The MOOD SWINGS ..JEZUS...The MOOD SWINGS!!!!!!!!!

I'm just fanning through the Scorpionic mist.. trying to weather the mood swings of my scorp.

Dear Scorp,
Yes, I get it. when you get stressed you want to sit back in your own zone -Undisturbed- while you're mentally trying to figure things out. I don't interfere,I give you your space..then we look up and -A WEEK- has gone by.
You feel bad/"obligated" so,you try to check in every 3 or so days..either through Text or fb message, with boring small talk.."How's the family?", "How's the weather?"..(I HATE small talk.)..Then -POOF-..you're back in the zone.

I fear the older I get the less tolerant I get with these "Fade into Black" modes...I can be the most patient...but There are days where I'm like "Nahhh man...all this for WHAT??" The less we talk, the more detached I feel. I just wish you were more of the "Talk it out" types...(like my Merc in Gem self)

You just better be beyond fukkin ELATED and SHOW it too..when you turn around to find me here -STILL.

Signed,
An antsy Venus in Aries..

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Hug it out?

I really could use one.. too bad he's an OCEAN away. 😢

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Aww, maybe an animated gif of the hugging action to tide you by?

Thanks EEE.

Is he a military man?

@SS: No..He's in West Africa. LDRs are GRAND aren't they?? -__-

@Implusiv: Aww man Frustrating isn't it??...your Taurus has at least GIVEN you a reason for his disappearance..its the holidays so work will be cook up stress and grind nerves. My Scorp just unplugged..THEN checked in (out of obligation) and has YET to tell me what he's struggling with..smh.. This was the 2nd week of this nonsense. How can I be supportive when I'm left clueless?? ....Trying to be patient. Whatever it is..I hope it ends SOON.

@Novlady: Thank you, Thank you...THANK you.

Ohhh, yea, those are tough. You seem to be handling it well nonetheless. All the best to you, lady!

Posted by Impulsv
interesting how were opposite and the men hadle it differenly. I acually prefer the checking in so I bet he thinks he's doing it the right way.To me him telling me his hectic schedule and saying I'll talk to you later and five days nothing makes me frustrated. If he'd check in every 3rd day it would appease. So I bet he thinks he way hes going about it is the right way as Taurus probably thinks she know ill call her when I'm able.LOL But acually hearing you say the reasing is helping me a bit,lol Hope my insight helps.

Lol!! yea..quite a switcheroo..lol
OMG..I wouldn't sit easily with that "See you later" =5 days either.The check-ins are fine..its just..I want IN on his struggles too.
His joy = MY joys..& His struggles/pains..(from what I am forced to see)..are just -His.
..NOT fair.

...sigh.


@SS: Thanks!

Posted by Impulsv
Well he didn't say it that way. After date said we need to do this again. Then mon after text thorough email said hope ur day and work was good. Ill talk to u later after end of convo. But yes it's killing it actually may be dead.

aww don't give up just yet.. maybe a suggestion for an adjustment could be made? Once my Scorp pops back up..that's what I'm going to do (Of course, in a calm manner). Being in the dark is no fun.

Posted by NovemberSun
Makes me think of the "Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus" books. The author talks much on men "rubber banding" and women struggling with returning to the same level of intimacy when they return. Men needing their cave time and women needing reassurance. I find that to be a tough balancing act. And, astrologically speaking, Scorpios are tough at balanced give and take.

I'm reading "Crucial Conversations" right now (which I feel any woman dating, especially a Scorpio, should have...lol). It's about how to make most any conversation safe enough to be discussed.

SERIOUSLY....that Rubber banding is NOTHING funny. When silence goes on too long I feel partially ,if not, FULLY detached. By the time they return.

!!UPDATE!!- finally got some NEW dialogue this morning. we Chatted on FB.

