Help! Talking with Taurus man about something he did

So, I've been texting/calling with this Taurus guy and we get along really well.

Usually when we talk about something serious or emotional, we're both a 100% present, but today for the first time when I was talking about my childhood issues and our common psychological hang ups growing up, he failed to reply to one of the major issues, and then he excused himself and asked me for about law (were studying) and then told me to go study while he watches a TV show and that he'll get back to me later...... What?

I'm confused and hurt by his dismissive behavior right in the middle of a sensitive talk. I do want to talk to him about it but not sure how I do that without making him defensive?

Posted by tiziani
well definitely be open about how you feel (after all it's the best way to help yourself not dwell on it).



But go into it with the awareness you aren't owed anything.



I cannot tell you the numbers of times people opened up to me about something they felt was a big deal to them (because of the fear maybe) and, once they told me, I was more accepting of it than even they were, to know not to make a big deal of it.



A lot of the times we don't want acceptance, we want drama or attention instead. If that's where you are at in your life, you may be disappointed by the reaction you get in a lot of relationships.

Thank you, that was a lovely reply 😊❤

And I appreciate the reminder about nobody owing us anything.. It becomes easier to be expressive about needs and wants when you don't simply expect it.

And I agree with you.. Not looking for drama at all, thats why I asked. I want to approach it in a way that leads to better understanding between us and openness.

Posted by like-an-ocean
So, I've been texting/calling with this Taurus guy and we get along really well.



Usually when we talk about something serious or emotional, we're both a 100% present, but today for the first time when I was talking about my childhood issues and our common psychological hang ups growing up, he failed to reply to one of the major issues, and then he excused himself and asked me for about law (were studying) and then told me to go study while he watches a TV show and that he'll get back to me later...... What?



I'm confused and hurt by his dismissive behavior right in the middle of a sensitive talk. I do want to talk to him about it but not sure how I do that without making him defensive?

maybe he needs time to process? Hence the i'll get back to you later thing...

Was this on phone? Why didn't you say anything when he said will get back to you later? Sometimes guys don't like or maybe cannot handle heavy conversations.

Also was it something related to your personal issues or his?

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by like-an-ocean
So, I've been texting/calling with this Taurus guy and we get along really well.



Usually when we talk about something serious or emotional, we're both a 100% present, but today for the first time when I was talking about my childhood issues and our common psychological hang ups growing up, he failed to reply to one of the major issues, and then he excused himself and asked me for about law (were studying) and then told me to go study while he watches a TV show and that he'll get back to me later...... What?



I'm confused and hurt by his dismissive behavior right in the middle of a sensitive talk. I do want to talk to him about it but not sure how I do that without making him defensive?

maybe he needs time to process? Hence the i'll get back to you later thing... click to expand

click to expand

I know it can be hurtful to girls, but guys sometimes don't want heavy talks

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by like-an-ocean
So, I've been texting/calling with this Taurus guy and we get along really well.



Usually when we talk about something serious or emotional, we're both a 100% present, but today for the first time when I was talking about my childhood issues and our common psychological hang ups growing up, he failed to reply to one of the major issues, and then he excused himself and asked me for about law (were studying) and then told me to go study while he watches a TV show and that he'll get back to me later...... What?



I'm confused and hurt by his dismissive behavior right in the middle of a sensitive talk. I do want to talk to him about it but not sure how I do that without making him defensive?

maybe he needs time to process? Hence the i'll get back to you later thing... click to expand

click to expand

I don't think do, he's never done it before. It felt more like he wasn't in the mood, but he's never done that either. 😐

Posted by puhleeze

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by like-an-ocean
So, I've been texting/calling with this Taurus guy and we get along really well.



Usually when we talk about something serious or emotional, we're both a 100% present, but today for the first time when I was talking about my childhood issues and our common psychological hang ups growing up, he failed to reply to one of the major issues, and then he excused himself and asked me for about law (were studying) and then told me to go study while he watches a TV show and that he'll get back to me later...... What?



I'm confused and hurt by his dismissive behavior right in the middle of a sensitive talk. I do want to talk to him about it but not sure how I do that without making him defensive?

maybe he needs time to process? Hence the i'll get back to you later thing... click to expand

I know it can be hurtful to girls, but guys sometimes don't want heavy talks click to expand

click to expand

Nope, on texts.. It wasn't that heavy, but mostly about my past pain.. Maybe he didn't know how to handle it? Not sure.

Also, no, he loves deep talks.. We have them all the time whether on phone or text.. Thats why I'm surprised by his behavior.

Posted by puhleeze
Was this on phone? Why didn't you say anything when he said will get back to you later? Sometimes guys don't like or maybe cannot handle heavy conversations.

I didn't say anything because I got a little angry and wanted to calm down first.. So I plan to ask him when he texts/calls..

How do you think I should go about it?

Posted by like-an-ocean

Posted by puhleeze

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by like-an-ocean
So, I've been texting/calling with this Taurus guy and we get along really well.



Usually when we talk about something serious or emotional, we're both a 100% present, but today for the first time when I was talking about my childhood issues and our common psychological hang ups growing up, he failed to reply to one of the major issues, and then he excused himself and asked me for about law (were studying) and then told me to go study while he watches a TV show and that he'll get back to me later...... What?



I'm confused and hurt by his dismissive behavior right in the middle of a sensitive talk. I do want to talk to him about it but not sure how I do that without making him defensive?

maybe he needs time to process? Hence the i'll get back to you later thing... click to expand

I know it can be hurtful to girls, but guys sometimes don't want heavy talks click to expand

Nope, on texts.. It wasn't that heavy, but mostly about my past pain.. Maybe he didn't know how to handle it? Not sure.



Also, no, he loves deep talks.. We have them all the time whether on phone or text.. Thats why I'm surprised by his behavior. click to expand

click to expand

Maybe that's what it was, he didn't know how to handle it or what to say. Yes, let yourself calm down and wait and see if he gets back later, or ask him if that will make you feel better. At most he will say I don't know what to say.

Posted by puhleeze

Posted by like-an-ocean

Posted by puhleeze

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by like-an-ocean
So, I've been texting/calling with this Taurus guy and we get along really well.



Usually when we talk about something serious or emotional, we're both a 100% present, but today for the first time when I was talking about my childhood issues and our common psychological hang ups growing up, he failed to reply to one of the major issues, and then he excused himself and asked me for about law (were studying) and then told me to go study while he watches a TV show and that he'll get back to me later...... What?



I'm confused and hurt by his dismissive behavior right in the middle of a sensitive talk. I do want to talk to him about it but not sure how I do that without making him defensive?

maybe he needs time to process? Hence the i'll get back to you later thing... click to expand

I know it can be hurtful to girls, but guys sometimes don't want heavy talks click to expand

Nope, on texts.. It wasn't that heavy, but mostly about my past pain.. Maybe he didn't know how to handle it? Not sure.



Also, no, he loves deep talks.. We have them all the time whether on phone or text.. Thats why I'm surprised by his behavior. click to expand

Maybe that's what it was, he didn't know how to handle it or what to say. Yes, let yourself calm down and wait and see if he gets back later, or ask him if that will make you feel better. At most he will say I don't know what to say. click to expand

click to expand

So I talked to him in a non-blamey-but-sticking-to-guns way and he apologized saying he slept and didn't realize that he had been insensitive.. Sweet.

Happy ending ❤

Thanks for your help!