Do Scorps lie about their feelings? (I know my ex has in the past after we broke up.) I'm wondering if other scorps do and, if so, why? Is it to try to move on, to push the person away, to teach the person a lesson, or...?
Do you lie about your feelings?
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I know it isn't just scorpios and I know it just isn't my ex. I was just wondering if this is sort of the norm for scorpios who tend to do the disappearing, reappearing act. I just don't get why someone would say and act the opposite of what they are feeling. It seems like self-torture to me. Generally in life, you won't get good results if you act negatively. Why push a person away to keep coming back?
Yes, specially to myself.
We don't lie about our feelings. We don't act out our feelings either so it might not be a lie.
Posted by femmefatale
What if your ex was just hiding his feelings, is that the same as a lie?
A lie? No. It's just a emotional process of their own that they are getting through. Or a preference. If your mother in law asked you to eat and she couldn't cook and you said no thank you, I'm fine when you were starving, is that a lie? Or if you are it and it was trife then you looked at her and said thanks that was good is that a lie? Learn to stop looking so hard into things not everything is so black or white and it doesn't have to be.
Posted by femmefatale
What if your ex was just hiding his feelings, is that the same as a lie?
I wouldn't call it lying in a malicious context. Sometimes, hiding your feelings is a good thing, especially if you're angry and you need time to calm down so you don't hurt someone's feelings.
Here is more context:
My ex used to act like he was done, was a jerk (in actions and words), and even dated someone else for a couple of weeks. At one point when we were trying to work things out, he said I was the only one he ever wanted. There were many times when he couldn't have acted any more opposite of that.
I don't ever know if he is being honest with me, or just being dishonest with himself or playing games.
If there are Scorpios here who do act/speak in opposites of what they are really feeling, why do you do it? Do you realize the person may actually really believe it and walk away for good?
Posted by LittleMissPerfect
Yes, specially to myself.
I really think my ex does this a lot. But, I don't know for sure.
For me, that would never work. "Wherever you run, that's where you'll be."
I tend to say I'm fine, even when I'm not. It pops out before I even think about it. Not sure if all Scorpios do that though.
Posted by femmefatalePosted by greenlightPosted by femmefatale
What if your ex was just hiding his feelings, is that the same as a lie?
A lie? No. It's just a emotional process of their own that they are getting through. Or a preference. If your mother in law asked you to eat and she couldn't cook and you said no thank you, I'm fine when you were starving, is that a lie? Or if you are it and it was trife then you looked at her and said thanks that was good is that a lie? Learn to stop looking so hard into things not everything is so black or white and it doesn't have to be.
That question was for the OP.
She mentioned her ex... if he was/is hiding his feelings, then saying he's lying would be a harsh word to use.
So you and I are on the same page, really.click to expand
O I see. I agree with you.
Interesting post ! I had a scorpio gf some years ago , I wanted her back , so I asked her if she still had feelings for me , she said a clear "no" , but she posted romantic songs about a couple getting back togehter and she was single. it was confusing
Sometimes it's hard to do the right/rational thing, in his head he probably has something holding him back. I lied to a Virgo not long ago because she wouldn't leave me alone after we broke up. The higher my aggravation level gets the easier it is for the stinger to come out. Especially with people who don't have any self respect after a break up and they keep trying and trying. If you say any little thing to these people that gives them a thread of hope they'll keep holding on, sometimes you can't be nice, and sometimes people have to find a way of blaming you so it was your fault you're the bad guy not them. I oblige them when things get that bad.
Her: You never cared about me, you just played me
Me:Your right, you never meant shit to me
I have zero problems with being the bad guy if it will make shit end, they can have their pity party and I'll take my peace.
Her: You never cared about me, you just played me
Me:Your right, you never meant shit to me
I have zero problems with being the bad guy if it will make shit end, they can have their pity party and I'll take my peace.
Posted by SapphireMaidenPosted by wareagle
Sometimes it's hard to do the right/rational thing, in his head he probably has something holding him back. I lied to a Virgo not long ago because she wouldn't leave me alone after we broke up. The higher my aggravation level gets the easier it is for the stinger to come out. Especially with people who don't have any self respect after a break up and they keep trying and trying. If you say any little thing to these people that gives them a thread of hope they'll keep holding on, sometimes you can't be nice, and sometimes people have to find a way of blaming you so it was your fault you're the bad guy not them. I oblige them when things get that bad.
Her: You never cared about me, you just played me
Me:Your right, you never meant shit to me
I have zero problems with being the bad guy if it will make shit end, they can have their pity party and I'll take my peace.
Maybe she just loved you that much and was attached to you/your relationship hence the difficulty in her part to let go.
What you told her was harsh but I do understand the intent behind it. Sometimes, us Virgos need to have that cruel, reality wake-up call shoved onto our faces that we never meant to someone/don't mean something to someone anymore to have a reason to completely purge them out of our system and our life in order to move on and not continue analyzing what or where we have been wrong and whether there's still a chance for reconciliation.
