Somewhere in the middle of words and worlds...

So... I am in the US for the time being... I came here at the end of October because my Mother was very ill. Two weeks after I arrived, I KNEW my Mother wasn't going to pull through... thought I had made the right decision in coming when I did. She is still sick, but nothing to indicate terminally. My return plane ticket was on March 1st... thought it would be enough time??_ but I didn't go... I felt that I was needed here.

Some of you might remember the story... you can refresh your memory here if you would like:
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/scorpio/not-too-serious-but-3817417/
It was very difficult to say goodbye... but until the end of February we stayed in touch via email and telephone calls. We decided that when I went back, that we would try living together... though we were both a little afraid of sacrificing our freedom.

Then... I told her that I didn't know when I was going back about a week and a half before I was supposed to go. She was angry... telling me in an email about all of the surprises that she had made for me... said and reiterated that I was 'free'. I felt really bad about disappointing her... but I didn't know what else I could do. She told me not to respond... that she would just delete my responses. I thought to be clever, sending her 8 messages in a row, completing a paragraph using only the subject lines. She wrote back telling me that she had deleted them without reading. I took it as that she was serious... and that she didn't want to hear from me... I left it alone.

I still think of her a lot... the point that we got to... the hope of what we could be. I am saddened by her hauntings... I just want to get back to my life... start again where it was interrupted... we were not finished.

Last night, she sent me an email after a month and a half of silence... an mp3 (A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera - Say Something)... adding "I just wanted to share with you one last song... don't answer me please, I'm saying goodbye".

I am NOT a Scorpio... and I am also, JUST a man. I don't want for her to be hurting... but I also can't expect for her to wait for me any longer than she has. I have not a solution for the now??_ I have no magic words I can say. Seems there has been much said in her actions as of late.

So to my paradoxical Scorpionic creatures??_ what should I be seeing and understanding between her lines??_ and how do I respond to her call ?

Welcome back David.
I'm sorry to hear about your mother.
I know all to well what it's like to have a very sick parent and watch them leave us.
You and your mom are in my prayer.

And now the Scorpius.
Your stamina and patience for this woman is astounding.
In your current situation with your mother I would expect her to have a bit more patience and understanding.
I think you should make her spit it out, stop reading between lines. She's an adult not a child.
She sounds spoiled if you ask me.

Hi David,

Sounds like you two have still haven't got the communication lines open anymore than before!

How often have you been in contact since October? If you were thinking of moving in together when you got back then sounds like you are in a full on relationship and it maybe that your downfall here is that you are not discussing this with her. I understand that you need to be there for your mother and you feel you are needed there but you booked for 4 months and then you cancelled out on going back and have told her you don't know when you are returning. Was there any discussion here?

For all she knows you are having the time of your life and making excuses. You're definitely not considering her feelings if you haven't taken her thoughts into consideration.

If you want this lady, perhaps you should actually try talking to her and listening

Sorry to hear about your mum Dave.

Posted by IrresistableScorp


Maybe it's just me, but I'd want to have my loved ones around at least for a few weeks to be my support in a time of need.

Have you asked Scorp girl to join you in the US for any amount of time in the past 5 months? Honestly, I would be very hurt if my lover was going through a difficult time and I wasn't even invited to at least be a shoulder to cry on.

^^^^^^all of this....5 months is such a long time, plus you couldn't even give her any indication on when you would be back.

It would be interesting to know if you did ask how would she feel about coming to USA or even thought about going back to spend a week with her?

Phone/Skype/Emailing is one thing, being there is another to us scorps.

Sounds like she is done waiting/hurting, and decided to cut you off. If that is the case, and it sure sounds like it to me, there is nothing you can do about it now.

On another note, did you really expect her to wait for 5 months and keep waiting indefinite? She is not damaged people, she is hurt, and feels betrayed by someone she trusted and deeply cares about..

Actually you aren't reading this thoroughly at all...his mother isn't dead, she's sick but not terminal. He just feels he is needed there.

I also feel there is no real communication here for a couple that are suppose to be planning their lives together!

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry


she sounds incredibly self-centered. it's not like you are off gallivanting the world.....your mum was sick, ffs.

