Taurus, This Is The End

I??ve been with my Taurus for almost two years, we met online. After 6 mths we began to live together, the first 3 mths of our dating everything was great until he moved in and I saw accidently he had posts on dating sites online and he was sending emails to someone in another state. After I got over my shock I brought it to his attention and to put it lightly I was pissed. When we first met all I heard was how is ex cheated on him and how he doenst put anything passed anyone. When I comfronted him about the websites (he even had a picture posted) and emails, he all of sudden wanted to commit to a relationship and apologized and said he doesn't know what is wrong with him.

After that, I viewed him and our relationship differently, I began to suspect he was complacent in our relationship. When we??d go out together he??d look at other women, I'm not really insecure or being over analytical but it was very obvious. When I first mentioned it, he told me his ex said the same thing but she was only using it to cover up the dirt she was doing. He slowed down but still checked out other female. Now a year and half later I feel bitter because each and every time we go out together I notice him checking out any woman with a decent face. Now when we talk about it he says he's just checking out his surroundings.

I guess I'm mad at myself for not ending it when I first saw the emails and profiles online, but I assumed he was just insecure and used all of this as a way not to feel so bad if I turned out to be a cheater. My friends that are guys say all men check out women but we definitey don't do it when we??re with our wives or girlfriends. Now when I talk to him he just acts like I'm irriating him and I'm make a big deal out of nothing. To me this is something men do when they??re young and immature. Because of all this and the lack of communication and emotions from myTaurus, I'm just numb and feel like I??ve wasted two years. He's hinting marriage if we??re together another year, I'm thinking of running before the new year begins??_.

Any thoughts??

Hindsight is 20/20 vision; use your intuition, that's what you have it for, and do what YOU feel is right.

Yes I know ladies. I dont know about moon signs but since talking to Bella months ago and doing his chart I guess the whole Sag moon makes sense. I couldnt never figure out how he could be so down to earth affectionate and clingy at home, yet when we go out be the complete opposite it's almost like he's a different person. Deep down I know the relationship ended I saw the dating profiles and emails, but I stayed because first I couldnt believe it, especially after he was so persistent and consistent in pursuing me. It's baffling, he talks about marriage in a year but after arguing about him checking out females the next day we'll go out and he'll do it all over again. I swore he had no knowledge that he is doing it, until he said if I checked out guys it wouldnt bother him, the I knew he knows maybe just not at the moment he's doing it.

Bella as for stepping down thats still not good enough, immaturity comes in at some point.

Hi Alluv72,

I had the same problem with my ex taurus. He had cancer moon and pisces venus. He constantly checked out other girls when we were out. When we were together, he took good care of me. Not to mention our phsycial compatilibity... but being in a public place with him was stressful cos I was alerted all the time and checking if he was checking the other females... all females w decent faces, like you put it hehe.
Im very scorpionic myself that means that I can easily feel attracted to a man (even a stranger), so when Im alone I can be somewhat flirty... crossing looks, deep gazes.... but when Im with my boyfriend, I would never do that! That is for me only a game and Id never cheat on the person Im with... but I have enough of respect for me and for my boyfriend, so I would never put him in a embarassing situation flirting with another man in front of him.
If he does that it means 1) he is still looking 2) he is immature. In the case of my ex taurus.... well, he was still looking. Now he is with someone else and very committed, it seems.
His behaviour made me to value myself more. So I hope that with the next man I wont have the same problem. Maybe one reason why he behaves that ways is that he feels that you dont value yourself... and it s "karma" teaching you. Anyway, it looks like you are better off without him.

gia, this may never apply to you again but just in case, for taurus it's not enough to not flirt in front of us - we don't like our partners to flirt at ALL. Women know that men check out other women, and as a bull I can "accept" that because it's male human nature, but flirting is a whole other level that I can't accept.

Don't take my digression as saying your ex's behavior was a result of your own - I just read your post and thought I'd offer the advice.

xangelfishx,

I know very well what you mean... Ive been all my life too timid and shy and not flirting at all (undervaluing my attractiveness ecc... natal saturn-venus exact opposition). But these few men I ve been involved with after my divorce were all very flirty and looked at other women (pisces, cancer, gemini, taurus as sun sign). As result of the suffering I started to open up more and realized that flirting is not something bad and belongs to the human nature (mating dance...). So now when a man I dont know smiles to me and talks to me I dont shy away and respond and smile back. And between friends or in a small goup I can be quite coquine ... but that s all! So I concluded from my experience that often we attract partners that make up to open up in a painful way. In my case these flirty men helped me to discover my feminine nature (for a cappy woman w 4 planets in scorp and cancer AC it has not been easy!).
Maybe it's alluv s case too... to fight her insecurities and to start to value hersef more w/o necessarily splitting from her taurus.
Btw Im much more possessive and jealous with this scorp stellium than you all tauruses together🙂))

Thanks for responding ladies. I understand men look at women, but this is not just a glance at a woman for 2 seconds, this is a full body from head to toe. As I said he has gotten better, but when does the control into the play? This weekend we went to a xmas party and everything was ok, but there were only 1-2 women there that were half way decent. Maybe I just dont understand how men are wired, but I've never experienced anything like this. I think part of it is immaturity there are a lot of other things he seems to have never experienced that makes me say now I understand.

