said "Sag girl, this guy seems super cool, you should get his number and go out on a date." Then he said, "She's a great wonderful girl who is awesome to hang with."

These two incidents totally floored her. Now it seems his detachment/casual attitude is doing reverse psychology. She is no longer interested in other guys and want to be exclusive with him. Now shes focusing all her energy on getting him to commit. Which is a long shot cause this guy is too hurt on the inside to ever be in a serious relationship again.

My point is if you geuninely are casual about fwb, all of a sudden Sag girls who originally desired it want the opposite and will chase you. I truly think Sag Girls desire relationships, they just dont want any pressure and want to to be the ones to define what it's going to

I either want to be in a relationship or totally alone. Dating is fucking stupid. Half relationships are fucking stupid.


She just wants what she can't have. She is probably just doing the opposite of what he is to make a point. That being she can get her way no matter what or who it is.

I mainly put this post up because someone in another thread mentioned Sag girls are more likely to be into friends with benefits.

Then the same thing occured elsewhere. I disagreed, so this was just an analogy, not a criticism.

Dang Sag89, that scorpio kid still causing you problems?

If its done the right way, casual relationships can work. Just A)make sure the primary attraction is physical. Dont have any commonalities with the other person. Common interests = attachment. This should be about pure sexual lust since it isnt going to be a relationship.

B) Dont see the FWB constantly for hookups. Spread it out to 2 to 3 times a month. The less time spent togethermeans attachment becomes unlikely.

C) Date other people- More options you have, less likely of attaccment. D) Screen hard for people that get attached easily through sex. If you get even a little of that vibe, drop em like a bad habit. Older men arent exactly relationship material, but they are good for FWB. Cause they tend to be more weary and cynical. If you get the feeling an older guy has limited relationship experience, dont bother. Cause he is still in a naive/romantic state of mind in regards to relationships.

Parfait, you still can get STDS being in a relationship. Either the man cheating on you or hes been unknowingly carrying an STD for a long time. Just practice sex. Or for peace of mind, ask the guy you are casually dating to take an STD test.

Its true theres high potential for bad sex being casual. You just have to screen for it and feel out if the dude in question is sexually experienced. Or if hes comfortable with sexualty in general.

Ladies, you both are in your early 20's, go out and have fun. Dont take dating or relationships seriously. Only because you all are going to be different people by the time 30 hits. Most long-term relationships started in the early 20's end as the 30's begin. The 20's is a period of constant change and upheaval. Ive never people that dated someone a long time in the 20's be still together in their 30's. Cause people's wants and desires change.

Part of being in your 20's is figuring out who you are and what you want. On that idea alone, being in a serious relationship at that age is not a good idea. Travel, expand your knowledge of whatever intrigues you. Have adventures and sow your oats along the way. Just practice safe sex, avoid commonalities, and be honest upfront about yo

"Just practice sex"

Im such a idiot, I meant to say practice safe sex. God, these painkillers really are screwing my brain LOL

But this last post is meant to be a positive encouragement, Ladies. Im only passing down advice I couldve used regarding relationships in your 20's. Dont let any girl or boy make you feel bad for just wanting to get laid. As long you're being honest about the intention, who are they to judge?

"Dont see the FWB constantly for hookups. Spread it out to 2 to 3 times a month. The less time spent togethermeans attachment becomes unlikely. " I would call that a "fuck buddy" fwb is someone who you fuck but pretend you don't like anymore than fucking yet you hang out, and are friends. A fuck buddy is someone you really just fuck. THAT does work. I have done with an aries guy who I saw like every 2 or 3 months. Yea we never got attached to eachother and it worked out fine.



Now STD's or not ya we get you can get something no matter what, but it's not just that. NOT EVERYONE WOMAN WANTS SOME STRANGE MANS PENIS INSIDE OF HER!! Period. Lol maybe some but not all. I think woman's sexuality is a bit different than mens in that way. Power to you if you are but not all are. And To be honest women who I have seen act that way are very sexual wounded just like how people who don't ever want to be close/in relationships to someone are or someone who likes relationships to much and is co dependent. Everyone has trama and needs to work their way through it. Than maybe there are some that are just that way and thats all, who knows!


