OneLove78
@OneLove78
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 42 · Topics: 4
Scorpio Men: Describe Mystery
Idk about mystery.
I am interested in probing someones mind.
I'm not interested in every detail of your day.
Gemini women tend to do this in excess lol
I think this is for all men tho.
I am interested in probing someones mind.
I'm not interested in every detail of your day.
Gemini women tend to do this in excess lol
I think this is for all men tho.
But what about woman's behavior? Do you like it when there is hot/cold aloofness, like disappearing for days? Or do you like it when you keep in contact (like some texting, jokes, etc.) which lets you know that she is interested in you/thinking of you.
Just from what I've heard/read, Scorps need to know that they are needed/loved in order for them to open up and trust someone, but then they also like mystery. So trying to understand what would be a healthy balance.
Just from what I've heard/read, Scorps need to know that they are needed/loved in order for them to open up and trust someone, but then they also like mystery. So trying to understand what would be a healthy balance.
Yes, you are right and I am the first one to admit I hate game playing when it comes to dating, but I am also aware that unfortunately, there is no way around it without being perceived as needy, desparate, clingy, etc. If a woman, who is genuinely interested in a man just comes out and says "hey I like you. Would you like to see me" or says "I miss you" "just thinking of you" during the phase of spending time together/getting to know each other, that is usually not taken as that - a simple and genuine interest on her part. Men start to freak out. At least that is a vast majority of cases in dating, in my experience and experience of my friends. And I am not talking about bombarding someone with 100 texts a day or asking them why didn't you call me? I am talking about a normal human interaction where a woman is interested in a man and wants to explore a possibility of a relationship with him. To me, it's as asimple as this - if you like me and I like you, there shouldn't be a tiptoeing around this subject and expressing one's feelings should be welcomed.
Scorps, more so that any other zodiac sign, always say/are described as mysterious ones, getting bored too easily, etc.
Scorps, more so that any other zodiac sign, always say/are described as mysterious ones, getting bored too easily, etc.
Posted by OneLove78
Just from what I've read, Scorps need to know that they are needed/loved in order for them to open up and trust someone, but then they also like mystery.
Perhaps read something else, because that doesn't make much sense to me. One has nothing to do with the other.
Anyway, OP was directed to the men folk, so I'll leave it to them to answer the mystery piece.
^^^I will add one thing. For a person to open up and trust, you need to be upfront---about who you are--and trustworthy (actions and words often line up). That has nothing to do with telling a person how much you miss/need/want them. At least not to me. You??re discussing two different things entirely.
Yes, I am a Virgo but have Venus in Scorpio and am currently in communication with a man who is both Scorpio Sun and Venus, so that's why I am asking. I am a contradiction in a sense because I don't act as a typical Virgo when it comes to a relationship. I think my Scorpio Venus totally takes over in that aspect (I am intense, feel things very deeply, can read people's energy, crave that —all or nothing?? type of love, possessive, etc.), but the problem is my Virgo Sun kicks in and I tend to overthink stuff. This actually drives me crazy. It's always a struggle for me to balance the two. I am being myself with him when we are together, it's when we are not, my overly analytical Virgo steps in and here I am asking questions on this board, lol??_
Posted by Rabbit
Oh you're a Virgo...
Hmph. She'll be floating around for a while then.
#FavouriteSextileYouOverthinkThings #Stop
I am not a man.
But I saw the mystery of scorp men as not *talkative*. They are too quiet.. and they stare very deep.
It frightens me sometimes...because I see the mirror of myself.
Posted by M143
I am not a man.
But I saw the mystery of scorp men as not *talkative*. They are too quiet.. and they stare very deep.
It frightens me sometimes...because I see the mirror of myself.
M143, thank you for your input but I was wondering what mystery in a woman means to Scorpio men. Like which behaviour/personality traits would make them go "hhhmmm, there is something about this girl...she is mysterious" I've read being aloof or not available would be considered as that. But then I thought that if they don't see an interest from a woman, they drop it and become disinterested. It's like - do they like to chase or not? And if a woman is there and just being herself and is not sensoring her actions/words letting him know that she is into him, would that be considered as too boring and not mysterious?
