Taurus Man Crushed Me

If a guy behaves as though you are less of a person because you both wanted to sleep with each other to forget him now and move on to someone who appreciates someone who is upfront with how they actually feel as akin to pretending

@dyymz: i dont get how anyone can be intimate with anyone w/o being in a relationship with that person, thats just me tho 😢 i guess i kind of understand you, i have venus aries......its painful, a taurus male seem to be the only kind of man who is able to keep up with our expectations of a man. The minute you became intimate with him w/o having any concrete attachment, it was going downhill. Im sorry :/

Posted by Dyymz

I have read that Taurean men tend to ignore or withdraw if they don't want to revel their feelings, or if they feel like things are going too fast. And for the worst, they tend to "side eye" if a woman gives it up to fast. Im not loose or fast and I really want to tell this man that I moved in that direction too fast and I want to get to know I'm better so we could establish a true friendship and trust aside of having sex.

Taurus individuals are consistent.
Linear.
There was no false misrepresentation.
He verbalized and demonstrated what he was looking for.
You agreed.

No Jekyl and Hyde...
His reaction may have been stemmed from your reaction.
He's baffled that you're baffled.

Posted by Dyymz

I have read that Taurean men tend to ignore or withdraw if they don't want to revel their feelings, or if they feel like things are going too fast. And for the worst, they tend to "side eye" if a woman gives it up to fast. Im not loose or fast and I really want to tell this man that I moved in that direction too fast and I want to get to know I'm better so we could establish a true friendship and trust aside of having sex.

You, on the other hand.....not so consistent.
Pay attention to the words that are bolded.

You defined a Friends with Benefits.

What are you really looking for?

Posted by Dyymz
I gave in because I felt we are both adults and both had a strong sexual attraction and could handle sex without either one of our images getting tarnished.

Adults clarify what they're looking for.
Children play games.


Some (not all) Tauruses don't do abstract.


Leave that 'mind exercise' for the other zodiac signs. According to him, there was already a mutual understanding.


Not trying to be harsh or judgmental, just telling you some real shit.

Thank you all for your genuine responses.
@'soultalk: indeed I do still have interest in him but I don't think I know how to act like nothing happened when my emotional a $ $ is hurt. The FIRST AND ONLY time I go there with a man while not being in a relationship and I get all tangled up smh. I wish I has George Jetsons replay old.

@aftershine: your right. That was the first time I stepped out on the ledge like that. I've always looked down on sex so fast and look at me now. What makes matters worse is the day was leaving for home were extremely hot and heavy, he pulled me in too of him, and penetrated. He held me around my waist. I kept mumbling we were playing with fire and that he wasn't protected, but the more I whispered it the more he thrusted. Next, he told me to get up and off which I did...but he than got on top....again, unprotected. Physically, he felt do good, but mentally I felt so wrong. I knew it was wrong. I'm scared as hell. He pulled out but thinking back to a few night prior to than, there was a point to where the condoms kept drying me out but them I noticed it felt a lot smoothly afterwards. Now I wonder if he pulled the condom off them when we were in the dark.

@ Taurusbull:
That hurt but I needed it. I'll eventually face reality and stop making excuses for his behavior. I just hate to think there is no hope or no referral for this unfortunate situation. Everything I did with him was averts for me ( can't express that enough), but I know he probably thinks I'm no more good than a lost cause who is a easy lay. The sexy was good so hell....maybe I'll leave it at what it is, continue being a fwb, and lose my feelings slowly but surely.

This feels so wrong.

Posted by Dyymz

@ Taurusbull:
That hurt but I needed it. I'll eventually face reality and stop making excuses for his behavior. I just hate to think there is no hope or no referral for this unfortunate situation. Everything I did with him was averts for me ( can't express that enough), but I know he probably thinks I'm no more good than a lost cause who is a easy lay. The sexy was good so hell....maybe I'll leave it at what it is, continue being a fwb, and lose my feelings slowly but surely.

