A little help with my Scorpio and I'll give you help on your Aqua

As an Aqua, I'm usually pretty good at reading people, but this Scorpio is all over the map. We've been dating for 2 months, and I have only recently spent the last 2 weekends at his place because he expressed a desire to spend LOTS of time in my company. But during the week I'm always the one asks "whatcha up to?". He says he wants to give me my space. 😕 Arn't I the one who is supposed to ask for space? Is he trying to breadcrumb me or sideline me into FWB? One would work for him, the other is going to get him assassinated.

hmm no I think he's being genuine. As someone who is often ending up with Aquarians in friendship or relationships myself, I am kind of like him in that regards.

Growing up, I really wanted to be accepted (Chiron in the 11th- conjunct my moon on top of it so it was a painful childhood), so I would call my friends constantly back before cell phones were a thing to hang out with them. I really just wanted someone I could call my best friend. Never really had that. The friends I did have didn't want me around. I had a soft heart, so my feelings were usually hurt. In middle school I was somewhat the same, just wanting to be accepted by at least that one friend. I made friends with a Scorpio who always screwed me over. She was a horrible friend. Friendship was truly my deepest wound growing up....as depicted by 11th house Chiron.

In high school, I evolved. I no longer contacted people first. If people wanted to talk to me, they knew how to reach me. I became, as my moon sign and even ascendant as time depicts, superficial in friendship. I had many, many friends. Still never had that one friend to call my best friend. I fluctuated from group to group. My friends came from various backgrounds. But to this day I am not one to contact someone else. Even a lover.

I am currently....on and off with an Aquarius.....I don't even know what to call it...lol. I mean it's pretty much FWB not to sugarcoat it, but he gets very possessive and admits his feelings for me, but he's definitely a commitmentphobe. We don't see anyone else...ok well maybe I do go on other dates on occasion that seem promising...but I do that to pretty much rebel against the fact that he may be doing the same thing. There are no solid terms for us. Yet he doesnt want me seeing other people. Alas....I was never one to listen to unreciprocated demands. If he asked me to date him I would. He may eventually, but other than that I keep my distance. I never text him first. He seeks me out when he's ready. Every time we see each other he opens up a little bit more. I know he cares for me. He's just terrible at expressing it. He gets kind of distant like your Scorp does, but maybe it is their way of getting some of their own "me" time. Your Scorp may have some air dominance mixed with his water dominance as I do. I feel it makes someone very well-rounded.

I don't think he is sidelining you. I think he is probably focusing really hard on not annoying you or being too clingy. Personally thats what I do. For awhile, my Aquarius took that as rejection, and he spit venom at me with his words. I didn't even know what came over him! I thought by him not talking to me, he was telling me he was moving forward and so was I. I was trying to stay positive and be strong. Then he lashed out quite harshly at me. I would never hurt him. I just make sure I don't get in his personal bubble. Granted we are NOT dating, so I guess I have no right to be in his personal bubble anyways.

He is a Sun Scorp, Moon Gem, with Lib in Merc and Venus in Scorp. I am Aqua in ALL 4, but my Virgo Asc reins the crazy in. I like the energy and the intensity that generates when we're in the same space. It's also very, very comfortable, I don't feel hemmed in, or that he wants all my time, which can be so draining. Maybe it's a good thing that we started dating during winter when I am at my most hibernating state, won't shock him too much when spring and summer roll around.

My advice, ASK the Aqua male. Be honest about what you want. We're terrible liars, I mean bold, in your face lying, but amenable to not revealing everything. You could take the plunge and be honest, but not emotional, avoid dramatic flair, and simply state your interest for something more than FWB. Express what you want, then literally tell him, "I want you to give this some serious thought, for these reasons" then give him space and wait to see what he comes back with. I will eat my hat if he doesn't spend a week on a decision matrix tree, trying to figure it out. Where his Uranus is, will have an influence. Mine is in Scorpio, when I decided I liked my guy enough to spend whole weekends, I didn't do it without first charting every conceivable outcome.

Posted by Gennie
He is a Sun Scorp, Moon Gem, with Lib in Merc and Venus in Scorp. I am Aqua in ALL 4, but my Virgo Asc reins the crazy in. I like the energy and the intensity that generates when we're in the same space. It's also very, very comfortable, I don't feel hemmed in, or that he wants all my time, which can be so draining. Maybe it's a good thing that we started dating during winter when I am at my most hibernating state, won't shock him too much when spring and summer roll around.

