Scorpio's please help me out...

Hi all,

Yes, I am new to posting on these boards - but I am not new to reading them. I am more of a snooper as opposed to one to ask for advice but I am so lost that I am caving in and doing so. First, I am divorcing (very unhappy marriage that I stayed in for the sake of doing the right thing for about 3 years too long). He is still married but is rarely home it seems and I have heard him speaking to her on the phone (when he didnt realize I was nearby) and they don't seem to be very happy. I have also noted that he doesnt seem to go home much and is definitely a work-a-holic (the workaholic part is actually one of the qualities I so admire in him). Anyway, I am only giving this info for use in helping to determine his personality - NOT so you can judge based on marital status, sometimes people DO stay in marriages just because they don't want to break tradition, let the relatives down, deal with the hassle of divorce, etc. So please do not respond if all you want to do is judge this fact. Thanks. 🙂

So, here goes:

I am a female Cancer w/virgo moon and cancer venus. The man I am asking about is Scorp w/taurus moon and scorp venus. I dunno if you need all that but just in case... 🙂

My question is this - I know him for some years, lets say 5. We were aquaintances for a while but over the past 2 years or so we talk more. There was some texting on occasion (say like on holidays) and one time I couldn't help myself and I called him and told him I thought he was so cute and it was so nice to talk to him. He laughed and when I saw him again I asked why he laughed and he turned red and said —that's just me??. At that point, it was just harmless — I genuinely enjoyed chatting with him and his smile just got to me so I had to be honest. But then somehow we ended up flirting via text for a month or two after that. Then BAM he said he couldn't text anymore. I felt he was uncomfortable and thats why he did it so I backed off. Not too long after he told me that it was because his bill was expensive. I still felt like he just wanted to cut me off (understandably so and I respected that). I left him be and my husband and I seperated a few months later (I just had enough after 3 years of fights and insults - he was a gemini - we were NOT compatible).

A couple of months later I see Mr. Scorp and I tell him me and husband split. His jaw drops and he stares. Then he says "wow good for you" — I blew off the odd response as I was happy to be single and thought well yeah I guess it is good for me. Ok, now I dont see him for about 4 or 5 months. I was still trying to stay away since I felt that is what he rathered right? I call him after all these months to ask him about some work he could do for me and he says he will be over in an hour- no maybe half an hour- no an hour. LOL

He comes and we had a 5 minute conversation of —hey wsup? — Not much. Sup with you?- Not much??_. Pause??_ so wsup? *giggle*??_.?? You get the idea. And we just stared and smiled. The only real conversation was me saying he looked like he lost some weight and looked good and him returning the compliment and saying my hair looked nice (I wondered if the compliment was only out of feeling he should say something nice back but I don't know). Anyway, he left soon after and we just smiled and he was blushing as he backed away saying goodbye.

So a holiday rolls around a month later and I call to wish him a good one. He says thx and he will call me back - he was busy. That night he actually called back - to my surprise! I flat out told him I didnt expect a call too. We talked for about 10 minutes and joked a little. It was nice. I really DID enjoy talking to him - even for 5 or 10 minutes.

Another holiday rolls around a few weeks later and I again call to wish him a good one and he picks up first ring and enthusiastically says happy happy. We chat for 10 minutes or so. Then we hang up. All of a sudden HOURS later I get a text saying happy holiday and I nearly fell out of my chair. I replied to thank him but he never said more back. I never brought it up again - in case I was just one in a mailing list of people he sent it to. However, this was very late at night so I always questioned that...

Fast forward about 3 months. He was to come here and work again for the first time in 4+ months. I wasn't home so I didnt get to see him. He called me 3 times that day. First to ask me if it was ok to do the work and I said yes, then to ask me if I informed my family that I would be paying for the work, then to ask me if I could get him some info from my job about something he was considering. I enjoyed every 3 minute conversation though I wondered if they were genuine or just excuses to call.

Now things have gotten really odd from that point on. Not necessarily bad just hard for me to understand...

