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Do you ever have a problem compromising in a relationship? I know Scorpio is a fixed sign, but... wtf..

What I mean by compromising isn't on like core values that are the foundation of who you are. Just the little things, like what you're doing today or this weekend or what movie you wanna see or if you go out with someone or not. Where you go, what you do.

I'm just having an issue being the only one to bend. It's all small stuff, but it's MY small stuff and I want do some of my small stuff with him sometimes, whether it's something he's interested in or not.

He's kinda young still to so Idk if it's a childish thing or not. Plz share is this something you guys do or did and WHY you must be so stubborn :/

That's it? He just doesn't like me enough. Well...Idk why he wants to be with me then.

It's not really about us getting along. We get along fine. We share no common interest. Idk. I'm just kinda bummed out. Yesterday was the 4th and I LOVE fireworks and I was really excited to go. He was supposed to go with me and at the last minute makes all these excuses and complaining.. and I was like fine if you don't want to go just say so. So he didn't go. And it got me thinking about it all. He never wants to do anything I'm excited to do. Does that sound petty on my part?

Posted by MayDay31
Do you ever have a problem compromising in a relationship?

No. Especially if I want the relationship to continue moving forward, but this doesn't sound like an issue of compromise, at least the way you've presented it.

Posted by MayDay31

I'm just having an issue being the only one to bend. It's all small stuff, but it's MY small stuff and I want do some of my small stuff with him sometimes, whether it's something he's interested in or not.

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That may be your issue. SO shouldn't be forced to participate in everything the other enjoys. That's what your friends are for. Better yet, why not go out and do it alone? If he doesn't enjoy something, why would he do it? That doesn't sound like a lack of compromise, that sounds like common sense to me. If you are constantly doing things you don't like, you should ask yourself why.

But it's not constantly doing things, really. 4th of July it's once a year. Is it so hard to do something once a year?

I do feel like a have to force it sometimes. I mean I never have actually forced him, but ill bitch about it.

But sometimes things do come up that you don't necessarily want to do, but you do it for your partner. He asked me to go with him to the hospital with him because his sister was there. I don't like going to hospitals, but I went for him. I comprised, I was there for him. And I mean I'm not playing tit for tat, but my point is... I'll compromise for him. But he just won't.

Idk. Like I said, it it's just bumming me out a little. I'm watching all the couple's all snuggled and cute and I'm cold and lonely :/ and today I'm just in a funky mood about it

Posted by MayDay31
That's it? He just doesn't like me enough. Well...Idk why he wants to be with me then.

It's not really about us getting along. We get along fine. We share no common interest. Idk. I'm just kinda bummed out. Yesterday was the 4th and I LOVE fireworks and I was really excited to go. He was supposed to go with me and at the last minute makes all these excuses and complaining.. and I was like fine if you don't want to go just say so. So he didn't go. And it got me thinking about it all. He never wants to do anything I'm excited to do. Does that sound petty on my part?

Well then this may be an issue. You get along, but have no common interest whatsoever?

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by MayDay31
That's it? He just doesn't like me enough. Well...Idk why he wants to be with me then.

It's not really about us getting along. We get along fine. We share no common interest. Idk. I'm just kinda bummed out. Yesterday was the 4th and I LOVE fireworks and I was really excited to go. He was supposed to go with me and at the last minute makes all these excuses and complaining.. and I was like fine if you don't want to go just say so. So he didn't go. And it got me thinking about it all. He never wants to do anything I'm excited to do. Does that sound petty on my part?

Well then this may be an issue. You get along, but have no common interest whatsoever?

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No, not really. Some things like our taste in movies and music aren't too far off so we can make it work. But he is a homebody, he doesn't do much. Which is actually ok with me most of the time. I'm a simple girl, I don't do much either. I don't need to go out to the club our fancy restaurants. I'm not high maintenance at all. 97% of the time I'm perfectly ok with hanging out just relaxing watching tv, talking, whatever. Fourth of July, Halloween, cedar point... I get excited about every year. He doesn't like fire works, he's scared of roller coasters, he hates haunted houses. That's all I want to do! And I could go with my friends... But Idk I just wish he could come out of his comfort zone once in a while and do something with me other than sit around the house.

