Confused and concerned.

Ok. So ive posted here before about my ex (im sure most of you would remember it if i started talking about it) but at the beginning of the year she left me, asked me to come comfort her and it sent my mind into an overdrive "omg come back to me!!!" streak. She got with her new bf 2 months after that and then after me begging for a chance and blah blah blah she asked me to pretend her and her new bf are nothing but my imagination. Its been roughly 7 months now (had many heated screaming matches during this time) and last week after she had unblocked me on fb she had asked if me and her could talk and get things off our chest to at least be civil to one annother at the parties we both attend. Anyways, all i want to know that after all the heartache, Bing and her acting like a royal C during all of this, shpuld i do it? I mean shes a Taurus and ik their stubborn as hell but idk if i should just give in and just get it over with or if i should continue to avoid her like i have been at the parties. Just want some advice on the matter.

Ok. So ive posted here before about my ex (im sure most of you would remember it if i started talking about it) but at the beginning of the year she left me, asked me to come comfort her and it sent my mind into an overdrive "omg come back to me!!!" streak. She got with her new bf 2 months after that and then after me begging for a chance and blah blah blah she asked me to pretend her and her new bf are nothing but my imagination. Its been roughly 7 months now (had many heated screaming matches during this time) and last week after she had unblocked me on fb she had asked if me and her could talk and get things off our chest to at least be civil to one annother at the parties we both attend. Anyways, all i want to know that after all the heartache, Bing and her acting like a royal C during all of this, shpuld i do it? I mean shes a Taurus and ik their stubborn as hell but idk if i should just give in and just get it over with or if i should continue to avoid her like i have been at the parties. Just want some advice on the matter.

No, ignore her. It's going to be a repeating cycle.

Give her the closure she's looking for.

But don't give her the satisfaction.

She's not coming back to you.

Your intense feelings for her is what prompted this meeting.

You're pissed off, therefore you're not over her. She knows this.

Keep in mind, this closure is for you too.

My advice put your emotional rants (venting on paper)

Then read it over.

Rationalize what you wrote.

The 'rationalization' part is the converstion you have with her face to face.

Good Luck.

I would continue the no contact, which also means avoiding those parties too. It would be difficult for me to get over someone if I was constantly running into them.

I have been. Just recently started going back to them with my new gf and show her what my idea of fun is all about. Btw i go to pirate events so yeah... Anyways, it still sucks and im not hoping thst she returns.i miss her but thats about it.

Posted by Brandonb55
I have been. Just recently started going back to them with my new gf and show her what my idea of fun is all about. Btw i go to pirate events so yeah... Anyways, it still sucks and im not hoping thst she returns.i miss her but thats about it.

OK.

Yeah ive moved on, so theres nothing ro wprry abput on me hoping shell return. And after her completely destroying any shred of respect and trust i had for her its going to take a whole hell of allot of regaining it all to ever get me back to that point we once were.

Or anywhere close for that matter

Get the closure.

So im supposed to have that conversation with her tonight. I still dont want it but i know its better if me and her are at least civil. But i cant even look at her without feeling nervous and having this cringe in my chest, how am i supposed to have a conversation with her about anything having to do with me and her?

what are you nervous about? what plays through your mind when you think about it?

Im nervous about doing or saying something that will just screw me over even more with her, the group of friends we both hang out with and my gf who im with now. I get so toungtied and retarted when weve talked before. Like she was my first actual love, i can barely stomache being around her and her bf as is and all that jazz. Lets put it this way, my head and heart was played with after she left me, she played the hot and cold game and it completely messed me up. Now whenever i look at her all i can think about is everything she would tell me when we were together and after and how neither make sence towards the other. So yeah, im nervouse about this. Btw im happy with my current gf so im not trying to insinuate that i want her back.

Posted by Brandonb55
Im nervous about doing or saying something that will just screw me over even more with her, the group of friends we both hang out with and my gf who im with now. I get so toungtied and retarted when weve talked before. Like she was my first actual love, i can barely stomache being around her and her bf as is and all that jazz. Lets put it this way, my head and heart was played with after she left me, she played the hot and cold game and it completely messed me up. Now whenever i look at her all i can think about is everything she would tell me when we were together and after and how neither make sence towards the other. So yeah, im nervouse about this. Btw im happy with my current gf so im not trying to insinuate that i want her back.

sounds like you are not ready. can you put the conversation off?

I wish. But she's so hell bent on talking to me about this after she basically told me game over and pretend like her and her bf dont exist when i fought for her to come back. Im giving in because no matter how much i try to dodge it she's going to keep trying. Shes stubborn as hell.... Even for a taurus

Posted by Redoctober2000

Posted by Brandonb55
So im supposed to have that conversation with her tonight. I still dont want it but i know its better if me and her are at least civil. But i cant even look at her without feeling nervous and having this cringe in my chest, how am i supposed to have a conversation with her about anything having to do with me and her?

Why do something or suggest something if you are too weak to carry through?!

Just blank her as if she doesn't exist then?!

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Ive been, shes the one who wants to talk. Im happy with pretending both of them are just figments of my imagination

Posted by Brandonb55
I wish. But she's so hell bent on talking to me about this after she basically told me game over and pretend like her and her bf dont exist when i fought for her to come back. Im giving in because no matter how much i try to dodge it she's going to keep trying. Shes stubborn as hell.... Even for a taurus

ah, i think i see your problem. you gotta take this bull by the horns. do what you want. do not let her to call the shots.

she may be stubborn. be more stubborn. don't let her push you around. talk to her when YOU are ready.

its over. you've owe her nothing, both of you have moved on. you've got nothing to lose by putting the brakes on this. you're entitled to go at your speed. don't let her push you around. let her keep trying. put yourself first. she can wait.