We pass each other on the road often and honk. We see each other once a week for a few minutes when I see him working around here, if I'm around when he is (most weeks I am). We have gaps though where we dont catch each other or text or anything for 2 or 3 weeks. But after those gaps and we finally do see each other he seems really pleased to see me and will smile and look at me with these huge puppy dog eyes. Ohhhh, this is where the problem lies now. I have totally fallen for him. hook line and stinger - I mean sinker. 😉 LOL BUT, seeing as I dont know where his marriage is at, I don't want to overstep boundaries unless HE initiates something. And more recently, he did. He asked me to do something for him and being that Im totally nuts over the guy I did as he asked. And then I felt like maybe I was just his toy. *sigh* BUT since that has happened, his behavior has changed and its making my head spin.

He responds to MOST of my texts (whereas before he sometimes didn't), sometimes after he has just seen me, or the next day he will initiate a text to me - usually something flirty, then I had said something one day via text and his answers suddenly became one or two words and I wasnt sure what I did wrong but I flat out said whatever I did to offend you I appologize as it wasnt my intent and he asked why I thought he was mad. I was so confused. He seemed mad or insulted and so I told him this. He said not at all. One day he was leaving and ended up coming back over by my porch and stood by me but my mom was there and the whole time he basically stared at my mom with a look like he had a secret and didnt want to say it while she was there (that was actually what his expression looked like to me - no exaggeration). My mom took to long to leave so he ended up leaving and never saying much of anything. That struck me odd - come running over like you have something to say but then say nothing and end up leaving? Then he drives past my house and honks but doesnt stop and will send me a text saying he beeped and sometimes wont even send the text - I have to send him one and say did you just drive by and honk. To which I get a "yup". LOL And I also noticed recently if *I* dont answer *his* texts he will text again, and sometimes again repeating himself for an answer.

Finally, I caved a few days ago and gave him an open invite to stop by last night if he wanted to. (I was really hoping I could get him to TALK about whats going on since I am so confused) He didn't show and he didn't call or text. I'm super confused and frustrated. Can you all tell me what you think? And please don't criticize the relationship status. I am FULLY aware of what a messed up situation this is but I REALLY have felt like there is something there between us and I am just trying to understand what he might be thinking.

Scorpio men and women, or those who know them well, please help...

Oh, and I am not the typical crying over you, chasing you kind of cancer. I am very independent and if he pulls away, I go. I dont cling as they claim most crabs do. Maybe its the virgo moon—

Thx all!

Aww thanks so much for taking the time to answer. I am not a complainer, and I am SO private about things. This is REALLY frustrating me or I wouldn't even ask! My friends would love to hear a story like this out of me because usually its them telling ME their drama and I am "boring" LOL. But I have read enough on the boards here to see you all really do notice traits in signs. I know there are a lot of cancer traits I do have - just not the overly sappy clingy one LOL. But I am loyal, honest, motherly, super caring when someones in need, etc. So I really believe the signs are generally pretty dead on.

Oh, and SORRY it was so long... I was trying to convey it as simply as I could. This is all over a period of 2 years so it could have been A LOT longer. LOL

Thanks again! 🙂

my question is "that something he asked you to do" was it sleep with him? cause if you slept with him then pretty much the game is over he came he saw he conquered and he won. Now he might just wanna keep you around on the side but he isnt going to leave his wife for you.

On the other note if it was sexual, maybe his feelings for you are getting to strong and he isnt sure what he is doing. Things are getting out of hand for him so hes gonna back off for awhile so he can figure things out.

Scorpios may like to have sexual experiences with many people but we are very faithful mentally, even if a beauty catches our eye and we lust for that we still remain loyal to whoever we dedicated ourselves too. we don't just jump off the band wagon because we another person catches our fancy, we try to sleep with them and then come home to our woman. It's fucked up but thats how we are. If he loves his wife he isn't going to leave her, he might sleep around on her but he won't leave her.