I realize this isn't a giant crisis... And I'm being a pouty pants. It's just... Idk.

So my question... is it a fixed sign thing? Like you just don't wanna budge? If you don't want to do it you just won't? Or maybe its just him

Posted by MayDay31
But it's not constantly doing things, really. 4th of July it's once a year. Is it so hard to do something once a year?

Okay, I got the impression it was "constant" because of this:

Posted by MayDay31

I'm just having an issue being the only one to bend. It's all small stuff, but it's MY small stuff and I want do some of my small stuff with him sometimes, whether it's something he's interested in or not.

and this:

Posted by MayDay31

I do feel like a have to force it sometimes.

It gave the impression it was more than one incident. So, is this an isolated incident or not?

I will agree the firework thing wasn't cool, because he did say he would go and backed out in a half ass way. So I understand why you would be in a funk. However, is this really over one event? If so....you're not really gonna like my feedback.

Posted by MayDay31

But sometimes things do come up that you don't necessarily want to do, but you do it for your partner. He asked me to go with him to the hospital with him because his sister was there. I don't like going to hospitals, but I went for him. I comprised, I was there for him. And I mean I'm not playing tit for tat, but my point is... I'll compromise for him. But he just won't.

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Umm, wow....so, you're comparing him needing your emotional support to see his sister in the hospital with going to see fireworks because they would be fun and you don't think this is tit for tat? I once wrote in another thread that unfortunately some people will compromise to "get something" from someone rather than to simply "be with" someone. Your statement above gives off the impression you fall into the former category and that may speak to your disappointment/upset.

I am not suggesting that your interest are not important, but if this is about an isolated incident, I do not think this is a fair assessment about his ability to meet you half way. Especially based on the examples you used.

Posted by tiziani
Great lovers, crappy friends. It happens.

Sounds like it.

Posted by MayDay31

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by MayDay31
That's it? He just doesn't like me enough. Well...Idk why he wants to be with me then.

It's not really about us getting along. We get along fine. We share no common interest. Idk. I'm just kinda bummed out. Yesterday was the 4th and I LOVE fireworks and I was really excited to go. He was supposed to go with me and at the last minute makes all these excuses and complaining.. and I was like fine if you don't want to go just say so. So he didn't go. And it got me thinking about it all. He never wants to do anything I'm excited to do. Does that sound petty on my part?

Well then this may be an issue. You get along, but have no common interest whatsoever?

No, not really. Some things like our taste in movies and music aren't too far off so we can make it work. But he is a homebody, he doesn't do much. Which is actually ok with me most of the time. I'm a simple girl, I don't do much either. I don't need to go out to the club our fancy restaurants. I'm not high maintenance at all. 97% of the time I'm perfectly ok with hanging out just relaxing watching tv, talking, whatever. Fourth of July, Halloween, cedar point... I get excited about every year. He doesn't like fire works, he's scared of roller coasters, he hates haunted houses. That's all I want to do!

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Okay, so reading the highlighted area again, do you really think this is about him just being a stubborn fixed sign, or because you are requesting things that push him out of his comfort zone? There is a huge difference between not wanting to do something because someone is being selfish and another thing entirely when they do not want to do something because it triggers negative emotions.

Posted by MayDay31
And I could go with my friends... But Idk I just wish he could come out of his comfort zone once in a while and do something with me other than sit around the house.
I realize this isn't a giant crisis... And I'm being a pouty pants. It's just... Idk.

Hmph...maybe?.... I think your expectations about what it means to be with someone is a bit skewed. If 97% of the time you enjoy hanging out and just relaxing with your man, but the remaining 3% is what is putting you in a funk and could easily be spent with others you also enjoy spending time with---I don't know what to tell you other than evaluate your expectations of him and what it means to be in a relationship.