This feels so wrong.

You're adding fire to a pre-existing problem.

It's that impulsiveness/indecisiveness that got you in this current dilemma.

The male Tauruses on this board will comment soon enough.

My advice, wait for their feedback before you make any decisions.



*But be clear about what your intentions are for this relationship with you and this Bull.*

Just in case you're wondering....



"maybe I'll leave it at what it is, continue being a fwb, and lose my feelings slowly but surely."

This screams indecisiveness/impulsiveness. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

dont b silly these youngstrs need 2 grow up

Dyymz: Im not loose or fast and I really want to tell this man that I moved in that direction too fast and I want to get to know I'm better so we could establish a true friendship and trust aside of having sex.

>>>>LOL, I'm probably not the best bull to be commenting on the Aries female/Taurus male thread, but....

So often I see women talking about what they wish they could say, what they want to say so bad....They express here on the board to strangers but not to the person that matters most to them at the time. Scorps do this a lot. As a Taurus, the raw vulnerable truth is what impacts me the most. When I see a woman vulnerable, open, painfully so, it activates my protective/caring side. In fact, almost EVERYTHING you wrote here about how you think he feels about you, about how you regret it, but couldn't resist it, etc., I would be moved by that...even if I did think you gave it up too fast. Not in a text though, in person - face to face. Just my thoughts....

Long term though, Aries and a Taurus? I dunno....Like Leo/Taurus, most of the compatibility seems to be sexual. Get used to staying in a lot, lol. Aries females I have hung out with have been constantly on the go, and I did not have the energy to even maintain a friendship with them, let alone a relationship. They were clearly not homebodies and my lounging way would eventually bore the hell out of them. I've seen this happen with other Aries/Taurus.

Posted by Dyymz
messaged him and he said "hey sister." I looked sideways at the screen because he'd never addressed me as that. All I could reply was "Sister?!" he downplayed it like "yeah sister, homegirl, baby girl, all that>" I was totally thrown off. I made the mistake of sending him a long facebook email expressing how wonderful he was that weekend along with everything I liked about him. I told him that I was interested in him. I broke and told him how he dominated me and how his kiss tore thru my soul. He told me he didn't dominate me, he just took what was given to him lol (yes he typed lol). I was crushed.

This is all wrong IMO. You are making too many assumptions and projecting. This guy could be crazy about you for all you know; you just have no idea at this point. Its too early.

We generally take things so slow compared to an Aries emotionally; so I think you are just expecting a certain type of communication from him way too soon. The whole sex issue could be totally beside the point here. You don't know that he's judging you at all, even if some bulls or men do for that same reason. If you fed his ego with compliments about how great the sex was, that could be the reason for his responding less. We will get lazy with communication if we can, if we think we have other areas locked down. I've made the mistake many times (and continue to) of being lazy in a relationship bc I thought I had the sex locked down. On the "sister" thing, I used to call my *WIFE* "kid", "dawg", even "dude"....lol. Those can be term of endearment for a Taurus - its just how some of us are. Its our way of acting cool and aloof. We can tease with our pet names for people. You REALLY blew his head up with the soul-tearing kiss and the domination thing though. He probably feels he came, he saw, he conquered and he can just coast now. He's done his work to get you hooked.

Posted by soultalk
don't torture yourself for his selfish ways. act like it doesn't matter what happened to you either and get even. I know your actions are more emotional than needy but they will only feed his ego. let go. wait for him to come back, that is if you even want him still.

