What is going on in his brain?!?!

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CaringCancer
@CaringCancer
13 YearsCancer

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Hi all - Thanks for reading. Some of you may remember me from past posts. I'm a Cancer (7-7) and my guy is a Scorp (11-3). We've known each other for about a year and have been through our trials. He's pretty wounded from his past, but a Scorp, renewing himself, yet there are still scars he deals with on a daily basis. It took a long time to get where we are-many tests on his part. He has a lot of loss in his life but a strong, solid loving family and friends that have helped him cope.

I've stuck by him when he's pulled away, listened to him as he'd unleash pain from his mind and heart. Since my last post months ago, we have truly become best friends. I know more about him now than I ever thought possible. He confides in me easily most times. He's elemental in my changes over the past months. I moved into a new house. He's been there every step of the way, landcaping, painting, hanging things, fixing things, buying me plants and helping get rid of the little mice that were in the stoop. He stays with me almost every night and while we have our moments of anger, the passion is there physically and emotionally, and we often bounce right back from issues that would have crushed both of us in months past. He cooks me breakfast and makes sure I'm warm at night

He's brought me into his little girl's life more than ever, and I've become close to his mom. He and I get along like a true couple, coffee together in the mornings, fishing on the weekends. I am a nurturer so to speak - a true Cancer in most of the textbook descriptions. He loves me and says it. He knows he can feel sheltered from his turbulent and sensitive mind with me. We have some of the best talks and I feel that we bring balance to each other's lives. When things get rough-he does have an irrational (and funny) temper that calms in an hour-I just walk away.

I can be stubborn. In the past week he's been extra moody. Yesterday morning he was in a foul mood upon waking and I just let it go. I had car trouble on the road and he couldn't get to me. I got help and asked him if he would help me later to put a new battery in my car. He was snarly and crabby with me. He said a couple things that really pissed me off so I told him what was on my mind and he didn't like it. We haven't talked since yesterday. I won't reach out to him, and he hasn't A WORD to me. How do I handle this? He's been a bit reserved over the past week, so I don't want to push. Is he on his way out?
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CaringCancer
@CaringCancer
13 YearsCancer

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LOL - I'm not turning on him - I do love him and I want things to be right. But there are times I get sick of his little mood swings. He was a bear yesterday morning and there are times we call each other out on the irrationality. He basically told me to "F-off", and while I'm hoping he didn't mean it (as in, F-off, leave me alone for good), I think it was rude and I called him out on it. Since then he hasn't said a word. Typically in the past when this has happened, I'll wait a few hours and then pop in with a light text - I think he KNOWS that he's upset me and is sheepish about testing the water around me, so he waits to hear from me, meaning that "everything's ok now". But I haven't said a word to him all day and all last night. Didn't see him, etc. I think at times we take each other for granted and I feel that he needs to think about what he's said and what he has in me. This is why I'm being stubborn right now. He's been so gosh darn moody these past few days. Not nasty, just quiet and brooding. This happens when he's got a ton on his mind, which he does right now. But I am there for him!
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CaringCancer
@CaringCancer
13 YearsCancer

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Hey Intrigued - thanks. I feel that letting him be IS in order, however, he hasn't shut down like this in months. He's been excellent at NOT doing that - not that he's not entitled to, everyone has their moods, but he's been great at telling me that he's in a lousy mood and to not listen to him. But it's the fact that he didn't say a single word to me yesterday or yesterday night, NOTHING, that scares me. I don't know if I should check in with him nicely, or just not say a word until he does. One of us will typically break the ice, it's usually me, but occasionally him. We've never gone a full day in recent months without talking. I'm just afraid he's done with the relationship. Over what, I have no clue. When he tells me of our future and what we're going to do, etc. This is just different than the other times.
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CaringCancer
@CaringCancer
13 YearsCancer

