My bf's scorpio best friend wants me..help!

something technical was messed up with the last thread so I deleted it..anyways, I'm on a computer and not an iPhone now so I can actually type what the problem is, so here goes:

I'm dating a Cancer (I'm a Virgo, Aries rising...but consider myself Leo according to sidereal astrology) and his best friend is a Scorp. I met the two of them in February and I've been dating my bf for less than a month. Things have gotten kind of awkward with his best friend, because it seems like he's trying to steal me from my bf or something, it's weird. I didn't really notice it until recently, when all of their friends started approaching me and telling me they think he's being inappropriate and stuff. So here's what's happened:

He's always facebook chatting me, and he'll show up at the house I live at (my roommates are his & my bf's mutual friends too) all the time, they said he never used to come over this much until I moved there. He's done tons of other things, but here's the most recent. He's always inviting himself along to dinner and stuff with me and my bf, I don't know how he can't see he's the 3rd wheel.. but we went to see Harry Potter at midnight, and even though it was my idea to go.. he wanted me to come with him shopping while my bf waited in line. then when we got into the theatre he tried to sit in between us. then the next day, he imed me and said "do you wanna do lunch" and i was like sure...when he showed up at my house he had on a button down shirt and he NEVER dresses up like that, he's always wearing t-shirts.. needless to say I invited my roommate to come with me so it wasn't just us. he wanted to get lunch and then walk down by the river, something you'd do if you were like.. dating someone. When we went on a camping trip he got really drunk and was like giving me a neck massage..

he's always making jokes about me cheating on my bf with him.. like one time we were hanging out and my bf called him and asked what was up and he said he was hanging out with me and my bf was like oh what are you guys doing? and he said "well we went on a date.. and she kissed me" jokingly, but still

luckily my boyfriend is pretty laid back but recently he's told me "normally i'm not jealous or anything like that but it's really starting to annoy me"

I know what I've written here sounds petty and stuff but I've left out lots of other things he's done. I don't know what I should do because I really like him as a friend, but I'm afraid to confront him or even

Dang that sucks

Posted by roxyfalcon2006

he's always making jokes about me cheating on my bf with him.. like one time we were hanging out and my bf called him and asked what was up and he said he was hanging out with me and my bf was like oh what are you guys doing? and he said "well we went on a date.. and she kissed me" jokingly, but still

thats how it started for me...

i was seeing a pisces and his scorpio best friend had the hots for me. i was to aloof and naive (not like you) to see the signs. i just thought he was being friendly. i mean why would he go after a girl his friend likes? little by little. i had a feeling pisces knew what was going on and he told me one day "promise me you wont sleep with any of my friends." i was trying to think, what would make him say that. the scorp was never obvious. ever. so he wasnt on my radar.

one day, the scorp texted me. howd he get my number. he swiped it from the pisces phone. texting, calling, and it still didnt dawn on me that he wanted something. i can be so stupid and blind sometimes. then he showed up at my house. rest is history.

i agree with exo. it may be a ego thing to win you away from his friend. i put myself in the middle of their friendship. they compete for my affection years later.

few things i noticed about my scorp was that he knew exactly when to make his move. he knew i wouldnt say no.

if u want this to stop, youd better speak up.

the scorp in question probably intimidates the hell out of your cancer bf 2. which is why he got away with saying something that slick. if it were someone he respected, he wouldnt have said that.

as a virgo, you probably dig the attention. you feel the attraction. a part of you likes it. so his plan is working, imo. if it werent, you wouldnt be on here telling us. youve entertained the possibility in your mind and the scorp knows it.

has the cancer even said anything to the scorp? not to offend, your cancer bf but if he was bout it, he woulda checked the scorp from jump street. what do u mean luckily? lol. for real? cancer better wake up and smell the folgers and stop feeling annoyed. please, cancer bf.

i would also state that, this had probably happened b4 with another girl.

i also agree with exo, that your throwing signs back.

Posted by everevolvingepithet
"has the cancer even said anything to the scorp? not to offend, your cancer bf but if he was bout it, he woulda checked the scorp from jump street. what do u mean luckily? lol. for real? cancer better wake up and smell the folgers and stop feeling annoyed. please, cancer bf. "
Throwing star signs out of the window for a sec, men are on top of this from the get go usually.

i was only referring to star to differentiate who from who....

but dudes know whats up...but cancer bf aint bout it.