Posted by tiziani

Like saying you're content 97% of the time but you're bent over the 3% remaining, and yet somehow not high maintenance... it really wasn't the details that got me angry with them but just the general feeling that they were obviously skirting around the issue of what was really bothering them.

🙂 I caught that too, but figured I'd leave it alone and just deleted what I initially wrote.

It is often the ones that state they are not high maintenance that usually are and don't realize it.

Pr to your first comment... you're right, it's a different situation to compare fire works to a hospital visit. But the fact that one is there by your side through something that is a big deal to you is the same, no? What's a big deal to one might not be to the other, but nonetheless.

I am not compromising with him because I want something in return. I want to be with him, and be there for him. To simply be with him is enough, whether its something I want to do our not. It is not reciprocated, which is my point.

And is it such a bad thing to leave your comfort zone every once in a while? To experience something new you would never do on your own? I wouldn't ask him to do something that would hurt him, just push him a little. Challenge him. He might even like it or he would just try.

Do you think it's honestly too much to ask to do something you don't wanna do every once in a while?

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by tiziani

Like saying you're content 97% of the time but you're bent over the 3% remaining, and yet somehow not high maintenance... it really wasn't the details that got me angry with them but just the general feeling that they were obviously skirting around the issue of what was really bothering them.

🙂 I caught that too, but figured I'd leave it alone and just deleted what I initially wrote.

It is often the ones that state they are not high maintenance that usually are and don't realize it.

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How is that high maintenance? Requesting your company for something? Really? I guess my idea of high maintenance is completely different

Posted by tiziani
I don't understand that much about Fixed signs. I have known a few Scorpios that went well out of their way to make me happy and do things for me. I found it was best to be a straight shooter and speak from the heart, that worked.

What you've put down here reminds me of a few exes when I was younger - when they were upset it was hard to know what to do because few things they said made sense or added up. And actually it just got me angrier that their arguments were so flawed.

Like saying you're content 97% of the time but you're bent over the 3% remaining, and yet somehow not high maintenance... it really wasn't the details that got me angry with them but just the general feeling that they were obviously skirting around the issue of what was really bothering them.

All this to say - my experience is be upfront with him. Hopefully he's the type of person to reward you for doing so by listening and not reacting negatively (unfortunately back then I was not so they just kept on doing things for me that they'd bring up later on - and the circle of resentment built up on both sides).

Lol my logic is usually flawed because it's mixed with my emotion. It makes sense to me! but trying ti get someone else to see it the way I do it's a challenge sometimes. I don't want it to be a resentment thing. I really, really don't. I really don't ask for much. I do my own thing and I still can I just wanna share it with him. Not even all the time either just once if he could do something. it's not like I'm crying because the 10th time I wanted to do x he didn't want to come. HE NEVER DOES. He does listen though, when I tell him this. He doesn't lash out, so that is a positive

Wait, I think I'm getting what you guys are thinking. I don't expect him to make me happy 100% of the time. I was trying to say, most of the time what he is comfortable doing is what I'm comfortable doing and everything is good. But there's events during the year that are a big deal to me and he just can't be bothered to do anything different. Does that make more sense?

He's not a bad guy or boyfriend. But damn... I just wanna go out and have fun with him sometimes and it seems like we just don't agree. That's the problem.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by MayDay31
Wait, I think I'm getting what you guys are thinking. I don't expect him to make me happy 100% of the time. I was trying to say, most of the time what he is comfortable doing is what I'm comfortable doing and everything is good. But there's events during the year that are a big deal to me and he just can't be bothered to do anything different. Does that make more sense?

Is this one of those things where you feel like you just want to see the guy do something for you that he wouldn't normally do for anyone? I don't really understand why a lot of women feel that way at certain points in their life, but you would not be the only one - by any means - if that's the case.