Relationships, I don't take them over seriously. I act like a 20 year old in a relationship. I'm confused, eager to learn, happy sometimes, sad sometimes whatever! I take them as learning lessons for what I want someday. Even if someone is really serious, or gets married really young well if it doesn't work out or it does at least they had the experience, Thats what really matters.


The only way to live wrong in my book is not to learn anything.

Posted by Dynamite Parfait
Who said that we either seek out or desire FWB?

I can't speak for other Sag girls, but I have zero interest in FWB, mostly because I'm health conscious but also because I have no desire to make love with a veritable 'stranger', by terms and definitions. I can't imagine the sex being all that great anyways, so why bother?

Lots of blind fumbling and missed passes, to use a sports analogy. 😉

But to be fair- maybe if I was newly single and heartbroken I MIGHT consider something more casual.

But I still doubt it.

Yep. No interest in it either.
I'm actually pretty greedy with my dudes....back off bitches.

When she said she only wanted a FWB situation that was her way of saying she wasn't ready for anything committed...
However, she started to like him more, and maybe is even feeling a little possessive - like that's my cack bitches, lol - and wants him to be possessive of her too and show a little jealousy/passion.

Her not wanting to commit probably hasn't changed at all, but she wants him to want to make a commitment...even if she's going to shut it down.


Does that make sense?
Probably not.


We're strange creatures.

Sag89,

Good for you about the Aries thing. All those tips I listed was learned from an older friend. This guy has a harem of hot women. I asked him how he pulled it off being casual with all these girls. And he just laid it out for me.

Surprisingly he shares the same kind of heartbreak in relationships like me and the Aries friend. He was married and got divorced when his wife had been screwing 3 different fellas. One of whom was the dude's own brother. Another major relationship ended when his girlfriend killed herself. She struggled with bipolar disorder.

Her suicide almost destroyed him. They had been together 6 years at the time of her death. He was able to get himself back together with therapy and help of his friends. But he hasnt been in a long term relationship in 9 1/2 years.

I think if my two friends and me lived in a different city, wed be open to relationships. But the women in my city are flat out users, liars, and cheaters. If someone lived most of their life here without living anywhere else, it would be very easy to make the generalization all women are like that.

But I've traveled and lived elsewhere enough to know thats not true. Its just this town is toxic.

Getting back on track, I think relationships are good practice. But if I had my 20's to do over, I would have just had one for practice instead of many.

I learned a lot from that particular one. If there were more single older women with no kids in my city I would have focused more on getting in a relationship with them.

But there are a whole lot of gals that really, really, really love d--k. And werent molested, or raped either. But these girls keep it on the DL out of fear of judgement. This is the 21st century , we should have moved past this kind of sexual repression. If single women were able to sleep around without being judged, wed have much less cheating going on from them in relationships. (Not saying men dont cheat, but in my town the ratio is higher with women.)

Anyway, got to get cleaned up and go to physical therapy. Will clear up any potential misunderstandings and explain further later.

I know I told you I didn't mean all of them! I said some probably just do like it.

I am sorry for your aries friend, that sounds rough😢


Also about the town you live in maybe you should move? Or try men. And I don't mean it like that, but I'm trying things with women to see how it is cause you never know! Might as well try. That is what life is about right?

hahaha I've always defined perfect relationships as fwb because I prefer it to be casual and pressure free and spending quality time, but I'm also the jealous type turns out and like to hog my guy lol so I already know never to state it as a fwb and be clear about my intentions. Esspessionally to myself!

I'll admit, I've come across nice guys that I find attractive but really don't want to deal with emotions and what not. But then I find myself attacted. In my mind, the whole having casual sex with someone I trust but not worrying about being tied down is PERFECT! But... deep down I want more. Maybe it just depends on the girl... but I can't have a fwb without falling.

Girls are wired differently from guys, no matter how normal for a girl to be in a FWB relationship eventually she will get attached to the guy. @FB80, if your friend ended up preferring FWB over a serious relationship because of bad relationship experiences I'm sure most girls who prefer FWB are in the same shoes as your friend. Now for those few who can actually be in FWB and can easily get away with it, I want to know what's on their mind.

Posted by brianafay

Posted by Dynamite Parfait
Who said that we either seek out or desire FWB?

I can't speak for other Sag girls, but I have zero interest in FWB, mostly because I'm health conscious but also because I have no desire to make love with a veritable 'stranger', by terms and definitions. I can't imagine the sex being all that great anyways, so why bother?

