PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Mental Asylum of Utter Madness- 24/7 Stinger Home! (Page 59)
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Posted by ScorpioStarGazer
Sigh...it just sucks because we were getting along so well. Ah well. Moving on...
Just saw this. Ignore my previous post. The question is now irrelevant.
Posted by ScorpioStarGazer
Tell him what? That I was worried I was starting to like him too much? I don't know. I'm afraid of getting too close to someone and while we were still in the very early days of dating, I felt like I was getting too attached. We were practically seeing each other every day and I'm not used to that. I guess I threw it out there to kind of see what he would say, see how he felt and if we were on the same page is all before I got too far in and end up getting hurt I guess we weren't on the same page. Better to find out now than later on. I don't know...this dating is stressful and I probably make it more stressful than it needs to be. I get attached way too quickly every time and I hate that! I'm obviously doing something wrong or either I just date crappy men because it happens more often than not. Anyway, I think I'm gonna give up dating for awhile and go back under my rock.
I think Elly's right in the sense that you are being too hard on yourself. This isn't really about "wrong" or right", but just being more clear about your intentions so you can get the result you hope to achieve.
Yes, my question was asking why you felt the need to tell him that you like him so much (more so in the way that t you did) and your reply is what I thinking was the reason behind that conversation. I guess the issue I see with the whole convo is rather than own what you were feeling and just putting it out there to stand alone, you did it to test him. What I mean by "test" is, rather than simply say "I really like you and enjoy the time we spend together. I am wondering if we are on the same page" and build from there, you threw out something else, which in all fairness made him respond I think in a way I would as well.
I get it, when he said "don't do that. way too soon" it created an awkward dynamic given how much time you were spending together. However, I don't think his response was all that confusing given that stage you're in, despite the fact that you two spend so much time together. Spending everyday together does not mean the same for you or me as it would for another, and it seems like your confusion regarding his response ("don't do that. way too soon"...) suggest that you thought it did.
My point is, the intention behind you starting this conversation was to see where you two were in terms of being on the same page. That's a good thing, however you did so in a way that led to a bit of confusion and miscommunication and that is not entirely his fault.
StarGazer,
As for getting attach too quickly. I think it's a quality that makes you the person you are and rather than trying to change it, or beat yourself up for being this way, simply learn to work with it. I would have suggested that you don't share your concerns so soon as you did with someone you're getting to know, in the way that you did. There is nothing wrong with clarifying things, to ensure you're on the same page. Just keep the inner working of how you're processing your feelings to yourself or with a friend (for now). Not because it's anything that you should be embarrassed or ashamed of, simply because it's heavy stuff. Stuff that has a history that only you (and the assistance of a loved one if necessary) can really work through. A person that is getting to know you doesn't care about all of that to be quite frank. Why should they? There is no investment at this stage.
Knowing that you struggle with getting too attached is what led you to ask the conversation that you had. That's the inner/emotional stuff you figure out. The emotions behind the question doesn't need to be shared with someone that doesn't fully know who you are (at this stage). It no different from sharing your whole life story on the first date, you wouldn't do it right? Not because you're ashamed or embarrassed about your life. Simply, there is a process to building intimacy with someone. This is no different imo.
As for getting attach too quickly. I think it's a quality that makes you the person you are and rather than trying to change it, or beat yourself up for being this way, simply learn to work with it. I would have suggested that you don't share your concerns so soon as you did with someone you're getting to know, in the way that you did. There is nothing wrong with clarifying things, to ensure you're on the same page. Just keep the inner working of how you're processing your feelings to yourself or with a friend (for now). Not because it's anything that you should be embarrassed or ashamed of, simply because it's heavy stuff. Stuff that has a history that only you (and the assistance of a loved one if necessary) can really work through. A person that is getting to know you doesn't care about all of that to be quite frank. Why should they? There is no investment at this stage.
Knowing that you struggle with getting too attached is what led you to ask the conversation that you had. That's the inner/emotional stuff you figure out. The emotions behind the question doesn't need to be shared with someone that doesn't fully know who you are (at this stage). It no different from sharing your whole life story on the first date, you wouldn't do it right? Not because you're ashamed or embarrassed about your life. Simply, there is a process to building intimacy with someone. This is no different imo.
Is it the impending full moon?....
Posted by EllygantMy bff just bought a condo downtown and wants me to move down and live in her second bedroom.