Ill try. Well when she tries to talk tonight ill just tell her im not ready for that talk yet, ill be civil to her but that talk is still a while out.

Ghost her!! Find new friends for the time being. Avoid her in every way. Focus on your girlfriend. As the saying goes, out of sight out of mind

Posted by Brandonb55
Ill try. Well when she tries to talk tonight ill just tell her im not ready for that talk yet, ill be civil to her but that talk is still a while out.

it's what i would do.

good luck.

Posted by pinkbird03
Ghost her!! Find new friends for the time being. Avoid her in every way. Focus on your girlfriend. As the saying goes, out of sight out of mind

True, itl be better when me and my gf get into a place because my ex lives just up the street and i see them regularly

If you're so keen NOT to have this talk then why are you having this talk?

I can appreciate the closure aspect but shouldn't it already be closed prior to starting a new relationship with someone else?

Does your girlfriend know you're having this 'talk' with your ex? I think I read your gf is a Scorp. Try not to do anything to undermine your current relationship.

I'm not convinced you are fully over your ex. This is stirring up too much turmoil in you for it to be over. That doesn't mean you want her back. It just means it's not over which is possibly why this talk and closure might be good in a way.

Be a man. Find your balls. Sort the ex bull out. Move on. For good. Oh and spill the juicy details of how it went later on —

Yeah she knew we were having the talk. And it went actually well honestly. All it was was basically us agreeing to let bigons be bigons and (this shocked the shit out of me) gave me a hug and during so she turned her head away from the nape of my kneck after a couple seconds. (Havent seen her try to hide actions that bad for a long time.) she told me it was great to see me with the most lit up smile ive EVER seen her have, then as i stumbled back to my lass to find my bottle of rum i busted my toe open on a random rock... Lol. But yeah i was worried for nothen, things are good between us i guess n stuff so yeah.

Posted by Redoctober2000

Posted by Brandonb55

Posted by pinkbird03
Ghost her!! Find new friends for the time being. Avoid her in every way. Focus on your girlfriend. As the saying goes, out of sight out of mind

True, itl be better when me and my gf get into a place because my ex lives just up the street and i see them regularly

Sure but something tells me this new "gf" is just a "front" to wave around to everyone /your ex to make it look like you have moved on but irl, you are scared shitless of the hold the Taurus still has over you!

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And no its not a front, i acfually have fallen. HARD for my gf, and she told me the same for the first time (input swooned voice) ahhhh, it made my heart soar! Lol. But seriously, happiest ive ever been with anyone

Posted by Brandonb55

Posted by Redoctober2000

Posted by Brandonb55

Posted by pinkbird03
Ghost her!! Find new friends for the time being. Avoid her in every way. Focus on your girlfriend. As the saying goes, out of sight out of mind

True, itl be better when me and my gf get into a place because my ex lives just up the street and i see them regularly

Sure but something tells me this new "gf" is just a "front" to wave around to everyone /your ex to make it look like you have moved on but irl, you are scared shitless of the hold the Taurus still has over you!

And no its not a front, i acfually have fallen. HARD for my gf, and she told me the same for the first time (input swooned voice) ahhhh, it made my heart soar! Lol. But seriously, happiest ive ever been with anyone

click to expand

That's super news on the ex front and you got good closure. Plus nice one with your current gf. So sweet —

@Brandon,

What advice were you looking for?

You didn't want closure.

You are currently in a relationship with someone you stated that you were in love with.

Just BLOCK her then.

It's not going to be an issue.

She doesn't want you.

She just needs to know that you're over her.

You're making a mountain out out a mopehill.

Or are you here just to get pity?

What "Taurus" advice were you looking for?

You're acting as if she's trying to get you back.

Posted by TaurusBull1977
You're acting as if she's trying to get you back.

Ik. I shoulda just went to a different page bit but it for some reason seemed like the best fit for it. And no im not sayong shes trying to get me back, just observations of it all. And she is blocked, im going to act civil when and if shes around but im not going out of my way to become a freind of hers.

OK.

Fair enough.

Posted by Brandonb55
Yeah she knew we were having the talk. And it went actually well honestly. All it was was basically us agreeing to let bigons be bigons and (this shocked the shit out of me) gave me a hug and during so she turned her head away from the nape of my kneck after a couple seconds. (Havent seen her try to hide actions that bad for a long time.) she told me it was great to see me with the most lit up smile ive EVER seen her have, then as i stumbled back to my lass to find my bottle of rum i busted my toe open on a random rock... Lol. But yeah i was worried for nothen, things are good between us i guess n stuff so yeah.

Glad it went well. The lesson here? Have more confidence in yourself!

Posted by jeane

Posted by Brandonb55
Yeah she knew we were having the talk. And it went actually well honestly. All it was was basically us agreeing to let bigons be bigons and (this shocked the shit out of me) gave me a hug and during so she turned her head away from the nape of my kneck after a couple seconds. (Havent seen her try to hide actions that bad for a long time.) she told me it was great to see me with the most lit up smile ive EVER seen her have, then as i stumbled back to my lass to find my bottle of rum i busted my toe open on a random rock... Lol. But yeah i was worried for nothen, things are good between us i guess n stuff so yeah.

Glad it went well. The lesson here? Have more confidence in yourself!

click to expand

Confidence in myself isnt the issue, confidence in others is.

Lol confused by this ^^