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Hmm Jynja, didn't know about the Decan thing. He has seemed out of sorts. He drops things often but that's because his hand doesn't always work properly after his accident. He's been out of sorts but still by my side, you see? He's seemed preoccupied, but has wanted to come over, be with me at the house, be with my dog, have dinner, etc. He wasn't sleeping well, no, at least not the past couple of nights. The mood yesterday was strong, and I stood up to him. I know he's had a ton on his mind, career wise, his daughter, his schoolwork, things affect him deeply. NORMALLY he talks about them with me. Not so recently which makes me wonder if our relationship is what he's brooding about - but I can' say that it's been great! Don't get it. Not going to try. I just love what we have together so changes like this rock my Cancer core. UGH!
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CaringCancer
@CaringCancer
13 YearsCancer

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LOL, thanks Jynja. That sort of little touch typically does help, and that's what I wanted to get folks' thoughts on. He in the past, has succumbed to self doubt, depression, and an overall loathing of himself. He will always struggle with not feeling good enough for me, because of his past. But I'd thought we'd gotten through that. Your guy and mine DO sound like they are having the same issues. I sent him a small text that said, "Well, whatever is happening, just know that I do love you, no matter what." Like Intrigued said, he'll come around. I have a hard time believing that he's through with the relationship after all the hurdles we've cleared and the plans we've made. Plus he has a ton of stuff at my house. He didn't come right out and say "we're through", but his silence is scary. I can honestly say with a self-critical eye that I have not done anything "wrong" except call him out on his mood. I typically do that anyway and never get this kind of reaction. He'll do the same to me - he calls me out when I'm being overly sensitive - and he always does it in a loving way. I just don't get the silence.
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R1g0rM0rT1s
@R1g0rM0rT1s
13 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by Jynja
If it's any consolation, this seems to be a first Decan Scorpio thing.

All week, the first decan Scorp men I know have been behaving like so. *shrugs* Is your guy bumping into things, making small mistakes he usually won't make, letting himself go - disrupted sleeping patterns etc?

I thought it was a sun square moon thing until another friend complained bitterly too.



yeah...i'm first decan and my sleep is all over the place...bin a bit moody too and preferring my own company.

i just need to give myself a slap really, lol.
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CaringCancer
@CaringCancer
13 YearsCancer

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True Impulsv, and I will never stand in the way of alone time. I support that and often wish he'd take some. Here's the thing, I don't ask him to be at my house all the time. We've settled into a routine. There is never pressure on my part to him to stay with me every night. He chooses to. If he would just say "hey, I'm in a foul mood, I need some downtime to work on stuff around the house, or WHATEVER reason he has, then I would be A-OK with that. I know he's moody and like my post said, I don't make him feel bad about the moods, I let him be. Or I try to cheer him if I can. Most of the time hd snaps out of it. This was just very out of the ordinary is all.
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GodMadeBeauty
@GodMadeBeauty
13 Years

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It seems as if he's moody and probably stressed out and that last thing you need to do is snap off on him, I would just give him sometime, instead of just up and saying yes to him coming over - make other plans not involving other men just like dinner dates with female friends. He seems to just need sometime to sort things out that are going on with him right now. We as women usually take it personally and we either overwhelm them with love thinking they need that or we snap on them but the best thing is to give it space, I have my moments where I am downright evil, and my bf just steps away from me and stays out of my way.. It happens.
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GodMadeBeauty
@GodMadeBeauty
13 Years

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Well low and behold, I did a little research and found information for 1st decan scorps --- which says it should end today.

"Scorpio Decan 1 has been mentally wrestling with Mercury Retrograde square your decan since July 22 which may have been causing some negative thinking and communication problems. On August 8, Mercury turns direct which gives you an opportunity to see more clearly how negative programming during your childhood and from past generations has been impacting any problems lately with thinking and communication. As Marina wrote in that Mercury retrograde article, those negative programs can now be —successfully exorcised.??