My advice, ASK the Aqua male. Be honest about what you want. We're terrible liars, I mean bold, in your face lying, but amenable to not revealing everything. You could take the plunge and be honest, but not emotional, avoid dramatic flair, and simply state your interest for something more than FWB. Express what you want, then literally tell him, "I want you to give this some serious thought, for these reasons" then give him space and wait to see what he comes back with. I will eat my hat if he doesn't spend a week on a decision matrix tree, trying to figure it out. Where his Uranus is, will have an influence. Mine is in Scorpio, when I decided I liked my guy enough to spend whole weekends, I didn't do it without first charting every conceivable outcome.

ooh Gem moon. What an interesting mix! Maybe he is also used to Aqua energy. My father is an Aqua Sun/Merc/Venus/Jupiter/Saturn. Been around Aquas since day one. LITERALLY! Lmao. My dad has a Scorpio Neptune (reminds me of you saying you have Scorpio Uranus!).

Yes I am guessing (especially with his Gem moon) he is just really giving you that space. He probably doesnt want to seem stuffy and also wants you and him to live normally when apart. I'm sure he is definitely thinking of you silently. I always think of my certain guy of interest constantly. I'm a daydreamer. I also dote on convos of the past and etc. Very much in my head. For men usually the moon and Venus show what they look for in a relationship. The Gem and Scorp complex seems so interesting to me. He is probably very well-rounded. He loves his space (along with conversation- trait of a Gem). His Libra Mercury is also probably very helpful. He has a good variety of air! Communication and emotions may flow quite well. Depending on the potency of his Scorp Venus, it seems he keeps it well under control. Growing up, I have learned to control mine too for the most part, so I am not that imposing toward others especially those I care for.

My placements are under my photo. My moon is in the 11th house, which gives me interesting twists to my personality. Aqua is my second dominant sign according to Pullen followed by Aries.

As for my Aqua, I did in fact confront the issue head on... He disappeared for maybe....14 days. Asked how I was doing, I replied, then he went away again without responding. Then he came back a week later asking what I was doing. It was already a rough day, so I told him I didn't want to talk to him because I didn't need to add on to my pain since I'm not deserving of it, nor will I tolerate being used. He told me to call him, so I did. He's got fiery placements.
Aqua Sun/Merc
Capricorn Moon/Ascendant/Saturn/Neptune
Aries Venus/Jupiter
Sag Mars/Uranus
Scorpio Pluto

He told me I assume too much. He was defensive about the whole situation saying I shouldn't assume he doesn't care about me or that he is getting with other people (we had a situation at a club going to our friends wedding anniversary where I confronted him and he was not pleased). He told me he is just busy trying to graduate (it is both of our last semesters), and he wants to get good grades this semester and he doesnt have time for anything extra. I can understand, but he still dances around the issue I addressed. He came over that night ranting about a friend he thought betrayed him. In all reality Aqua was quite mean to our Libra friend, so the Libra lost respect and did turn his back after being treated poorly. I tried explaining this, and he was very upset thinking I was taking the Libra's side and turning against him/not caring for him, but I was trying to get him to see the Libra's perspective.

Most of his Cap placements are in the 12th house, including Uranus. He is very sensitive. To offset my justifying the Libra's actions, I just told him "you know I do care about YOU right?" he started waving his hand around and said "ok? and...what. what do you want me to say" I replied "you don't have to say anything" and you could tell he was slightly taken aback (most likely assuming I wanted some sort of reassurance from him)...he got quieter and stuttered "oh..well ok..I mean..thanks..thanks". We have not spoken since. This was...the 24th.

I think he is aware of my stance especially since I confront him head on about it, but he is having difficulty coming to his own stance on the subject. He has all hard aspects to his moon (except Moon sextile Pluto) and Venus. His moon is also conjunct his Saturn. He is emotionally complicated/closed off. Plus his moon is conjunct Uranus and Neptune. I don't expect much from him, but I will always be here for him and support him as a friend whenever he needs me. But eventually if he does not decide, I will have to put a wall up against the FWB because that life is just not for me.

It's rough on the more detached Aquas if there wasn't any nurture to combat the nature. Super cautious too, thats' a slow ride. With Mars in Cancer I can handle the energy thrown at me, the same as I can dish it out. His Mars, his behavior and his Uranus tells me that he wants everything on his terms. He may need to evolve just a little bit more.

This is me:

Sun Aquarius
Moon Aquarius
Mercury Aquarius
Venus Aquarius
Mars Cancer
Jupiter Gemini
Saturn Leo
Uranus Scorpio
Neptune Sagittarius
Pluto Libra
Lilith Cancer
Asc node Libra

Let the commentary on the crazy Aqua begin!

Posted by Gennie
It's rough on the more detached Aquas if there wasn't any nurture to combat the nature. Super cautious too, thats' a slow ride. With Mars in Cancer I can handle the energy thrown at me, the same as I can dish it out. His Mars, his behavior and his Uranus tells me that he wants everything on his terms. He may need to evolve just a little bit more.