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No, not at all. I don't think I've ever even asked if he's done anything like that in a past relationship. Maybe in general I've asked if he's done it, but I could care less about his past relationships. I would like him to do something different with me, but not to compete.

Mmk well thanks anyway. Not sure if there's really "answers" but hopefully some insight.

Posted by MayDay31

And is it such a bad thing to leave your comfort zone every once in a while? To experience something new you would never do on your own? I wouldn't ask him to do something that would hurt him, just push him a little. Challenge him. He might even like it or he would just try.

Do you think it's honestly too much to ask to do something you don't wanna do every once in a while?

You're asking a Scorp with a Gem moon, so yes and no?...😆 It' not an issue for me (to an extent), but for another Scorp it might be, yes. I don't think you would ask him anything that would harm him, but that really isn't the mindset of a fixed sign. They are capable of changing, but change needs to occur with a reason, while you are much more flexible and adaptable to change just because "it would be a great thing to try" (generalization, I know). It simply will not "just happen" because you say so (not saying that is what you're saying--but it sort of is).

This was the same issue I had with my ex Gem because there was the thought that it should "just happen". He couldn't understand that there needs to be a reason for me to stretch myself. Strange for you, I get it. Enjoying the experience is reason enough for Gems. My experience has been Gems quickly look, jump in and if something comes up..."well I'll figure it out as we go along". Scorps will look, study, think ahead about all possible scenarios if it goes sideways, thinks about the possible solutions to any issues....looks at the situation again, while the Gem is like "WTF, we could have done this 20x over already". That where you get the "resistance" you see sometimes with Scorps. The reason, for a Scorp has to make sense to the overall picture (e.g. connecting with you), not just to try something new.

Anyway, I completely turned this thread in a different direction (sorry), but that's^^^part of the differences you see. So give him a reason to want to stretch himself, with you. I'll be honest, I think there maybe something else going on here, but if we just look at the stuff you posted here alone, I would say this is one way to work with the situation.

Posted by MayDay31

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by tiziani

Like saying you're content 97% of the time but you're bent over the 3% remaining, and yet somehow not high maintenance... it really wasn't the details that got me angry with them but just the general feeling that they were obviously skirting around the issue of what was really bothering them.

🙂 I caught that too, but figured I'd leave it alone and just deleted what I initially wrote.

It is often the ones that state they are not high maintenance that usually are and don't realize it.

How is that high maintenance? Requesting your company for something? Really? I guess my idea of high maintenance is completely different

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It is. Some people can hardly say they are content 80% of the time in their relationships, yet you are upset about 3% --according to you're statement. You don't see that as a tad bit....unreasonable or unrealistic? Hence, the reference high maintenance.

Requesting another person's company for something is not the issue. That is more than reasonable. The statement was made because of the fact that you are are upset about the 3% of the relationship you do not enjoy. So either your statement has been fudged a bit to make it appear as though you're not trying to be too demanding (e.g. our relationship is bliss, but it's just this small thing--why can't he compromise? Why are fixed people unreasonable?) in an effort to get validation oooooor, your statement is accurate and you are being unreasonable in your expectations. You pick.

Posted by MayDay31
Wait, I think I'm getting what you guys are thinking. I don't expect him to make me happy 100% of the time. I was trying to say, most of the time what he is comfortable doing is what I'm comfortable doing and everything is good. But there's events during the year that are a big deal to me and he just can't be bothered to do anything different. Does that make more sense?

Yes.

Okay, so you open up and he listens, that a good thing. However, there is absolutely no movement or effort whatsoever (e.g."he never does")?

You have a different problem here that goes beyond him simply not wanting to go to a July 4th celebration or a roller coaster.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by MayDay31

And is it such a bad thing to leave your comfort zone every once in a while? To experience something new you would never do on your own? I wouldn't ask him to do something that would hurt him, just push him a little. Challenge him. He might even like it or he would just try.

Do you think it's honestly too much to ask to do something you don't wanna do every once in a while?