He asked: How are you? How is everyone?
ME: I'm fine. Everyone is good...I'm Getting ready for church..
Him: Nice.
Me: Is everything ok?...its been TOOO quiet lately. What's been on your mind??
He said: Nothing...You've been busy" (I knooow he's not trying to push blame on me here!! hmmph!)
Me: Not too busy for you though...
HIM: Then what happened oh!
Me: You tell me..
Him: I've been waiting to hear from you, before I go to bed, and when I wake up, but nothing.
Me: Call me
Him: Ok, I'll top-up tomorrow. don't have anymore units, I'll reconnect the internet, so we can skype too.(SN:I HATE the networks there..run out of minutes FAST and the lines always cut on and off during skype or phone calls, NEVER consistent

Me: oh ok...
Him: u ok? What's on your mind?
Me: We'll talk, when we do TALK.
Him: Ok. Pray for me.
Me: Bye..xoxo

-End.

Grrr.. One thing I don't do is cater. It seems like thats what he was trying to have me do all the calling—
No. A man has to WORK. & By God, he's going to LEARN that I'm not the one to do EVERYTHING in this.
So he really stepped back, to see if I'd call?? wow.
I don't care WHAT the circumstance is..he won't hear from me until HE does..

We'll see.

I wouldn't read too much into that. I'm dealing with a nearly identical situation with a Scorpio ex-gf. She stopped answering regularly, but still wants to be in touch. We'll see is the right approach. If it's annoying you, put his ass on the back burner and go hunting.

Posted by Scorp73
I wouldn't read too much into that. I'm dealing with a nearly identical situation with a Scorpio ex-gf. She stopped answering regularly, but still wants to be in touch. We'll see is the right approach. If it's annoying you, put his ass on the back burner and go hunting.

This wouldn't be the 1st time he pulled this though. and I'm getting annoyed quite frankly of these.. "lemme Pull back to see if SHE'LL call me" ..games/tests.. I'm NOT going to play them. He can and will wait an Eternity for me to entertain that. I'm putting his azz on "simmer" ..for a Hunting I will go!

Posted by xxnightbynight

Signed,
An antsy Venus in Aries..

LOLOL

click to expand

..LOL... it was the only way I could describe this impatience. its crazy.

Every Scorp is different but I find that you're either cut out to deal with them or not.. If it's not your style to cater, then don't. Most of them do require some amount of fussing over them but it's just their way. My Scorp (a year and a half relationship)retreats as well, sometimes letting me in on the issues and sometimes not. In dealing with them, you WILL have to do the checking in on them and initiate any conversation reassuring them that you are there..but sorry hun the mood swings arent going anywhere. Mine will push through his issues to communicate even if it's minimal but that comes with maturity~ The up side to all this is when they do snap out of it, there's no better mate..
Good luck. Hope this helped~

@ TAURUSbelle The hair is cute!

@XXnightbynight: lol..Cool!

@NOVEMBERSun: Balance is not only required..its a MUST. I can't and won't do all the work.

@DLish:You're absolutely right, Its NOT my style to cater/do all the work. For me to fuss over a man, to pet and coax him into talking to me..it just won't happen...LOL. And to be honest, its my NO-nonsense rigidity and strong-mindedness that attracts the Scorps to me even more. (After all we're BOTH fixed) This would be my 3rd Scorp. Scorps somehow always find ME. I enjoy their intellect, passion and intensity. We always vibe well. They are DELICIOUS individuals...lol
But the tests and mindgames that they give to see IF I care..I DON'T and WON'T indulge in. I stomp on it at the gate, so that they respect my position. Play games with toys...NOT this Taurean woman.

I AM however, here to communicate, support & offer more TACTILE and practical ways of solving issues. That's just how I see things. While I am glad my Scorp pushed through to make contact with me..the elephant is still there.
I'll continue to be here for him whenever he's ready to talk, but until then, I'll be grazing the green luscious pastures.

@PhoenixRising: Thanks hun!

The EXCESSIVE EYE SHADOW ..JEZUS... The EXCESSIVE EYE SHADOW!!!!!!!!!

lol..ooh P angel.. Its ok.. I do Freelance Make-Up. My style ain't for everyone..lol
Only the BOLD and BRAVE can rock my looks.