It may sound masochistic but it becomes the initiating step to forget about the person at all cuz luckily for us, as an earth sign our feet is still firmly planted on the ground/reality...that's why if someone tells me that I didn't mean shit to them at all/anymore, I'll just hold onto their word as a painful reminder of finality, remove them out of my life and continue forward with my path.click to expand
YOU ARE 100% RIGHT SapphireMaiden
Posted by wareagle
Sometimes it's hard to do the right/rational thing, in his head he probably has something holding him back. I lied to a Virgo not long ago because she wouldn't leave me alone after we broke up. The higher my aggravation level gets the easier it is for the stinger to come out. Especially with people who don't have any self respect after a break up and they keep trying and trying. If you say any little thing to these people that gives them a thread of hope they'll keep holding on, sometimes you can't be nice, and sometimes people have to find a way of blaming you so it was your fault you're the bad guy not them. I oblige them when things get that bad.
Her: You never cared about me, you just played me
Me:Your right, you never meant shit to me
I have zero problems with being the bad guy if it will make shit end, they can have their pity party and I'll take my peace.
LOL THANKS BRO , I MEAN , NOW THAT YOU SAY IT , I WON'T INSIST ANYNMORE WITH MY SCORPIO EX , SHE TREATS ME NICE AND I THOUGHT SHE WANTED RECONCILIATION , BUT IT LOOKS LIKE SHE IS OVER ME ALREADY , I HAVE TO ACCEPT REALITY LOL
Posted by SapphireMaidenPosted by wareagle
Sometimes it's hard to do the right/rational thing, in his head he probably has something holding him back. I lied to a Virgo not long ago because she wouldn't leave me alone after we broke up. The higher my aggravation level gets the easier it is for the stinger to come out. Especially with people who don't have any self respect after a break up and they keep trying and trying. If you say any little thing to these people that gives them a thread of hope they'll keep holding on, sometimes you can't be nice, and sometimes people have to find a way of blaming you so it was your fault you're the bad guy not them. I oblige them when things get that bad.
Her: You never cared about me, you just played me
Me:Your right, you never meant shit to me
I have zero problems with being the bad guy if it will make shit end, they can have their pity party and I'll take my peace.
Maybe she just loved you that much and was attached to you/your relationship hence the difficulty in her part to let go.
What you told her was harsh but I do understand the intent behind it. Sometimes, us Virgos need to have that cruel, reality wake-up call shoved onto our faces that we never meant to someone/don't mean something to someone anymore to have a reason to completely purge them out of our system and our life in order to move on and not continue analyzing what or where we have been wrong and whether there's still a chance for reconciliation.
It may sound masochistic but it becomes the initiating step to forget about the person at all cuz luckily for us, as an earth sign our feet is still firmly planted on the ground/reality...that's why if someone tells me that I didn't mean shit to them at all/anymore, I'll just hold onto their word as a painful reminder of finality, remove them out of my life and continue forward with my path.click to expand
She wasn't in love with me, she was in love with the way I made her feel, typical male Scorpio problem. The reality that I've noticed with bad Virgo women is that they're very untrustworthy and will do stupid shit to have their way and think they can fix everything with an apology while never taking full responsibility for what they did. Selfish. Their motto seems to be it's easier to ask for forgiveness than to be honest, and i
Posted by gemini87Posted by DeathbyScorpioPosted by femmefatale
What if your ex was just hiding his feelings, is that the same as a lie?
I wouldn't call it lying in a malicious context. Sometimes, hiding your feelings is a good thing, especially if you're angry and you need time to calm down so you don't hurt someone's feelings.
Here is more context:
My ex used to act like he was done, was a jerk (in actions and words), and even dated someone else for a couple of weeks. At one point when we were trying to work things out, he said I was the only one he ever wanted. There were many times when he couldn't have acted any more opposite of that.
I don't ever know if he is being honest with me, or just being dishonest with himself or playing games.
If there are Scorpios here who do act/speak in opposites of what they are really feeling, why do you do it? Do you realize the person may actually really believe it and walk away for good?
Who took initiative to work things out? You or he?click to expand
If you were to ask me, I would say it was pretty much always me. If you were to ask him, he probably wouldn't agree. He will start off slowly by engaging in conversation with me. It's almost like he is testing the waters to see if he'll be rejected, even though he should know he wouldn't be. Or maybe he just needs to take things slowly. I don't know.
I think maybe he tried to move on from fear of getting hurt again, but couldn't. I don't know how to make him understand I'm not here to hurt him without talking, though. He also seems to be so engulfed in his own feelings that he seems completely oblivious to how his behavior affects me.
Posted by mrwang
Interesting post ! I had a scorpio gf some years ago , I wanted her back , so I asked her if she still had feelings for me , she said a clear "no" , but she posted romantic songs about a couple getting back togehter and she was single. it was confusing
As silly as it sounds, my ex posts songs he relates to us. I always thought he did this, and then a few times when we were together, he showed me the same songs. Sometimes, he flat out told me it reminds him of us, but most of the time, he wouldn't come out and say it. If I wasn't listening to the lyrics, for instance, he would get frustrated and tell me to listen.
A few days ago, after some drinks, I stupidly asked him if I could come over and just lie beside him. He said he was hopeful we could be friends, but he was sure that wouldn't be how. Again, stupidly, I asked him if he didn't want to lie next to me, and he said he didn't, and that he hoped we could be friends one day.