It was sexual but I did not sleep with him. Do you have any suggestions what I could do to find out for sure whats on his mind? I really care for him (seeing as how I know him quite a number of years) and I dont fall hard easily. I always fear getting hurt. In 10 years of marriage, my husband used to tell me I didnt know how to open up (communication). With him, I COULD open up IF I knew I wouldn't end up hurt in the end...

Oh, and if it matters, he we are both in our 30's and he is 6 years older.

Of course it's not just his eyes. Like I said, I enjoy talking to him. When we talk about things - whatever comes up, we always have similar, if not the same opinions on it. I know him for years so this is not a crush based on his "scorpionic gaze". I don't care about that at all. He's a tough guy on the outside but I have seen him have softer moments and I really loved it - though I didnt point it out that I caught it or anything. I have backed off - several times but we someohow get pulled back together each time I do and then things get more confusing and involved somehow each time as well. Thus, why I am here.

I appreciate all comments so thank you.

Oh, and the recent texting that I mentioned that became one and two word answers and I thought I offended him... they were only after I told him (meant in a flattering way) that a lot of guys would kill for what I did for him. Then he seemed cold and so I gave the above mentioned apology and over the next few days I thought perhaps he took it like I was insinuating that he should move over and let me be with other guys? So I send him a simple text just to clarify that I meant that as a compliment in saying I CHOSE to do what I did for him and not others. He then wrote back a while later and said He knew what I meant. So I felt like an idiot. LOL After that, his mood seemed to lighten up.

Thanks all for any opinions. Much Much Much appreciated! 🙂

Oh, and I have been single for 18 months. I am quite careful, believe me. I was married for 10.5 years! In the last 3, we both changed in different ways and it just couldnt work. We went through counseling and all that as well. I dont just fall for people and dump them and find another. That's not my M.O. at all. Just so you know... 🙂

I am Scorp/Sag cusp with taurus moon, so I can sorta relate to him. I also have Cancer rising. So that may or may not influence what I am about to say. I am also female and female verses male behavior/thoughts can differ. But with that being said, I would be having lots of battles with myself if this were me. On one hand, I would like the thrill of the new relationship(you), yet there would be a strong family bond(her). Unless things turned really sour between him and her, I doubt he will leave her for you.

The blunt honest to gosh truth is even if he would leave her, if he did this to her, he could do it to you.

I have indeed thought of that, Candlz. The thing is, he isn't asking to have sex AT ALL. And the way he acts around me goes back and forth. Sometimes he acts like a teenager with a crush - smiling, blushing, fumbling around a bit. Sometimes he keeps distance. I really do wish I knew more about his marital situation but I am not a nervy person and don't ask anyone to tell me anything. Its not my style . I do know they have seperated before, but not sure how many times. And he has a lot at stake even considering messing around with me (even verbally). He owns a biz and if I was a psycho I could probably make some real trouble for him. Of course I wouldn't, but I am just saying - he must trust me to some extent.

Anyone have any knowledge on behaviors he might show if his marriage was indeed "sour" as Candlz stated? I adore him (and have for several years) but I don't want to be strung along because he likes the attention... And does anyone know of any good ways for me to just get him to be straight with me?

Mr Nice is right...

This could go round and round for who knows how long..

do you have the time and patience to spare? -- if so, carry on the way you are..., but wave goodbye to your self esteem ...

He will never be 'straight' with you if you 'want' him to. It will happen when you are least expecting it.. its good that you never ask about his wife, and personal stuff, he will respect you for that... but but...

f&r said that you are (under his spell), I agree... this will be a hard thing to overcome as the Scorp spell goes beyond the realms of what we know to be. Ideally .... you become 'unavailable' , and he makes a firm move, this is what you want... but can you pull it off?.. (and Im not talking about the other thing lol)

Can you be strong and walk away? ...if you let him tree you around, he sees you as 'weak'. ,, and we all know that he (sees) this.... Is that what you want...

