Do we really make that big an impact?

My only girlfriend and I, you know the one, the one you see every week or so, talk alot on the phone about troubles. Well her troubles with men were getting worse and our contact dwindled to every 3-4 months, with so so text messaging. She became more involved with the other side of the fence because of worthless men entering her life and no 'me' when she needed me was too involved with getting my life in order, was in a spot as well. Now she parties too much and is involved with drama women who are just using her for the pretty transition girl.

My best guy friend talked all the time more than any girlfriend I have ever had. He could talk for hours, pondering this angle or that one. Well after my life began to get in order and his fell into routine things began to taper off. We had nothing relly to tlk about. We were talked out. My life began to roll quickly forward while his began to go back a lil with family drama which got worse. I had no idea and again was heavily involved with my work, 16 hr days, 13 hr days, etc. So he called but I was always busy finally listened to the message. Grandmother had a stroke (not sure she's gonna make it) over new info about ex daughter in law/his step mom (just in case) burying now her third husband, which started an investigation into his own fathers death, how bizarre!! Well he fell off then came back with this scheme only seen in movies to fix his situation and he aint kiddin.

To facilitate my growth in my career I had to leave a job I only had one toe left in. In doing so I came back to fill in for someone in need just last week only to find out, that one of my coworkers now has cancer and the other is pregnant again, 21, by same man who is worthless, what a shocker, cant hold a job who has now left to help hurricane victims, commendable while his woman, alone to have the baby, again worthless. She came to me alot for advice since I am older but then I left and look what happened she is doomed to a life of misery. No true future, settled. She told me, "this is my life , I am just gonna live it". He got her pregnant on purpose so she would not leave.

My point or question is do you ever feel like glue, in many peoples lives? And have been taken out of their lives by doors just opening, leading you away on paths with a sense of ease, pulled one direction only to bounce back to see what happened while you were gone? Like if you could have stayed, things could have had a positive turn but for whatever reason were lead on your way? Does that make sense?? I know Tiamat will understand me...

I don't know how i could get a woman pregnant on purpose without raping her. Looks like you like to make excuses for everybody's mistakes and bad choices.

Yeah sometimes but im still willing to tell people to take care of themselves or drop em when they depend on me too much though.I don't know about the woman with the pregancy thing,im in a undecided yet situation where my mom has a job for me to help rebuild houses in alabama so completely see his point in wanting to do it,thier also being paid very well and will be finished in an guesstimated six months maybe.She played part in that so just as much her fault as it is his.So yeah,I see your points but I can still be cruel to make sure those things happening don't happen and the individuals have to see things for themselves and don't let them drag me down with them or feel guilty about thier decisions.I do let my "stinger"(astrology hypothetically speaking) come out and play if I have to get a point across.Think of it as you had to take care of yourself but your friends are having rough times,or you didn't know the real them.The only thing you really can be held maybe "responsible" for is being a ear for them to talk to and nothing more,although I still completely understand how you don't want to see people you care about hurt,or hurting themselves.It's not your responsibility to take care of thier lives for them,your own is the only one you can be held accountable for,if they're trying to make you feel guilty whip out your "horns",it's okay to do that sometimes.

Mr. Crabby, you are crabby, aren't you?? Absolutely, Tiamat, they have their lives and I mine and yes I am only responsible for my own life but thought it was odd how quickly they have 'fallen', so to speak, after I was out of the picture. Neither are making me directly feel guilty, I think its just some internal mental indirect guilt I am feeling like I can fix all who are in my world, but I am not Jesus.
We all do make bad choices at one time or another but under who's influence do we sway? Some are easily influenced, I am not. I will listen to what you speak and will either agree or disagree depending on what decision I have already made on the issue. Only a few people I will let influence me, key word 'let'. Must be my stubbornness.
All and all after retrospection, I think I am making my 'presence' a bit more powerful than I should. I am not a fix-all, just a fix-some. Thanks!! for the input, tiamat and Mr. Crabby.

You mentioned something very interesting, that they have fallen once you were out of the picture. But I'll tell you that sometimes I feel the same way, like I'm Dear Abby to my friends and I don't understand how they make some really OBVIOUSLY bad choices but how when they listen to me it goes good for them and they themselves recognize it and always come to me. I never tell anyone what to do but I will listen very carefully and get a feel for the situation and then honestly tell them how I see it. Then if they want advice I'll give them suggestions. You know there are times when I just feel like yelling "Didn't I warn you! couldn't you just LISTEN" or "Where's your common sense and willpower!" but you know, you're not responsible for other peoples behaviors, not even your friends- it's not your fault they choose not to analyze their own situations, they choose not to take action, choose not to use their common sense (we all have it) not to see what's infront of them. These are GROWN people, adults who can take care of themselves or atleast should instead of pitying themselves (like some do). From what I've seen WE ALL make mistakes knowing that we're making them while we make them! A fat percent of the time for sure.