Mercury continues to make this stressful square up till August 20, however a trine from Venus during this direct phase eases the tension. If you did go through a period of mental agitation which badly affected your relationships earlier this month, then Venus will allow you to kiss and make up from August 7 to 18. Fasten your seatbelts now because from August 24 to September 8, Mars passes through your decan. Mars will increase your energy levels, competitive spirit and libido. Mars trine Neptune from August 24 to 28 means you can successfully channel this great surge of primal energy into a higher vibration, through music, dance, any form of creativity really. Mars can be very aggressive, but the positive Neptune influence makes it more empathic, spiritual, caring and sharing


Yayyy!! There is hope!!!! Its just that darn Mercury Retrograde!
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CaringCancer
@CaringCancer
13 YearsCancer

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Thanks ladies, I sure hope so. He replied to my earlier little text of "Well, whatever is happening, know that I do love you. No matter what." He replied at lunch time - "Well, it's lunch, and it's over." My first reaction was "What's happening is lunch, and now lunch is over." But do you think that he meant "we" are over? In response to my "no matter what"? I am so confused. I need to stop thinking. We've been in such harmony that this is throwing me off.
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CaringCancer
@CaringCancer
13 YearsCancer

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Big Girl Panties, you're right, I much prefer calling or even face to face banter...During the weekday it's hard for he and I to talk on the phone. But I did call him at about 5:15 - He answered right away. He sounded calm and a little sad. We talked light heartedly for a few minutes, and then I asked if there was any way we could talk later in the evening. He jumped at the opportunity. I asked him how mad he was at me, and he replied with, "I thought you were mad at me." HAHA - Classic. So I went to pick him up from work and when we made eye contact, everything else melted away. God I love this guy - and I could tell he loves me too - he was all grinning from ear to ear and was being over the top nice. When he found out I hadn't changed my car battery yet, we got in the car, he made me drive to an auto parts place, we got a battery, and he changed it for me right there in the parking lot. We went back to his house and met up with his mom and step father - chatted with them for about an hour or so while he took a shower. We never really talked about the little fight - I think he was just too happy to be with me again, really, but he wanted to come to my house, like ususal. My room mate was home and we had a couple glasses of wine - well, he had a couple drinks too and went up to bed. I went up shortly thereafter and was hoping for some cuddle time - NOT sex, just some time in his arms - typically he wrpas me up in his arms and throws a leg over me, but he was too asleep last night to notice, I suppose. So I woke him up = bad idea. There is something still on his mind. I pushed him a bit and he lost his temper. He wouldn't have normally lost his temper over this, but he's in a funk, crabby still and I woke him up after a long ass day at work. This escalated into another fight and he demanded that I take him home,(he doesn't have a car right now) swore to me that it is over, and that he will never talk to me again. He rambled on about how he can't handle life and that he just wants to be alone with no one to bother him, etc... All of this after a night of him changing my battery, talking again about the future and everything. So, I can only operate under the fact that it IS over - A Scorpio usually means that when they say it, right? My heart hurts.
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GodMadeBeauty
@GodMadeBeauty
13 Years

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CaringCancer - I would give him sometime, as I said before. Sometimes we tend to over do it as women because we just want to show that we are there for them. Give him space, don't call him let him call you. It's going to be hard but you have to do it for yourself. The more you push/pressure him the worse it will be. I suggest you don't contact him and wait for him to contact you. Don't jump at the opportunity to see him or spend time with him, you are giving him wayyyyy to much. Most men like confident women who are loving but not needy/clingy. Trust me if you show that you can handle being without him he will come around and if he doesn't trust me there is going to be another chance with another person who might just be better for you.
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MadamCrab
@MadamCrab
13 Years

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Posted by P-Angel
Don't worry about not having "nothing" to freak out about .... because once this is (over), certainly, you will be able to find another "nothing" to get dramatic about.


I mean, he might not say, "bless you" one time when you sneeze, so then you'll have that to come in here and talk about, so you can relish in anticipation of a percieved slight.



Someone needs to get herself over to the menage a trois thread 😉 STAT
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CaringCancer
@CaringCancer
13 YearsCancer

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Ok Jynja - I think this is it. Although I am not sure of his EXACT Asc, I only know that he was born in the morning and I'm not sure exactly what city.