Posted by exoskeleton
all good points. i think any woman would secretly like the attention in that situation, but it really does come down to how you respond to it.

roxy, are you maybe reluctant to confront the scorp because he could laugh and say he didn't mean anything by it and things will be weird between you? i'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt here, lol.

yeah the scorp could turn it all around on you and make you feel stupid....either way hes in your head

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by DMV

Posted by exoskeleton
all good points. i think any woman would secretly like the attention in that situation, but it really does come down to how you respond to it.

roxy, are you maybe reluctant to confront the scorp because he could laugh and say he didn't mean anything by it and things will be weird between you? i'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt here, lol.

yeah the scorp could turn it all around on you and make you feel stupid....either way hes in your head

You love scorpios don't you ? lol

click to expand

i dont hate them 😉

cant u just say fikc off to him? its definitely what exoskeleton said youre giving him a message allowing him to do waht he is doing, get a grip girl

Posted by everevolvingepithet
You sometimes remind me of that Chris Rock sketch where the woman goes "he got weed ! he got weed !" with the cops when it comes to these arachnids.
Just wanted to throw that one out there.🙂

?

this thread is still messed up and i can't see what i've written but obviously you all can... I didn't get to finish what I was writing last night though.. I just realized this so I haven't had an opportunity to say anything to him..I mean sure i noticed the comments and stuff but he has a tendency to pick at and constantly bother my cancer bf about everything imaginable so I thought I was just another thing to bug him about.. but now I see that it's different. I'm scared to say something because knowing Scorpios he has a huge ego (this one absolutely does) and if I turn him down he'll be pissed forever. A year ago I kinda dated a scorpio and when I ended things he hated me. My bf is afraid to talk to him too because he's really shy. i'm thinking of maybe having a 3rd party talk to him, like saying they've noticed from afar... NOT that we've noticed it because then it will be soooo awkward. I'm gone all week so I told my bf they need to hang out and have some male bonding time without me. Last night they got drunk together and my bf was gonna try to see what was bothering the scorpio because he's been a lot "snarlier than usual". Ugh I know it makes sense to say something to him, but this guy would be hurt and I think he'd feel like all his friends turned on him (they're all mad at him and talking about it.. I don't think he knows though).

As for screwing the scorpio and getting it over with...no way in hell. I am NOT attracted to him neither physically or his personality at all. I like him as a friend but there's no shred of attraction there.

The last thing I'm worried about is my bf told me not to drink around him because he thinks he'd take advantage of me...not that I would drink around him anyways!

Posted by DMV
the scorp in question probably intimidates the hell out of your cancer bf 2. which is why he got away with saying something that slick. if it were someone he respected, he wouldnt have said that.

as a virgo, you probably dig the attention. you feel the attraction. a part of you likes it. so his plan is working, imo. if it werent, you wouldnt be on here telling us. youve entertained the possibility in your mind and the scorp knows it.

has the cancer even said anything to the scorp? not to offend, your cancer bf but if he was bout it, he woulda checked the scorp from jump street. what do u mean luckily? lol. for real? cancer better wake up and smell the folgers and stop feeling annoyed. please, cancer bf.

i would also state that, this had probably happened b4 with another girl.

i also agree with exo, that your throwing signs back.

and yeah you're right...I don't like HIM liking me but in some small way...you know how it kind of feels good when someone flirts with you in front of your significant other? like it's proving to them that you're of value because someone else likes you too? It's kind of like that..especially since my cancer got drunk and was talking about the chick from the band garbage and how he liked her and stuff...and about all these girls who have gone after him but he didn't like them- I know it's different but he was still OBVIOUSLY trying to make me jealous. I learned with my last bf (a gemini) that showing jealousy is not cool and only gives the other side more power over you so I just hold the jealousy in...but that leo in me wanted to tear some bitch's head off!! haha

Posted by exoskeleton
all good points. i think any woman would secretly like the attention in that situation, but it really does come down to how you respond to it.
.
roxy, are you maybe reluctant to confront the scorp because he could laugh and say he didn't mean anything by it and things will be weird between you? i'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt here, lol.

