Bulls and Kids

I have previously posted on this discussion board about me and the bull I meet about 5mths back and at first I had questions about how they act when they like someone and etc. so needless to say things progress and now we are at the point that I just found yesterday that I am pregnant so i just told him and he is like we are both grown and we know what could happen and etc but then he says he is not ready for a kid and keep in mind that he is 28 will be 29 next month and this would be his first child. So at this point I am just confuse and I feel like that he made his bed he should have to lie in in and not try to find other options and not deal with the problem at hand. so if you have any advice please feel free

he's been honest --- and bulls do like kids but depends on where he is in his life, the ones I know totally plan for kids... stages of life I think. And don't like things to happen impulsively like you say 'make you bed, lie in it'!

If he's not ready, don't expect him to be, the stubbornness is deep-rooted...

Thats the problem we were not thinking or atleast not thinkin in terms of what if this happen or if that happens. Believe me I want my baby but I dont want to force fatherhood on someone thats not right either.

I do have a very supportive family that will back me 100% so that is a blessing

Thanks Starfish225, Thats my belief as well just to pray on it and be prepared and I kept beating myseld up for not being careful and getting caught up but you live and you defintely learn from your mistakes.

Ack. I'm sorry you're in this situation. Not easy.

I know I'm still a teenager but I would like to offer some advice too.
From what you say here, it seems like you want to keep the baby. If you believe you can raise a child on your own with no father around then I say go for it. And let your bull be as involved as he wants to be. But as he's only just found out this news, he is probably still coming around to the idea of being a father. Give him time to think about it. As neither of you planned it, it was a big shock to him. You can't really just give him the news and expect him to be on board from the start. He needs time to think. Give him time and talk to him. If you don't want to do it alone, then you should abort. There are enough unwanted children in the world as it is.
Good luck. I hope your bull comes around to it. Taureans make wonderful parents so it would be a shame if he didn't.

Well for an update as of yesterday I inform him that I was keeping the baby and we had made an appointment to get the abortion, but I became nervous and change my mind. Needless to say he was very upset and his basic thing was like he wants and house and etc before he has a baby and that he is just not ready so he did tell me I am playing emotional games since I told him that he has to play no part I told him to continue to live his life like me and this soon to be child never existed and he said that I was messing up his life and I think he will resent me for a while and either get over it and be a father when the time comes or not be a father.

Also he accused me of keeping the baby because he is about to get famous or whatever he said which doesn't matter to me but he thinks it is money motivated on my part that is not the issue I feel why shouldn't I keep my baby I am a 30 year old woman with a career about to get another degree in Dec I can defintely afford to take care of my child without him and as far as a relationship I know he wants to be with me but he has been hurt and he is scared that I will hurt him because before our argument he ask me to go with him to Texas to visit his family I had to work and couldn't go. Lastly I am giving him his space to take everything in and come around if not life goes on,, but I will keep you all uupdated he is stubborn so the updates might take a while since he is not talking to me right now.

Perfect time to explain my situation..............My daughter's father will be 29 on may 20th. He had his 1st child at the age of 25 w/someone he was engaged to. In the meantime b/w time, he and I now have a child together. He told me the same story how he wasnt financially ready and how he didnt want me to continue my pregnancy. I told my sefl I wasnt gonna have an abortion b/c I know how and not to make a baby and so did he. I had our daughter 12/08/07 and I was 24. I had/have a lot of support from family and friends where I said F**K him if he doesnt want to be there. He didnt want to believe me when I told him I was prego. I guess cuz he was still in a relationship w/his 1st daughter mom. He told my dad he will take care of our baby if it was his, it is and he does as much as I allow. Meaning I only call him when I need somethin, but my daughter and I just moved into a bigger place w/more bills that i now have. I filed a petition for child support and since then we have been trying to work on our communication.

