Do you lie about your feelings? (Page 2)

Reading this (and a few of your other threads) has been painful. I'm not going to bother giving feedback regarding why this or that because it's keeping you trapped in this toxic loop you refuse to get out of. So instead a question for you: what makes to hard to "leave" and not look back? Using love as an excuse doesn't translate for me, because love of self would have helped you walk away months ago. So what makes it hard? Honestly.

It isn't a refusal to get out of anything. If I had a magic wand to erase my feelings, it would have been done a very long time ago. If I had a magic wand to change my situation so that I could have a different job, I would have already done so. Some things in life you have to go through because there isn't a way around it, unfortunately. I am trying to move on and have taken the only steps I know to do. I still want to understand, if that's even possible. I have self-love. Having self-love isn't going to change my circumstances right now.

There are also other factors that make it hard that I haven't mentioned here. They are too personal and this is the internet. I don't expect someone on a message board to understand. I'm here for insight to help me understand what I see as crazy.

Posted by DeathbyScorpio

Reading this (and a few of your other threads) has been painful. I'm not going to bother giving feedback regarding why this or that because it's keeping you trapped in this toxic loop you refuse to get out of. So instead a question for you: what makes to hard to "leave" and not look back? Using love as an excuse doesn't translate for me, because love of self would have helped you walk away months ago. So what makes it hard? Honestly.

It isn't a refusal to get out of anything. If I had a magic wand to erase my feelings, it would have been done a very long time ago. If I had a magic wand to change my situation so that I could have a different job, I would have already done so. Some things in life you have to go through because there isn't a way around it, unfortunately. I am trying to move on and have taken the only steps I know to do. I still want to understand, if that's even possible. I have self-love. Having self-love isn't going to change my circumstances right now.

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Death, no one stated you need to erase your feelings....😕 why is everyone reading sh*t I'm not even writing? I'm a water sign, so I recognize that it doesn't work like that. Stop being so defensive. No one is attacking you. At least I'm not.

I recognize your circumstances make it hard, but there are a lot of things in life that make things hard. If it was easy no one would actually learn anything. It's life circumstances like this that make you stronger, if you choose to be.

With that stated, your "circumstances" still do not speak to why you allow him to come back when he treats you the way that he does now does it? How does understanding something that doesn't make sense to you help you feel better and move on---especially since you've described it as "crazy"? The only things that should matter is
1) The fact that he is not treating you as you feel you deserve and that's not good enough.
2) When is he going to fix it and change?
3) If not, what choices you have to take care of yourself?

Why is frankly irrelevant. However, you can continue to make this about what he's feeling and hiding from you.

Posted by DeathbyScorpio
There are also other factors that make it hard that I haven't mentioned here. They are too personal and this is the internet. I don't expect someone on a message board to understand. ...

I'm here for insight to help me understand what I see as crazy.

Lol. Same logic can be applied to you. You want to understand the inner workings of a highly sensitive sign that goes out of their way to protect their feelings by asking strangers on a message board---something you don't even respect since you repeatedly have referred to it as crazy, self torture *insert word here*. You mock it, yet claim you want understanding. Okay.

Carry on.

Phoenix, I have let him come back and tried to forgive everything and move on. However, after several attempts at that, I'm finally realizing maybe he won't change his behavior until I stop allowing it (by still being there). I was hoping that me being loving would help, but it only helped some of the time. I do hope he will come around and want to talk one day, but I've already decided I will react differently this time, if he does. I'm going to make it clear that I feel he doesn't respect my feelings when he shuts me out for so long, that that is not healthy, and I don't want that in my life. If he wants to try to work on things, he will have to pursue me like he did in the beginning. His feelings need to match his actions. I do still love him, but my feelings have changed for him. Love has to be nourished.

As a Scorpio, if you have any suggestions as to what would be helpful if he ever DOES talk, please share. I know Scorpios are extremely sensitive. The ones I know tend to run if they feel hurt. That won't help the situation, and it certainly won't help him.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by DeathbyScorpio

I'm a Scorpio ascendant and I have done this in the past. I know why I'm doing it and it's to save myself from hurt. Only if I'm unsure of the other persons feelings though.

The flip side of this is to save the other person from hurt in the long run because I know I don't feel the same as them.

I've never done it in a game playing way, as in to fi d out if the other person feels something or not. Because that would be imo cruel.

However, having said all this I'm just a Scorpio ascendant not sun, so can't speak for them.

If I had to guess, I would guess he is trying to move on to save himself from future hurt. However, I think he still loves me and doesn't know if he can move on, so he won't tell me it's over. Is that something a Scorpio would do? I don't know how things can be fixed if he won't talk. If we talked, I think he would feel better about the situation. I can't force him to talk, though, so all I know to do is pull back and do nothing.

Reading this (and a few of your other threads) has been painful. I'm not going to bother giving feedback regarding why this or that because it's keeping you trapped in this toxic loop you refuse to get out of. So instead a question for you: what makes to hard to "leave" and not look back? Using love as an excuse doesn't translate for me, because love of self would have helped you walk away months ago. So what makes it hard? Honestly.

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+1

Sometimes you have to realise that love is not enough.
If it's causing this much anguish and heartache it's time to move on for your own sake.
If you carry on like this it will eat you up and leave you feeling empty.

Posted by DeathbyScorpio
Phoenix, I have let him come back and tried to forgive everything and move on. However, after several attempts at that, I'm finally realizing maybe he won't change his behavior until I stop allowing it (by still being there). I was hoping that me being loving would help, but it only helped some of the time. I do hope he will come around and want to talk one day, but I've already decided I will react differently this time, if he does. I'm going to make it clear that I feel he doesn't respect my feelings when he shuts me out for so long, that that is not healthy, and I don't want that in my life. If he wants to try to work on things, he will have to pursue me like he did in the beginning. His feelings need to match his actions. I do still love him, but my feelings have changed for him. Love has to be nourished.

As a Scorpio, if you have any suggestions as to what would be helpful if he ever DOES talk, please share.

Death, everything you just wrote is all the advice I would give you. Most of the time when people post here they know what to do, but the noise of emotions gets in the way. You just proved that *sips tea*.

You know what to do lady Crab. Trust in that.

In the meantime, just find something to take your mind off of things. Try to have fun. Go out if you have the energy. I know that's hard, but try.

"Do you lie about your feelings?"

Never...

Open book, take it or leave it.

I guess always(

Posted by DeathbyScorpio
As a Scorpio, if you have any suggestions as to what would be helpful if he ever DOES talk, please share. I know Scorpios are extremely sensitive. The ones I know tend to run if they feel hurt. That won't help the situation, and it certainly won't help him.

I am very curious if anyone has any advice in this area as well. When a Scorpio starts communicating a little again after freezing you out for a while, how can we best show them it's not ok to treat us that way while also not scaring them away or pushing them to react with the stinger? I'm thinking in particular if I am not getting to see them in person - when just communicating long distance it makes it extremely easy for a person to just not deal with anything difficult. Do you act normal and not address anything until you see them in person? (which in my case could be a very long wait)