He has said the friends line more than once to me in the past, and I was crushed, because it sounded like he was done. Well...he always came back, and we eventually got back together. From the things he poured out to me, I don't think he was ever done. You can't go from deeply loving someone, to being done, to deeply loving as often as we went back and forth.
However, what if he is really done this time? Him saying he didn't really hurt. It was a slap in the face for me not to text him, though, especially not drunk.
Last night, he posted one of the songs he has repeatedly in the past that I know reminds him of us. The gist of the song is being worried you won't get over a person. So, I'm confused...as always.
Hi DeathbyScorpio,
From what you've described in your postings, he seems to want you when you appear to be moving on and getting over him, and he doesn't want you when you aren't doing that, like the example of what you said to him when drunk. So the maddening ping pong of this continues.
It would be better for you to stay away from him, as you know you should and have posted about in recent times. I know it's hard but the torture continues for you.
From what you've described in your posts in threads on this site, he has shown many times that he isn't a person who can communicate or be in a relationship in a truly loving way. His version of love isn't healthy love, it's based on control and manipulation, including his tactics of using songs which seem to mostly confuse you, if he's in fact conscious of what he's playing of course.
And yes he may, this time, truly be moving on himself.
From what you've described in your postings, he seems to want you when you appear to be moving on and getting over him, and he doesn't want you when you aren't doing that, like the example of what you said to him when drunk. So the maddening ping pong of this continues.
It would be better for you to stay away from him, as you know you should and have posted about in recent times. I know it's hard but the torture continues for you.
From what you've described in your posts in threads on this site, he has shown many times that he isn't a person who can communicate or be in a relationship in a truly loving way. His version of love isn't healthy love, it's based on control and manipulation, including his tactics of using songs which seem to mostly confuse you, if he's in fact conscious of what he's playing of course.
And yes he may, this time, truly be moving on himself.
I actually take pleasure in taking it all away is what I was saying. That feeling of adoration that you can make another person feel by the way you look at them and touch them, it isn't free, even though most scorps give it away at the beginning the other person has to maintain it.
When they don't and they start to take away your energy you have to turn it off so you can have some relief. I think this is what the OP is going through.
When they don't and they start to take away your energy you have to turn it off so you can have some relief. I think this is what the OP is going through.
Posted by innocentrosePosted by Shruikan
I tend to say I'm fine, even when I'm not. It pops out before I even think about it. Not sure if all Scorpios do that though.
I'm the same way. I do it because I'm just naturally evasive like that. I like to process my feelings on my own, mostly. Unless I'm with someone I really care about or trust, I don't open up.click to expand
Yeah I understand. A lot of times I need to sort through my own feelings and understand myself before I open up.
Posted by RabbitPosted by Shruikan
I tend to say I'm fine, even when I'm not. It pops out before I even think about it. Not sure if all Scorpios do that though.
I do.
I just don't feel like telling other people about it.
I've answered honestly before...and it tends to frighten people when they hear the truth.click to expand
Whenever I answer honestly people wanna start probing into the problem. I've noticed half the time I can't even finish expressing myself because they'll interrupt to tell me what I do and feel. Then I get annoyed
@rabbit +10000000 for real man.
Posted by wareaglePosted by SapphireMaidenPosted by wareagle
Sometimes it's hard to do the right/rational thing, in his head he probably has something holding him back. I lied to a Virgo not long ago because she wouldn't leave me alone after we broke up. The higher my aggravation level gets the easier it is for the stinger to come out. Especially with people who don't have any self respect after a break up and they keep trying and trying. If you say any little thing to these people that gives them a thread of hope they'll keep holding on, sometimes you can't be nice, and sometimes people have to find a way of blaming you so it was your fault you're the bad guy not them. I oblige them when things get that bad.
Her: You never cared about me, you just played me
Me:Your right, you never meant shit to me
I have zero problems with being the bad guy if it will make shit end, they can have their pity party and I'll take my peace.
Maybe she just loved you that much and was attached to you/your relationship hence the difficulty in her part to let go.
What you told her was harsh but I do understand the intent behind it. Sometimes, us Virgos need to have that cruel, reality wake-up call shoved onto our faces that we never meant to someone/don't mean something to someone anymore to have a reason to completely purge them out of our system and our life in order to move on and not continue analyzing what or where we have been wrong and whether there's still a chance for reconciliation.
It may sound masochistic but it becomes the initiating step to forget about the person at all cuz luckily for us, as an earth sign our feet is still firmly planted on the ground/reality...that's why if someone tells me that I didn't mean shit to them at all/anymore, I'll just hold onto their word as a painful reminder of finality, remove them out of my life and continue forward with my path.click to expand
She wasn't in love with me, she was in love with the way I made her feel, typical male Scorpio problem. The reality that I've noticed with bad Virgo women is that they're very untrustworthy and will do stupid shit to have their way and think they can fix everything with an apology while never taking full responsibility for wha
that's honestly very true about alot of women, not sign specificially but alot of women. They want to feel special, and dont really give back, but take take take the power/energy.
