Needing some insight on this relationship...

So my scorpio texted me tonight saying he was thinking about my concerns of us not working in the future because we don't have much in common. He says he doesn't want us to get physically attached until we know for sure this will work and that the fact that we don't have much in common is the main factor that would cause us not to work. I'm literally sick to my stomach because I really like this guy and we get along so well that I'd hate the fact that we don't have much in common make this not work. He really wants it to work, but he doesn't want this to crash and burn...and I agree.
We're going to talk about it tomorrow, but I'd like some insight from you guys. Does having things in common really matter if the understanding and mutual respect is there? I like that we don't argue that much and we learn new things from each other because we have some different interests. But is this going to drive us apart once the honeymoon phase wears off? 😢

Yeah I wish that helped -_-

I'm still hurting..

Yeah I agree..why waste your time if you're not thinking you could be with them in 5-10 years. The thing is I can. So far the things that really attract me to him are his romantic ways, his humor, and the fact that we both share the same religion. I found this...

"Personally, and this is just my opinion, I think that people need to have a moral base that's the same in their relationship. Everything else is trivial. But you have to believe in the same things. It doesn't matter if one of you loves football and the other one hates it, or if one's academic and the other's sporty or something. If one of you loves spicey food and the other one hates it. That's nothing and I think things like that are irrelevant but add a bit of fun.

What really matter is your morals and your priorities. And everyone would like to say they're big on trust and loyalty and being good. But in the end nobody is all of those things. Some people just aren't very moral people. And I have friends that are, I'm not saying they're mean, they've just got different priorities. And I think that's another thing. you're priorities matter. I don't think a relationship can work where one person's a workaholic and the other one is someone who just wants as much holidays as they can get.

So yeah. I think that in some cases difference it's the spice of life. But in others it's the kiss of death."

Very insightful and I'd have to agree. I think I need more of that activeness in my life because I'm always so lazy and sitting in my room. I need someone who will get me out of my room and get me moving. I check the love compatibility for this one and it said that this relationship would help us to grow and change.

I know how you feel kitsune, I'm having the same problem with the tau, we get along very well and have this intuitive connection I dont know how to explain. We have one thing in common that I know of. He can't even DO the the things I love. I told him I was worried about it and I think I'm getting the results of that now with him withdrawing. Sigh. Not happy.. I really like him, its not often I meet someone who meets needs I like to deny I even have. Anyway I dont have the answer either, but you have my sympathies.

Me and my partner seem to have almost everything in common and guess what happened the other night? We got into an arguement (nothing big) because we didn't have one small thing in common! We had gotten used to having most of what we spoke about in common that when we had differing opinions it was hard to hear the other persons side.

I don't really think you need to have everything in common. All you need is an open mind and a tolerance for difference I'd imagine.

You would learn so many more life lessons, skills and more from someone you didn't have much in common with. You also get to experience things you wouldn't normally and eventually gain something which causes you to have more in common. They can teach you to think and react to things differently.

I think what THEKingofLibra said was good...but I also think that the growing apart thing can happen at any stage of life. I don't think it's reserved for young people (although the younger a person is the more they change).

I think it could go either way after the honeymoon period and only you two can really know which may that may be and what needs to be done about it.

Thanks, appreciate all the comments. They were all very good. I'm having a talk with him tonight which will be the determining factor. I've researched a lot on this and shared with him some of my ideas to prepare him for what I'm going to talk about tonight. I'm thinking I know which way I want this to go, but who knows how things will be swayed once we start talking and I get his opinions in there.

Thanks Dreamer, that's some good insight. I don't date anyone unless I plan on it working in the long run. Otherwise I see no point in dating cus then I can be with whoever I want, whenever I want.
Yeah we've made sure to target any weak point that might come up in this relationship. I don't wanna say we're trying to make it bullet proof cus to say that would be setting ourselves up for breaking at any unsuspecting thing. But we are trying to make sure this will work out before we become official.
We both want this to work. I'm not trying to change his mind KOL. I'm the one who mentioned worrying about these things in common in the first place and so it got him thinking. He made this seem like it wasn't a big deal though so it sounds like he just wants to talk to reassure me. After reading numerous posts and articles I've come to the conclusion that you don't need everything in common to work. As long as you have a mutual respect and understanding of each others differences it can actually be quite life enriching.

Looking back I remember one of the best relationships I had was with someone who shared almost nothing in common with me. We ended up splitting because he's faith in christianity wasn't as strong as mine. If it hadn't of been for that we would have stayed together due to the fact that we respected each others differences. And then there was another guy who I had almost everything in common with who you'd think I'd stay with forever, but the relationship was so unhealthy because we didn't respect each other or try to understand each others differences.

So I think my main thing here is that as long as they are on the same level with me in our religion and have some of the same priorities in life that it will work just fine.

Thanks Dreamer

We talked it out and while we got over the fact that we don't have much in common he brought up the fact that we don't know each other as well as he'd like to for as physical as we've been. So he wants to "rewind the clock" and take out the physical stuff because he feels guilty, and quite honestly so do I, about the lusty stuff because of our faith. He's still going to take me out, but he said it'd be more public places and he wants to get to know me better and then enter into a relationship before we get physical again.