I disagree, sounds like they took a while to decide to start living together and than he disappeared for a long period of time because his mom was very ill. Now his mom is better but he is still not planing to go back "because he feels like he is needed there" yet she is self centred..

granted, you did push out your return date, but seriously, you are spending time with family....she should understand that.

Pushed it out indefinite? How long do you think she should wait, she already waited for 5 months.

quite honestly, you are torturing yourself with this one, as you will never be able to do right in her eyes because she appears to only very much into herself and her own needs.

And that conclusion is based on? From his post I couldn't see anything he did right. He sent her 8 emails with content in subject box..really?? Is that the best he can do for someone he loves and is about to lose?? Your opinion seems to be biased.

but.....you will continue this David, for whatever reason you seem like you don't feel loved unless there is some suffering involved. I wish you wouldn't do that do yourself. 😢

click to expand

I agree with this, he seems to be running away from commitment...

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
you have to read the history, unlikeme....this woman has a pattern.

You raise some valid points. However, I'm still going to stick with what I said.

I'm thinking why read the history, they worked through it and decided to start living together so it didn't matter at that point why should it now? From there on, and now knowing there is such history I believe he should have done much more if he really wanted it to work.

You opinion could be biased because you do know the history? _?

Yeah I get you, and I have no problems with you supporting him and voicing your opinion.

What I find off though and have problem with is the fact that he offered a link to the history so everyone could read and possibly jump on his band wagon, judging her and feeling for his "sorry" ass. When in fact even if it's all true the only advice we could give him is to let her go, even in that case he is still to blame for not having any self respect.

He can't win...unless he mans up!

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry

it's like he loves the drama and she enjoys dishing it out. *shrugs*

Sounds like a great match _— I'm off now, enjoy your day ST

TS* lol I'm confused after all this butter..bye

Posted by LunarMaiden
Welcome back David.
I'm sorry to hear about your mother.
I know all to well what it's like to have a very sick parent and watch them leave us.
You and your mom are in my prayer.

And now the Scorpius.
Your stamina and patience for this woman is astounding.
In your current situation with your mother I would expect her to have a bit more patience and understanding.
I think you should make her spit it out, stop reading between lines. She's an adult not a child.
She sounds spoiled if you ask me.

??_ thanks for that.
No??_ she is not spoiled??_ she is just French. In fact, I think that she has been patient enough??_ no one can be expected to wait forever??_ and four months seems to be the limit for just about anyone??_ unless the end of waiting is defined by a date, which it was??_ and I broke it.

My Mother has Gastroparesis and/or Intestinal Ischemia. She has a tube connected to her stomach to drain excess acid that causes her to feel nauseous. She is fed intravenously through a picc-line. She is in the hospital for the moment??_ because of a urinary tract infection??_ having been recently moved out of ICU to stabilize her low blood pressure. She is on —Home Heath Care?? now??_ she chose hospice at Christmas time??_ but as I said, she is not terminal??_ and though she doesn't really have a life, she can live on this way for quite some time??_ laying in her Lazy-boy??_ watching television??_ accompanied with drugs and spends about a week in the hospital every 4-6 weeks due to a fever caused by any number of infections that she is susceptible to.

Posted by Impulsv
I'm so sorry David for ur mother.. It sounds she is very damaged n feels that it was an excuse to leave her. It doesn't make it right but if that's he frame of reference there is no reasoning. She is so damaged she can't even pause in think " mm maybe his mother is really I'll n he's telling the truth." Whatever u do won't work until her trust issues heal. N that's not ur responsibility to prove it over n over n over. I suggest u find a healthier trusting woman. It is sad for her that she sabatoges a good thing because she chooses to see it as rejection.

I can see her in your words??_ betrayal??_ yes??_ I think she feels betrayed. I am just not in the position to fix it for the moment. I have broken my unsaid but understood promises??_ and I refuse to make another unless I can make good of it. Not going back when I said I would was contradictive to what is innate in me.
As for her being selfish??_ well??_ we are ALL selfish when it comes to love??_ always wanting the fairytale ending??_ that fleeting —NOW, I am content?? moment that only stays long enough to realize we had it. But??_ it is never enough for the morrow??_ we will want more than what we had.
Thank you for your wishes and thought-provoking words.

