The Lady Scorpio
@TheLadyScorpio
13 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154
Significant Other meeting the Opposite Sex - ALONE
No one answered...
Why not say if this is your situation and your thoughts about it pertaining to you, maybe people will be more willing to communicate.
Why not say if this is your situation and your thoughts about it pertaining to you, maybe people will be more willing to communicate.
Posted by tiki33
No one answered...
Why not say if this is your situation and your thoughts about it pertaining to you, maybe people will be more willing to communicate.
Que?
(Tiki, merely saw this thread by another member upon the Water Bearer pond. . .and there were responses though a bit lacking.)
This is neither my situation nor my thoughts pertaining to anything specific, merely a general moment of pondering.
Posted by Rabbit
Meets how?
Well since this is a hypothetical question -
Meet one on one for meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner), daily errands, fundraisers, film events etc.
- What would be too intimate for your comfort level, where you would absolutely disagree to your SO attending it alone?
- Would you stop her or convince to skip it otherwise or encourage her to go but communicate the idea that would you like to be her 'date/partner/accompaniment' for the meeting?
There are 2 girls he works with that he goes to lunch with on a regular basis, doesn't bother me because they all 3 go out together, and I know there is nothing going on between him and either of them.
Sometimes he has to go out to lunch with one or both of them to meet clients.
Otherwise, I would not like for him to go out one on one with a woman. Not anywhere. I don't see any reason for it.
Likewise he would never put up with me going out one on one with another guy. Not for any reason.
I like geocaching and I'm a member of a club here, there are lots of men and women but mostly men. He even gives me a hard time about going on outings with the group (10 + people) though I've told him more than once that's ridiculous so he puts up with that.
Sometimes he has to go out to lunch with one or both of them to meet clients.
Otherwise, I would not like for him to go out one on one with a woman. Not anywhere. I don't see any reason for it.
Likewise he would never put up with me going out one on one with another guy. Not for any reason.
I like geocaching and I'm a member of a club here, there are lots of men and women but mostly men. He even gives me a hard time about going on outings with the group (10 + people) though I've told him more than once that's ridiculous so he puts up with that.
ice to see you posting again Lady Scorp.
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
This thread have appeared upon other boards, however I bring it forth to you, my dear fellow Stingers.
If your girlfriend/boyfriend/fiancee/wife/husband etc. meets with the opposite sex alone:
- How would you feel?
*sharpen knife wait in front of door*
...LOL I'm kidding. It would really depend on the status of our relationship, but short answer it wouldn't bother me just as long as it isn't something he is hiding from me. That is when I would become suspcious.
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
- Do you tolerate it?
I have, but it was never hidden from me and he didn't make a habit of it. It happened one time. She was an ex that lived in another country visiting for the weekend. They met for lunch.
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
- If yes, how do you suppress your feelings?
click to expand
This is to suggest that it bothers me to the point where I need to suppress my feelings. For the sake of discussion, I will express the level of discomfort I am feeling to the person. If it is becoming a pattern I will state exactly that--"I am noticing you are having a lot of meetings with ______. Why is that? Is there some reason you can't invite her over here?"
Whatever comes after that will be based entirely on his response.
Posted by Rabbit
And by that I mean I want to do things with her as much as possible. I would be upset if she didn't reciprocate, just as I would expect the same of her. So no, I wouldn't care for it at all.
Interesting, with a Significant Other I feel very much the same way, wonder if it is a Stinger trait or otherwise. Although which do you seek more of, the reciprocation or merely the comforting (comfortable) company and/or attention.
If I may ask - does your wife gladly reciprocate and enjoy this level of maximised time spent with one another, considering she does have a Twin Lunar?
Posted by tiziani
Disclaimer: Not a Scorpio, at least not since the Roman Empire.
As long as it's a public place, it doesn't bother me. And as long as she doesn't mention me at all. I don't want to be involved.
Well hello hello dear tiz,
Intriguing response.
Why would you prefer your Significant Other to keep but a devoted silence and bring not a whisper nor a mention of you at all? What would be the rational behind this?
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Well since this is a hypothetical question -
Meet one on one for meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner), daily errands, fundraisers, film events etc.
- What would be too intimate for your comfort level, where you would absolutely disagree to your SO attending it alone?