Me:
Asc: 27 deg 34' Cancer
Sun: Cancer
Moon: Scorpio
Mercury: Cancer
Venus: Cancer
Mars: Virgo
Saturn: Leo

His:
Asc: 28 deg 57' Libra
Sun: Scorpio
Moon: Capricorn
Mercury: Scorpio
Venus: Libra
Mars: Sagittarius
Saturn: Libra

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CaringCancer
@CaringCancer
13 YearsCancer

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Hi again GodMadeBeauty. you are correct. During the times that we have done the "space" thing before, he's always returned. He knows my strengths and he knows that I will be just fine without him. I will always make that clear. Last night wasn't really a mistake, drinking was. We would have been OK, actually, great, if that hadn't happened - silly me drank 3 glasses of wine and then realized I hadn't eaten dinner. Whoops. He's already started to text me this morning - diarrhea of the texting finger, so to speak. He said that he didn't mean what he said last night, that it was out of anger and frustration, and he wants to go away this weekend for a night. He said that he is sorry that he failed me, that he knows how little I ask for and how much I do, and that he failed me by being stubborn about a goodnight hug. I of course aoplogized for being dramatic about it. I do get sensitive to easily with wine. UGH. So right about now, I think we are on good ground, but I am going to lay low. He just asked if we could get together tonight for another try at a good evening. I haven't responded yet.
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GodMadeBeauty
@GodMadeBeauty
13 Years

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Well, I would tell him that you think that you two should have a couple of days away from eachother of course I would word it so it didnt seem like you were breaking things off with him. I would tell him you planned to go over a friends house before he asked so you won't be able to do it tonight. If you jump at the offer he is going to think he can act out of anger and you will come running back, remember CONFIDENCE. He will only do what you allow him too, so make sure that you stand your ground. Alcohol can either make things bad or good LOL, in your case they made them bad but on the same account you should be able to talk it out without him lashing out on you.
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GodMadeBeauty
@GodMadeBeauty
13 Years

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P-Angel, WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? I have seen you post in almost every forum I have been in, and everything you post is negative. I think you need to get your panties out of your ass and stop critizing everyone who wants advice and opinions which is the reason for the FORUM in the first damn place. It's called being HUMAN. I find it hilarious that you ACT like you have no damn heart and would never make a mistake or overreact a damn day in your life, get your LIFE together because clearly shit aint right in your life to be so damn negative and grumpy towards every person who posts.
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P-Angel
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Posted by GodMadeBeauty

Also, I have to say this, Stop blaming yourself for everything. All you were trying to do is spend some time with him, don't say "well if i wouldnt have done this, we would be fine" because what you did was not ABNORMAL a woman wanting to spend some cuddle time with her man is NORMAL. His actions and snappiness is not NORMAL, that is not your fault ITS HIS.







In fact, you are the person who is in the wrong.

She is responsible for everything she does/says. You call it fault.

It is wrong with a woman being so insecure that she can't handle moments when her man needs his space. Her needing cuddling is a sign of insecurity.

His actions of snappiness is normal, if he is human.

And it's not his fault ... it's his right.


You use the word, "fault" alot.


she is accountible for herself, and nothing has happened here except her making a big deal out of nothing ... and that is all on her.

The only thing he has done is have need for him-time .... which is perfectly normal.
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GodMadeBeauty
@GodMadeBeauty
13 Years

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Posted by P-Angel
Posted by GodMadeBeauty

Also, I have to say this, Stop blaming yourself for everything. All you were trying to do is spend some time with him, don't say "well if i wouldnt have done this, we would be fine" because what you did was not ABNORMAL a woman wanting to spend some cuddle time with her man is NORMAL. His actions and snappiness is not NORMAL, that is not your fault ITS HIS.







In fact, you are the person who is in the wrong.

She is responsible for everything she does/says. You call it fault.

It is wrong with a woman being so insecure that she can't handle moments when her man needs his space. Her needing cuddling is a sign of insecurity.

His actions of snappiness is normal, if he is human.

And it's not his fault ... it's his right.


You use the word, "fault" alot.


she is accountible for herself, and nothing has happened here except her making a big deal out of nothing ... and that is all on her.