I HAVE walked away. Last year I totally disappeared for 4 months. Then when I called for him to do some work he came within an hour, as I said. And since then things have VERY slowly grown into more. Im just not sure WHAT that more IS. LOL. I adore him. I am not under a spell though. Yes I can walk away and hide. It's hard but I can. It hurts. But I can. These feelings have built up over a period of over 2 years so I promise its not a "spell". I have known him way longer and used to talk to him like he was just any other guy. This was gradual - as we talked more and I grew to appreciate certain qualities I noticed in him. 🙂

Thanks for the help. I really appreciate it. I will probably pull a disappearing act again - not so much to play a game. Just because I am a cancer and I do that naturally when I feel rejected in anyway. The confusion to me induces some feelings of rejection so... Off into my shell I will probably go... at least for a few weeks.

For the heck of it, I will ask. If I were to force myself to disappear for a while, how long should that while be (even if its after I am done stewing in my shell)— What you mentioned about patience Morrisey... I find that so interesting that you brought it up. HE has taught me patience. I never had any. EVER. I always wanted what I wanted once I fell hard for someone. I have never sat around observing and SLOOOWLY getting to know any man for over 2 years. If nothing else, he has taught me a valuable lesson about being patient and that is something that has affected me permanently.

Any further suggestions are welcome. I am off to sit and brood over whether I want to pull a disappearing act after he didnt show up this weekend (I am a bit miffed at the fact that he didnt have the courtesy to just say hey thanks but cant make it. No appearance was expected. But an rsvp would have been considerate...)

thx all

Posted by the_quiet_one76
I HAVE walked away.
Obviously not or you wouldn't be posting about him right now. 😄




Any further suggestions are welcome. I am off to sit and brood over whether I want to pull a disappearing act after he didnt show up this weekend (I am a bit miffed at the fact that he didnt have the courtesy to just say hey thanks but cant make it. No appearance was expected. But an rsvp would have been considerate...)

thx all

While you decide if you want to pull a disappearing act (not to be confused with game playing of course 😉) he's at home with his wife
*scratches chin* yessss.. decisions decisions. *rolls eyes*

Frankly it's all disgusting how you "fall out of your chair" over text messages and worry about talking and seeing him again and you don't even take into account what his wife might feel if she knew. Do you care?

Lemme ask you this.... would you be comfotable telling his wife about your relationship? I doubt it. Why? You know this is all wrong but by all means.... do what YOU want to do. *spit*

You know you say no judgement but no sugar. I'm judging. You are fucking around with a married man and then have the nerve to tell us not to judge. HA!

Now he's right up there with you in the scum department don't get me wrong.
My suggestion is to pull your disappearing act and forget about it. But before you go slinking away like a coward tell him you won't be speaking to him again because he's married and you aren't a homewrecker. Or are you?

"The thing is, he isn't asking to have sex AT ALL. And the way he acts around me goes back and forth. Sometimes he acts like a teenager with a crush - smiling, blushing, fumbling around a bit. Sometimes he keeps distance."

"Anyone have any knowledge on behaviors he might show if his marriage was indeed "sour" as Candlz stated? I adore him (and have for several years) but I don't want to be strung along because he likes the attention... And does anyone know of any good ways for me to just get him to be straight with me?"

I have been same situation for 4 years, scorp sun taurus moon as well.
these men have fixed signs in perosnal planets. I did (as you did), whatever: beign the patient girl I'v never been before, go slowly, gently, I have also been nasty and accusatory becuase he denied fucking un ugly woman at work who thenm he abrutply dimped whne I found out, he's there with blushing, puppet mooney eyes, got sick, suffered, I have come to the conclusion that with these men, after you have showed them they can trust you, you MUST just tell them: take it or leave it. ultimatums work, with fixed axes.
At least, for me it worked out, it took two months, not because he was readier then before, but because he perceived I was really exusted from the whole thing. Only I know it's too late, so it's me now putting him on.. waiting. I'm not sure anymore, you see, about him. I mean, a man who puts you thorugh all this confusion, knowing you love him. but this is just me. anyway, my advice to you, given the oppsotion sun moon in his chart (it's not easy at all for them, but also for us!!) is to let him go, telling him you'll be gone if he doesnt' make up his mind at least on opening up to you on what he really feels.