of course i liked the attention in the beginning, but it's gotten to the point where it's no longer flattering and it's just painful to watch. I really feel kind of sad for the scorpio as much of a git he's being. all his friends are talking about it and i think they've kind of isolated him because they're mad at some other stuff he did when we were camping.. so he's just really lonely and I've been a friend to him. It's not that I'm scared he'll laugh in my face and make me look like an idiot if I confront him, I just think I'll really HURT him if I said anything, especially if this is just his personality and he didn't mean to be doing all these things and then it's just always awkward between us. Apparently a long time ago he went after some girl my bf kind of dated but nothing came out of it and when my bf came back from out of town, she put moves on him in front of the scorpio and he had this look on his face...and ever since then he's been in some kind of silent competition with the cancer. My boyfriend is one of the shyest, sweetest people I've ever met, and he hates confrontation just as much as I do. Ugh!

What would be a good way to turn a scorpio off? Without having to confront him? I've been talking about my boyfriend a lot just to give him the hint.. and stuff like that, maybe that will help. I also blocked him on facebook chat so he can't invite me to do things and stuff like that.

Posted by exoskeleton
er. why is your boyfriend even still friends with this dude? he may be shy/passive, but if he's worried that the scorp would actually take advantage of you, he should have him cut him off a while ago.

and you don't have to be mean to tell him to back off. you have a boyfriend who is his best friend, lol. that's enough. if it's not then fuck him.

ehhhh I don't know. it's a small town and they're all a big circle of friends. he can't just *not* be friends with this one guy because he'd always see him anyways. I don't think he thinks he'd like, try something with me, but that he'd SAY we did something and I wouldn't remember (because I've been STUPID before and canadian booze is a lot stronger than american and I blacked out twice with them. I need to stop drinking with big guys, I try to keep up and end up drinking too much) but anyways I've stopped drinking altogether after that so I won't be drinking with him either way

ok well i'm from the suburbs and have different friend circles- like high school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, work friends.. you know what i mean? they're all all of the above to each other.. they've known each other for a lonnnngg time and i don't think they could picture themselves not being friends with each other because it would throw the whole thing out of balance. I'm just gonna ignore him for a while and he and my bf are gonna be together without me all this week so hopefully they'll re-establish they're friendship and then no one has to be awkward.

their not they're* ugh i hate when people do that

Posted by exoskeleton
"What would be a good way to turn a scorpio off? Without having to confront him?"

sorry, i have no 'how to lose a scorp in 10 days' advice for this situation, lol. you know what you have to do.

haha okay good point. like i said I'm just gonna ignore him for a while and let them chill all week and see what happens.

i really didn't think ignoring him would imply that kind of reaction. I know I'm being spineless by not confronting him about it, but I just really really really hate having those awkward conversations and the last time I told a scorpio to back off it ended REALLY badly. What if I got a friend to say that they've noticed how he's been acting and needs to back off? That way it doesn't make things awkward with him and my bf and his ego won't be hurt?

virgos like for other people to make the first moves....then they have denialbility if things go wrong. less of a chance with getting egg on their face...shyness if you will. so this will continue until the scorp speaks up, cause cancer bf aint going to get off his butt. hence all the two pages of excuses she gives us and the runaround...small town this, friends that...girl please.

shes going to wait to see what happens.

if u were indeed a leo, you would have RAWR'd all over him day one.

Posted by DMV
virgos like for other people to make the first moves....then they have denialbility if things go wrong. less of a chance with getting egg on their face...shyness if you will. so this will continue until the scorp speaks up, cause cancer bf aint going to get off his butt. hence all the two pages of excuses she gives us and the runaround...small town this, friends that...girl please.

shes going to wait to see what happens.

if u were indeed a leo, you would have RAWR'd all over him day one.

yeah.. very true. In a lot of ways I am still a virgo when it comes to SOME shyness but in .most other ways I'm definitely a leo. I've always shot him down everytime he's made jokes like that or tried anything, but he could have mistaken that as flirting back in a hard-to-get way or something. When it comes to being a virgo though.. pretty much the only similarities I have with virgo is overanalyzing EVERYTHING and hating confrontation. I'm not "shy" by any means but when it comes to confrontation I'm totally awkward and shy. But i'm not organized.. my room is always messy, I don't criticize people (although I do notice things but keep them to myself). Reading the two descriptions of Leo and Virgo side-by-side though, I am most definitely more of a Leo.