Posted by DeathbyScorpio
As silly as it sounds, my ex posts songs he relates to us. I always thought he did this, and then a few times when we were together, he showed me the same songs. Sometimes, he flat out told me it reminds him of us, but most of the time, he wouldn't come out and say it. If I wasn't listening to the lyrics, for instance, he would get frustrated and tell me to listen.
A few days ago, after some drinks, I stupidly asked him if I could come over and just lie beside him. He said he was hopeful we could be friends, but he was sure that wouldn't be how. Again, stupidly, I asked him if he didn't want to lie next to me, and he said he didn't, and that he hoped we could be friends one day.
He has said the friends line more than once to me in the past, and I was crushed, because it sounded like he was done. Well...he always came back, and we eventually got back together. From the things he poured out to me, I don't think he was ever done. You can't go from deeply loving someone, to being done, to deeply loving as often as we went back and forth.
However, what if he is really done this time? Him saying he didn't really hurt. It was a slap in the face for me not to text him, though, especially not drunk.
Last night, he posted one of the songs he has repeatedly in the past that I know reminds him of us. The gist of the song is being worried you won't get over a person. So, I'm confused...as always.
The more I read, the more I wonder if your ex and mine (well mine isn't really my "ex" but for ease of discussion) are the same person. I mean, I know they aren't because their jobs are too different, but other than that they could be the same man. I wasn't very into astrology until I noticed a pattern of Scorpios out of all the signs consistently seeming to fit the stereotypes of their sign.
Your ex saying he didn't want you to come over & lie with him is not the same as him lying about his feelings. He is not telling you his feelings. He didn't say why he didn't want you to. Same with times in the past when his behavior made you feel like he was done or no longer had romantic feelings for you - that was your interpretation of the way he was acting as opposed to him actually saying that, correct? So I would agree with others who suggested he is hiding his feelings as opposed to lying about them.
By the way, I hope any Scorpios are not offended by my above comment that in my experience Scorpios seem to really fit their sign. It's just something I've noticed with every Scorpio I've met. Of course some are more "evolved" than others & so many things other than when a person was born that shape who they are, so I hope no one takes it as a negative thing.
Insightful. That's interesting to me that you know exactly why you are doing it when you do that. I've had Scorps basically do that to me - ice me out or sting me if I push too much.
Posted by wareagle
Sometimes it's hard to do the right/rational thing, in his head he probably has something holding him back. I lied to a Virgo not long ago because she wouldn't leave me alone after we broke up. The higher my aggravation level gets the easier it is for the stinger to come out. Especially with people who don't have any self respect after a break up and they keep trying and trying. If you say any little thing to these people that gives them a thread of hope they'll keep holding on, sometimes you can't be nice, and sometimes people have to find a way of blaming you so it was your fault you're the bad guy not them. I oblige them when things get that bad.
Her: You never cared about me, you just played me
Me:Your right, you never meant shit to me
I have zero problems with being the bad guy if it will make shit end, they can have their pity party and I'll take my peace.
Insightful. That's interesting to me that you know exactly why you are doing it when you do that. I've had Scorps basically do that to me - ice me out or sting me if I push too much.
Posted by Rabbit
The over-analyzing of feelings/actions happening up in here is exactly the reason I don't talk about feelings.
Haha...But no one would have to wonder about or over-analyze your feelings or actions if you would just be open about them. 😉
Posted by Rabbit
The over-analyzing of feelings/actions happening up in here is exactly the reason I don't talk about feelings.
Coward.
Posted by INTJBullPosted by wareagle
She wasn't in love with me, she was in love with the way I made her feel, typical male Scorpio problem. The reality that I've noticed with bad Virgo women is that they're very untrustworthy and will do stupid butter to have their way and think they can fix everything with an apology while never taking full responsibility for what they did. Selfish. Their motto seems to be it's easier to ask for forgiveness than to be honest, and I actually take pleasure in taking it all away. That feeling of adoration that you can make another person feel by the way you look at them and touch them, it isn't free, even though most scorps give it away at the beginning the other person has to maintain it.
When they don't and they start to take away your energy you have to turn it off so you can have some relief. I think this is what the OP is going through.click to expand
Most interesting, yet most confusing post ever lol
So what you're saying is initially you will freely give of yourself, enjoying the adoration that you give just by a look or touch, but you enjoy snatching it away when you don't feel that the other person loves you as a person, but only the way you make them feel?
Maybe I'm reading it wrong but if you're focused on gaining adoration by look & feel, how could anyone grow to love you on a deeper more meaningful level? Look & feel are surface level for most IMO. I suppose look & feel can be deep too if with the right person. I'm a Taurus and I do a lot of communicating with my eyes but not everyone "gets" that form of communication in my experience. Scorpios tend to though. Maybe you think that you're being deep while most others think you just have a staring problem lol EX: I could be completely stone faced & have people tell me that I give off a seductive look. I'm not trying to, that's just what my eyes convey.
Do you open up & share your emotions, thoughts, needs, wants, goals, dreams.... all the things most others consider deep things? You said that Virgo women are untrustworthy so I'm guessing that you don't get deep in that way with them.