"While you decide if you want to pull a disappearing act (not to be confused with game playing of course ) he's at home with his wife
*scratches chin* yessss.. decisions decisions. *rolls eyes*"


Excuse me, but I don't play games. I have set him straight about things before. I don't disappear because I am playing. I disappear because I choose to withdraw and think. Thats my prerogative.




"Frankly it's all disgusting how you "fall out of your chair" over text messages and worry about talking and seeing him again and you don't even take into account what his wife might feel if she knew. Do you care? Lemme ask you this.... would you be comfotable telling his wife about your relationship? I doubt it. Why? You know this is all wrong but by all means.... do what YOU want to do. *spit*"


Frankly, I asked for some insight into understanding a scorpio man's behavior - NOT your personal views on how *I* feel or behave. AND, I have indeed heard his wife on speaker phone. She sounds like a snippy snot but maybe she was having a bad day right? Oh and in case you didn't read what I wrote, at one point I WAS the UNHAPPY wife and know that not all marriages are forever. Sorry if you don't like that. Look at the divorce rate. Not that its right, but it happens.


"You know you say no judgement but no sugar. I'm judging. You are treetrunking around with a married man and then have the nerve to tell us not to judge. HA!"

Excuse me, but again, that is not what I came here asking. And for the record, I am not "treetrunking around" with him. I have known him YEARS and I HAVE NOT slept with him. Thanks for your judgement, but you can have it back.



"Now he's right up there with you in the scum department don't get me wrong.
My suggestion is to pull your disappearing act and forget about it. But before you go slinking away like a coward tell him you won't be speaking to him again because he's married and you aren't a homewrecker. Or are you?"


This was just rude and uncalled for. You don't know me personally to call me scum and I will thank you to bring your attitude somewhere else. Also, I dont "slink away like a coward". If I have something to tell him, I most certainly will. And as for being a homewrecker, if his home was already broken, I wouldn't be wrecking it. THIS is what I am trying to figure out and why I asked this question. Go harass someone else because clearly you did not really read what I was asking.

Oh cute you trying to defend your actions.

"She sounds like a snippy snot but maybe she was having a bad day right?"

Ahh.... of course she is!!! She's a horrible woman who probably doesn't deserve her marriage. Right? So you being the lovely person you are are going to "save" him from "bad" marriage. How heroic. You deserve a medal 😛 BTW is that you *gasp* judging someone? So it's ok for YOU to judge but not anyone else.

"at one point I WAS the UNHAPPY wife and know that not all marriages are forever"

Not with people like you walking around "seeing" married men. And just because YOU were unhappy it doesn't speak for anyone elses marriage. So because your marriage didn't work out (surprise surprise) doesn't mean his or anyone elses cant. It's people like you that don't help that matter.

"Excuse me, but again, that is not what I came here asking. And for the record, I am not "treetrunking around" with him. I have known him YEARS and I HAVE NOT slept with him. Thanks for your judgement, but you can have it back."

Can it honey. You put your shit out on a public message board your gonna get opinions. Further more your on the Scorp board. You also said he asked for something sexual.... Your words alone of both your actions are out of line for one person in your little party to be married.

"This was just rude and uncalled for. You don't know me personally to call me scum and I will thank you to bring your attitude somewhere else"

So are your actions. Funny how you think of only yourself but you don't give a rats ass about what his wife might think. You poooooooor thing. Someone told you how disgusting both your actions are. Booo hooo..
Funny how you bypassed my question about is wife finding out. You know what you are doing is wrong but you don't like it when someone tells you it is? lol

"And as for being a homewrecker, if his home was already broken, I wouldn't be wrecking it."
That's not for you to decide if it's wrecked or not. You aren't at his home seeing their relationship. You are just the one waiting on his texts/phone calls.