You're asking a Scorp with a Gem moon, so yes and no?...😆 It' not an issue for me (to an extent), but for another Scorp it might be, yes. I don't think you would ask him anything that would harm him, but that really isn't the mindset of a fixed sign. They are capable of changing, but change needs to occur with a reason, while you are much more flexible and adaptable to change just because "it would be a great thing to try" (generalization, I know). It simply will not "just happen" because you say so (not saying that is what you're saying--but it sort of is).

This was the same issue I had with my ex Gem because there was the thought that it should "just happen". He couldn't understand that there needs to be a reason for me to stretch myself. Strange for you, I get it. Enjoying the experience is reason enough for Gems. My experience has been Gems quickly look, jump in and if something comes up..."well I'll figure it out as we go along". Scorps will look, study, think ahead about all possible scenarios if it goes sideways, thinks about the possible solutions to any issues....looks at the situation again, while the Gem is like "WTF, we could have done this 20x over already". That where you get the "resistance" you see sometimes with Scorps. The reason, for a Scorp has to make sense to the overall picture (e.g. connecting with you), not just to try something new.

Anyway, I completely turned this thread in a different direction (sorry), but that's^^^part of the differences you see. So give him a reason to want to stretch himself, with you. I'll be honest, I think there maybe something else going on here, but if we just look at the stuff you posted here alone, I would say this is one way to work with the situation.

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Yess!! Absolutely enjoying the experience or just to experience it is enough.

Posted by MayDay31
PR to your first comment... you're right, it's a different situation to compare fire works to a hospital visit. But the fact that one is there by your side through something that is a big deal to you is the same, no? What's a big deal to one might not be to the other, but nonetheless.

I do understand your point. Perhaps the example used wasn't the best then. I am seeing where you're going here now with the question about fixed (vs mutable approach actually) being willing to compromise.

Posted by MayDay31

I am not compromising with him because I want something in return. I want to be with him, and be there for him. To simply be with him is enough, whether its something I want to do our not. It is not reciprocated, which is my point.

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Okay, let me try this instead, sort of going off on what I wrote up above. You seem to have a different understanding of what it means to connect to someone. It reads like for you, connection is about "doing" and "engaging" in activities together as a way of bonding, while most Scorps connect through emotions. Soothing, supporting and understanding an emotional need. Not so much in the "doing" as it is in the "feeling".

I'm not gonna make this more complex then it needs to be. So to simply address your immediate issue: simply express to him that you would like him to make an effort to participate in activities that you enjoy. An effort may look like you go to an intimate setting where you can view the fireworks vs in a crowed space for example. You have to be open to seeing those small movements. I would personally leave that hospital example out of the convo, because that may not go well.

^^^I had to edit that a bit

It was going to cut off but yes that's it. To make memories, to have fun, do something different. Be scared together or mad at something.. whatever the emotion we would be together and that is bonding. I guess I never really realized that's a difference. It all comes back to communication error.

And he does seem to overthink it. Just do it! Let go and go with the flow. Not every single day, but come on. Live a little 🙂

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by MayDay31
Wait, I think I'm getting what you guys are thinking. I don't expect him to make me happy 100% of the time. I was trying to say, most of the time what he is comfortable doing is what I'm comfortable doing and everything is good. But there's events during the year that are a big deal to me and he just can't be bothered to do anything different. Does that make more sense?

Yes.

Okay, so you open up and he listens, that a good thing. However, there is absolutely no movement or effort whatsoever (e.g."he never does")?

You have a different problem here that goes beyond him simply not wanting to go to a July 4th celebration or a roller coaster.

click to expand

What else are you thinking?

Posted by feby16aqua
I say if you want him to compromise, lead by example. But not begrudgingly...

I really have no problem with compromise. As long as it's not so one sided. Now I'm starting to get a little bitter about it. I probably over think it too, which is part of the reason I put this out here. To check my perspective.