Posted by Impulsv
I'm so sorry David for ur mother.. It sounds she is very damaged n feels that it was an excuse to leave her. It doesn't make it right but if that's he frame of reference there is no reasoning. She is so damaged she can't even pause in think " mm maybe his mother is really I'll n he's telling the truth." Whatever u do won't work until her trust issues heal. N that's not ur responsibility to prove it over n over n over. I suggest u find a healthier trusting woman. It is sad for her that she sabatoges a good thing because she chooses to see it as rejection.

Thank you.
I can see your meaning??_ she does in fact have some trust issues (Scorpio thing 😉 ). You are right??_ I cannot help her with this??_ it is something that would take years to fix. The father of her daughter came to the US shortly after their daughter was born??_ he was gone almost a year in pursuit of his dream. The only thing he brought back with him was a new girlfriend??_ which didn't bode so well with her. I am sure my being here has the —sensation de d?j?? vu?? for her. We are ALL damaged in one way or another.

Posted by sweethearts
Hi David,

Sounds like you two have still haven't got the communication lines open anymore than before!

How often have you been in contact since October? If you were thinking of moving in together when you got back then sounds like you are in a full on relationship and it maybe that your downfall here is that you are not discussing this with her. I understand that you need to be there for your mother and you feel you are needed there but you booked for 4 months and then you cancelled out on going back and have told her you don't know when you are returning. Was there any discussion here?

For all she knows you are having the time of your life and making excuses. You're definitely not considering her feelings if you haven't taken her thoughts into consideration.

If you want this lady, perhaps you should actually try talking to her and listening

Communication has been severed on her part. From October until about the end of February, we spoke on the phone at least once per week??_ anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours, with a lot of email exchanges in between. Discussions ended when I said I wasn't coming??_ yet.
She knows the situation??_ I thought she might be able to relate because she lost her mother 10 years ago??_ something that she still has difficulty with. Still, it is very likely that she does think that —I am having the time of my life—?_ not sure how I can counter that??_ truthfully, I might think the same thing if the roles were reversed??_ but I will assure you??_ the level of fun that I am having is right up there next to null.

Posted by IrresistableScorp
Am I the only one who read the part that David has been away from Scorp for 5 months?

I'm very sorry that your mother died. That is so hard. Maybe it's just me, but I'd want to have my loved ones around at least for a few weeks to be my support in a time of need.

Have you asked Scorp girl to join you in the US for any amount of time in the past 5 months? Honestly, I would be very hurt if my lover was going through a difficult time and I wasn't even invited to at least be a shoulder to cry on. You've been together for over a year and are talking about moving in right?

Frankly if you were my lover and you pulled away like you are doing now to your scorp. I would definitely question the foundation of our relationship.

People who love eachother want to be together. Need to be together. Especially during the hard times.

I actually did ask her if she would be willing to come to the US for a stay??_ she never answered that question in her second to last email to me??_ where she expressed her utter disappointment??_ deleting my responses before reading them. Incidentally, her daughter was appointed this job to make sure that she actually never even saw them. My —pulling away?? was meant to give her some time. From what I have seen, usually it is her emotions that dictate her reactions and she makes her rationalizations after the fact.
I agree with your last point —People who love eachother want to be together. Need to be together. Especially during the hard times.?? You know??_ I haven't slept well for awhile??_ I lay awake for at least an hour before I can sleep??_ thinking of her??_ how I disappointed her??_ and trying to solve the puzzle in my head of how it is that I can fix it. I know this door is closing??_ and I am out of time to figure it all out.

😢 is there any hope for relationships on the axis of opposition??

Let her calm down a little but don't give up...you also need to re-think about what you intend to do and how long you intend to stay. Your mother is important but so is your future and when you do talk to her again, have some real answers of what is happening.

Out of curiosity, did you chuck your job in? AND your apartment? You've uprooted your whole life in France by the sounds.

On another note, I'm visiting there on May 22-25th...do you want me to meet her and put in a good word lol

Posted by David13

So to my paradoxical Scorpionic creatures??_ what should I be seeing and understanding between her lines??_

So you ask paradoxical scorpio creatures for an opinion, yet you only consider answers that go in line with your thinking? Hypocritical, but no surprise.

and how do I respond to her call ?

click to expand

Her call? I thought she cut you off. Stop playing games, and work on yourself, she's not the problem here.