Wow - soultalk said something I kinda agree with. Just subtract the bitterness part though - e.g., feeling his ways are "selfish" (his hospitality in bed and the kitchen don't sound selfish to me), and the "get even" part too (Virgo spite? lol). Think of it more as searching for a balance in the relationship. You're filled with all these bursting flames of passion (that are probably gonna die out when you see how our natures really mix, lol), and Taurus burns slow. So its very easy for fire signs to be at a seeming disadvantage in a relationship with us. We're plodding along emotionally at our normal pace, and you are falling fast and hard. From a temporal perspective, it seems one likes the other more, but it might seem that way even if the Taurus was loving to his full capacity. IMO, Taurus love can't be quantified by some huge spike in passion - or maybe even by any measurement of its intensity anywhere along the timeline of the relationship. Once you are legitimately in a relationship with us, its something seen more when you look at the big picture over time - the steadfastness, the security, the endurance and loyalty.

Hmmm...this is all interesting.
I am assuming. I broke down and told him I put myself in a FWB and that I am kicking myself in the ass and he told me not to even think like that. I literally fueled my assumption to the point to where I shed tears. I dislike that about me; always assuming before gaining facts. I will admit my emotions more so often run me. He called me and we talked on the phone like nothing happened really. Wasn't the normal hours long convos but it was good talking to him. I don't want to be a FWB. that was my quick mouth talking. I like the guy and I guess this is my first lesson in slowing the heck down. Im glad Im a home body and would rather be in doors than out, and I'm glad I'm introverted. Not sure if that has to do with my moon being in Virgo, but I do not like being out and about.
Im gonna do my best to go with the flow and slow things down and go with the flow. Even though we live in two different states, were only an hour away and I absolutely LOVE flying and will fly out to him in a heartbeat because I want to. How are Taurean men with long distant relationships?

You all have given me so much great information and advice and I am highly appreciative. Im finally calming down with my emotions and getting a grip on myself. Finally...Im slowly but surely going back to my daily routines and enjoying my life (not that I stopped for him but he surely put a little stone in my path), so hopefully things will die down if he isn't interested in anything.
You guys are great!

TLS,

So often I see women talking about what they wish they could say, what they want to say so bad....They express here on the board to strangers but not to the person that matters most to them at the time. Scorps do this a lot. As a Taurus, the raw vulnerable truth is what impacts me the most. When I see a woman vulnerable, open, painfully so, it activates my protective/caring side


I don't know why you kept pointing your finger to Scorpio Women. Our Strong emotional endurance

attachment lead us not to dwell what we cannot have. We see just the BLACK and WHITE. only Scorpio

people knows how to differentiate. Taurus are just too Vague and too much drama and arrogance.

You might not notice that to your fellow...but yes I even have an office mate a Taurus and she was

really possessive to me... which I hate the most about Taureans. and Scorpio loves to do their own

thing...allow us to get this.

Taurus Man Crushed Me...

That's what you get for throwing steaks at them and not sandwiches.

Dyymz,

You should be glad of losing him rather than keeping him. At least you know him early.

It might be painful in your part and I don't have idea how painful but the only thing

you have to bear in your mind that you are a great lady and not his sex toy.

I'd been a lot of Tauruses in my life... the only thing I can say I am not for them and used

to hurt them emotionally as I lashed out what I felt and that's it. I played. yes I did.

Dating can be fun when you know what to do...

My scanner mind activates in a miles away and my radar is not that empty... lol.

Thank you all once again for al of the great advice. I survived one who day without sending one message! For an Aries, thats a HARD job lol. If I keep this up, eventually, I will ease away. My only thought that keeps this man on this mind is sex. I hope a pregnancy dosent come about from those few moments we had sex without a condom.

Sometimes the before mentioned "arrogance" is nothing but "confidence with a touch of 'I don't really care'" all blended together in one. What we perceive as a trait of personality at given moment in time, might not be the reality because we are influenced by personal experience and hence predisposed in seeing what we are already familiar with. No?

Just a thought ....

Good point, Absence.

Posted by Absence
Sometimes the before mentioned "arrogance" is nothing but "confidence with a touch of 'I don't really care'" all blended together in one. What we perceive as a trait of personality at given moment in time, might not be the reality because we are influenced by personal experience and hence predisposed in seeing what we are already familiar with. No?