One of my friends offered for me to move in with her in October, she has a perfect place, in the city, in a neighborhood that I adore. I'm 98% certain I'm going to accept. I just need to sit down with her in person and talk out expectations, finances etc before I agree totally. That would give me the summer with my dad and a few months to save and be well prepared and organized.
Living in the city has been a dream of mine for years. I've never lived independant of parent or significant other either, so I feel like I need to take this step to know I can. She approached me as well and the timing fits.
I really want this. Probably with more clarity or focus than I've wanted anything for a few years.
I'm also entertaining the idea.
I can't help but laugh at people, it's becoming inappropriate again. Hopefully I can control it a bit better but it's hard to resist the sudden impulse laugh. I actually upset someone, called them back and they thought I was someone else, someone different calling back. Nothing good really comes from this streak.
Posted by EllygantPosted by ScorpioStarGazerYour heart is just way too big and way too grand to be spent on someone who cannot reciprocate any of the love you deserve.
It may be a bad idea, but I've still been seeing the Leo. I just completely understand now that it will never be anymore than just sex between us and I'm totally ok with that. Sure I'd love more, but it's not gonna happen. I feel bad for him. He's still hung up on his ex. I've tried asking him if there was no way of winning her back? He's adamant that there isn't. I can see the pain in his eyes when he speaks of her. Breaks my heart....I guess because I know how it feels. I wish there was something I could do to help him win back his love. Or at the very least I hope he can find someone who makes him happy. I've grown to care about him and only want him to find happiness, even if it's not with me.
click to expand
This.
*like*
*f*ck off don't talk to me mood*
This fucking crab..
He's been low key giving me shit ever since I deleted him off Skype. I've just been emailing him whenever I have a work related question and he's made several comments about "this would be easier over skype", blah blah.
So I finally tell him - fine and add him back.
And now he won't accept the request. >😢
He's been low key giving me shit ever since I deleted him off Skype. I've just been emailing him whenever I have a work related question and he's made several comments about "this would be easier over skype", blah blah.
So I finally tell him - fine and add him back.
And now he won't accept the request. >😢
Posted by EllygantWear a tie, it does half the job for you.Posted by GetMistedYeah. The colder I am the more positively responsive they are. The things I could have taught early 20's Elly knowing what I know now. lol.Posted by Ellygantpussy power
I know it's a totally lame complaint but being single is exhausting. When I started my last job I was still with the ex so even though a lot of young single people worked there everyone stayed away no matter what.
Being single though people try to push boundaries every time I set and reaffirm them. It's kind of annoying. Like stop.
One plus, one of the owners at work gave me free reign to be as harsh as necessary with the younger male employees. He says they listen to me and it makes his job easier. Lmao.click to expand
Posted by ScorpioStarGazerIt's selfish. I would say cowardice but it's mostly selfish and humans are selfish creatures. Blame the right person and absolve yourself the guilt, nobody will treat you better than you until they worship, fear or respect you. Wear the absolution as your armor, you're better than them.
I don't understand why so many guys feel the need to tiptoe around my feelings. When things are over between us they can never be upfront about it. They always just disappear. Fade away. When confronted they tell me the same old line..."I just didn't want to hurt you." Like I'm some delicate flower or something...so fragile. It really pisses me off because I have been through a lot and my feelings don't get hurt easily. I'm actually pretty tough. I've been through a cancer scare, I've gone completely blind in one eye and had to get iv treatments to get my sight back, I lived through my cousin committing suicide by blowing his brains out, I watched as a construction worker fell to his death when I was 11 and at my grandmothers funeral I had my aunt tell me to my face what a horrible granddaughter I was and how I should have been there more before she passed...which continues to eat away at me. So no, being upfront with me isn't going to hurt me. I'm not going to break. The silence and fading away hurts more and is disrespectful. I'd never do that to someone. I just don't understand why it can't be reciprocated? Sigh...just ranting. ?
I don't do drunks. I keep forgetting that rule of mine until it is in my face, smelling of booze, slurring and getting stupid.
Went to a guy's house to fix something, he was drunk, his wife was drunk and they were already yelling at each other before I got there. So before I even get to really look at anything, he starts up with me a little, asking if I have the right tools and basically insinuating that I might not know what I'm doing. I don't know why but they start up with me and I don't have the filter or care to back down. He eased off being a pain but the last time I got "smart" with a drunk I had a woman screaming at me as I left her house that she was going to kick my ass.
I really don't do drunks. I've also had my fill of strange men in their underwear. That's a newer one I thankfully haven't had time to get upset about.