Posted by DMV

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by DMV

Posted by exoskeleton
all good points. i think any woman would secretly like the attention in that situation, but it really does come down to how you respond to it.

roxy, are you maybe reluctant to confront the scorp because he could laugh and say he didn't mean anything by it and things will be weird between you? i'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt here, lol.

yeah the scorp could turn it all around on you and make you feel stupid....either way hes in your head

You love scorpios don't you ? lol

i dont hate them 😉

click to expand

admit it dmv, you just put up with them because you dig their gravy and thats all 😉

Posted by roxyfalcon2006
i really didn't think ignoring him would imply that kind of reaction. I know I'm being spineless by not confronting him about it, but I just really really really hate having those awkward conversations and the last time I told a scorpio to back off it ended REALLY badly. What if I got a friend to say that they've noticed how he's been acting and needs to back off? That way it doesn't make things awkward with him and my bf and his ego won't be hurt?

I understand why you are scared. In a sense it's not really your problem. Your boyfriend should be handling this. You can tell him to go away as much as possible but if he still friends with your boyfriend he's not going to go anywhere. Like I told you with the story of my scorp and leo eventually he told the leo to back off, and we were able to leave that drama behind us but it took a bit. He didn't stop being his friend either he just became a bit distant with him. It worked out.

Posted by Sagittarius89

Posted by DMV

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by DMV

Posted by exoskeleton
all good points. i think any woman would secretly like the attention in that situation, but it really does come down to how you respond to it.

roxy, are you maybe reluctant to confront the scorp because he could laugh and say he didn't mean anything by it and things will be weird between you? i'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt here, lol.

yeah the scorp could turn it all around on you and make you feel stupid....either way hes in your head

You love scorpios don't you ? lol

i dont hate them 😉

admit it dmv, you just put up with them because you dig their gravy and thats all 😉

click to expand

?

Posted by thxbutnothx

The cancer - timid coward
The scorp - no integrity bully
You - timid attention whore

You three belong together

n a nutshell

Are you sure it hasn't got more to do with the Bf than with you..and that he's not truly just interested in a friendship with you?

I'm pretty quick to make silly jokes about my friends to their partners, especially if it's on the phone because they can't see you sniggering. I've even done it to my girlfriends...told their boyfriends that we did something or she did something with someone else...but these people KNOW me so know I'm just being a clown.

If I was really interested in a friendship with someone I would probably want to do things alone with them to see how we got on. So in my head lunch and a walk would make sense and if the person had a partner I'd just assume that the partner knew what was going on...or I might invite their partner too but if I was already best friends with them then I wouldn't really need time to get to know them... IF my intentions were wrong I would have gone a little weird at the friend coming along and probably try to find a way out of it and make another time where no one else would be there. I just connect better with people when it's one on one rather than a group setting.

If I was purposely trying to annoy my friend I would sit inbetween them at the movies..probably...but that is kinda going too far in a stirring sense. If I felt my friend had bad intentions and I liked their new partner as a friend then I may try to secretly intervene...and I would do that by sitting inbetween them.

I don't know..I'm not saying you've gotten it wrong but just that maybe it's not totally the way it feels? It's just for me I know people think I like them when I don't, I just want to be their friend, and I also know some scorpios can even be accused of this just by looking at people lol.

Sorry, I know I've based this all on myself and the way I act but it was the only way I could get my thoughts out lol.

As for not bringing it up with him because you don't like confrontation...it's not really confrontation, it's setting boundaries. No matter what's going on it's making you and your bf uncomfortable so someone has to set a line...and considering it seems to be based around you, it's probably up to you to set it. If his other friends are picking up that something is wrong then it's time to do something. You can't expect a 3rd party to fix it for you because A.It could end up becoming like chinese whispers and make everything worse and B. It's not their problem or relationship.

Typicalscorpio that exactly why I dont want to confront him about it and create a super awkward situation if I'm wrong. I didn't really notice that much until all his friends started approaching me about it so now it's started to bug me. My bf was supposedly gonna try to talk to him last night while they were drinking together but he said he decided not to say anything.

Oh, I forgot to mention something important.. He has a history of going after all his friends' exes..