Just a thought ....

This ^^^

Dyymz-

I hope everything works out for you in the near future. You're bold, but you seem rather genuine. 🙂 I understand that you're an Aries, but next time, try to be a little more careful and less impulsive. Taking a risky chance is an overly-optimistic view of the real world. There are other cards that are not taken into consideration. Keep in mind, there are real people, with different personalities, different agendas, adhering to their own real life experiences.

The Wild card may not always work out in your favor.

I hope I was able to shed some light and understanding in my previous post(s) about dealing with Tauruses.

If you're looking at the bigger picture, you have to create it at the present time.

Slowly and gradually.

We're consistent, and it's truly all or nothing with us.

@TaurusBull1977
Thank you. I took everything you said into consideration. I have to repeat those words to myself to eventually move on. It doesn't help that he still calls me the pet names, or that he told me that I shouldn't think like I was a FWB because we had sex rather quick after meeting for the first time after six years. I keep asking myself why the hell I care so much about the dude. No offense but he is no baller in any way, pockets aren't flowing (I helped him pay a few tiny bills which I will continue to because I'm kind like that), had a few moments where I wanted to put him in the shower because he didn't smell fresh, clothes aren't top notch...but I love how we laugh at stupid stuff, I love his drive, I love his generosity, I love his touch, I love his laugh, I love his heart, I love the idea of gaining his trust and being there, I love the idea of sitting him between my legs to rub his shoulders chest neck or head, I love the thought of happily ever after with my bull, and I genuinely love the idea of encouraging him in any way.

It's funny...he would often tell me I'm a good girl and ask me what planet I'm from when I talked about giving him space. But now I want to be his damn space aside of his personal space lol. I still can't tell if he is stringing me along because he's not coming off as doing so. I still can't tell if he considered me a FWB because he gave me an " I don't know" when I asked him when we'd chill again and immediately threw a different subject in the sentence which made no sense. To Aries, that means " I don't wanna see you." To Taurus, I figured it meant the same or exactly what it read; he doesn't know because maybe he's still seeing where I stand.

I will admit one thing, he is surely slowing me down from my head first pace. I have ex bf's constantly telling me they want another chance while I'm here trying to see if I'm wasting my time with this man or if I'm being tested. I wish I wasn't so non- Taurean lol

Hmm.....

This shouldn't be this complicated.
First: Make the decision in your mind if you truly want to give your ex a chance. Regardless of who is in your life. That is very important.
Second: once you have made that decision and it happens to be to move on because he was an ex for a reason, go to your Taurus man.
Third: make it very clear to him: a) this is how I feel for you. b) this is what I don't want from you (I.e. fwb) c) should we give this a try or should I move on?
Forth: Take his answer literally. Whatever that answer might be!


:-)

Thank you, Absence.
I definitely do not want to deal with any ex as they are an ex for a reason. I definitely have tunnel vision for my bull. I just didn't want to seem like I'm rushing him or pushing him faster than he wants to budge. I think I already told him I was interested in him but he never

really said he was still interested in me or not. I swear I've been trying so hard to do right and follow this rule and that rule on how to treat a bull for this reason and that reason all the way down to trying to hold onto the " hey if he pulls back from you that's a great thing" rule. It's driving me crazy. Me being me, I want to say " hey...my interest in getting closer to you obviously after I spent the weekend with you, and I find myself focusing on the desire to gradually be more to you than I am. Am I wasting my mental time thinking like this? Did satisfying the sexual curiosity tone you all the way down from me or am I your FWB?" I think I need that reality punch to motivate me in the proper direction. I'm tired if looking at the Ram bull relationship aspect so deeply. I just want to know how I could be in his life. I dont want to lose him as I value him as a wonderful human being in my life no matter what type of relationship we have.

Awww. Now you're chasing a bull.

Is there connection? Only bulls knows it and you will feel it.