Posted by PhoenixRising
^^^I will add one thing. For a person to open up and trust, you need to be upfront---about who you are--and trustworthy (actions and words often line up). That has nothing to do with telling a person how much you miss/need/want them. At least not to me. You??re discussing two different things entirely.
Phoenix, thank you for your input. I have been. Actually, I simultaneously started a thread in the Virgo's forum since I am one, and my last post there reflects my take on this. If you care to read, here is the link:
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/virgo/dating-a-scorpio-man-5299999/?p=3<BR>
So to add to that, I have been completely honest with him from the get go. But I have sort of taken a passive role lately in that I have not told him that his recent lack of communication has been bothering me. Everyone on here seems to be like hey be upfront and tell him how you feel, but no one seems to understand why I am hesitant to do that. Knowing what I know about Scorps, I would think Scorps here would understand that I just don't want him to perceive me as needy, impatient, not understanding and trying to rush things, when he clearly mentioned in our conversations that he is not needy, does not like needy, doesn't need to see/talk to someone every day, doesn't rush into a relationship, take time to warm up to someone. To him my being direct about not liking him slowing down our interactions may scream "SHE HEARD NOTHING OF WHAT I TOLD HER."
But back to my needs - I am OK with giving someone space, as I am kinda like that, but once I have that security of knowing that the person likes me and wants to be with me. At this stage of our relationship, this does not make me feel safe as I don't know whether he is really interested in me or not. So that's why I started this thread asking about mysterious behavior. If Scorps like that, me being upfront about my feelings sounds like a contradiction in a sense.
When all else fails, Scorpio hates dishonesty. Lying gives the shivers, unless lying to the enemy in order to protect your own (in which case there is still hidden cringing involved). So if you want to know something, just ask. Put it into words that don't make him feel like he has to defend himself though. If he feels like he has to defend himself: 'panic, all systems prepare for imminent strike, logic shutting down.....'
In the end he will perceive you based on how you feel to him, less than on what you say to him, and very much so on your ability for honesty. I know this can be hard to put into words, but... that's what intuition is. It's the gut/heart-feel. Mystery is interesting but honesty is comforting! Transparency, once I-like-you-Virgo-lady has been established, can actually be a sort of relief, since sometimes the overly logical can be hard to fathom by the overly emotional anyway, and vice versa.
In the end he will perceive you based on how you feel to him, less than on what you say to him, and very much so on your ability for honesty. I know this can be hard to put into words, but... that's what intuition is. It's the gut/heart-feel. Mystery is interesting but honesty is comforting! Transparency, once I-like-you-Virgo-lady has been established, can actually be a sort of relief, since sometimes the overly logical can be hard to fathom by the overly emotional anyway, and vice versa.
Posted by OneLove78
...I have been completely honest with him from the get go. But I have sort of taken a passive role lately in that I have not told him that his recent lack of communication has been bothering me. Everyone on here seems to be like hey be upfront and tell him how you feel, but no one seems to understand why I am hesitant to do that. Knowing what I know about Scorps, I would think Scorps here would understand that I just don't want him to perceive me as needy, impatient, not understanding and trying to rush things, when he clearly mentioned in our conversations that he is not needy, does not like needy, doesn't need to see/talk to someone every day, doesn't rush into a relationship, take time to warm up to someone. To him my being direct about not liking him slowing down our interactions may scream "SHE HEARD NOTHING OF WHAT I TOLD HER."
Okay well the OP has nothing to do with why you really posted. This is one of the reasons a simple thread turn into an epic novels. So unnecessary. Just state why/what you actually want to figure out.
First, I just want to state once again I think you are talking about different things, but I'm starting to figure out why. If a relationship "lacks" communication, telling a person this bothers you is not the same as being "needy" or "impatient". If there is no real communication, that is a problem and it should be discussed. However, based on what you've written it sounds like he has no problem communicating with you, but the frequency doesn't seem to be calming your insecurity (e.g. "the recent lack of communication").