Went to a guy's house to fix something, he was drunk, his wife was drunk and they were already yelling at each other before I got there. So before I even get to really look at anything, he starts up with me a little, asking if I have the right tools and basically insinuating that I might not know what I'm doing. I don't know why but they start up with me and I don't have the filter or care to back down. He eased off being a pain but the last time I got "smart" with a drunk I had a woman screaming at me as I left her house that she was going to kick my ass.
I really don't do drunks. I've also had my fill of strange men in their underwear. That's a newer one I thankfully haven't had time to get upset about.
Posted by exo
finally!
So I finally watched this on Sunday and can I just say Margaret Atwood, I love your twisted mind.
I was hooked from the first episode. I watched 10 episodes back to back. I need to read the book.
Posted by exoPosted by PhoenixRisingYAY! 😄Posted by exo
finally!
So I finally watched this on Sunday and can I just say Margaret Atwood, I love your twisted mind.
I was hooked from the first episode. I watched 10 episodes back to back. I need to read the book.
oh, this show is fantastic. can't wait for next season.click to expand
Me either!
Sometimes I forget how amazing scorpios are. This website definitely doesn't help, why do ppl tear us down so much? I think we are those seemingly emotionless mysterious types that people can't relate to so they are just scared of us.
leos are sooooo draining. they drain all your zesty energy and do nothing with it, they literally extract it from your person speck by speck, mulling and scraping every last morsel and callowly sprinkle it on to the floor. Not courteous enough to hold on to it perchance to give back when you need it, not even savvy enough to use it for themselves...just wasteful.
I haven't read a good book in a while. Any recommendations?
Posted by AndalusiaThe more I think about this, the more it pisses me off.
This fucking crab..
He's been low key giving me shit ever since I deleted him off Skype. I've just been emailing him whenever I have a work related question and he's made several comments about "this would be easier over skype", blah blah.
So I finally tell him - fine and add him back.
And now he won't accept the request. >😢
Why you gotta act like a child, 31 year old man?
Posted by Unwording
Non-Scorp: Looks like love is in the air! Do you have a summer fling? 😄
Scorp: What's a "fling"?
*quote worthy*
I'm too lazy to look for my "Scorp Quote of the Day" thread. 😄
Posted by EllygantPosted by PhoenixRisingEarlier this year I read The Opposite of Loneliness by Marina Keegan.
I haven't read a good book in a while. Any recommendations?
She was a very young author who passed away and her family printed the book. Which is a series of her fiction short stories and non fiction autobiographical works. Very beautiful and a bit haunting.click to expand
Hmph. Why did you like it?
I ask everyone this question when they recommend a book.
Posted by EllygantPosted by PhoenixRisingHer perception is intensely poetic. She really weaves words together so I thought about people and experiences in ways I never did before.Posted by EllygantPosted by PhoenixRisingEarlier this year I read The Opposite of Loneliness by Marina Keegan.
I haven't read a good book in a while. Any recommendations?
She was a very young author who passed away and her family printed the book. Which is a series of her fiction short stories and non fiction autobiographical works. Very beautiful and a bit haunting.
Hmph. Why did you like it?
I ask everyone this question when they recommend a book.
I'm very media driven in my personality. It's kind of silly but I'll take key lines from book, TV or movies that really touch me and carry them with me like mile markers in my changing personality. Her book has one of those lines.
Plus I bought the book during a time of feeling extremely alone and constantly lonely. And by finishing it, I really did feel the opposite of loneliness.
You had me at "...I thought about people and experiences in ways I never did before". I like books that help me reflect on life and the choices I've made.
*add to list*
Thanks!
Posted by Ellygant
It's kind of silly but I'll take key lines from book, TV or movies that really touch me and carry them with me like mile markers in my changing personality....
click to expand
I do this too lol.
Now I just need a dark and gritty book as well.....😈.
Posted by MysteriousDreamer
It's too late to turn back though.
That's the Fixed motto.
It doesn't have to be. You can turn back at any time and do not owe anyone an explanation or an apology for doing so.
Posted by EllygantHow far away are you moving? I thought it was just across town. ??
Also today my Dad told me he was really going to miss me when I moved.
Idk how my moon is going to handle Sun, Mercury and Mars transiting it right now. There's just gonna be feels word vomit everywhere. Maybe this is why summer time is always emotional and bizarre for me lol.