Posted by MayDay31

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by MayDay31
Wait, I think I'm getting what you guys are thinking. I don't expect him to make me happy 100% of the time. I was trying to say, most of the time what he is comfortable doing is what I'm comfortable doing and everything is good. But there's events during the year that are a big deal to me and he just can't be bothered to do anything different. Does that make more sense?

Yes.

Okay, so you open up and he listens, that a good thing. However, there is absolutely no movement or effort whatsoever (e.g."he never does")?

You have a different problem here that goes beyond him simply not wanting to go to a July 4th celebration or a roller coaster.

What else are you thinking?

click to expand

I'll have to come back to answer, but I will.

As a scorpio my motto was always "love me as I am or leave". when you start to "change" yourself just to make another person happy you are making yourself miserable in the inside and that is just a ticking timebomb.

you have to think what is more important to you: fireworks and haunted houses or you scorpio lover as he is, not what you want him to be.

Posted by MayDay31

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by MayDay31
Wait, I think I'm getting what you guys are thinking. I don't expect him to make me happy 100% of the time. I was trying to say, most of the time what he is comfortable doing is what I'm comfortable doing and everything is good. But there's events during the year that are a big deal to me and he just can't be bothered to do anything different. Does that make more sense?

Yes.

Okay, so you open up and he listens, that a good thing. However, there is absolutely no movement or effort whatsoever (e.g."he never does")?

You have a different problem here that goes beyond him simply not wanting to go to a July 4th celebration or a roller coaster.

What else are you thinking?

click to expand

Well, two things:

1) Based on what you shared, which is clearly from your POV, then I would say he doesn't sound fully invested. Yes, Scorps can be stubborn, but we also will make adjustments for our partner. There would be some movement, especially since you've talked to him about it. You are saying there is absolutely none. Of course it depends on how you've made your request. For myself, as soon as it sounds like you're trying to tell me what to do, I automatically dig my heels in and it's "fuck you. I'm not changing sh*t". It doesn't sound like that is the case, but we don't know how he perceives this whole thing.

con't...

2) Given he hasn't shared his side, he may think he has made some adjustments on some things--or at least the things that matter (which is subjective) and you are not giving him credit because you're expecting to see a full 180?? in his approach. Remember, Scorps often bond emotionally; not through the activities themselves (aka the experience). For example, you going to the hospital would mean much more to him and push your relationship that much further than any thrill you would get at a fair, so those things don't matter (from a Scorp POV) to the bigger picture. Months from now I doubt he will reflect on the trips you took together, the events you went to or all the 4th of July celebrations you enjoyed. He will remember the time he was feeling worried for his sister's well being, feeling helpless and how much your presence helped to calm his feelings--which is not an easy thing to do.

So it's either he's not fully there with you for whatever reason or similar to the 97% reference, you're exaggerating a little bit and "never does" actually mean "most or some of the time" and you're not taking the time to recognize his effort.

Well we talked some. I'm kind of seeing a pattern of behavior from both of us.

We have opposing Venus signs. Mine in Taurus, his in Scorpio.
Scorpio it's about emotions. He knows he loves me, he tells me, he knows that I know. That's how he expresses ands that's is enough for him. My top two influences are cap and Taurus. I want the physical part, the opposite side of that coin. I want him to show it, being there physically shows it. I think that's part of it, why we disagree. We express our love differently. Which I realized a while ago, but I kinda pushed that thought to the back burner.

It's definitely a challenge trying to communicate. Definitely the biggest challenge we will have to overcome. Or it will be what ruins us.



To missperfect - I'm not trying to change him, I'm asking him to go somewhere maybe a couple times in an entire year. That's hardly asking someone to change who they are.

And also...It's not the event that is the most important, it's the principle. Shouldn't matter what it is, it's something your partner enjoys that that they want to share with you by they side. It's simple to me. That pov doesn't translate well to scorps I believe

Ugh typos.

*something your partner enjoys and that they want to share with you by their side.

I'm not fixing the rest!