Lots of blind fumbling and missed passes, to use a sports analogy. 😉

But to be fair- maybe if I was newly single and heartbroken I MIGHT consider something more casual.

But I still doubt it.

Yep. No interest in it either.
I'm actually pretty greedy with my dudes....back off bitches.

When she said she only wanted a FWB situation that was her way of saying she wasn't ready for anything committed...
However, she started to like him more, and maybe is even feeling a little possessive - like that's my cack bitches, lol - and wants him to be possessive of her too and show a little jealousy/passion.

Her not wanting to commit probably hasn't changed at all, but she wants him to want to make a commitment...even if she's going to shut it down.


Does that make sense?
Probably not.


We're strange creatures.

click to expand

I agree 100% with your comment, me too I am like that. Makes perfect sense lol, we are definitely strange and unique creatures :p.

I can actually feel related to the story(I was newly single and heart broken), except that my FWB and I never slept together, only casual make outs and he happens to be an Aries too. I started falling for him, and did the same as her however as soon as I showed more interest in him because I was genuinely interested in a relationship with him he walked off, he started to be more distant with me and he stopped searching for me. So I got tired of it and until now we are just regular friends, no more benefits and it's a shame because I did like him.
So I decided that he will never want something serious so I am just moving on and enjoying myself with others.

The following isnt a criticism, just an observation.

The reason females get attached so easily with FWB is because they are using the same criteria that is used for relationships.

Instead of just going on deep, physical attraction, they look for a mental connection too. A mental connection is what gets you in trouble with FWB. It makes you get attached easily. Whereas if there was none and just basic lust, women wouldnt get attached.

I look for a girl I have zero in common with when it comes to FWB. The only commonality should be I want to storm her "beach" with my troops thousands of times. For example, I aint gonna get attached to no cheerleader or sorority girl. Cause we have different lives and interests. Ive been able to get away with FWB for those reasons

If a male or female gets easily attached through sex alone, they're not mature enough for a relationship. Sex is an important aspect of a relationship, dont get me wrong. But it cant be the only foundation to survive on.

Sag89, I appreciate the thought, but Ill stick to girls. Even though Ive had terrible experiences with women, it would never drive me to have a "missle" in "foreign territory" Im a huge supporter of the gay community, but the life style isnt for me.

And Sag89, you should experiment in relationships with women. It will show you what its like for men to date women. You're going to find that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Sure the sex will probably be a million times better. But women can be just as bad as men are in relationships. Whether its psycho jealousy, clinginess, cheating, or lying, women carry out those same kind of behaviors like men.

Its actually better you see it for yourself then hear it from moi. Or you can just take the safer route and watch the first season of lesbian reality show The Real L Word. More than a few of my female friends have said the show made them have a better appreciation of men.

I actually was going to be moving before my accident happened. Now Im stuck here for the next year. I have met some great women but they never lived here. Im sure you girls notice the following with guys as well. Why do all the cool, relationship material people always without fail live out of state? There's only potential relationship material girl here in my city. I am going to ask her out soon enough when my schedule clears after next week.

I know a lot of Sag women so jus to put my 2cents in, majority of them are not into FWB. If they don't have feelings for you, your not touching them. I've yet 2 c how they've gotton the reputation of being fast and wild. Yes, they do go thru men but that's because they get bored with them. Not because they're hoes. Hell, I'm a libra and I'm the same way.
Now sag men...different story

honestly, I know a lot more pisces, scorpio and cancer women that go for that

Posted by playswitfire83
I know a lot of Sag women so jus to put my 2cents in, majority of them are not into FWB. If they don't have feelings for you, your not touching them. I've yet 2 c how they've gotton the reputation of being fast and wild. Yes, they do go thru men but that's because they get bored with them. Not because they're hoes. Hell, I'm a libra and I'm the same way.
Now sag men...different story

honestly, I know a lot more pisces, scorpio and cancer women that go for that

Lol, thankkkk you! I've been saying this forever and no one is listening.
Hopefully they'll get it this time. 🙂

Very interesting. Sadges, I think, always want what they can't get - being the journeymen and women of the zodiac. Maybe I'm wrong.

Posted by CancerianDude
Very interesting. Sadges, I think, always want what they can't get - being the journeymen and women of the zodiac. Maybe I'm wrong.

Mmmm, you mean, always get what they want...