I'll post what I want when I want. Deal with it.

Funny how you think of only yourself but you don't give a rats ass about what his wife might think. You poooooooor thing.

hey, ginger, what are you? Holy mary? a moralist? I'v never heard about someone falling in love with anyone and being just an inch "worried" about an unknown wife somewhere. maybe because I'm Euroean, but for us this now sounds quite..hilarious.
whre are you from? the land of hypocrisy?

I'm from the land of don't mess with someone's marriage. Um how am I a hypocrite?

The op judging this man's WIFE but asking not to be judged for the mess she's stepped in is a hypocrite.

Anyone have any knowledge on behaviors he might show if his marriage was indeed "sour" as Candlz stated? I adore him (and have for several years) but I don't want to be strung along because he likes the attention... And does anyone know of any good ways for me to just get him to be straight with me?

*****Ask him—— It's the only way you will know for sure. As someone else said on this board, we don't know him, you do. So it's impossible for posters to analyze the situation/him.

As far as behavior is concerned, you probably won't find any that 'jump out at you'. Remember Scorps are private people, they can put on a face for the rest of the world, but are feeling totally different on the inside.

Ok, thank you to all who gave me some constructive advice. I greatly appreciate that. I came here looking for some insight into understanding some confusing behavior so that I could try to figure out if this man I know MIGHT just be available in the future, and some of you did try to give suggestions. A few however turned it into an accusation party. Therefore, I no longer need the advice as I do not wish to sit here and defend myself to people who have never even met me. Thank You.

And gingerscorp, I see you just got married... well no wonder this is a sore topic for you. I hope YOUR marriage lasts forever... but you have to realize that believing that ALL marriages do is just naive.

And also, your comment: "Not with people like you walking around "seeing" married men. And just because YOU were unhappy it doesn't speak for anyone elses marriage. So because your marriage didn't work out (surprise surprise) doesn't mean his or anyone elses cant. It's people like you that don't help that matter."...

Dont treetrunking judge why my marriage went bad. You don't know me and thats none of your business. He was abusive and I got fed up. If you think its right to stay in an abusive marriage, then maybe you will be blessed with knowing how it feels someday and when you come to the boards and say how awful it is, I will be the first one to laugh and say 'surprise surprise'.


Tasha2, your last comment made pretty much summed it up... if he wanted to be with me, he would. So $ screw the advice about how to understand scorpios. Asking here has left a bitter taste in my mouth. I will just continue to be myself as I have the past X years I have known him and whatever fate has in store for me, so be it.


Good day all.

... If you are going to be involved with a Scorp; you will have to get used to dealing with harsh truths and realities. Hearing things not sugar coated...

everyone likes the niceties of life.... but it is often the harsh advice that hits home.. as it is the truth....

You did come on here and ask not to judge you being interested in a married man.... then ask for advice

thats like saying.... hey I have a red car,.... but dont judge me... now, what colour is my car....?



because your scenario was different, its easy to project that onto his... but perhaps he really wants it to work somehow, and from what I know Scorps can be faithful until the bitter end...

These people have given you top notch advice in their scorpion way, if you have a bitter taste, it seems harsh and rude.. but ....but it has made you think.

You asked how long you need to be patient. But that was not really what I was getting at. Your 'intent' has to be that you have moved on. This means that you really really have to move on dispelling thoughts or fantasys about being with him.

If it was meant to be, and he wants out, and wants you... then he will leave her.... but something tells me there is more to it... jus the text message comment... perhaps she supports him financially... nevertheless... its a mess really, and you are better off OUT of it...even though it hurts I know... but you will look back and be thankful in the end.

My advise to you is also to drop the work thing. Find somebody else to do the job if you can. It should be a clean stop/break... no excuses.

Please dont waste your time. Manifest someone available who will give can give you better than nothing 🙂

Thankyou. At least your advice was tactful. I appreciate that. 🙂

"when you come to the boards and say how awful it is, I will be the first one to laugh and say 'surprise surprise'."