Posted by EllygantAww, daddies are the best 🙂Posted by AndalusiaAbout 30/40 from him. He doesn't drive either. I'll still see him at least once a week tho.Posted by EllygantHow far away are you moving? I thought it was just across town. ??
Also today my Dad told me he was really going to miss me when I moved.
Idk how my moon is going to handle Sun, Mercury and Mars transiting it right now. There's just gonna be feels word vomit everywhere. Maybe this is why summer time is always emotional and bizarre for me lol.click to expand
Posted by AndalusiaI want to call him out on it. But a large part of me thinks that's what he was angling for the entire time.Posted by AndalusiaThe more I think about this, the more it pisses me off.
This fucking crab..
He's been low key giving me shit ever since I deleted him off Skype. I've just been emailing him whenever I have a work related question and he's made several comments about "this would be easier over skype", blah blah.
So I finally tell him - fine and add him back.
And now he won't accept the request. >😢
Why you gotta act like a child, 31 year old man?click to expand
Ugh! Why do I care?! I'm bored. I need hobbies.
Also, I've been thinking seriously about quitting my job and moving away.
I feel stagnant and gross and lost.
I feel stagnant and gross and lost.
Posted by EllygantThat sounds so lovely.Posted by AndalusiaJust move here already so we can have weekly cancer moon fests together. Wel'l laugh. We'll cry. We'll give each other inspirational speeches. We'll feel awkward immediately after doing so. We'll drink a bottle of wine and eat baby Gouda together. And that's just the first 18 minutes.Posted by EllygantAww, daddies are the best 🙂Posted by AndalusiaAbout 30/40 from him. He doesn't drive either. I'll still see him at least once a week tho.Posted by EllygantHow far away are you moving? I thought it was just across town. ??
Also today my Dad told me he was really going to miss me when I moved.
Idk how my moon is going to handle Sun, Mercury and Mars transiting it right now. There's just gonna be feels word vomit everywhere. Maybe this is why summer time is always emotional and bizarre for me lol.click to expand
My friend has been trying to get me to move down there for awhile. But (And I know this is fucked up), I'm afraid of doing it and it potentially ruining our friendship. I'm scared that once per get too close either I or they will lose interest and stop liking each other 😢
...so I stole an oatmeal/chocolate chip cookie from our client snack jar....
I need chocolate motivation to write a report....even if it's only a few chips.
I need chocolate motivation to write a report....even if it's only a few chips.
As an aside, I saw this and thought I'd share
@EvilHare
@EvilHare
Posted by EllygantThat's just what usually happens.Posted by AndalusiaWhy do you think that? Are there small things you've noticed about them that you'd feel will be amplified by living with them?Posted by EllygantThat sounds so lovely.Posted by AndalusiaJust move here already so we can have weekly cancer moon fests together. Wel'l laugh. We'll cry. We'll give each other inspirational speeches. We'll feel awkward immediately after doing so. We'll drink a bottle of wine and eat baby Gouda together. And that's just the first 18 minutes.Posted by EllygantAww, daddies are the best 🙂Posted by AndalusiaAbout 30/40 from him. He doesn't drive either. I'll still see him at least once a week tho.Posted by EllygantHow far away are you moving? I thought it was just across town. ??
Also today my Dad told me he was really going to miss me when I moved.
Idk how my moon is going to handle Sun, Mercury and Mars transiting it right now. There's just gonna be feels word vomit everywhere. Maybe this is why summer time is always emotional and bizarre for me lol.
My friend has been trying to get me to move down there for awhile. But (And I know this is fucked up), I'm afraid of doing it and it potentially ruining our friendship. I'm scared that once per get too close either I or they will lose interest and stop liking each other 😢click to expand
Idk. I'm being weird and whiney.
Posted by GetMistedAre you still in Arkansas? I can't. You're from near (if not the same) place as my ex.Posted by AndalusiaMove in with me!
Also, I've been thinking seriously about quitting my job and moving away.
I feel stagnant and gross and lost.click to expand
Posted by EllygantBut i enjoy you too much for you to really know me. Cause then you might not like me which might cause me to not like myself 😭Posted by AndalusiaMove to Atlanta and we can be dynamic and fabulous and lost together lol.
Also, I've been thinking seriously about quitting my job and moving away.
I feel stagnant and gross and lost.click to expand
Posted by PhoenixRisingFuck 'em. Clients may or may not pay.
...so I stole an oatmeal/chocolate chip cookie from our client snack jar....
I need chocolate motivation to write a report....even if it's only a few chips.
You?
You earned that shit.