Posted by P-Angel
The EXCESSIVE EYE SHADOW ..JEZUS... The EXCESSIVE EYE SHADOW!!!!!!!!!

THE EXCESSIVE TROLLING ..JEZUS... THE EXECISSIVE TROLLING!!!!!!!!!!

There, are you happy? I fed you. Now go back and hide under your bridge.

I saw that clip about the moneky in IKEA and thought of you, Blingy.

The make up looks a tad whorish ... and I agree, Tauruses can easily rock that whore look quite effortlessly

She is a very pretty lady, and I like make up on women ... however, that Bold (as she called it) is too much.

Her Bold looks gaudy.





Now, this is much better, though still alot, not gaudy looking, and not whorish.

Posted by TAURUSbelle

My Scorp just unplugged..THEN checked in (out of obligation) and has YET to tell me what he's struggling with..smh.. This was the 2nd week of this nonsense. How can I be supportive when I'm left clueless?? ....Trying to be patient. Whatever it is..I hope it ends SOON.

He didn't just unplugged, he's been unplugged from you and you from him ... considering this is an LDR, which means the two of you aren't plugged into each other at all, expect for in words with no action backing it up.

Whatever he tells you he's struggling with ... again, just words. There's no way for you to know anything except what he chooses to tell you, and you have no ability to comfort, except in whatever words you choose to tell him.

No physical bond .... just empty words promising the physical exists.

You are always left clueless ... that is the nature of an LDR. You only have whatever clues he chooses to let you in on, everything else you are clueless about.

What he actually says or does, you are totally clueless about, and have to rely soley on his words.

My question is why would a lady as attractive as you not be able to get a man who is physically present in her life? And furthermore, are Bulls so grounded to the earth that they don't realize that chemistry has to be physical in order to emotionally bond?

Posted by Scorp73

Posted by P-Angel
The EXCESSIVE EYE SHADOW ..JEZUS... The EXCESSIVE EYE SHADOW!!!!!!!!!

THE EXCESSIVE TROLLING ..JEZUS... THE EXECISSIVE TROLLING!!!!!!!!!!
There, are you happy? I fed you. Now go back and hide under your bridge.

Lol..Thanks Scorp73.

Posted by everevolvingepithet
I think it looks quite nice, actually.🙂

Thanks EEE 🙂

Posted by P-Angel
I saw that clip about the moneky in IKEA and thought of you, Blingy.
The make up looks a tad whorish ... and I agree, Tauruses can easily rock that whore look quite effortlessly

Your opinion is just that...YOURS.
TAUREANS can rock ANY look effortlessly..
Whorish to you..
Highly pigmented Electric blue/green for me.

SN: The blue/green is NOT an everyday look. I take it P-angel likes more neutral/natural tones.
That IS what I wear mainly.

Posted by BullGem
Love her eyes!

click to expand

Thanks Bullgem

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by TAURUSbelle

My Scorp just unplugged..THEN checked in (out of obligation) and has YET to tell me what he's struggling with..smh.. This was the 2nd week of this nonsense. How can I be supportive when I'm left clueless?? ....Trying to be patient. Whatever it is..I hope it ends SOON.

He didn't just unplugged, he's been unplugged from you and you from him ... considering this is an LDR, which means the two of you aren't plugged into each other at all, expect for in words with no action backing it up.

Whatever he tells you he's struggling with ... again, just words. There's no way for you to know anything except what he chooses to tell you, and you have no ability to comfort, except in whatever words you choose to tell him.

No physical bond .... just empty words promising the physical exists.
You are always left clueless ... that is the nature of an LDR. You only have whatever clues he chooses to let you in on, everything else you are clueless about.

What he actually says or does, you are totally clueless about, and have to rely soley on his words.

