Is it forgiveness or is it vengeance?

Alright guys,
I broke the number ONE rule with a scorpio. I lied to him, twice. Needless to say he took it to heart and he feels completely betrayed. We tried to give it a month after the second time, but he was so jealous and untrusting of me by the end of it he decided he would never be able to forgive me. I never cheated but the lie in itself was a great betrayal.

The next night he popped by my house unexpectedly and kept putting his arm around me and placed his had on my knee, as if nothing changed.. The next day we had a "friend" movie day at my place where he was in close proximity and held my hand.. Now dont get me wrong, his actions during this time felt a little distant, like he was contemplative or hurt.. So I tried to talk to him about how he's being awfully affectionate to which he completely denied everything and got cold again.. He's visiting me every day and still says he loves me; but will sometimes say things with such a cruel sharp tone, I almost cry. Then other times be soft and sweet as he used to be.

I know gaining his trust might be impossible, but Im willing to go through his moods with him so long as he's not just stringing me along to cause me as much pain as he feels I deserve.

So is he feeling it out again or seeking revenge?

Honestly, I would not.

I feel like if it was the point of no return he would have been ice cold and disappeared completely by now.
I understand the risks, but I am willing to take the time to earn his trust back. Im taking this all at his speed and being as open as I possibly can be save a 24 hr surveillance. I am also trying to be respectful of him as far as space goes.

If it is only more heartache for him I will let it cool off but as an aries woman, I will not give up; only know when I should move on. And so long as what he says is true, which upon reflection has always been gold, then I will endure.


He's worth it.

C'est la vie
if not.

It was a far cry from domestic violence. It was my dishonesty at first and then a white lie..
To me it was a small slight, but for someone like him honesty is very important. I made the mistake of not truly understanding how deep that ran; and soiled my "second" chance.
And other than recently, we were a happy couple. No fights, no drama. He was endlessly caring.


and now a quote from a couple who have made it 65 years through marriage

" We were born in a time when if something was broken we would fix it, not throw it away."



Thank you for your concern I do accept all responsibility for my actions and the events that might transpire.

He's not done with you, he's just being cautious, hang in there he's gonna be testing u from now on...don't give him a reason to mistrust u anymore, if he didn't care about u no contact would've came after the lies, be patient & good luck! 🙂

Ive had my share of those too, and the lesson then IS to move on. Sorry you had to go through that deary :/

To quote a now silly movie and and an adolescent book "We accept the love we think we deserve"

I think that holds alot of truth and Im glad you realized you need more,
because you deserve it all

Posted by ellessque
don't bother.


"I'm willing to go through his moods with him so long as he's not just stringing me along to cause me as much pain as he feels I deserve."

^^^^^^^^ you are just going to betray him again. *shrugs*

You don't trust yourself + you don't trust him = he can't trust you.

ahem..^^agreed 😕

You screwed up and inflicted the ultimate betrayal to this man. Our #1 rule is loyalty. Move on.

...unless of course you want to experience how much loyalty means to us...by all means stick around.

Posted by cammielawson
Alright guys,

Now dont get me wrong, his actions during this time felt a little distant, like he was contemplative or hurt.. So I tried to talk to him about how he's being awfully affectionate to which he completely denied everything and got cold again.. He's visiting me every day and still says he loves me; but will sometimes say things with such a cruel sharp tone, I almost cry. Then other times be soft and sweet as he used to be.

I know gaining his trust might be impossible, but Im willing to go through his moods with him so long as he's not just stringing me along to cause me as much pain as he feels I deserve.

He is not over you yet but has not forgiven you for lying to him and is hence stinging you by saying things in a cruel tone.Don't ask him questions about why he is being affectionate etc.Essentially don't try to figure him out,just play along.

Don't try too hard/come across as desperate to regain his trust.

Prove you are trustworthy by being yourself ,answering any questions he asks with complete honesty and never playing games with him.

Give it time.

Hang in there.

Good luck.

Posted by Scorpvenus

Posted by cammielawson
Alright guys,

Now dont get me wrong, his actions during this time felt a little distant, like he was contemplative or hurt.. So I tried to talk to him about how he's being awfully affectionate to which he completely denied everything and got cold again.. He's visiting me every day and still says he loves me; but will sometimes say things with such a cruel sharp tone, I almost cry. Then other times be soft and sweet as he used to be.

I know gaining his trust might be impossible, but Im willing to go through his moods with him so long as he's not just stringing me along to cause me as much pain as he feels I deserve.

He is not over you yet but has not forgiven you for lying to him and is hence stinging you by saying things in a cruel tone.Don't ask him questions about why he is being affectionate etc.Essentially don't try to figure him out,just play along.

Don't try too hard/come across as desperate to regain his trust.

Prove you are trustworthy by being yourself ,answering any questions he asks with complete honesty and never playing games with him.

Give it time.

Hang in there.

Good luck.

click to expand

Yes any time I get a bit overemotional or clingy, I can feel him retract. Other than that If Im patient (which for an aries is tough)
Its fine. He's much more receptive if I just pretend nothing is bothering me either..

My only question is when he is in cold and detached-mode, do I mirror him to keep respect to him, or?

Posted by ss3624

Posted by cammielawson
I feel like if it was the point of no return he would have been ice cold and disappeared completely by now.
I understand the risks, but I am willing to take the time to earn his trust back. Im taking this all at his speed and being as open as I possibly can be save a 24 hr surveillance. I am also trying to be respectful of him as far as space goes.