Why do you feel so insecure about your involvement with him? Has he given you reason (other than slowing the contact down) to make you feel he's no longer interested? Better yet, why do you assume him slowness has to do with disinterest in you vs simply needing time to figure things out or having other issues outside of your interactions to manage? You haven't written anything regarding the other aspects of your courtship (how he treats you, how he is when he is with you)---but I recognize you probably didn't want to go that deep into it based on the OP. How long have you been dating? All of these things matter as much (if not more imo) as how often the man talks to you.
means nothing if the interaction is superficial. Also, read over Rabbit's last post. Those things matter more than texting you every second to let you know you're on someone's mind.
Posted by OneLove78
...when he clearly mentioned in our conversations that he is not needy, does not like needy, doesn't need to see/talk to someone every day, doesn't rush into a relationship, take time to warm up to someone. To him my being direct about not liking him slowing down our interactions may scream "SHE HEARD NOTHING OF WHAT I TOLD HER."
If he "clearly mentioned he doesn't rush into a relationship" and "needs time to warm up to someone" that tells me, you're not actually in a relationship (although you've called it such), so at this stage, your insecurity is your issue to sort out. Not his. Sorry. If you force that responsibility onto him you will create an issue. Figure out why you internalize stuff so much.
Posted by OneLove78
But back to my needs - I am OK with giving someone space, as I am kinda like that, but once I have that security of knowing that the person likes me and wants to be with me. At this stage of our relationship, this does not make me feel safe as I don't know whether he is really interested in me or not. So that's why I started this thread asking about mysterious behavior. If Scorps like that, me being upfront about my feelings sounds like a contradiction in a sense.click to expand
Well "kinda" being like him in terms of needing space is fine. Just recognize that you may be dealing with a Scorp that doesn't "kinda" need space, but actually does. A lot of it. Again, this may not be a reflection of his feelings, simply how he processes his emotions and the world. As he begins to trust you, you will be a part of that process. You rush it and push, you're locked out. Pushing fast forward because you feel insecure is not his concern or problem. Being in an established relationship is a different matter (to some degree).
Finally, you don't have to change who you are (e.g. taking a passive role), but simply appreciate who he is. Meaning, if you like to text, call just to say hi, do so. However, if you don't hear from him immediately or everyday (at this stage in the courtship) it does not necessarily mean he is disinterested. I personally do not text/call my SO everyday even though he is on my mind much of the time. I don't feel the need to. Other Scorps do. Appreciate the Scorp you're with and stop relying on generic references that you've read about what and who we are. There's no need to "be" mysterious because Scorps supposedly dig that. Be yourself.
BTW I didn't read the thread on the Virgo board. Not my style and I'm too impatient to chase after threads or read the same stuff over and over again. They have their pov, I have mine. Take from it what you want.
If a relationship "lacks" communication, telling a person this bothers you is not the same as being "needy" or "impatient". If there is no real communication, that is a problem and it should be discussed. However, based on what you've written it sounds like he has no problem communicating with you, but the frequency doesn't seem to be calming your insecurity (e.g. "the recent lack of communication").
Why do you feel so insecure about your involvement with him? Has he given you reason (other than slowing the contact down) to make you feel he's no longer interested? Better yet, why do you assume him slowness has to do with disinterest in you vs simply needing time to figure things out or having other issues outside of your interactions to manage? You haven't written anything regarding the other aspects of your courtship (how he treats you, how he is when he is with you)---but I recognize you probably didn't want to go that deep into it based on the OP. How long have you been dating? All of these things matter as much (if not more imo) as how often the man talks to you.
Hi Phoenix! It's not even the frequency, to me it's the feeling that at this point we have not made any progress/haven't moved forward. It's going on 3 weeks (this weekend) since we last saw each other. He has not made any plans to see. Yet he texts, but it's nothing meaningful/significant. Just a pointless chit-chat here and there. It almost feels like he doesn't want me to forget about him, yet makes no effort to let me know that he is indeed interested. Therefore, I do feel "insecure" as you put it about this whole situation. Whast does he need to figure out exactly? How much he is interested in me? Well, sporadic texts won't assist in that, that I am certain of. The only way for someone to know whether they want to continue/build something with another is to actually spend time with that person. Is that too crazy of a view on how a relationship gets developed?