Also curious about the things you perceive as "dumb shit" that these women apologize for? If they are apologizing aren't they acknowledging (being honest) & taking responsibility for their wrong doing?
Posted by Rabbit
The over-analyzing of feelings/actions happening up in here is exactly the reason I don't talk about feelings.
That makes no sense. We are overanalyzing because we are given so very few clues about how these Scorpios in our lives feel. If they were open about their feelings we wouldn't have to analyze them & run to astrology forums to try to figure it out. Most of us end up here when a Scorp we care about ices us out.
My observation is that most Scorps seem to actually expect that everyone else intuit what they want & how they feel without them having to change their unusual communication style (or lack thereof) one bit. I have some close Scorp friends so I get to see a side of them & hear things from them that their less close friends or love interests do not. Examples of typical conversations between me & my Scorp friends:
Scorpio: "I can't believe my friend keeps doing this thing that I hate."
Me: "Have you explained to him how you feel?"
Scorpio: "No. But he should know!"
Scorpio: "My girlfriend isn't being attentive enough so I'm avoiding her."
Me: "Have you tried talking to her about it? Or maybe try taking more initiative yourself?"
Scorpio: "No, I haven't said a word about it. I'm waiting for her to."
They never take my advice.
Dammit, I guess I have to follow that Virgo advice and preview post lol. First to unconfuse things, I'm not looking for adoration it's one of the things I have to offer I'm a man and I need to be with a woman I can continously admire so that I can give that to her. Just because it's there in the beginning doesn't mean it will always be there. Maybe the women who are attracted to scorpios are looking for that kind of bond and surrender on some kind of subconscious level. Surface level, no it's a deep connection that you can't just have with anyone. Maybe you've never had it so you don't get it. Certain signs can probably do it for each other I guess.
I do get "deep" with them. The thing I think you don't understand is that the reason people do things is more important than the things they do. Their motives are who they are. This is why we have to get down to the core. There's a difference between knowing what you are doing is wrong and still doing it and a mistake. Just like there's a difference between feeling remorse that you really hurt someone and just apologizing because you were caught and now you don't want to lose the person. There's nothing wrong with taking responsibility for what you did, but it doesn't just take away the pain they caused and doesn't mean you have to forgive or give them a chance to do it again. This is why motives are so important, people are who they are. I think water signs take rationalization to the deepest depths and other people just don't get it.
I do get "deep" with them. The thing I think you don't understand is that the reason people do things is more important than the things they do. Their motives are who they are. This is why we have to get down to the core. There's a difference between knowing what you are doing is wrong and still doing it and a mistake. Just like there's a difference between feeling remorse that you really hurt someone and just apologizing because you were caught and now you don't want to lose the person. There's nothing wrong with taking responsibility for what you did, but it doesn't just take away the pain they caused and doesn't mean you have to forgive or give them a chance to do it again. This is why motives are so important, people are who they are. I think water signs take rationalization to the deepest depths and other people just don't get it.
Posted by lisabethur8
that's honestly very true about alot of women, not sign specificially but alot of women. They want to feel special, and dont really give back, but take take take the power/energy.
Exactly, you'd think they would do anything it took to keep it, but they're only ready to fight for it when it's already to late. Then they become stalkers 😢. I know so many scorpios that get turned a bit evil through the process, the ego boost that comes with a break up.
That makes no sense. We are overanalyzing because we are given so very few clues about how these Scorpios in our lives feel. If they were open about their feelings we wouldn't have to analyze them & run to astrology forums to try to figure it out. Most of us end up here when a Scorp we care about ices us out.
My observation is that most Scorps seem to actually expect that everyone else intuit what they want & how they feel without them having to change their unusual communication style (or lack thereof) one bit. I have some close Scorp friends so I get to see a side of them & hear things from them that their less close friends or love interests do not. Examples of typical conversations between me & my Scorp friends:
Scorpio: "I can't believe my friend keeps doing this thing that I hate."
Me: "Have you explained to him how you feel?"
Scorpio: "No. But he should know!"
Scorpio: "My girlfriend isn't being attentive enough so I'm avoiding her."
Me: "Have you tried talking to her about it? Or maybe try taking more initiative yourself?"
Scorpio: "No, I haven't said a word about it. I'm waiting for her to."
They never take my advice.
This.
Posted by INTJBull
"Exactly, you'd think they would do anything it took to keep it, but they're only ready to fight for it when it's already to late. Then they become stalkers 😢. I know so many scorpios that get turned a bit evil through the process, the ego boost that comes with a break up.+ I actually take pleasure in taking it all away. That feeling of adoration that you can make another person feel"
This is what it's all about 😆 Sadistic psychological ISSUES! 😆
Lol ... funny 🙂
As another perspective: I will plainly state that I need some time to process or I felt that you misunderstood what I said/meant and would like to clarify or I don't have enough information to make an informed decision etc ... Maybe it's my Leeb Venus ... ~Aha Moment~ ... I think I need to find a Scorp with a Leeb Venus!!