If it is only more heartache for him I will let it cool off but as an aries woman, I will not give up; only know when I should move on. And so long as what he says is true, which upon reflection has always been gold, then I will endure.


He's worth it.

C'est la vie
if not.

Yes if we scorpio don't want you and you have hurt us badly we become cold and detached. I think he is not done. He is hurting and you will have to take his moodiness. One moment he will be trying to be nice but next moment as soon as your betrayal thoughts come to his mind he will detach. But just stick by him and show him he can trust you. He is not going anywhere. Everyone make mistake and it's not the end of life. If its worth it dont give up. But don't take his bad behavior. If he doesn't treat you right don't stick around. We scorpio have the tendency to hurt people( by being cold, detached or sarcastic) if we are hurting but it's only in the beginning. Rest you know what's right and wrong for you. Good luck.

click to expand

Oh my gooodness why does it have to hurt so much when he is cold?! Hes definitely still treating me good, still as attentive and caring. Just more subdued. Again sometimes he's genuinely affectionate and there and other times he feels like it was all fake and he gets stuck in the muck. I know he's just hurting alot, I just hope he isn't still trying to save face to spare my feelings.

Dishonesty and lying, white or black, are forms of domestic violence of another kind.

Posted by cammielawson

Posted by Scorpvenus

Posted by cammielawson
Alright guys,

Now dont get me wrong, his actions during this time felt a little distant, like he was contemplative or hurt.. So I tried to talk to him about how he's being awfully affectionate to which he completely denied everything and got cold again.. He's visiting me every day and still says he loves me; but will sometimes say things with such a cruel sharp tone, I almost cry. Then other times be soft and sweet as he used to be.

I know gaining his trust might be impossible, but Im willing to go through his moods with him so long as he's not just stringing me along to cause me as much pain as he feels I deserve.

He is not over you yet but has not forgiven you for lying to him and is hence stinging you by saying things in a cruel tone.Don't ask him questions about why he is being affectionate etc.Essentially don't try to figure him out,just play along.

Don't try too hard/come across as desperate to regain his trust.

Prove you are trustworthy by being yourself ,answering any questions he asks with complete honesty and never playing games with him.

Give it time.

Hang in there.

Good luck.

Yes any time I get a bit overemotional or clingy, I can feel him retract. Other than that If Im patient (which for an aries is tough)
Its fine. He's much more receptive if I just pretend nothing is bothering me either..

My only question is when he is in cold and detached-mode, do I mirror him to keep respect to him, or?

click to expand

When he is cold and detached,ask him if he needs to be by himself for a while.

If he says yes,leave him alone and let him come back to you when he feels like it.

That's it.

Posted by MrFirebird
Dishonesty and lying, white or black, are forms of domestic violence of another kind.

Profound,yet true.

Posted by Impulsv
Exactly what did u lie about? Makes a big difference if you lied to.hide meeting with another man be it a Freind or not makes a big difference. We are good at seeing human nature n if u lied because wanted to avoid hurt or white lie is different n we can be more forgiving because we can see right through the intent. But if it was to hide deceptive behavior don't think he'll get over it. He's trying because he cares but the though will always be in the back UR not trustworthy is this even worth it. U know UR lie but some lies we can forgive because we understand human nature to some extent but not others.

I lied about meeting with a guy friend. Who is an ex. It was a show and I hardly spent any actual time next to talking to or near said ex. But I lied. So my current boyfriend is convinced that I wanted to start dating the ex again. I honestly did not. My scorpio is very possessive and does not allow me to talk to my guy friends, well he allows it but gives me a very hard time when i do chat with them. So i thought it would be better to just not tell him. BIG mistake. The deception just made it that much worse and made him feel cheated on. I honestly had friendly intention. I do love him and have bended quite a bit to calm his jealousies; but since this lie he has been "hesitant" as he says.

Posted by seraph
-our. You don't need to be with someone who can't handle pain and difficulty with aplomb. Someone who tags along *just* to stick the knife in deeper before he turns tail for good has issues that are on par with your lying. If someone can't make a clean, open and honest break, you're better off making your mistakes with someone else.

At this point, through, you can't know. But why assume the worst? There still *are* genuine feelings there (they don't just disappear overnight), and he's chosen to still show you affection. So assume that he's *not* just playing with you in this manner describe in the foregoing. Allow him to work through and process what happened in his own way. You just remain understanding and sensitive to the manner on which he needs to do it. Don't force it. Allow the chips to fall where they will. By the looks of it, he's making every effort to help the process along.

Thank you! :]

Yes at this point Im sure hes not trying to be vengeful. He just has a "hesitation" I dont completely understand that as an aries (impatient, headfirst, moving at lightspeed) But am trying to be respectful of his need to take the time to heal. another worry is that he is trying to distance himself to a point of breakup.. which I suppose would not be so bad. Except I would not mind being friends and was ready, until he made that first move. Overall Id prefer to stay together, but would rather a friendship to complete severance.

Posted by tiziani
To a Scorpio it would seem there's no so much of a distinction between forgiveness and vengeance, under the right circumstances.

If you want to stick around for those circumstances to manifest themselves, then by all means. Otherwise I'd move on and save myself the abuse.

oooooh the punishment for treachery...

they want to make sure you never do it again.

Posted by CreepyPants

Posted by tiziani
To a Scorpio it would seem there's no so much of a distinction between forgiveness and vengeance, under the right circumstances.

If you want to stick around for those circumstances to manifest themselves, then by all means. Otherwise I'd move on and save myself the abuse.

oooooh the punishment for treachery...

they want to make sure you never do it again.

click to expand

and that, I won't :p