The only thing he has done is have need for him-time .... which is perfectly normal.
click to expand




Are you kidding me? MAYBE YOU NEED TO RE-READ her posts.. her need of cuddling is a sign of insecurity? this is something that they normally do its not something that she wanted because she felt no love from him. She wanted to cuddle because they NORMALLY cuddle. It's something that she is use to doing. His bitchiness is his fault, if he wanted so much space why does he keep asking to come over? It is his fault because if he was needing so much space then he shouldnt be selfish and keep asking to be around her. She is accountable for herself, he asked to come over and she let him come over, but when she went to do what they NORMALLY do he snapped on her. If he so-called wants so much time for himself like you claim, then MAYBE HE SHOULD STOP ASKING TO COME OVER AND HANG OUT.
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CaringCancer
@CaringCancer
13 YearsCancer

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Wow Jynja and GMB! What a team! LOL. Thank you for coming to my defense. Here is one thing that needs to be known first and foremost. There is a connection between us that, when all is said and done, or unsaid and not done, keeps us trusting each other. I trust him with my life. He trusts me with his. Through all our growth, he has needed me. I HAVE been a pillar to him. And he to me, but not in a needy way, in a "life lessons and perspectives" way. We challenge each other to grow and often we don't need to talk to each other - just being around each other in SILENCE A few months ago, he said, "Please don't worry, where you are strong, I am weak, and where you are weak, I am strong." So, yes, I panic sometimes - I AM HUMAN. Yes, he can be completely irrational at times. - HE IS HUMAN. BUT, the cuddling thing is something that is a "couple thing". This is how he and I retreat with each other, calm the mind, relax at the end of the day. It's NORMAL for us. He is the one that started it - in fact, I was NEVER much of a snuggler in past relationships, but he is the snuggler. So yes, me seeking that out from him after an emotional day, is normal, because that is what we do. It does NOT say that I am needy.

Also, when we talked yesterday, he wanted to come to me. He'd had his alone night, the night prior, and he had spent all day thinking I was the one mad at him. So I am glad I called - granted I think more space is needed, I am glad I know now that there was a miscommunication. He told me last night that all he wanted was a night to get stuff done at his house, clean up, etc. And that he liked having the house to himself. Hey, I am MORE that happy to give him that,and then some - BUT WHEN YOU TAKE ONE NIGHT and then you want to be with ME again? That's kinda clear to me that his "ME TIME" is over for now.....

Thanks so much ladies for your insight - And Jynja, you have NO idea how SPOT on you are with your chart reading. My jaw dropped because those subjects have come up recently - and the part about preparing for the future? It came up this morning in one of the first texts he sent to me when he woke up. I got goosebumps.
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GodMadeBeauty
@GodMadeBeauty
13 Years

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The only reason I knew that was because it is the same with me and my guy, I never cuddled I hate being touched but he ALWAYS cuddles me when we go to sleep, so I'm use to it WITH HIM now, if he stopped I would be completely and utterly confused. If i went to do it and he snapped on me, I'd really be confused. There is no excuse for his bitchiness, if he needs time away then he needs to take time away...not to call you the next day and want to see u... Anddddddddd... also the fact that this lady is negative nancy and after reading about 6 negative posts from her on other forums I had to speak up, Shes a miserable, bitter, and clearly has to have issues within herself to chastise people the way she does. Most of the posts on the forum are advice posts... Thats why I love dxpnet. If she doesn't want to give real advice or hear people talk about their issues with certain signs, then she really should go to another forum, maybe some miserable forum where all the people are sullen, bitter and continuously spue verbal diarrehea.
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Demeter
@Demeter
13 Years

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ok... My hubby is a scorpio moon and i am a scorpio. Our fights are power struggles and we are both very stubborn.
when it is good and smooth it is really, really good. And when we decide to butt heads it is fantastically bad as well.
So.. What have I learned? To not come from a position of mental argument. When I say "A" and he responds aggressively (for whatver reason, most probably non related to me) my defensive reaction used to be "AAA". Then he replies with "AAAA" and it does not take much to just want to bite each other (but in a bad way) lol So what I learned is that we are coming from a mental place and not sharing much love. Instead, if one of us come from a position of love, like I say "A" and he replies "AAA" I just reply I just wanted to share "A" with you because that made me feel "X" and "y", it is enough to stop the pattern of agressivity and discuss differences without the hostility. Hope this helps.
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GodMadeBeauty
@GodMadeBeauty
13 Years

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Did I say that he had to be perfect? No i did not. D I said that if his personality suddenly changed I would be confused. I never said I'd snap on him and tell him that he must not love me, So where do you get insecurity from? I just simply said I'd be confused. Don't put text in my comments when I didn't say it. And yes when I don't cuddle him he wonders whats up and asks me. Any time you are use to something and it changes you question it, all humans do. I want you to tell me that you don't so I can laugh at you denying human nature.
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ArticleL
@ArticleL
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When I put words in your mouth I will shovel them back out until then dont put words in my mouth about putting words in your mouth. Also as far as human nature it differs from each human if I did the things you do Id commit suicide.