What a peach. Just goes to show your character. I unlike you respect marriage and did even before I got married. So my so called "sore spot" is towards people like you who care's for nothing but yourself. I have nothing to worry about in my marriage so no worries there 😉



Morrisey hit the nail on the head. You came here asking advice on how to "deal" with a married man. The Scorp board. Think about that. Did you really think we were just gonna give you a whopping "OK!" and give you advice on how to continue on with your selfish actions?

Please.

Wow...ok.
Please don't take this the wrong way or that I'm being critical of your situation, but there's pretty much a fat chance in hell he will ever leave his wife. That's the honest truth.
As you said in your OP "NOT so you can judge based on marital status, sometimes people DO stay in marriages just because they don't want to break tradition, let the relatives down, deal with the hassle of divorce, etc"

This is right on about Scorps. They will often stay in a bad marriage for these reasons. I do not think you should expect anything more then a eff buddy from him. He's probably really confused and that's why are you are getting these mixed and weird messages from him. I wouldn't expect much from him. I wish I could say different, but I don't think it's good to give you false hope. Your best bet is to break it off with him before you really get hurt. Unfortunetely I don't have a good feeling about this one and it may be inevitable that your heart could get broken if you get any deeper.

Good luck to you and only the best!

"Tasha2, your last comment made pretty much summed it up... if he wanted to be with me, he would. So $ screw the advice about how to understand scorpios. Asking here has left a bitter taste in my mouth. I will just continue to be myself as I have the past X years I have known him and whatever fate has in store for me, so be it."

Oh honey...I know advice here can be tough. But, you knew that coming in if you've been reading posts for a while. There is no sugar coating here and people tell it like it is...especially scorps on the scorp board.

I'm sympathetic to your situation only cause I really try and not judge one's personal situation as it's not my place. Doesn't always happen, but I do try.
Understanding scorps is something I would study up on instead of saying screw it. I think this will help you...

But in the end, I would get out now!! More like yesterday...

Thank You Ramfishtwins - You also were tactful. That was all I was requesting. Honest opinions about the male scorp and what HE might be thinking put in a simple tactful way. Some manners. Not a bashing. I am not an idiot. That is why I am THINKING this over and asking opinions. I have had a guard up for over 2 years. It will remain that way unless he becomes single... Thanks to those of you who gave constructive, tactful advice. 🙂

Oh, and just to clarify... He isn't an eff buddy either. There was a physical incident but we did NOT sleep together and it was nothing majorly sexual. That is the extent of the physical, so NO, he isn't an eff buddy either... 🙂

Wasn't saying he is currently. I'm saying that's what he could be wanting for the present or future.

Saying not to expect much more than that. I know several scorps who mess around on their wives with ladies who are just that because they will never leave their wives.

I love you AS!!!

Thankyou ariessun. I hear your loud and clear. I most certainly DO think about all of these issues. I wouldnt even be considering whether or not he might ever be single if I hadn't heard him speak to her on the phone a couple of times as well as heard her on speaker and BOTH were snotty to each other. It brang back memories of the last 2 years of my marriage - believe me it was not pleasant to be standing there to hear that. Add to that the fact that I know there has been at LEAST 2 seperations in the past few years... So thus why I have even been thinking about this. I could find someone else - I dont doubt that at all, BUT I am one of those people who believes sometimes things happen for a reason and since we cross each others paths A LOT, I see his name all over (license plates, billboards, etc.) everytime I think "WALK AWAY", it makes me wonder if there is something fated to this situation in the back of my mind. NOT that I should interfere - just maybe I should observe for a while and see what happens with his situation. See?

My whole life I have been VERY impatient. I have missed opportunities (big ones) that I would not have missed, had I had a little patience. I regretted it too many times that I just didnt wait a little longer. Ironically, I learned patience through knowing him and for once I just don't want to miss a chance at something that could make me happy (NOT that I am not happy now but we all know there are different kinds of happiness in everyone's life). So thus I have been trying to analyze this situation in my head BEFORE I walk away from yet another thing in my life and kick myself later. AGAIN.