- Would you stop her or convince to skip it otherwise or encourage her to go but communicate the idea that would you like to be her 'date/partner/accompaniment' for the meeting?
I'm not sure what wouldn't be too intimate. Anything involving someone I am sleeping with is intimate to me, so....
It is more about the context and reason I am being excluded and someone is being invited. It isn't black and white for me.
The last question is tricky, no? If it is your wife/husband, why wouldn't you be their date for the night? Boyfriend/girlfriend.....I can give more grace. I often look at the context when relationships are involved. There are a number of reasons why I may/may not go to an event and a number of reasons why I would/would not feel troubled/upset by this. I've thought of at least 20 scenarios while posting this.
Posted by tiziani
As long as it's a public place, it doesn't bother me. And as long as she doesn't mention me at all. I don't want to be involved.
Heh? *brush off "How to Speak Libra Guide"*
Can you explain this please.
Lol. I honestly don't know why it sooo hard for me to understand Libras. I try....but....
Okay, Tiz. I understand.
Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by TheLadyScorpio
Well since this is a hypothetical question -
Meet one on one for meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner), daily errands, fundraisers, film events etc.
- What would be too intimate for your comfort level, where you would absolutely disagree to your SO attending it alone?
- Would you stop her or convince to skip it otherwise or encourage her to go but communicate the idea that would you like to be her 'date/partner/accompaniment' for the meeting?
I'm not sure what wouldn't be too intimate. Anything involving someone I am sleeping with is intimate to me, so....
It is more about the context and reason I am being excluded and someone is being invited. It isn't black and white for me.
The last question is tricky, no? If it is your wife/husband, why wouldn't you be their date for the night? Boyfriend/girlfriend.....I can give more grace. I often look at the context when relationships are involved. There are a number of reasons why I may/may not go to an event and a number of reasons why I would/would not feel troubled/upset by this. I've thought of at least 20 scenarios while posting this.click to expand
Ay, so did I however one supposes the better question is . . . where lies the hard limit?
Where if 'such and such' boundaries were crossed, ones foot shall be put down and adamantly digging in.
Would you follow your intuition, if it tells you something is up or uneasy about and communicate it irregardless of concrete proof being available or otherwise? Some would declare love as = to blind faith and belief. . . but how many of us TRULY reach that state?
Is there a time limit where if this many hours were spent or this much attention was placed upon that 'other' individual, alone. . . where it would be deemed inappropriate? Would this differ if your Significant Other spent it this concentrated amount of hours with a colleague for 'professional reasons' as compared to a close confidante of the opposite gender for 'leisure reasons'?
Posted by tizianiPosted by PhoenixRisingPosted by tiziani
As long as it's a public place, it doesn't bother me. And as long as she doesn't mention me at all. I don't want to be involved.
Heh? *brush off "How to Speak Libra Guide"*
Can you explain this please.
Lol. I honestly don't know why it sooo hard for me to understand Libras. I try....but....
It's just simpler that way otherwise I end up with a lot of chumps in my phonebook that want to sleep with my girlfriend and I have to accompany her to the "just friends" events to ward off 1 million inappropriate jokes.
When I was younger this used to happen but now I just cut it off right from day 1.click to expand
Would this mean you are placing inexplicable amounts of faith and trust in her, that she will merely be loyal to the end, without betraying you. . . irregardless?
Since what you are giving there is 'freedom with no limits' in one sense.
PR - It is always nice to return after a break since life does call, it have been but a while and this place seems to have changed quite a bit yet remained uncannily immobile all at once.
Good to see you too. 😄
Good to see you too. 😄
Posted by tizianiPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by tizianiPosted by PhoenixRisingPosted by tiziani
As long as it's a public place, it doesn't bother me. And as long as she doesn't mention me at all. I don't want to be involved.
Heh? *brush off "How to Speak Libra Guide"*
Can you explain this please.
Lol. I honestly don't know why it sooo hard for me to understand Libras. I try....but....
It's just simpler that way otherwise I end up with a lot of chumps in my phonebook that want to sleep with my girlfriend and I have to accompany her to the "just friends" events to ward off 1 million inappropriate jokes.
When I was younger this used to happen but now I just cut it off right from day 1.
