Trying to break it off with my scorp. Need..

Need some words from others. Maybe encouragement or something. I hate to do this. I enjoyed our time together and tried to work through everything, but it's falling apart. Tried to end it a few weeks ago, but he wouldn't let it, but now he seems more distant. Wish I could just stay with him, but things have been degrading too much. If I could make things better I would. But maybe we're just not meant to be.

If anyones wants more detail I'm willing to give it

The leo is not even a thought anymore and I am still not thinking aries makes the best match. Though he would make a great husband for someone some day I just think he's too goofy.
After I moved to the same area as scorp and a bit before then as well, he began to become unsure of the situation. The pressure of the new job and me asking things regarding the marriage really gave him a lot of pressure at that time and widdled away at him.

I am so upset with this situation because I really do love him, but I don't want something unhealthy to continue to go on. Wish there was a way to make this healthy again, but there would have to be effort on both ends.

Yes, perhaps it would be wise to step back and take a look at the big picture.

I've thought that you've always seemed a little too anxious to be married. Spending more time with someone before agreeing to be wed seems the way to go, IMO.

Posted by Wynter
Yes, perhaps it would be wise to step back and take a look at the big picture.

I've thought that you've always seemed a little too anxious to be married. Spending more time with someone before agreeing to be wed seems the way to go, IMO.

I get what you're saying Wynter. My going for it was based on us knowing each other for more than a year prior. My only mistake was that I hadn't witnessed him in a situation as stressful as he has been in these past few months. Now that I've witnessed it it's taught me a lot about him.

Posted by Rabbit

Posted by Gobshite
"For better or for worse."

Isn't that one of the vows you were prepared to utter?

*smh*

When the going gets tough...

Bail

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Of course now, if the tables were turned ... he'd be viewed as an asswipe

Well, this is one reason you haven't married *yet*, right? You need time to make sure you're really ready for it. If you're feeling real doubts, then it's wise to cancel the engagement and give back the ring.

We'll be married in less than two months, and yes, I do have butterflies in my tummy, but they're happiness butterflies and mentally planning what kind of exciting dates we'll go on when we're rebellious 80 year olds, how we'll regularly inject fun and novelty in our life, creative ways to teach our future adoptive children math, etc.

We already sat down together and wrote a guidebook together on how conflicts would be healthily resolved. Only cheating or abuse would warrant divorce. What if you tried approaching your guy with this idea? If he says no, tell him that you're sorry, but it's apparent that he's just not ready for the commitment of marriage if he can't even be bothered to do this preparatory exercise.

Posted by happykitsune
Tried to end it a few weeks ago, but he wouldn't let it, but now he seems more distant.

Problem solved I think if your goal is to bail anyway. No?


The contradiction in your post is showing your hand. Yet again, holes in a story.

Posted by munchkin
Well, this is one reason you haven't married *yet*, right? You need time to make sure you're really ready for it. If you're feeling real doubts, then it's wise to cancel the engagement and give back the ring.

We'll be married in less than two months, and yes, I do have butterflies in my tummy, but they're happiness butterflies and mentally planning what kind of exciting dates we'll go on when we're rebellious 80 year olds, how we'll regularly inject fun and novelty in our life, creative ways to teach our future adoptive children math, etc.

We already sat down together and wrote a guidebook together on how conflicts would be healthily resolved. Only cheating or abuse would warrant divorce. What if you tried approaching your guy with this idea? If he says no, tell him that you're sorry, but it's apparent that he's just not ready for the commitment of marriage if he can't even be bothered to do this preparatory exercise.

you both actually wrote a guidebook?? it sounds so clinical.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by munchkin
Well, this is one reason you haven't married *yet*, right? You need time to make sure you're really ready for it. If you're feeling real doubts, then it's wise to cancel the engagement and give back the ring.

We'll be married in less than two months, and yes, I do have butterflies in my tummy, but they're happiness butterflies and mentally planning what kind of exciting dates we'll go on when we're rebellious 80 year olds, how we'll regularly inject fun and novelty in our life, creative ways to teach our future adoptive children math, etc.

We already sat down together and wrote a guidebook together on how conflicts would be healthily resolved. Only cheating or abuse would warrant divorce. What if you tried approaching your guy with this idea? If he says no, tell him that you're sorry, but it's apparent that he's just not ready for the commitment of marriage if he can't even be bothered to do this preparatory exercise.

you both actually wrote a guidebook?? it sounds so clinical.

click to expand

he suggested it. Or rather, one of his female married friends suggested it to him.

It made sense to me, because how many people ended up damaging their marriages (or relationships for that matter) just because a disagreement escalated in the heat of the moment? In arguments, sometimes people let their emotions overtake them, and become destructive.

Last place I lived, I had neighbors who always screamed at each other...that just scares me. I'm down for anything that would help prevent that.

It might seem clinical and unsexy, but it could help prevent problems later on.

Equally unromantic is talking about our finances, credit history and how we'd merge our finances. But it simply has to be done.

But tbh, who knows. It could be that in the heat of the moment, we'd just forget all about our guidebook, haha. Life doesn't always unfold exactly as planned. 😛

Posted by munchkin
Well, this is one reason you haven't married *yet*, right? You need time to make sure you're really ready for it. If you're feeling real doubts, then it's wise to cancel the engagement and give back the ring.

We'll be married in less than two months, and yes, I do have butterflies in my tummy, but they're happiness butterflies and mentally planning what kind of exciting dates we'll go on when we're rebellious 80 year olds, how we'll regularly inject fun and novelty in our life, creative ways to teach our future adoptive children math, etc.

We already sat down together and wrote a guidebook together on how conflicts would be healthily resolved. Only cheating or abuse would warrant divorce. What if you tried approaching your guy with this idea? If he says no, tell him that you're sorry, but it's apparent that he's just not ready for the commitment of marriage if he can't even be bothered to do this preparatory exercise.

You are right. If he's not willing to work at the issues then it's just not going to work. He was so adamant about fixing any issues we had when we started, but when the blaming on his part started it just went down hill from there. I tried to contain it and asked to resolve the issues. Most were fixed, but his decision to be irritated and distant is something I can't really help. This all really saddens me

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by happykitsune
Tried to end it a few weeks ago, but he wouldn't let it, but now he seems more distant.

Problem solved I think if your goal is to bail anyway. No?


The contradiction in your post is showing your hand. Yet again, holes in a story.

click to expand

I wrote what happened. I tried to end it, but doing it over text is not the best way so I told him we'd talk in person. We broke up because he was joking with me about it. Changing the date on our couple app to reflect that we were breaking up at a specific time, then proceeding to tell me how to unpair us. I was not in the mood and we had not been okay that week so I unpaired us. He then proceeded to get upset and that's when I offered him the time to talk. When we did we talked out all our issues. It was good. I decided to give him another chance and we were doing great. Even up until last friday we were good. Then something switched in him that saturday morning. It was the craziest thing. He became intolerable of me. I am not joking when I say I would ask a question and he would get upset because it wasn't something he had said and I hadn't heard him. (We were around a lot of people all day in the city so I could barely hear what I was saying). Or he got very unset when I told him to quit insulting me. I love him, but that is just too much.

"when it WAS* something he had said"