I call that a head fuck. I'm not psychic/intuitive & I shouldn't have to try to read between the lines to figure out if you want the opposite of what you're saying when you could very easily just say what you want. That's nuts lol Past experience tells me if I would have disregarded the fact that he was going to bed & begged him to come over now he would have told me I was being needy & clingy. So fuck it. I've driven myself bonkers trying to figure out what I've done wrong for too long. He can ice me out forever as far as I'm concerned. I'm tired of walking on eggshells.
Amen, sister. Sure, those are stereotypical Scorp traits, but on a more basic level, it's just crazy. Not communicating is not benefitial to any type of relatonship. Most people are not psychic. Ha Resisting what you want and hurting yourself when all you have to do is open your mouth to fix the problem is crazy. Why torture yourself? You can run from your feelings, but you can't hide. They will still be there until you deal with them.
I'm curious--Have any of the Scorps on here done the disappearing act and ended up getting burned because the person got tired of it and finally left for good? If so, did you learn anything from it? Did it make you want to change your approach? Did you have regrets?
My sister is a Scorpio and she was telling me how she is. For example, she said when she gets mad at her husband, she will sometimes go three weeks without saying one word to him--not good morning, hello, nothing. She said the more he tries to talk things out with her, the angrier she gets. However, she admitted that if he says nothing, she will get just as angry. I asked what she expected him to do because that's contradicting. She said she expects him to do nice things for her and make nice comments to her while she is silent. I asked if she heard herself and if she realized that is crazy. She said she knew it makes no sense, but it's just the way she is. .....0_o. Ummm...okay.
My sister is a Scorpio and she was telling me how she is. For example, she said when she gets mad at her husband, she will sometimes go three weeks without saying one word to him--not good morning, hello, nothing. She said the more he tries to talk things out with her, the angrier she gets. However, she admitted that if he says nothing, she will get just as angry. I asked what she expected him to do because that's contradicting. She said she expects him to do nice things for her and make nice comments to her while she is silent. I asked if she heard herself and if she realized that is crazy. She said she knew it makes no sense, but it's just the way she is. .....0_o. Ummm...okay.
It's strange for me to read stories about Scorpios who expect people to psychically understand them, or who do some of the other negative things that have been mentioned in this thread.
I've had talks with people to try to work things out if I was bothered by something they did or said. It takes a lot for me to be upset enough to need to arrange a talk like that, though. And I mean that I initiated the talk. It isn't easy to do it, but very important.
I've given advice to people that involved encouraged them to talk to people they were having issues with. I wasn't advising Scorpios, usually. There are a lot of people who don't deal with conflict well and avoid discussion, not always out of an expectation that they should be understood psychically, simply out of fear.
I also haven't done an ice out as it's usually described. If I've had to cut contact with someone (and it was always for extreme reasons - for example, someone I was friends with turned out to be racist and a thief) I've told them goodbye and why. And not abusively, it was done in a straight forward way.
I've had talks with people to try to work things out if I was bothered by something they did or said. It takes a lot for me to be upset enough to need to arrange a talk like that, though. And I mean that I initiated the talk. It isn't easy to do it, but very important.
I've given advice to people that involved encouraged them to talk to people they were having issues with. I wasn't advising Scorpios, usually. There are a lot of people who don't deal with conflict well and avoid discussion, not always out of an expectation that they should be understood psychically, simply out of fear.
I also haven't done an ice out as it's usually described. If I've had to cut contact with someone (and it was always for extreme reasons - for example, someone I was friends with turned out to be racist and a thief) I've told them goodbye and why. And not abusively, it was done in a straight forward way.
Posted by INTJBull
"Exactly, you'd think they would do anything it took to keep it, but they're only ready to fight for it when it's already to late. Then they become stalkers 😢. I know so many scorpios that get turned a bit evil through the process, the ego boost that comes with a break up.+ I actually take pleasure in taking it all away. That feeling of adoration that you can make another person feel"
This is what it's all about 😆 Sadistic psychological ISSUES! 😆
I get it after your post before this one, its all hitting a little close to home for you. Just because I'm like this, arrogant and big headed, doesn't mean the Scorpio you're dealing with is. I was talking about breakups and not going hot and cold.
Posted by CopperDove
It's strange for me to read stories about Scorpios who expect people to psychically understand them, or who do some of the other negative things that have been mentioned in this thread.
I've had talks with people to try to work things out if I was bothered by something they did or said. It takes a lot for me to be upset enough to need to arrange a talk like that, though. And I mean that I initiated the talk. It isn't easy to do it, but very important.
I've given advice to people that involved encouraged them to talk to people they were having issues with. I wasn't advising Scorpios, usually. There are a lot of people who don't deal with conflict well and avoid discussion, not always out of an expectation that they should be understood psychically, simply out of fear.
I also haven't done an ice out as it's usually described. If I've had to cut contact with someone (and it was always for extreme reasons - for example, someone I was friends with turned out to be racist and a thief) I've told them goodbye and why. And not abusively, it was done in a straight forward way.
I don't think EVERY Scorpio acts how people mention online, but you do seem MUCH more mature and "evolved" than all the Scorpios I personally know. There is even a 45 year old Scorp I know who gets his feelings hurt SO easily, and then will just leave a gathering without saying a word or won't speak for weeks. It's okay to be sensitive, but to not communicate is not healthy. People don't always know things they do hurt your feelings. Maybe if some Scorps would explain things, their loved ones would understand how to deal with them better. Then there would be less turmoil. Everyone wins. lol
Thanks for all your input on here, CD. 🙂
It makes perfect sense.