Thanks much 🙂

Posted by the_quiet_one76
Thankyou ariessun. I hear your loud and clear. I most certainly DO think about all of these issues. I wouldnt even be considering whether or not he might ever be single if I hadn't heard him speak to her on the phone a couple of times as well as heard her on speaker and BOTH were snotty to each other. It brang back memories of the last 2 years of my marriage - believe me it was not pleasant to be standing there to hear that. Add to that the fact that I know there has been at LEAST 2 seperations in the past few years... So thus why I have even been thinking about this. I could find someone else - I dont doubt that at all, BUT I am one of those people who believes sometimes things happen for a reason and since we cross each others paths A LOT, I see his name all over (license plates, billboards, etc.) everytime I think "WALK AWAY", it makes me wonder if there is something fated to this situation in the back of my mind. NOT that I should interfere - just maybe I should observe for a while and see what happens with his situation. See?

My whole life I have been VERY impatient. I have missed opportunities (big ones) that I would not have missed, had I had a little patience. I regretted it too many times that I just didnt wait a little longer. Ironically, I learned patience through knowing him and for once I just don't want to miss a chance at something that could make me happy (NOT that I am not happy now but we all know there are different kinds of happiness in everyone's life). So thus I have been trying to analyze this situation in my head BEFORE I walk away from yet another thing in my life and kick myself later. AGAIN.

Thanks much 🙂

I completely get this. I often do the same thing. But, you have to wonder if all the heartache you will most likely experience is worth the wait. A wait you may be doing in vain. If it was fate or meant to be, he will leave his wife and be with you. You must stand back...go about your life and see what comes of it. Let him go...

Yes. Fate is fate. I suppose it would happen either way if its meant to. I can't let him go though... I just have to avoid him. He works for my family so it is not only in my say alone whether he works around here. But I avoided him for 4 months last year in an attempt to keep distance. I can do it again if need be. I will miss talking with him and seeing him but that's going to be the case no matter when I do it.

Yes... thanks

"I can do it again if need be."

IT NEED BE!!!

You will continue to be miserable if you don't let him go. What's the point of hanging on to a man who's not present with you?

...I believe in signs etc... but sometimes these signs that you are seeing may be alerting you to your 'own' behaviour/ and not signs that you should be with him. He has come into your life to teach you something .

Perhaps there are abusive issues you may still need to look at in yourself.. how to stop attracting them,, he may not seem abusive,,. but he is in a different way... thats all... and if it were my family I would suggest that they get somebody else to work, as I was not comfortable with him...

... are you still holding on to hope? cos you are going to get hurt...

clean breaks are hard... but thas what you need right now girl... 🙂

Posted by ariessun
hey rft! 🙂
here's the deal...i make it a point never to listen to someone with little to no life experience who's been married for all of 2 seconds anyway. never mind one, who was so desparate for attention they had to actually point out a bartender flirthing with her, to her fiance, and who actually had the gall to rub it in his face..and then proceed to whine about him blowing a gasket and couldn't understand why he was so pissed. uh huh. yea..so anyway...i think that what it means about "respecting marriage"..yea..respect the institution of marriage, but not your spouse. ((rolls eyes))
BR>

LOL Oooooo someone doesn't like me. *snort* lol I'm not sure what your little outburst is about or what it has to do with anything in this thread. I don't think I've ever even spoken to you.
I don't care if I'm married "all of 2 seconds" or single I know messing around with a married man is wrong. They are BOTH in the wrong. My father cheated on my mother and tore our family apart and the "other" woman had zero remorse for the fact that our family was hurting. She only thought about what SHE wanted. So... maybe I have just a little bit more experience in the matter then you think 😉


Desperate for attention? Well in that case thanks for the spotlight 😄

Oh wait... ok I see what that was all about. *rolls eyes*
Poor things. *shakes head*