Posted by IrresistableScorp
If you were to make a point to compromise in a grand fashion on something you don't particularly like, go and genuinely enjoy yourself and not bring a defensive attitude (not saying you are), then you will find that your Scorp would be more inclined to follow suit. Its called leading by example. It could be that simple.

A close friend with scorpio placements once explained it like this to me: less talk, more love.

Show, not say. Two cents.

Not sure I understand what you're saying here. I am not the one doing something I'm not enjoying... I'm trying to get him to do something he doesn't enjoy. So I am going to enjoy it anyway, and then I should tell him how much fun I had ands he will want to come along next time?? Lol I'm lost. Or your comment is just a little lost.

And fwiw... he doesn't know if he doesn't like three things he's never tried! He's seen fireworks before, of course, but he never really did anything else. He's just being a chicken. A lazy chicken

The not three

Posted by MayDay31
Well we talked some. I'm kind of seeing a pattern of behavior from both of us.

We have opposing Venus signs. Mine in Taurus, his in Scorpio.
Scorpio it's about emotions. He knows he loves me, he tells me, he knows that I know. That's how he expresses ands that's is enough for him. My top two influences are cap and Taurus. I want the physical part, the opposite side of that coin. I want him to show it, being there physically shows it. I think that's part of it, why we disagree. We express our love differently. Which I realized a while ago, but I kinda pushed that thought to the back burner.

It's definitely a challenge trying to communicate. Definitely the biggest challenge we will have to overcome. Or it will be what ruins us.


And also...It's not the event that is the most important, it's the principle. Shouldn't matter what it is, it's something your partner enjoys that that they want to share with you by they side. It's simple to me. That pov doesn't translate well to scorps I believe

Not saying you should or shouldn't be, but are you okay with the highlighted part?

And you're right, this type of pairing requires a lot of communication . It also requires an acceptance for how/why the other expresses affection/love/etc in a particular way. Movements can be made, it just takes patience and a willingness to.

*sigh*

I don't know. It's complicated. I try to be, most of the time, but then I'm sacrificing. And then when I complain and he tries to fix it or adjust, he is trying harder than he should have to.

I'm kinda worried about resentment building. That's why I'm so adamant on the compromise part. That it can not be just one side. Idk...

That was to pr, my first comment.

To IS... you know he says he's happy. I talked to him and I was kinda down like this isn't gonna work blah blah blah and he's like no, we'll make it work. When he talks about his future I'm in it. He's been taking about moving in together and made comments about spending the rest of his life with me. I mean, none of that is necessary really so why would he say it if he doesn't mean it?

Posted by IrresistableScorp

Posted by MayDay31
I was kinda down like this isn't gonna work blah blah blah and he's like no, we'll make it work.

:/ Feels like an alarm bell there ^^^^^ Sort of hard to give your all when the other one is sitting on the fence??_.

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Well, this always comes back around and it can get frustrating. Idk how to fix it. This is really just one of those things that ebbs away slowly and I can see it coming. And I'm pmsing and I'm just more.. Idk like dramatic? Argumentative maybe. It's a flaw I'm not saying in proud of it but if I'm honest with myself I know that's what it is. Maybe I want to see if he will just give up our how much fight he has left.

I'm not perfect :/

Posted by IrresistableScorp

Posted by MayDay31

Posted by IrresistableScorp

Posted by MayDay31
I was kinda down like this isn't gonna work blah blah blah and he's like no, we'll make it work.

:/ Feels like an alarm bell there ^^^^^ Sort of hard to give your all when the other one is sitting on the fence??_.

Well, this always comes back around and it can get frustrating. Idk how to fix it. This is really just one of those things that ebbs away slowly and I can see it coming. And I'm pmsing and I'm just more.. Idk like dramatic? Argumentative maybe. It's a flaw I'm not saying in proud of it but if I'm honest with myself I know that's what it is. Maybe I want to see if he will just give up our how much fight he has left.

I'm not perfect :/

No you are just mutable. 🙂

Try to be consistent if you can. Even when one twin is distracted by something sparkly--make sure your fixed sign guy knows how you feel. Eventually, if he loves you, he'll get your ways.