The fact that people waste so much time trying to figure this shit out is justification enough for me.
I mean jesus fuck...sometimes we just don't want to talk about them. Leave it at that.
It's hard enough dealing with and making sense of them ourselves that we don't need to bothered explaining them to others or trying to validate them to others.
The most successful partners of Scorpios know to just let them deal with their emotions as the Scorpio sees fit and are fine with doing that.
If that's not what you want...then it's best you find someone else.
Personally, I would fine letting a person retreat and have time to get their thoughts and feelings together, as long as they communicated at some point. However, I'm dealing with someone who will retreat for weeks or MONTHS at a time, and seems to think that's okay behavior and wants to come back as if nothing really happened. It is very hurtful to shut someone out for so long. I will never understand that. I don't see what that solves.
Posted by DeathbyScorpio
I'm curious--Have any of the Scorps on here done the disappearing act and ended up getting burned because the person got tired of it and finally left for good? If so, did you learn anything from it? Did it make you want to change your approach? Did you have regrets?
My sister is a Scorpio and she was telling me how she is. For example, she said when she gets mad at her husband, she will sometimes go three weeks without saying one word to him--not good morning, hello, nothing. She said the more he tries to talk things out with her, the angrier she gets. However, she admitted that if he says nothing, she will get just as angry. I asked what she expected him to do because that's contradicting. She said she expects him to do nice things for her and make nice comments to her while she is silent. I asked if she heard herself and if she realized that is crazy. She said she knew it makes no sense, but it's just the way she is. .....0_o. Ummm...okay.
Never been burned by it, when I was younger I would usually ice people out because I was to much of a chicken shit to breakup so I let them do it or the entire thing would just fizzle out. When I need me time a simple I'm busy or Im doing whatever should be enough in the beginning, I have no clue when it's going to end and if the other person tries to pressure me into a commitment to see them that is aggravating. I've noticed that it's mostly a problem when relationships are in the beginning stages, once the other person is more secure and they really get it, that it has nothing to do with how I feel about them, then things are easy.
It's probably made even worse because things do usually start off so intense with us. I'm actually very careful about the way I talk to women compared to when I was younger. I used to also get swept away in the intensity and say things that were totally wrong to say to another person without really knowing them. Horrible excuse, but everyone has to grow up and learn their lessons.
Posted by Rabbit
LMAO @ retreating for weeks or months.
Why woukd you EVEN BOTHER with someone that pulled that shit?
"My Scorpio man hasn't called me in 6 weeks. Why? What is he feeling—"
Bitch...the only thing he's feeling is another bitch's cervix with the tip of his dick.
Don't bother trying to figure out why or what he's feeling. Find your self esteem and move on.
Because, unfortunately, love can be blind...ie, stupid. If I had known he would do this before love occurred, I wouldn't have touched him with a 10 foot pole. The equally insane part of it all is that he kept coming back and then pouring his heart out about how he missed me. Like...WHAT? Anyway...none of it makes sense.
Posted by Rabbit
LMAO @ retreating for weeks or months.
Why woukd you EVEN BOTHER with someone that pulled that shit?
"My Scorpio man hasn't called me in 6 weeks. Why? What is he feeling—"
Bitch...the only thing he's feeling is another bitch's cervix with the tip of his dick.
Don't bother trying to figure out why or what he's feeling. Find your self esteem and move on.
I agree, weeks or months is ridiculous. He's just going back because she let's him. She's holding on to that feeling
Posted by DeathbyScorpioPosted by CopperDove
It's strange for me to read stories about Scorpios who expect people to psychically understand them, or who do some of the other negative things that have been mentioned in this thread.
I've had talks with people to try to work things out if I was bothered by something they did or said. It takes a lot for me to be upset enough to need to arrange a talk like that, though. And I mean that I initiated the talk. It isn't easy to do it, but very important.
I've given advice to people that involved encouraged them to talk to people they were having issues with. I wasn't advising Scorpios, usually. There are a lot of people who don't deal with conflict well and avoid discussion, not always out of an expectation that they should be understood psychically, simply out of fear.
I also haven't done an ice out as it's usually described. If I've had to cut contact with someone (and it was always for extreme reasons - for example, someone I was friends with turned out to be racist and a thief) I've told them goodbye and why. And not abusively, it was done in a straight forward way.
I don't think EVERY Scorpio acts how people mention online, but you do seem MUCH more mature and "evolved" than all the Scorpios I personally know. There is even a 45 year old Scorp I know who gets his feelings hurt SO easily, and then will just leave a gathering without saying a word or won't speak for weeks. It's okay to be sensitive, but to not communicate is not healthy. People don't always know things they do hurt your feelings. Maybe if some Scorps would explain things, their loved ones would understand how to deal with them better. Then there would be less turmoil. Everyone wins. lol
Thanks for all your input on here, CD. 🙂click to expand
You're welcome! Thanks for posting about your situation. 🙂
Yikes about the 45 year old. I'm in my early 40s, and I didn't do that when I was very young either so it's again so foreign to me.