My question is why would a lady as attractive as you not be able to get a man who is physically present in her life? And furthermore, are Bulls so grounded to the earth that they don't realize that chemistry has to be physical in order to emotionally bond?

click to expand

Thanks for FINALLY addressing the topic P-Angel. I agree, in LDRs there is nothing but words until proven with action. However I disagree, as a Bull, not all emotional bonds have to necessarily commence with the physical. I am more concerned with connecting mentally/intellectually, before the "physical connection" is even presented. That's just ME. As for dating men who are more physically present..I have dated locally.. but I bore and tire easily of the typical day to day..I just wanted to connect with someone DIFFERENT culturally..someone that I could learn different things from first hand. Keep in mind: Empty words and/or promises can be found here on home turf as well as Internationally.

This bovine IS definitely free to graze. I will keep my options open.

You are so pretty Taurusbelle!

Posted by lnana04
You are so pretty Taurusbelle!

Thank you. 🙂

UPDATE
Ladies and Gentleman...The SCORP has RE-emerged.
At approx 5:14am this morning, he finally BROKE and called. (its 4hrs ahead for him)
I have just survived what seemed to have been an everlasting "POWER STRUGGLE"..

Oooomyyygaaawd. -___-...SOoo unnecessary!

The convo went as follows:

ME: "Hello?"

Scorp: "Baby Cakes!! Good Morning love? Did I wake you?" (His lil English Accent..started to melt my icicles)

ME: Good morning..to what do I owe this pleasure?

SCORP: I'm sorry I haven't called you sooner, I wanted to call that same Sunday when we chatted on FB, but you know how the networks are here. on-off, on-off..

ME: Yes,I know how they are. -Inconsistent.- ..What's up?

SCORP: Nothing,I'm over my boys house now, once I noticed he had a working connection I decided to call you ASAP. How are you? I've Missed you like a MAD man. I've started talking to myself. What are you DOING to me woman??"

ME: LOL..Madman huh? and just WHAT have you been saying to yourself? I've done nothing to you. (*I Roll my eyes*)

SCORP: Where have you been? What have you been up to? I always check my phone and FB to see if you left me any messages...But you left nothing. I must confess, I've been STALKING your page to see if you've posted new pics or made any changes/updates everyday...but saw nothing. Why you've gone mute? WHY didn't you say "Hi"?? or "I miss you"?? (...I thought to myself "GOOD. I made NO changes on PURPOSE!")

ME: Well, I was giving you the space you desired. I figured you were going through something but you didn't want to tell me. I'm not going to force you to talk to me, so You know how to reach me.

SCORP: Yes I do, but still...you said NOTHING? Did you miss me at all?? Everytime I wanted to write you I'd stop and say, let me wait, maybe SHE'LL write to me 1st.. Were you waiting for me to write you 1st?? Are you TESTING me?? Are we in some type of competition?? What is it??

ME: Yes, I missed you.. No I'm not testing you. I don't play games, don't have time for them. I just thought it'd be better to hear from you when you were in the mood to talk, like right now.

ME: Its really good hearing from you, But I don't want to hear from you when the days are good. I want to you to talk to me when things are bad as well. YOUR pain is MY pain..

SCORP: WOW Love, That's DEEP.. I appreciate that. I'll try. Cuz I really can't go a day without hearing from you, sharing our laughs, jokes stories, Gossip...You're my best friend, I've told you things that I've told No one..You know My mom asked for you?? She said: "I hope you're STILL talking to that pretty girl, and that you're doing everything to KEEP her. she's SO nice." ..she REALLY likes you..ALOT.

ME: Aww please send Mum my regards.

SCORP: I will. O CHAI!! I missed you so much.. baby..aw sh*t.. baby..you there?? MY phone is dying..I will call you again soon ok. ...stay away from those American boys oh.. Or I'll come and BREAK their legs with my bare hands.

ME: LOL..Sure..ok talk to you soon. It was a pleasure.

SCORP: As well as an honor...Iyawo mi. (which means "My wife" in Yoruba.)
....
END.