Exes are different though, I imagine you wouldn't have to worry about that right now 😛

I still think it's a good idea to talk to him about it. If you didn't notice it before his friends started commenting then it might be innocent. Maybe he finds you attractive yet just wants a friendship? That would send off funny signals I'd imagine.

I think you should still talk to him about it simply because everyone is talking about him behind his back. I think I saw you say that you also didn't want to hurt him by talking to him about it..well...when he finds out everyone has been talking about him behind his back...his supposed friends..that's going to hurt the most, especially because they decided to assume and judge him without actually asking for his side of the story, it's like he's guilty until proven innocent. He deserves a chance to explain.

Wouldn't it only be a confrontation if you actually accused him and told him to stop? What if you just took him aside and asked him. Just let him know you're confused and wanted to know what was going on in HIS head. If it's innocent it won't hurt him...I imagine it would just make him respect you more, and if it's not innocent then that's your moment to put boundaries in place. If you just spoke to him as a caring friend it really shouldn't make anything awkward....and if it does, it probably wouldn't last for long...unless you and all the friends were right. 🙂

Posted by roxyfalcon2006
Oh, I forgot to mention something important.. He has a history of going after all his friends' exes..

yep, like i said...this has probably happened b4.

if any of my friends even thinks about dating one of my exes, theyd better hope i never find out about it.

Stop acting like it's all so innocent whether it is or not. You draw the line, you set the boundaries. Teasing you in front of your boyfriend, in all good fun, maybe. However, going any place with him "Alone" is crossing the line. Would it appear innocent had your boyfriend took that other girl to lunch. Common sense= boundaries. The scorpio is manipulating the both of you to see how far he can take it. Your siding with his feelings because everybody is upset with him? Really? Why is that your job? Pay attention to your own man and he might actually stick up for you. It's a game to the scorpio, one he is obviously use to playing with his friend. Whether he likes you beyond friendship or not is irrelavant. He may have a crush, big deal. You have a boyfriend and "YOU" make it clear you are unavailable through your actions. You don't need words for this, show some loyalty. Give your attention where it belongs and quit playing innocent. If any man sat between me and my boyfriend I would have said, uh baby I want to sit next to you. Now you get to back paddle out of this mess. And for the record, your boyfriend probably is testiing you at this point. He's not doing anything about it because you let it go this far. Reap what you sew, your mess, clean it up.

for the record, everytime he makes those jokes and stuff i give him a negative reaction like "umm, no.. not happening" and I didn't let him sit between us, but he did make sure I sat between the two of them. I'm gone all week so I'm hoping things will cool down, and when I get back I'll see what happens. If he continues the behavior, I'm just gonna have to overcome my fear of confrontation and somehow say something to him.. I'm not the best when it comes to wording things and ended up making the last scorpio friend of mine HATE me when i gave him the "just friends" talk, same with a virgo guy too.. I'll rehearse a speech or something, what's the best way to phrase it?

If this was MY situation...I would ask him IN FRONT OF MY BF about how he got my # and why he would text and call me all the time then PRAY TO HEAVEN AND EARTH that my BF beats the SHIT out of him for being sneaky!

*back to reality*

It HAS to be addressed because he is obviously and consciously stepping over the line and you are leaving the gate open. If you like the attention, what can I say...I just hope you value your RELATIONSHIP a bit more than some cheap passes at your panties.

I think talking to your man FIRST is the first step because you FEEL like he is being inappropriate and you want your MAN to handle his business and "protect" you from stuff like this. Now, I know we're dealing with a crab bf, but at least let him give it a try first before YOU approach that scorp dude.

If your Cancer can't muster up enough courage to check the guy (if that happens), then you tell him IN FRONT OF YOUR MAN that you don't really dig the way he "jokes with you" AND how he disrespects your man by doing so. Situations like this leave a bad taste in my mouth so the sooner it is nipped the better...I hope...for your sake anyway.

Good luck but don't hurt your crab if you somehow find yourself in a "situation" with this douchebag. Been there and it ain't a happy place...

^^^You're probably right! And if you are right, shame on her for feeding into it!

BUT, let's say you're wrong...for now 😉

I don't like sneaky slimeballs like this creep. I'd kick a dude's ass for trying to play my honey OR try to make me question any emotions, feelings or status of my relationship! That's a no-no!

I hope this sucka gets what's coming to him...and I don't mean a secret rendezvous either!