This is me:

Sun Aquarius
Moon Aquarius
Mercury Aquarius
Venus Aquarius
Mars Cancer
Jupiter Gemini
Saturn Leo
Uranus Scorpio
Neptune Sagittarius
Pluto Libra
Lilith Cancer
Asc node Libra

Let the commentary on the crazy Aqua begin!

I'm thinking so. I know! What are the odds. His Sag Uranus is literally 29 degrees 59' so he was RIGHT THERE! to no avail LOL. he has a lot of Cap energy too though. He does play by his own rules. It's what I like about him, but regardless of what he decides he will always be a dear friend. I kind of take everything with a grain of salt. He definitely has more evolving to do. He's kind of in a strange point in life. I almost think sometimes he is going through his mid-life crisis. Some of his decisions really worry me. Lmao I sound like a mom.

Ah yes! My dad has a Mars in Cap and his Moon in Virgo. I think that definitely grounds him too. He takes things quite seriously.

If hes around 25, hes finally sorting out what kind of adult he is going to be. After all, no more parents to tell him what to do, no more school to tell him what to do. Now he has to figure out what he is.

Posted by Gennie
If hes around 25, hes finally sorting out what kind of adult he is going to be. After all, no more parents to tell him what to do, no more school to tell him what to do. Now he has to figure out what he is.

yep, turning 28 this year. Close to approaching his Saturn return. He's going to graduate undergrad studies this May. He had taken some time off school before going back and currently lives at home. He's not fond of being there.

I'm sure he will get there. Whether or not I will be there, he will do well once he figures it all out. He's just mentally in a strange place. He causes a lot of his own suffering and then wallows in it. He is stronger than what he acts like he is. He numbs his pain through recreational ways. It is the cause of his downfall. I know he will wake up on his own, but it is hard to watch. However, if I were to step in too much he would resent me.

The Aqua/Scorp dynamic will never be dull!

I dated two Aquas in my earlier years too. Both I still talk to to this day. They were great. I am glad we could remain friends.

I've never felt the pull of someone like I do this Scorp. I've had relationships with a Sag, two Cancers and a Virgo (shudder). But you are right, the dynamic is crazed. He's taking me to a work function to meet his boss and co-workers so that means we're good right?

Back from the weekend, the Good: profession of deep affection and desire for something more. the Bad: doing the professing after 6 drinks and 6 shots of tequila. the Ugly: Me recounting what happened because Scorpie couldn't remember and I am a terrible liar.

Posted by Gennie
As an Aqua, I'm usually pretty good at reading people, but this Scorpio is all over the map. We've been dating for 2 months, and I have only recently spent the last 2 weekends at his place because he expressed a desire to spend LOTS of time in my company. But during the week I'm always the one asks "whatcha up to?". He says he wants to give me my space. 😕 Arn't I the one who is supposed to ask for space? Is he trying to breadcrumb me or sideline me into FWB? One would work for him, the other is going to get him assassinated.

Oriental man say "No Aqua, No Help!"

Posted by Gennie
Back from the weekend, the Good: profession of deep affection and desire for something more. the Bad: doing the professing after 6 drinks and 6 shots of tequila. the Ugly: Me recounting what happened because Scorpie couldn't remember and I am a terrible liar.

it sounds like it is going good to me 🙂

I like to invite someone I really value and care about to work events or other social events in general too. I like them to be involved with my social life, and normally I am very close friends with my coworkers. I never had a close knit of friends really, but I currently work retail (Best Buy), and I consider my coworkers some of the most important people in my life. they are close friends to me. even my supervisor. I hang out with them a lot. it's kind of strange. a lot of them are 6+ years older than me, but I love them all. I think he is letting you into his inner world. that is always very important. I'm glad to hear things are going decent with you two 🙂

help you say?

I'm used to stripping the men in my life down to the studs and seeing what makes them tick. I'm comfortable with being the midnight confessional. I can be brutally blunt, caustic, sarcastic...observant. Getting people to talk is how I figure out where the boundaries are and navigate the emotional landscape. But Scorpie.....shut up tight. We're always talking about me, I steer it in his direction, and somehow it comes back.to.me.

Never trust a Scorpio who is all over the map with hot and cold behavior. Almost guaranteed there's a hurt he's getting over and this manifests in erratic behavior. If you want to wait until he gets through it, then fine, but be aware he's probably fighting a demon.

A healthy, emotionally available Scorpio is going to be consistent.