It was nice hearing from him.. it almost felt as if the ice was beginning to melt..but I'm NOT completely thawed.
Still keeping him at a safe distance.

Posted by xxnightbynight
I think I would prefer a LDR over one that is local... In all honesty... it gives you the challenge to see if you can overcome something as difficult as being away from someone you really love, and care for... thus making any triumph... absolutely fulfilling and admirable.

Absolutely...it puts your will, loyalty and honesty to the test. And plus..I don't like "Drop-ins" or surprise visits..lol I'm ok with not having someone under me. When the time comes to get together -fine.. but I'm not sticking together at the hip all the time. I LOVE my space.

i see you are tiring of this game. my question is... is it really a game? or does this game exist only in your mind?

do you ever wonder what the outcome might be if you were to contact him during one of these moods to simply say something like, "hi darling. i hope you are doing well. i miss you."

short, sweet, to the point. definitely not too much. it's not making you look like a "loser" in some "game". it makes you a complete sweetheart and it's not alienating him either.

from the way you've made him sound, from your interactions... i *highly* doubt he'll parade around like some pig-headed fool "yea! i got her to cave in and contact me first!"

really dont see that going down.

there's nothing wrong with making yourself just a little bit vulnerable. in fact it's a beautiful thing.

^^ ..sigh..OMG..You're right Creepy.. I've been SO used to being strong for so long, I'm scared to be vulnerable.
I fear being taken adantage of and taken for granted. So I figure its HIM, or...HIM.. lol I know, its sounds like its not fair..but it FEELS so much safer to see how he feels while I KNOW how I feel, but give him a little so that he won't fully "conquer" me... Complex I know.

i hear ya. i completely understand. no risk no gain... if you make yourself vulnerable to any guy... this might be the one to do it with. stereotypes will paint scorps bad, but the good ones will cherish and treat your feelings well. i'm not saying go all in, but give it something. just a lil something and see how he does with it.

Posted by xxnightbynight

Posted by TAURUSbelle
^^ ..sigh..OMG..You're right Creepy.. I've been SO used to being strong for so long, I'm scared to be vulnerable.
I fear being taken adantage of and taken for granted. So I figure its HIM, or...HIM.. lol I know, its sounds like its not fair..but it FEELS so much safer to see how he feels while I KNOW how I feel, but give him a little so that he won't fully "conquer" me... Complex I know.

I hear you! It's a control thing.... I SOOO understand where you're coming from!! We need to open up our hearts... haha... I think that's why you like the LDR... because you can love from a distance... and not have to open up all the way. - Make sense?

YES!..EXACTLY.. The Distance serves as my buffer..If he messes up..I don't have to hear/see him EVER again.. just change my number, and/or move..and Done. With locals..you get strays/tresspassers sitting on your front step trying "To explain"...or little "mysterious" care packages left on your porch with several sightings of an unmarked car with tinted windows driving by your neighborhood (YES. its happened to me.)Its the ones that are CLOSER to "my world" that make it SO much more difficult for me to heal & deal and move on...I need to get a grip and try to give in just a little...But I'm like..WAIT a minute?? Why was HE waiting to see if I'd write him 1st? Does HE want control TOO?? I feel with the less I GIVE him, the MORE he wants me and THAT'S just where I want him...

Posted by CreepyPants
i hear ya. i completely understand. no risk no gain... if you make yourself vulnerable to any guy... this might be the one to do it with. stereotypes will paint scorps bad, but the good ones will cherish and treat your feelings well. i'm not saying go all in, but give it something. just a lil something and see how he does with it.

click to expand

Ooh man..You know that feeling you get when you've JUST taken a seat on the rollercoaster ride that you've never ridden before?? The one with the highest loops and the lowest dips?? Yea. THATs how I feel, like I still have the option to unbuckle and hop off before the ride begins.- The SAFEST part.- ...GULP.. I'll certainly try to give a lil SOMETHING more..