I didnt take him to court but something tells me I made a mistake. Idk, i dont like being in this position, should i or shouldnt i, or did i make the right choice, wrong choice? I now ask myself those questions. I will honestly admit we both play games but im tired of it. Even when I tell myself we are gonna work through 3rd ptys that still doesnt work cuz we end up speaking to each other as far as the parenting goes.

Other than that ill give him credit as to not being a dead beat dad. He will be there for ur child.

sorry scorp1114, i didnt read ur full story...my daughter dad said I was only takin him to court 4 money. I told him if that was the case i told him I would have had a child w/a pro athlete, dr, lawyer. lol.

As 4 u cusp of magic......thats someting 2 think about...the resentment and all and the whole family thing. Word on I heard from mutual ppl my b d and i know, that he will not have children w/ any ohter females besides me b m 1. I believe that b/c of the whole family oriented thing and the whole american dream vision. Idk if i believe 100% about him resenting me, but ya never know.

What is ur sign?

Ummm excuse me but what is all of this talk about not wanting to Force this dude to be a father & him resenting you for it? Who gives a fuck about him resenting you? & You aren't forcing him into fatherhood unless you lyed about being on B.C., poked holes in rubbers, or held a gun to his head during your time of ovulation & made him participate in sex without protection. HE has forced himself into this situation by making shitty choices. Yes you made a bad choice too but why do you think that you should have to be the only one whose life is altered because of that? I do not get it.

I am a bull as is my daughters father. We were in a cohabitating relationship for 4 years before I got pregnant & he was or seemed to be excited about the pregnancy, that is until after she was born when he decided that fatherhood was not for him. Well guess what? to fucking bad. He left on a Friday & on Monday I was at child support, not because I'm a money grubbing bitch but because it costs a lot of money to raise & child & I didn't make her on my own so I'm not going to be the only one whose financially responsible. Shortly after his departure he decided that it would be more to his liking to go out & party than pick his daughter up for visits. Too bad, I would drive over to his house & drop her off, rather he liked it or not, he was going to participate, grow the fuck up, act like a man & handle his obligations to be a man. My daughter is now 5 years old & her dad is excellent. He is financially responsible & buys her extra, he always picks her up for visits & asks to see her more which I do allow. We both TOGETHER just went to register her for kindergarten. Had I not "forced" him to be an active part of her life from the beginning, I do not doubt that he would still be out partying & blowing his money while I sat & bitched about what a loser he is.

I see far too many women who will sit back & complain about their dead beat daddy's but do nothing more then bitch. Yes, we as women are strong, capable, independent etc & if need be we can raise children on our own BUT we will never have a penis, a man brain, the insight of a man or the love that a dad gives his child because a fathers love is different than a mothers. Will the child survive & even be happy without a father? YES but we can also survive on soda & candy.....doesn't mean that it's good for you. My daughters dad not participating was never an option for me because it was not what was my best for my child. Children need a father figure in their lives which is why it takes both a man & woman to create one. I'm not saying you should attempt to force this man to be with you in a relationship but to be an active participant in his child's life....YES you most definitely should do whatever you need to do to make sure that happens. If not I guarantee you, he will have knocked someone else up in a years time, Why? because he isn't being held responsible for his actions. One will continue to do bad shit until they get caught & suffer the consequences. Just my 2 cents. 🙂

Thanks everyone for your comments, yes me and the bull have talk recently and he was basically upset at first since he thought that I was trying to trap him or something. I explain to him that was not the case we both knew what we were doing and we didn't take precatious so it's just the risk you take I am 3 months now and he is starting to respond well and I know he will be there even though this is something that wasn't plan. As far as child support I trust that he wil do what he needs to do, but if I have any issues the courts will be involved and I think that is only right, but I also think that is his biggest fear in this situation for me to have that control.

Thats good to hear scorp1114. U will be good.

I came to the conclusion a few wks ago that me doing the child support thing may have been a way 4 me to get my daughter's dad attention. If that was the case, i havent figured it out, it worked! Our communication is getting back on the good foot. lol.