My own opinion about the lack of information about his life is due to the fact that Scorpio finds it hard to be untruthful. So he's got this thing on his mind he wants to talk about with you FIRST AND FOREMOST but he's not ready for some reason. So now its deflect, deflect, deflect.

My two cents anyway

I think it's my living situation. My ex and I live in different parts of our house, along with my stepson. We're tying up things with the house, but I have an agreement to stay for another 2.5 months while we get the financials squared away and put money toward getting it rented or sold. Unlike some of the other Scorps he isn't poofing at odd moments but he isn't a sharer at all, at least not anything personal. He seems to really understand why I live the way I do, but he doesn't like it. I'm in the position where I need him to hang in there until I am in the clear, but in the meantime, all my friends tell me secrets and use my shoulder to cry on, why won't he?

If it's demon fighting, I have a go bag with salt, holy water, a Devil's Trap and an iron sword.

There must have been some super secret Scorpio test I'm not aware of. I know Scorpie's last break up was so bad that he scrubbed her from his facebook, deleted his pictures with her, hit the unfriend. I'm like ok, I wish I could do that, but I don't want to upset my stepkids. Our social media hubs have mutual no-fly zones though. Unless the kids are involved, I'm not interested in anything my ex is up to. So a few days ago, his phone rings while we're in the car and using it to GPS to a restaurant and it's HIS ex, he doesn't answer the phone and is embarrassed. Couple of days later, HIS ex pops up in my facebook as someone I may know. So this weekend I gently ask what's up with going from no communication to all this? I get "Nothing, she just wants to be friends, I'm not interested in her like that." followed by "Are you jealous? If it bothers you I'll unfriend her." I said not to do that, I don't want to be the reason he isn't friends with someone.

In my head I'm thinking "No, I give every guy I date the death glare." I know I'm doing it cause I can feel an extra heavy RBF expression. I told him I don't compete, there are too many fish out there for me to go crazy over one stupid fish playing the jealousy game. I want to fall in love with someone who is in it to win the whole thing. Love for me right now may be fragile and in need of hothouse care, but by the end it's the strongest bond I have. Strong enough to get down into the dirty when stuff goes sideways. I'm not interested in testing driving toward a live-in, escape hatch relationship. Been, there, done that, have a few T-shirts. I'm giving him my "Love is a fragile tree sapling speech", and he's listening then buts in with:

- I loved you from the 3rd date.

My Face: (could not find RBF with glasses)



This weekend, all smiles and happy from him. We celebrated my Birthday with IHOP pancakes, a round of backgammon with my friends, and some Lunar New Year Lion dancing and Chinese food last night. We're going to have lunch with his parents, and I know he likes to sneak around like a ninja at his sister's house during the holidays and cock-eye random photos on her walls.

Sometimes I wanna stab Scorpie for all the charts and mental decision trees I am making.

the topic is really strange. help me with Scorpio and i'll help you get an aqua? 😕

Posted by BrightLight
Never trust a Scorpio who is all over the map with hot and cold behavior. Almost guaranteed there's a hurt he's getting over and this manifests in erratic behavior. If you want to wait until he gets through it, then fine, but be aware he's probably fighting a demon.

A healthy, emotionally available Scorpio is going to be consistent.

My own opinion about the lack of information about his life is due to the fact that Scorpio finds it hard to be untruthful. So he's got this thing on his mind he wants to talk about with you FIRST AND FOREMOST but he's not ready for some reason. So now its deflect, deflect, deflect.

My two cents anyway

this 100%

this guy sounds inconsistent.

its all or nothing.

no matter how you slice it.

Posted by lisabethur8
the topic is really strange. help me with Scorpio and i'll help you get an aqua? 😕

Posted by BrightLight
Never trust a Scorpio who is all over the map with hot and cold behavior. Almost guaranteed there's a hurt he's getting over and this manifests in erratic behavior. If you want to wait until he gets through it, then fine, but be aware he's probably fighting a demon.

A healthy, emotionally available Scorpio is going to be consistent.

My own opinion about the lack of information about his life is due to the fact that Scorpio finds it hard to be untruthful. So he's got this thing on his mind he wants to talk about with you FIRST AND FOREMOST but he's not ready for some reason. So now its deflect, deflect, deflect.

My two cents anyway

this 100%

this guy sounds inconsistent.

its all or nothing.

no matter how you slice it.

click to expand

More like solve my scorpio problem and I'll help solve your aqua problems, cause hey I wasn't expecting a free ride on advice without chipping in. Things seem to be picking up well. Literally the man is trying to be more open. The ex thing bugs me, not a on jealous level but something just seems off. Or I could just be making it too important in the grand scheme of things, he still texts me good morning and good night, random hearts to make me feel secure and stuff.