At first I wasn't too happy about it, but then I realized I really need this...I'm so weak when it comes to lusty stuff that if the guy is just as weak then it all just falls apart so I'm glad he's taking a step back to revamp all of them.

So here I go again...round 2. Trying to take it slow..

Posted by THEKingofLibra
Geez. A Sag bunny has her ideas grounded? Thats.. interesting 😛

So you are now researching possible outcomes, creating graphs and trees in your mind, spanning the future predictions, meanwhile your Scorp is fixed in his way. So either you don't know his ways which means you still don't know him, or you are trying to change him.

Oh the mighty freedom loving Sag.. You have changed. You are no longer going with the flow, but rather looking ahead and trying to paddle. Good luck with that 😄

where the hell did all this insight come from? what have you done with the real king of libra?

Posted by THEKingofLibra
You are young, inexperienced and frankly don't really know what you want out of life. If you were to grow up together at this point, one of you is likely to grow apart and it still won't work out in the long run.

So the choices are, continue dating casually and getting to know each other, furthering the friendship and mental rapport, and eventually moving in together, or simply grow apart, come back later and see if there is still chemistry there.

I've grown apart from many high school and college crushes and exes and friends and whatnot. They just start to bore you with their trite bullshit and lame ass jokes and eccentricities. Eventually you'll find yourself unable to tolerate the little things that made you attracted to them, and you'll be passive aggressive with outbursts of anger and slowly begin to poison the relationship.

Whats the point of even wasting your time if you can't see yourself being with them in 5-10 years from now?

who are you?

Posted by THEKingofLibra
I.. touch myself at night

there he is!!!

but for reals, that was some great advice you gave.

Hmm good idea Sassy. I'll make sure to act confidently when I hang with him tonight. I'm really glad him and I had that talk tho. We were about to spend the night together for the first time tonight and that's probably not the best idea for two people who wanted to abstain from sex so it was a good that we had this talk and I really respect him for being a real man about this. He still wants to be exclusive, so that's good

Don't try to work on what is going on between you and a scorpio. Work on you, ignore your urge to think about what Scorpio is doing/not doing, because I will tell you from experience as soon as you think you have an idea of what is going on with them and try to address the scorpio, they will turn it back around on you (even though they are wrong), or fake an anxiety attack to avoid discussing the matter.

SAVE YOURSELF HEARTACHE and HEADACHE and let the world not revolve around the beauty you see in it, instead of a shadow of something you thought you might have with a Scorpio. Dealing with a Scorpio in a relationship hiccup is like teaching Helen Keller in that old movie how to eat with a spoon. Some how the spoon will be thrown at your head and you will have porridge to clean up after.

I wish you the best, believe me when I say this, I have been down that road, cried into the t-shirt, and asked the monster under my bed, why?! and wtf ?! and just lost sight of the awesomeness I have outside of that situation.

Now it is like I am immune to any b.s. that will probably come my way, and I won't even let a white-lie get to me, or a list of things they did wrong be a downer, more like just a passing news blurb on t.v.

Yes you can! And you will! And you will believe in what you need to focus on again! Say your "fuck you's" don't expect a straight answer, know that you spoke up and be proud of yourself and be done with it.

Don't let them try to make you feel guilty and sneak negative ideas about yourself from out of nowhere. They know you said I love you first, they know you gave them more presents, don't let them make you some monster you never were.

Haha hmm not sure what you're talking about in this post heroic. I've heard about these kinda scorpios tho. I dealt with a milder case of this in one back last year.

This one is on the cusp of scorp/sag so he's a lot let hurtful then other scorpios. I've actually had the best relationship I've ever had with him out of all the guys I've dated. Very sweet and caring, and he asked me to be his girlfriend last night 🙂

I appreciate the heads up tho. I've looked at several posts about scorpios and I'm always aware that things could change. I'm positive they will turn out good tho.

Thanks again!

I don't agree with "having nothing in common" being so bad. As long as you compromise and do some of the things each other like (my sister-in-law goes to truck shows with my brother, although she would rather be home baking...lol). There has to be things you both enjoy. I also think a Scorpio and Sag are a great pair. Good luck!

Posted by TheLadySagittarius
I don't agree with "having nothing in common" being so bad. As long as you compromise and do some of the things each other like (my sister-in-law goes to truck shows with my brother, although she would rather be home baking...lol). There has to be things you both enjoy. I also think a Scorpio and Sag are a great pair. Good luck!

Yeah I would agree, as long as when you do it you don't resent them later. Me and scorpio have actually found plenty of things to do together lately and are happily in a relationship now 🙂 Yes I would agree scorps and sags are a great match cus I feel we really compliment each other. Thanks!

Posted by heroic_guy


Don't let them try to make you feel guilty and sneak negative ideas about yourself from out of nowhere. They know you said I love you first, they know you gave them more presents, don't let them make you some monster you never were.

Why do some of them do that?