Posted by PhoenixRising
Finally, you don't have to change who you are (e.g. taking a passive role), but simply appreciate who he is. Meaning, if you like to text, call just to say hi, do so. However, if you don't hear from him immediately or everyday (at this stage in the courtship) it does not necessarily mean he is disinterested. I personally do not text/call my SO everyday even though he is on my mind much of the time. I don't feel the need to. Other Scorps do. Appreciate the Scorp you're with and stop relying on generic references that you've read about what and who we are. There's no need to "be" mysterious because Scorps supposedly dig that. Be yourself.
As for our interaction, to recoupe: this has been going on for about 1,5 months. Saw each other every weekend, total of 5 dates. Until he pulled back after the last date (was quite intense, making out, no sex). Went silent for a week, reappeared, slow texting back and forth for a week, no plans to see me that weekend. Last week - same. This is the 3rd week, has not made any plans so far. We are texting though, but it's nothing in depth. At this point, I honestly feel like giving up. I don't think I haven't been patient with him. Never asked him why he disappeared for a week, just let him be. Never brought it up when he reappeared. But the way things have been, him contacting me here and there but not making any plans to see me for almost 3 weeks is not something I like.
He told me that he didn't need any more friends and so it's either he likes the person and sees a potential for a relationship or he doesn't even bother. Well? I don't get what this is between us. At this point, it feels to me like we are just texting buddies, which I have no interest in. Yet, I don't know how to deal with this situation. When he texts, I respond. When I do, he always does. Do I ignore him when he texts me next so he gets it that I am tired of this pointless never leading to anything texts? But I don't want to do it coz I consider ignoring someone rude. So what do I do? I feel like I am just dragging this - whatever it is between us - while I am not OK with it, yet I don't know how to deal with it in such a way that it lets him know that I want something more than this, yet he doesn't see it as me pushing him. Need your advice here, please.
Posted by OneLove78Posted by PhoenixRising
Finally, you don't have to change who you are (e.g. taking a passive role), but simply appreciate who he is. Meaning, if you like to text, call just to say hi, do so. However, if you don't hear from him immediately or everyday (at this stage in the courtship) it does not necessarily mean he is disinterested. I personally do not text/call my SO everyday even though he is on my mind much of the time. I don't feel the need to. Other Scorps do. Appreciate the Scorp you're with and stop relying on generic references that you've read about what and who we are. There's no need to "be" mysterious because Scorps supposedly dig that. Be yourself.click to expand
As for our interaction, to recoupe: this has been going on for about 1,5 months. Saw each other every weekend, total of 5 dates. Until he pulled back after the last date (was quite intense, making out, no sex). Went silent for a week, reappeared, slow texting back and forth for a week, no plans to see me that weekend. Last week - same. This is the 3rd week, has not made any plans so far. We are texting though, but it's nothing in depth. At this point, I honestly feel like giving up. I don't think I haven't been patient with him. Never asked him why he disappeared for a week, just let him be. Never brought it up when he reappeared. But the way things have been, him contacting me here and there but not making any plans to see me for almost 3 weeks is not something I like.
He told me that he didn't need any more friends and so it's either he likes the person and sees a potential for a relationship or he doesn't even bother. Well? I don't get what this is between us. At this point, it feels to me like we are just texting buddies, which I have no interest in. Yet, I don't know how to deal with this situation. When he texts, I respond. When I do, he always does. Do I ignore him when he texts me next so he gets it that I am tired of this pointless never leading to anything texts? But I don't want to do it coz I consider ignoring someone rude. So what do I do? I feel like I am just dragging this - whatever it is between us - while I am not OK with it, yet I don't know how to deal with it in such a way that it lets him know that I want something more than this, yet he doesn't see it as me pushing him. Need your
Not sure if this posted - I'm a serial dater and go out with different guys. The last two and the guy I'm speaking to now who I have dinner plans with this week are scorpions. If any guy, regardless of sign, is causing you to feel erratic and crazy you should confront them with how you feel. If they don't express courtesy and concern for your emotions then drop them like a bad habit because that's what they'll become. I'm a Virgo, Leo moon, Aquarius rising so perhaps I'm able to cut people off differently but I understand attachment too (Libra Venus) but don't let anyone ever make you feel crazy about them and they aren't crazy about you. I'd give him a talk, tell him when he wants to actually hang out again let you know then delete his text thread so you don't obsess over it and live your life.
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