Would this mean you are placing inexplicable amounts of faith and trust in her, that she will merely be loyal to the end, without betraying you. . . irregardless?
Since what you are giving there is 'freedom with no limits' in one sense.
Hahaha am I really though?
I'm sure it looks like that on the surface but with the progression of time, usually what happens is both people are gauging each other's decision making and whether it fits within each other's routine.
It's a means to an end.click to expand
Ahhh tiz, it was a question not a statement per se and considering it is you dear Libran Gent, I doubt that would be the entire reason or cause, it would be but only the beautiful veneer upon the surface.
The fail-proof Cold War method of mutually destructive capabilities laying in each other's palms? Where the choices made will determine and provide the concrete proof as to how determined the Significant Other will be, in choosing to be loyal even when suspicious characters arrises and begin to mil about and temptations galore?
Posted by IrresistableScorp
I would trust myself going somewhere with a male friend, but I'd be a little *uneasy* with my SO doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah..double standards. I know. However, if I knew they were long time friends, I'd say 'have fun.' Just being honest.
Hello Pineapples, it have been a while. 🙂
What situations would you be uncomfortable (or even completely uncomfortable) with?
Posted by Rabbit
Scorpio moon talking but there's no way I could simply be okay with a social meeting like that.
Although I trust my wife...that doesn't mean I trust the other person and his intentions.
Suspicious? Perhaps.
+ 9873587432
[nods, nods again.]
This sentiment, completely and utterly.
Posted by capgirl69
There are 2 girls he works with that he goes to lunch with on a regular basis, doesn't bother me because they all 3 go out together, and I know there is nothing going on between him and either of them.
Sometimes he has to go out to lunch with one or both of them to meet clients.
Otherwise, I would not like for him to go out one on one with a woman. Not anywhere. I don't see any reason for it.
Likewise he would never put up with me going out one on one with another guy. Not for any reason.
I like geocaching and I'm a member of a club here, there are lots of men and women but mostly men. He even gives me a hard time about going on outings with the group (10 + people) though I've told him more than once that's ridiculous so he puts up with that.
Nice to see you come by, resident Mademoiselle capgirl with your lovely Stinger Gent. (Always did enjoy your stories, the chemistry, quirks and odd moments between the both of you. They will forever be welcomed I should think, upon our pond.)
To summarise, for the sake of 'professional reasons' you would deem such behaviour acceptable and in any circumstances otherwise you would not? If so, in which realms would you never accept it occurring?
Do you suppose this mutual feeling between the both of you, arrises from jealousy or possessiveness?
Hi TLS
hmmm... its a tricky one, I'm a bit like Pineapples... Double standards-ish...?!
Also, my group of friends and I are possibly a little immature, most of them are only just getting married and we are all very close regardless of gender.
If my SO was worried about one of those friends I'd laugh it off initially and then be a bit stunned- we've been friends so long if it would've happened it would've- if you know what I mean? But we can spend huge amounts of time together (especially me and a male taurus mate) entirely platonically and I would guess that a SO might be uncomfortable with that...
I've had boyfriends I've never worried about straying and boyfriends I've worried about constantly- so maybe it depends on that dynamic too?
Also, I think old friends are safe... Its the new ones I would worry about!
hmmm... its a tricky one, I'm a bit like Pineapples... Double standards-ish...?!
Also, my group of friends and I are possibly a little immature, most of them are only just getting married and we are all very close regardless of gender.
If my SO was worried about one of those friends I'd laugh it off initially and then be a bit stunned- we've been friends so long if it would've happened it would've- if you know what I mean? But we can spend huge amounts of time together (especially me and a male taurus mate) entirely platonically and I would guess that a SO might be uncomfortable with that...
I've had boyfriends I've never worried about straying and boyfriends I've worried about constantly- so maybe it depends on that dynamic too?
Also, I think old friends are safe... Its the new ones I would worry about!
^^^
Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by capgirl69
There are 2 girls he works with that he goes to lunch with on a regular basis, doesn't bother me because they all 3 go out together, and I know there is nothing going on between him and either of them.
Sometimes he has to go out to lunch with one or both of them to meet clients.
Otherwise, I would not like for him to go out one on one with a woman. Not anywhere. I don't see any reason for it.
