scorpio - ....taurus aries cusp

Hello all -
I met a scorpio about 3.5 years ago. At the time he was seperated and going to get a divorce from his wife as she had recently had an affair. He wanted to have dinner and I said no because he was married (even though he was seperated). He continually purused me to have dinner and as you know scorpios are irresistable so I went to dinner. It was wonderful of course. He wante me to go to his cabin where he was living and I said no. We went out for another 8 - 9 months without having sex. Then it happened. We continued to see each other and were intimate but he still wasn't on a path to divorce. He mentioned his wife was going to try to take the kids and he couldn't handle not being with them.

As a scorpio would do he retreated and then came back. I told him I didn't want to be in a relationship with someone who wasn't divorced. He said he never wanted to hurt me and was sorry - it's a crappy situation. So we ended it after 1.5 years. Slowly we distanced ourselves. After a year he came back. The passion is amazing and I fell right back into his arms. I asked if he was seperated or divorced and he said no, he couldn't leave his son'. He is hurt by his wife as she is seeing this other guy off and on. She has continued to threaten him.

He travels weekly for work so doesn't spend much time at "home." So his wife is there with the kids and when he goes home she is off doing other things. I said I couldn't do this and he charmed his way back into my life. He told me he loved me which I know was very difficult for him. He says he knows this is a bad situation and seems to try to back away then aways comes back. He says he never wants or wanted to hurt me and he is only concerned about my happiness so if I walk away he understands.(this doesn't sound like a scorpio) He says he doesn't want to say goodbye and doesn't want to hold me back from living my life(dating.. but says he doesn't like the idea of me with other men and doesn't want that) but he isn't leaving.

This is so stupid I know... The signs are on the wall but I love him. I went away and now when I try he seems to keep coming back. I even blocked him but I missed him so much that when he found a way to contact me I let him. He is very kind to me and funny, caring and has asked for me to let him take baby steps.

Help.

He has asked for baby steps.

Help with what?

Help with what 'baby steps' would mean and is that something a scorpio would do - meaning take baby steps to work his way out of his current marriage and into a real relationship?

Girl please, he aint goin no where. Hes sitting pretty.

sure is - isn't he. I have told my friends I was going to change my phone number because then he cannot find me and charm me. I am a taurus and crap if I can get my horns out on this one. I get them out and he finds some way to slather me with scorpio juice to soften my horns and get me to talk to him. What is the best way to deal with him? I don't need to fight or be mean cuz that doesn't make a scorpio or taurus act any better. Any advice on how to articulate to him would be helpful.

Dont give him the opportunity to schmooze you again.
He doesnt deserve an explanation.
Ice him out.
This guy tough spot or not is not being honest with either of you. NOT OK.
If shes seeing someone else, why do you two have to sneak around?
If he was truly devoted to you, he WOULD BE.
Demand that and nothing less, because he is not treating you with respect right now
nor has he been.
Ice him out, change your phone number, block on all social networks,
Or demand the divorce within a timeframe and have him stick with it or ^

Evermour - good advice! Why would he change what is easy? Especially since he has come back and convinced me that he is staying because of his son. He doesn't want to get caught but isn't especially secretive as we meet in public places where people know me and also him. That part freaks me out a bit. Funny you say change your phone number because my friends think he will change if I Ice him out - except not change my number. They say just don't respond.

Not sure what the right step is

IntriguedScorp - He sleeps in a different bedroom when he is home on weekends or at his cabin which I have been to many times. He also has invited me to his house but I won't go as I am not comfortable with that. I do trust him. Instinct is one reason, and he is consistent in his behavior of having been very, very hurt by his wife. He is slow to trust and his words fit with his actions. I only know about the boyfriend because of what he has told me and he doesn't talk about it alot as he is angered by it and I beleive hurt too.

Baby steps - He has said in the past he will work on opening up with me and has done that in small ways. Each time he comes back he makes a little further effort in his communication and his closeness. When he said baby steps it tied into his behavior of taking things really slow and learning to trust while opening up. I don't know what baby steps really means in terms of his marriage but what I feel and think is that the only way he can move forward is very slowly. He has shared how his wife has threatened him in different ways such as the kids, money, family. And I have seen him very emotional about his son and how sad he would be to have to live seperately if he were to divorce.

I have shared with him that I don't want to cheat and that I don't know what else to do but go away because I end up getting hurt when he comes into my life for a while and then disappears for a little while. He tells me to live my life(and says he doesn't like the thought of me dating others) but knows I am a one man woman and won't be intimate with another unless I am not seeing him.

Recently, I tried to get him to agree to saying good-bye because this hurts me and I get upset when he goes away. He said, No. I don't like that. Then he made a point to see me and take me out on Friday. He didn't respond to my texts last night or my phone call or text today but I know he doesn't want me to say it's over so he is avoiding me. I don't like it when he ignores me and usually tell him that but my friends say I need to change my behavior and walk away, don't respond when he contacts me as he needs to figure it out.

I am confused.. as you can tell. Any light you can shed on this would be helpful because I know he will be back and don't know how to handle this.

You dont need his permission to tell him to get lost.

Good Point. Doesn't that make him want to try to gain my attention more? It seems like when he feels I am slipping away he comes banging ..

If he was single yes. But not married. I've tried telling him to go away .. to leave me alone.. and go back to his marriage. He says he won't accept it. That he isn't going away.