How do I deal with this man?

My ex cheated on me and mentally and physically abused me for years, we have two kids together and I left him for a year to get away from the abuse I finally got in contact with him thinking he had changed and he was sorry which he was at first and he was trying so hard to get his family back but now he’s jumped in to a new relationship and he has a totally different attitude with me. I am trying to maintain a connection with him and his children even though it should be him that makes the effort but because they are young I don’t want them to miss out or grow up having childhood issues that stem into their adulthood.

My ex has this behaviour now where it’s like he’s blaming me for the way his life is constantly making me feel guilty for leaving him and blaming me for everything that goes wrong in his life because if I never left him he wouldn’t have been put in that situation even though it’s himself that puts himself in predicaments.

What can I do about this stubbornness he’s gone and landed himself in prison and everytime he rings me to speak to his children it’s to also send me abuse about how I’m a rubbish mother and that it’s my fault why he’s in prison when the crime he did was nothing to do with me he did it himself.

I’m very vulnerable right now and often I do think he’s right but I know he’s not I just keep giving in to his mind games and torture but I haven’t got it in me to cut him off because I feel like maybe one day he might change

Posted by Klh1203

My ex cheated on me and mentally and physically abused me for years, we have two kids together and I left him for a year to get away from the abuse I finally got in contact with him thinking he had changed and he was sorry which he was at first and he was trying so hard to get his family back but now he’s jumped in to a new relationship and he has a totally different attitude with me. I am trying to maintain a connection with him and his children even though it should be him that makes the effort but because they are young I don’t want them to miss out or grow up having childhood issues that stem into their adulthood.

My ex has this behaviour now where it’s like he’s blaming me for the way his life is constantly making me feel guilty for leaving him and blaming me for everything that goes wrong in his life because if I never left him he wouldn’t have been put in that situation even though it’s himself that puts himself in predicaments.

What can I do about this stubbornness he’s gone and landed himself in prison and everytime he rings me to speak to his children it’s to also send me abuse about how I’m a rubbish mother and that it’s my fault why he’s in prison when the crime he did was nothing to do with me he did it himself.

I’m very vulnerable right now and often I do think he’s right but I know he’s not I just keep giving in to his mind games and torture but I haven’t got it in me to cut him off because I feel like maybe one day he might change

maybe he needs some one to talk to, like a therapist to let out his anger issues. professional help because the stubbornness is not gonna go away. He needs probably some "perspective" to see how he's been treating others, and a way for himself to get out of that rut, basically.

you are trying really hard to help him so thats good, because he is the father of your children.



he blames u all the time while no one would fault u for leaving him since he abused you mentally/physically. No one wants to go through that torture day in and day out. and that's not a marriage...protect and love.

thats abuse and destroy.

maybe he needs some spiritual help too, so try to stay away from his abuse, and get him some help. Ask if you can find a way to get some outside help so you dont have to suffer too much of his abuse. You're only drowning yourself too much, becoming a martyr to that treatment.

Posted by topes

Taurus' don't ever change. Once they are this abusive they will always be abusive. Don't beat the dead bull.

The kids will get over it.

Hes a complete piece of work. You will understand eventually.

Thank you, I just needed some clarification in case I am wasting my time which it seems like I am. I just didn’t want to give up if there was a potential change.