Likewise he would never put up with me going out one on one with another guy. Not for any reason.
I like geocaching and I'm a member of a club here, there are lots of men and women but mostly men. He even gives me a hard time about going on outings with the group (10 + people) though I've told him more than once that's ridiculous so he puts up with that.
Nice to see you come by, resident Mademoiselle capgirl with your lovely Stinger Gent. (Always did enjoy your stories, the chemistry, quirks and odd moments between the both of you. They will forever be welcomed I should think, upon our pond.)
To summarise, for the sake of 'professional reasons' you would deem such behaviour acceptable and in any circumstances otherwise you would not? If so, in which realms would you never accept it occurring?
Do you suppose this mutual feeling between the both of you, arrises from jealousy or possessiveness?click to expand
I would never like for him to go out with another woman for any reason. I can be very trusting in a relationship, to a fault, and I have been naive in the past about supposed friendships and it burned me big time.
For him, I suppose some of it is possessiveness, due to Venus in Scorpio. Of course, he has 4 Scorp placements (sun, merc, venus, pluto). Some of it is protectiveness. Like he tells me with the geocaching guys that I shouldn't trust them, it's not safe for me to go out with a group of men on a hiking trip. But to me, I think the opposite, I'm safer with them than I am by myself. I really don't like to go hiking by myself, because I don't think it's very safe, in case I fall or something. But the Scorp doesn't like hiking or geocaching.
He actually suggested once that they could gang rape me or something. I really don't think that is a possibility with these men. I have met them before at geocaching meets and h
got cut off...
and he has also. They are fathers and grandfathers, normal people.
and he has also. They are fathers and grandfathers, normal people.
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
This thread have appeared upon other boards, however I bring it forth to you, my dear fellow Stingers.
If your girlfriend/boyfriend/fiancee/wife/husband etc. meets with the opposite sex alone:
- How would you feel?
- Do you tolerate it?
If no, what would you do to resolve the situation?
If yes, how do you suppress your feelings?
- Any exceptions to the rule?
I have to point out something here. I get your question(s)...but
Your avatar shows half of a female dressed in a dominant rubber/leather outfit carrying a whip
and these questions just don't jive with it...
So my question to you is...what are your answers in the order asked. I'm really curious.
If your girlfriend/boyfriend/fiancee/wife/husband etc. meets with the opposite sex alone:
- How would you feel? My ex did it all the time for business. Different states in hotels. I trusted him, and as far as I know he never strayed
- Do you tolerate it? Yes..did I joke about the what ifs subtley? Yea..wanted the guy know I cared.
If no, what would you do to resolve the situation?
If yes, how do you suppress your feelings? Never did, we communicated really well.
- Any exceptions to the rule? Yea...non-business related..no fucking way. Why would he?
- How would you feel? My ex did it all the time for business. Different states in hotels. I trusted him, and as far as I know he never strayed
- Do you tolerate it? Yes..did I joke about the what ifs subtley? Yea..wanted the guy know I cared.
If no, what would you do to resolve the situation?
If yes, how do you suppress your feelings? Never did, we communicated really well.
- Any exceptions to the rule? Yea...non-business related..no fucking way. Why would he?
Posted by Rabbit
That would be the...I wouldn't say EMBRACE...but maybe the AWARENESS...of the evil dark side of humanity.
We Scorps are intensely aware of how disgusting people can be.
Truth be told my wife has been in several business trips with nothing but men from her office and they gone out for drinks in the evenings.
I don't worry about her being inappropriate. I worry about the asshats getting drunk and without their wives around, thinking maybe they can weasel their way into something with her. There are still a lot of misogynistic pigs out there.
I would hate for my wife to be subjected to that and I would hate to have beat the living shit out of some prick with his own arm after I rip it off him.
hmm. Very interesting. Thanks for this response!
Posted by Rabbit
We Scorps are intensely aware of how disgusting people can be.
Truth be told my wife has been in several business trips with nothing but men from her office and they gone out for drinks in the evenings.