Perfection = You being confused because he snapped.
Bitchiness = Him being not perfect because as human nature goes people get mad every once in a while.

Also reference wise you arent even included, directly otherwise youd be the op. Nature wise your not.
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GodMadeBeauty
@GodMadeBeauty
13 Years

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Are you like 12 seriously? You sound like a child. Perfection and me being confused doesn't even go together. If you work at a convinent store and an old man comes in everyday at 0830 and suddenly he doesnt, you will wonder why he didn't come. It's not perfection its called change and no one is use to it so miss me with the bullshit.

bitchiness - either way whether hes perfect or not HES STILL BEING BITCHY I didn't say hate him for it, I said he's wrong for wanting to come over being bitchy if he wants to be to himself he can stay his ass at home.

You are clearly lost and have no idea what I am saying so stop reading so much into what I say and making it seem like I am an insecure perfectionist.

"Also reference wise you arent even included, directly otherwise youd be the op. Nature wise your not."

First of all, you are trying to hard to sound smart and you sound like a fool. This is called a FORUM and in this particular forum the user clearly wanted advice so I will give it, and if i want to reference my personal experience I will do what I please know why? BECAUSE ITS A PUBLIC FORUM and who's going to stop me?
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

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Posted by GodMadeBeauty

I will do what I please know why? BECAUSE ITS A PUBLIC FORUM and who's going to stop me?






Your own words will pack your bags for you ... because you obviously go into a tailspin and utter bullshit, and that will be your own demise.

Because look at what you say ......

Posted by GodMadeBeauty

.... if he wants to be to himself he can stay his ass at home.

click to expand





Only an idiot would counsel another saying such shit.
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GodMadeBeauty
@GodMadeBeauty
13 Years

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Posted by P-Angel
Posted by GodMadeBeauty

I will do what I please know why? BECAUSE ITS A PUBLIC FORUM and who's going to stop me?






Your own words will pack your bags for you ... because you obviously go into a tailspin and utter bullshit, and that will be your own demise.

Because look at what you say ......

Posted by GodMadeBeauty

.... if he wants to be to himself he can stay his ass at home.






Only an idiot would counsel another saying such shit.
click to expand






ONLY AN IDIOT WOULD BE LOGICAL? OK Miserable old lady.
Common sense says if you are in a bad mood and want to be to yourself to DO THAT! Yet I'm the idiot? LMAO! thats flipping hilarious but its evident that someone such as yourself would want to be around people when you are depressed or stressed because you do it everyday on the forum thats why all your posts are negative, but from your chart I can see that there is nothing that can be done because its in your nature to start confrontations when you are unhappy about your own life.

And LOL@Article getting excited because this bitter sullen old woman who has nothing but negative things to say has come to his/her whatever it is, Rescue. Correct me? oh you must be a Virgo. LMFAO! Article, If you don't know personal experience/peer testimony is the best way to give sound advice. From your posts I can tell you arent very educated so I'll excuse you this time.
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ArticleL
@ArticleL
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Posted by GodMadeBeauty
Posted by P-Angel
Posted by GodMadeBeauty

I will do what I please know why? BECAUSE ITS A PUBLIC FORUM and who's going to stop me?






Your own words will pack your bags for you ... because you obviously go into a tailspin and utter bullshit, and that will be your own demise.

Because look at what you say ......

Posted by GodMadeBeauty

.... if he wants to be to himself he can stay his ass at home.






And LOL@Article getting excited because this bitter sullen old woman who has nothing but negative things to say has come to his/her whatever it is, Rescue. Correct me? oh you must be a Virgo. LMFAO! Article, If you don't know personal experience/peer testimony is the best way to give sound advice. From your posts I can tell you arent very educated so I'll excuse you this time.
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Im confused.
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