Posted by AndalusiaI just realized this is the excuse of every fuck boi ever... we really do attract what we put out...Posted by EllygantBut i enjoy you too much for you to really know me. Cause then you might not like me which might cause me to not like myself 😭Posted by AndalusiaMove to Atlanta and we can be dynamic and fabulous and lost together lol.
Also, I've been thinking seriously about quitting my job and moving away.
I feel stagnant and gross and lost.click to expand
Oh fuck me.
??
I finally, finally did what my Taurus partner has been asking me to do for the last year: I fucking just trusted him. And I meant it.
You know what I got in return? I got a 1 hour and 14 minute phone conversation with a man who does NOT like to talk on the phone. At all, ever. In fact, what I got was a no-holds-barred, soul-bearing tell-all about his visit with distant relatives. I was the first person he called when he got home and I know in my heart I was the only person he wanted to talk to.
I could hear in his voice how much he appreciated the freedom he felt in knowing that I trusted him, finally, for once ever.
As a Scorpio who knows and lives and breathes the darker side of humanity, I don't even trust myself sometimes. So this was HUGE.
You know what I got in return? I got a 1 hour and 14 minute phone conversation with a man who does NOT like to talk on the phone. At all, ever. In fact, what I got was a no-holds-barred, soul-bearing tell-all about his visit with distant relatives. I was the first person he called when he got home and I know in my heart I was the only person he wanted to talk to.
I could hear in his voice how much he appreciated the freedom he felt in knowing that I trusted him, finally, for once ever.
As a Scorpio who knows and lives and breathes the darker side of humanity, I don't even trust myself sometimes. So this was HUGE.
I'm always the crazy one in my relationships-fuck me
I love too hard and too damn fast.
Lmao
I love too hard and too damn fast.
Lmao
Posted by Unwording
How do you respond to praise/gratitude/compliments?
Praise/compliments, ignore it.
Gratitude, very brief acknowledgement. If the person goes on and on, I switch back to ignoring them.
Posted by MysteriousDreamer
Wth is wrong with the men I meet? Maybe it's me and I just give off a bad vibe. This is the second Pisces man I've met...first one lied about his name and age and now this one... ?
Guy: How about come to my hotel after work and let's chat in person. No strings attached.
Guy: you coming?
Me: if you were a female and you had met some guy online whom you've never met in person yet, would you meet them at their hotel room?
Guy: yes
Me: well I'm not that type of girl. Sorry
Guy: my dad would have taught me that a guy who works for the federal government with a secret clearance isn't going to do anything dumb.
Me: well my dad taught me that if a guy can't meet you for a proper date then he isn't worth you time.
Him: ok well I thought chatting in person here would be safe and fun. We can meet at target and shop together.
Me: fun because you were hoping to get in my pants?
Him: silence
Then he sends me like 3 texts in a row trying to explain himself. The bad taste is already in my mouth though. I'm convinced decent guys just don't exist in the online world. Why do I even bother? Just figured it would be a good way to get my mind off the Leo.
Today I woke up and yet again told myself I need to really work on being more patient with other people. Then I read this and think..."nope....I'm not the one".
He would have been blocked after I read "hotel".
I will admit, I still need to work on my block trigger finger.
StarGazer,
there is a mixed bag whether its online or in the real world. Just try to be patient with the process.
there is a mixed bag whether its online or in the real world. Just try to be patient with the process.
You know I'm beginning to think it's impossible to not annoy a Scorpio xD
Posted by Ellygant
My life is nothing like what I thought it'd be at this point. I know that happens to most people and it'll all be ok. I know.
But my dad will probably never be there to see me if I get married.
Doctor was awful today. I just want someone to hold me and rub my hair while I cry and tell me it's ok. I want to not be alone tonight. Even all my friends are busy and working.
And my phone has been blowing up with idiots trying to crowd me and pester me. No one respecting my space or me blatantly asking to not be bothered. Friends who said they were ok with being friends who I now have to block because they used friendship as a plot to try and bang me.
Let thing I want today is some fucking dick pic in my Snapchat inbox at the hospital disgusting selfish prick. I just want to punch things. Then cry. Then eat cake.
*binge watching Wentworth*
Posted by NotYourAverageAquariusI often find Aquas and Scorps just speak a different language.
You know I'm beginning to think it's impossible to not annoy a Scorpio xD
Hello btw 🙂. Haven't seen you post in a while.
Jesus Christ these threads....
*disengage mode*
*disengage mode*
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