I seem to be more verbal and less secretive and suspicious compared to a lot of Scorpios.
I agree, it would help A LOT if people who tend to do the silent routine opened up and explained to their baffled loved ones what's going on. Some people have trouble figuring out what they're feeling and thinking but
-- sorry, I was cut off.
Some people have trouble figuring out what they're feeling and thinking, but with some work internally they can start to understand their emotions better. Not easy always, but doable if the person really wants to.
Some people have trouble figuring out what they're feeling and thinking, but with some work internally they can start to understand their emotions better. Not easy always, but doable if the person really wants to.
Posted by wareagle
Never been burned by it, when I was younger I would usually ice people out because I was to much of a chicken shit to breakup so I let them do it or the entire thing would just fizzle out. When I need me time a simple I'm busy or Im doing whatever should be enough in the beginning, I have no clue when it's going to end and if the other person tries to pressure me into a commitment to see them that is aggravating. I've noticed that it's mostly a problem when relationships are in the beginning stages, once the other person is more secure and they really get it, that it has nothing to do with how I feel about them, then things are easy.
It's probably made even worse because things do usually start off so intense with us. I'm actually very careful about the way I talk to women compared to when I was younger. I used to also get swept away in the intensity and say things that were totally wrong to say to another person without really knowing them. Horrible excuse, but everyone has to grow up and learn their lessons.
Very insightful. What kinds of things did you used to say to women when caught up in the intensity of a new relationship?
Posted by DeathbyScorpioPosted by femmefatale
What if your ex was just hiding his feelings, is that the same as a lie?
I wouldn't call it lying in a malicious context. Sometimes, hiding your feelings is a good thing, especially if you're angry and you need time to calm down so you don't hurt someone's feelings.
Here is more context:
My ex used to act like he was done, was a jerk (in actions and words), and even dated someone else for a couple of weeks. At one point when we were trying to work things out, he said I was the only one he ever wanted. There were many times when he couldn't have acted any more opposite of that.
I don't ever know if he is being honest with me, or just being dishonest with himself or playing games.
If there are Scorpios here who do act/speak in opposites of what they are really feeling, why do you do it? Do you realize the person may actually really believe it and walk away for good?click to expand
I'm a Scorpio ascendant and I have done this in the past. I know why I'm doing it and it's to save myself from hurt. Only if I'm unsure of the other persons feelings though.
The flip side of this is to save the other person from hurt in the long run because I know I don't feel the same as them.
I've never done it in a game playing way, as in to fi d out if the other person feels something or not. Because that would be imo cruel.
However, having said all this I'm just a Scorpio ascendant not sun, so can't speak for them.
Posted by lisabethur8
that's honestly very true about alot of women, not sign specificially but alot of women. They want to feel special, and dont really give back, but take take take the power/energy.
Men do this too...
I'm a Scorpio ascendant and I have done this in the past. I know why I'm doing it and it's to save myself from hurt. Only if I'm unsure of the other persons feelings though.
The flip side of this is to save the other person from hurt in the long run because I know I don't feel the same as them.
I've never done it in a game playing way, as in to fi d out if the other person feels something or not. Because that would be imo cruel.
However, having said all this I'm just a Scorpio ascendant not sun, so can't speak for them.
If I had to guess, I would guess he is trying to move on to save himself from future hurt. However, I think he still loves me and doesn't know if he can move on, so he won't tell me it's over. Is that something a Scorpio would do? I don't know how things can be fixed if he won't talk. If we talked, I think he would feel better about the situation. I can't force him to talk, though, so all I know to do is pull back and do nothing.
Bull, I don't remember your story. Were you guys ever in a relationship or is this relatively new? Have you gone back and forth with the ice outs/communicating before? How long did it take for him to contact you? Do you think he contacted you because he noticed your absence? Sorry for all the questions. Your guy sounds like mine and a lot of others I've read about. Haha. It's almost like they are fighting themselves.
Posted by DeathbyScorpio
I'm a Scorpio ascendant and I have done this in the past. I know why I'm doing it and it's to save myself from hurt. Only if I'm unsure of the other persons feelings though.
The flip side of this is to save the other person from hurt in the long run because I know I don't feel the same as them.
I've never done it in a game playing way, as in to fi d out if the other person feels something or not. Because that would be imo cruel.
However, having said all this I'm just a Scorpio ascendant not sun, so can't speak for them.
If I had to guess, I would guess he is trying to move on to save himself from future hurt. However, I think he still loves me and doesn't know if he can move on, so he won't tell me it's over. Is that something a Scorpio would do? I don't know how things can be fixed if he won't talk. If we talked, I think he would feel better about the situation. I can't force him to talk, though, so all I know to do is pull back and do nothing.click to expand
Reading this (and a few of your other threads) has been painful. I'm not going to bother giving feedback regarding why this or that because it's keeping you trapped in this toxic loop you refuse to get out of. So instead a question for you: what makes to hard to "leave" and not look back? Using love as an excuse doesn't translate for me, because love of self would have helped you walk away months ago. So what makes it hard? Honestly.
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