M143,

Not sure I know what you mean. I'm sorry.

Posted by TaurusBull1977

Posted by Dyymz

I have read that Taurean men tend to ignore or withdraw if they don't want to revel their feelings, or if they feel like things are going too fast. And for the worst, they tend to "side eye" if a woman gives it up to fast. Im not loose or fast and I really want to tell this man that I moved in that direction too fast and I want to get to know I'm better so we could establish a true friendship and trust aside of having sex.

You, on the other hand.....not so consistent.
Pay attention to the words that are bolded.
You defined a Friends with Benefits.
What are you really looking for?

click to expand

Aries women are always a problem.
Lady, you should realize that Taurus is a fixed sign.
Maybe another user should explain this better, because I don't have enough time.

Organize your ideas, because with Taurus you can't be that inconsistent.
Taurus don't understand "maybe", "could be", "sometimes", etc.
It's YES OR NOT. As simple as that.

CharlieSlaughter

I'm sorry my sign is a problem as you put it. I'm learning, and I am grateful for the experience. Thank you for your input.

@Dyymz
I'm glad you are learning. Good Luck!

Posted by M143

You should be glad of losing him rather than keeping him. At least you know him early.

Ok, I know that a Taurus/Scorpio relationship might be very destructive.
But lady, keep your venom in your cute Tail please lol 😉

Dyymz,

talk to TLS. he is good at that.

CharlieSlaughter,

Aww. True. My venom... too huge to be cute. lol.

You have a pleasant time together but there's not enough of a bond or connection to make him want more of you unfortunately. These things happen.

Disappointing for sure but nothing to be ashamed about.

Maybe your right earthonfire. I'm killing my pretty little self when I shouldn't be. I'm just gonna give up as much as I don't want to. There are other bulls out there and now I know what not to do ever again. I'll get over him and he'll consider me another notch on his belt. Eff it. The ride was fun.

Thanks guys!

Dyymz,


Take a step back. Go to the beginning of your thread and start to notice how your attitude fluctuates.
You release a good vibe. Even though it fluctuates, still it is within the positive range. Yet it needs to mature.


Just an observation.

I literally just noticed it. I reek of mental instability in this case. That is not a good look. Thank you for pointing that out to me. Sometimes it takes some to go thru their motions in order to realize they need to seek better ways of acting and reacting. How embarrassing. I do apologize for carrying on in such a manor, everyone.

Posted by CharlieSlaughter

Organize your ideas, because with Taurus you can't be that inconsistent.
Taurus don't understand "maybe", "could be", "sometimes", etc.
It's YES OR NOT. As simple as that.

+1000 (Very spot on)....

A linear pattern of consistency serves us well.
If an individual is uncertain about where the relationship is headed, it would be much wiser to avoid using such labels as FWB, Friends, F-Buddy...

Some Bulls are quite stubborn and dogmatic in their views.

The projected interpretation now becomes the 'fixed' interpretation.

If the other party created an unflattering title during the initial stages of courting, then that's the title that sticks.

When a Bull is accused of being insensitive and unresponsive, his saving grace would be to simply rationalize his actions by reiterating the statements of the other party.

Some Bulls are actually quite baffled that the other party is confused about the setup.

A more evolved Bull who may be a bit well-versed (depending on their Rising Sign, and Mercury placement)...might have kept communication lines open and simply just stated his intentions for not pursuing it.

Avoidance may appear cowardly, (possibly the actions of a Bull who is unevolved)...but nonethless, the actions are still rationalized based on the preconceived perception.

Thank you TaurusBull1977. Very good insight. But that bull, well I'm just going to move along...for sure. I think he literally just insulted me ( even though he doesn't know I know this). I may not be ideal to him but I will not be insulted. I have a huge heart and their is someone out there who is looking for someone like me regardless of his sign. I deserve much more than settling as he deserves exactly what his desires are.