Well, honey, if your scorpio loves you, he will NEVER give up the fight..and I mean never. 😄 :rolls eyes: NEVER. lol

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It's my feels! Today I'm feeling one way and later it'll be different and tomorrow and etc. It's never consistent. Oh the life of a gem. Our mind can be our own worst enemy.

I don't ever want him to give up either. I don't wanna give up. It's just tough sometimes, like I'm going against the grain. Really it's not the majority of the time. So I guess I should just relax. Stop being a brat about it

Posted by FrostAndBite
Sometimes they just need prodding. Around half of my Scorps favorite experiences over the past 3+ were things he didn't want to do or begrudgingly agreed to, then he lived it up and was ecstatic during/after the fact.

Us scorps in general become much bigger homebodies once we pair up and get comfy in a relationship too.

Plus what IS said. A few posts up. If he is happy and secure, most are pretty agreeable in day to day plans. If he's bickering over dinner dates or whatever, something's up.

See, that's kinda what I was hoping for! That even if he didn't want to initially he'd just go and maybe have fun. Idk I'll keep at it. Haunted houses aren't for a few months. Cedar point has halloweekends (haunted houses + roller coasters!!) Maybe he'll come. Idk

He is also a major home body. I'd definitely say more now than before we were together. He's got a lot of Scorpio influence like 5 planets I think maybe 6.

I mean I don't know scorpio opinion more than you guys but I think it has more to do with trying something different. That's what he's reluctant about. I can't really see him thinking like "well I'm not really happy with you so I'm just not gonna do anything you want" but be perfectly ok in every other aspect. He may not be totally happy with life in general though. Could that do it? He's just not where he wants to be job wise. I could be wrong and it could be he's unhappy but I'd hope I would know that.

Ugh.. fricken scorpios

If he doesn't like roller coasters and fireworks... Maybe he's just scared of them, and doesn't want you to see him afraid of something.

Also, was he in the military at any point..? Random, I know, but I thought I remembered something about him having served? I might be confused though.. But if he was, that would probably explain the whole dislike of fireworks thing.

Nah, never in the military. I'd be a dick for trying to push some one with PTSD to watch fireworks! No that's not the case thankfully.

Roller coasters... Yea he's scared lol but I tried to tell him you're SUPPOSED to be scared! But it's a calculated risk, we're most likely not going to die. And when you get off and you've done it and you're still standing and just fine and geekin from all the adrenaline... ahhh!! I love it, I really do. I just want him to try I think he'd have fun. And it's memories 🙂

Really these things are like the only thing I ask him to do with me. I don't even go any where else, it's not like he agrees to 50 other activities during the year and this one is just too much.

I'm still gonna keep trying though haha

I think I heart you a little frost 🙂

Thats so awesome you went! Are you referring to the dragster? Lol I love that ride. I love them all, but some truly scare the shit out of me. The power tower and the melenium force... ugh I dislike heights. But I go on them, everytime. I guess I push my self so it's just automatic for me to try to push everyone around me. I will keep at it, I'm gonna lay off for now though. He's going through some stuff and it's just not the time for this. I'll try again eventually, but yea. I need to learn when not to nudge also.

Thanks for your advice. Thank all you lovely ladies, you all can be very insightful. That's why I keep coming back to bother you 😛

That's so cute it really made me smile. That's what I want!! It's possible, I know it is. He really needs some fun in his life. I want him to trust me that he would have a blast.

I'm excited now I wanna go so bad!! I think the scary wooden ride is the Gemini? Lol or there's another one I can't think of the name... the wooden ones give me a terrible headache.

I'm gonna butter him up and after this shit has passed I'll toss the idea out there again

It's the mean streak!

And the front cars are scarier though! For me too, I like something in front of me haha. But no, I wouldnt want to damage the goods.

I should try something smaller scale first, but there's not much around northern Ohio. We'll see