True..my ex would tell me about those mishaps when the female would get drunk and hit on the married guys there including him. My favorite part about this was I'd be at the business parties/dinners on many occasions when the company invited us and get to look these women in the eye and smile. Really made them uncomfortable..the other wives weren't as nice. Was fun to watch.😉
Posted by tizianiPosted by LilliLou
^^^
Why won't my Scorp reply to my texts though, LilliLou—click to expand
a. she's still thinking
b. she forgot/ unintentionally rude
c. she is being intentionally rude
d. she wasn't asked a direct question
e. a combination of any of the above...?
Whats the situation Tiz?
Posted by tizianiPosted by LilliLouPosted by tizianiPosted by LilliLou
^^^
Why won't my Scorp reply to my texts though, LilliLou—
a. she's still thinking
b. she forgot/ unintentionally rude
c. she is being intentionally rude
d. she wasn't asked a direct question
e. a combination of any of the above...?
Whats the situation Tiz?
I was just joking about DXP's most commonly posted topic 😛
If I ever happen to text a Scorp again, at least I'm prepared now though.click to expand
DXP- most common answer C.
Posted by Rabbit
Scorpio moon talking but there's no way I could simply be okay with a social meeting like that.
Although I trust my wife...that doesn't mean I trust the other person and his intentions.
Suspicious? Perhaps.
He could have all the intentions in the world. She would still be making the choice to act on that or not, soooooo I would challenge your assertion that you (general you) trust your SO to be faithful based on that statement.
os....
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Ay, so did I however one supposes the better question is . . . where lies the hard limit?
Where if 'such and such' boundaries were crossed, ones foot shall be put down and adamantly digging in.
I guess this would be any behaviour that would compromise our relationship and put my ability to trust him in doubt. I don't issue ultimatums. If you are here, it is because you are making the choice to be here. Any man I am intimately involved with would know my limits, so I leave it to him to demonstrate he will respect that and draw any line that needs to be drawn to prevent any confusion on her part--or mine.
I will express my concerns by inquiring to see where he is mentally/emotionally, but I will not tell a man what he can and cannot do to maintain a relationship with me. His actions will dictate if I stay or leave.
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Would you follow your intuition, if it tells you something is up or uneasy about and communicate it irregardless of concrete proof being available or otherwise? Some would declare love as = to blind faith and belief. . . but how many of us TRULY reach that state?
Well, what exactly are we talking about now? It doesn't sound like a simple, "are you okay with your SO meeting with the opposite sex" type of question anymore. This question sounds more like "what would you do if you suspect he cheating with this person"?
If this became an issue where I was wondering if he was cheating, then yes. I always listen to my intuition. It hasn't failed me, especially with deceitful people. I also observe very closely and pick up on things that most would miss. Especially if I am emotionally connected to my partner. Something as subtle as the tone of his voice changing when he says "her" name would cause me take note of a potential relationship. However, I'm not a lunatic lol. Just because I suspect something is "off" doesn't mean I will go off on him. Calmly inquiring is the best approach. The most important thing to me at that time is if my concerns (if reasonable) will be acknowledged and respected.click to expand
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Is there a time limit where if this many hours were spent or this much attention was placed upon that 'other' individual, alone. . . where it would be deemed inappropriate? Would this differ if your Significant Other spent it this concentrated amount of hours with a colleague for 'professional reasons' as compared to a close confidante of the opposite gender for 'leisure reasons'?
Hard to say. Ask me these questions when I'm in a mood and I would say 2 seconds is 2 seconds too long. Another day, this is not too much of a problem. Again, context is necessary to answer this question. I've never heard of a 5 hour dinner "date", so.....I'd have concerns. If it's a fundraiser that he has organized or must oversee and she is assisting him or co-managing, different story.
Yes, I believe the nature of their relationship makes a difference. While I cannot be his everything, I would like to think I am his confidante. I mean seriously? We can share a pillow and bodily fluids, but I don't know what your deepest desires/dreams/fears are? If she offers him this level of comfort I would wonder why they are not together. I'm not interested in being the person he settled for because it didn't work out with her. If it is a new relationship, I am not that concern about it. As we grow closer and we are in fact "together" and building something and she continues to hold that spot....I would have a lot of questions.
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If your girlfriend/boyfriend/fiancee/wife/husband etc. meets with the opposite sex alone:
- How would you feel?
- Do you tolerate it?
If no, what would you do to resolve the situation?
If yes, how do you suppress your feelings?
- Any exceptions to the rule?