One other thing that drives me crazy is his lack of communication, I know a Taurus male doesnt communicate. But if I'm mad, he wont ask whats wrong, if I give signs I dont want intimacy he wont ask why just wait me out. His reason is, I told him the first few months of us dating not to badger me about whats wrong, as a Cancer I'll go in my shell and let him know when I'm ready. However that was well over a year and ahalf ago when we first started seeing each other. I'd think if man isnt getting sex from his women, he'd be livid to say the least not him he's little Mr. Patient, I'm not saying he's cheating nor am I playing games. I just dont understand how he's so patient with things that most men lose their minds over.. On the flip side things like his clothes, food and checking out women he puts more effort then most men I know. It's all very baffling to me..

so......you're complaining that he's patient with you like you asked him to be and that he's not badgering you for sex?....................................

I think you need to figure out what is important, i mean relationship maker/breaker stuff and make some choices on what you really want. You are saying one thing then expecting something totally different from him.

I think male bulls seem to be pretty straight forward, mean what they say and say what they mean. I know mine doesn't say one thing but expect something else out of me. So he probably doesn't hink you are doing that either. You seem to really want him to reach out with emotions to you. While my bull and i were dating, i made it a point to make him talk about his emotions/feelings. But i didn't overwhelm him. I did it with alot of caution and very SLOOOWLY. I would ask a little bit then let it go. Eventually he started blabbling and now he talks about so much with me. His gemini traits might be the cause which if it is, then i'm thankful because we would never have worked out if he didn't talk and share with me his thoughts or some of them anyway lol.

I just think it sounds like you guys are on two different pages with communication and expectations.

xangel, I'm put off because even though I said one thing I expected him like most men to be upset. Him being so accepting gives me the impression he isnt really interested in intimacy as he use to be.

Baby, his communication was bad from the start, I knew it would be because he's only had one serious relationship and this is the only woman he told he loved and she thru it in his face. So I knew it would be a long time before he felt comfortable enough to open up. He said repeatedly when a woman knows she has your heart she'll take advantage so I know he tries to guard himself from giving too much. I know two things, 1. that he cares 2. that he's comfortable. I really dont know if he loves me or is in love with me, after two years I think I should know and hear that he does even every once in a while. When I asked why he never tells me he loves me, he started stumbling and could only come up with, when you tell someone all the time it begins to not mean anything. That answer would be acceptable if he told me 2-3 times a year but he's NEVER told me..He then said at times he wants to but he just doesnt say it.

DaBull, so you think the whole checking out other women is due to him being insecure as opposed to immaturity?

I'm not making excuses but I think his dad behaves the same way. We went to dinner with his parents a few months ago, while we waited for our table outside, I noticed his dad checking out some ladies that walked by us. I thought to myself maybe this is a learned behavior because I swear when I first mentioned it to him and how I??ve never been with a man that does this, he said maybe they hide it. I thought yes I think if they??re going to do it they should be hiding it, why don't you know this? The dumb thing is he??ll blatantly check out other women in my presence but the minute I detour from my normal behavior like don't answer his calls or tell him at the last minute I have the day off, I feel him analyzing the situation. It's very draining, because I know what he's going to think (but of course never admit to) before I do it. Because his actions have made me bitter, I??ll do things just to irritate him, like telling him on Thursday not to come over Friday night because I'm going out with my friend for dinner. Or ignore his calls for more than an hour, then he??ll keep calling and calling and be irritated by the time I answer.

I know all men are visual but he's also very shallow, one time I showed him a picture of my co-worker and mentioned she had a boyfriend and his comment was —how did she get a boyfriend she's fat?? I was livid, as someone who??s chubby herself and coming from someone that was chubby the majority of his life and just lost weight, I thought he has no right to make such comments. Yes I think it's time to finally throw in the towel??_.

Wow Bella..lol Can I say I want to smack the crap out of him when he says those types of things.

Whats even funnier is, guess who helped him lose weight.. He says he hasn't been the size he is now since right after high school and he's 35.. Unreal.

ah! ah! ah!! you just solved the mystery alluv!!! he was always chubby and just lost weight.....he is shallow because he has always felt bad about HIS looks and now that he's lost weight he has even more reason to be shallow!!!! this is immaturity plus low self esteem. When he was chubby he weanted to identify with and be accepted by "the beautiful people" and now that he's lost weight he despises the old him that he sees in other people that he considers physically unnattractive. We have learned two things here: 1 that he is shallow because he wants to distance himself from something he always hated being and 2 he cares deeply for you because he is very shallow but doesn't see those things he despises in others in YOU. You say you are chubby, but if he has these feelings about body image then clearly he is not judging YOU the way he is judging others.
This doesn't make his behavior okay - but at least now we've found the root of his problem......

As for you missy.....you can't tell him one thing and then expect something else from him - with a bull you get what you ask for.

Xangel, you are 100% correct.I never understood how he could be so negative and blunt about overweight women when he was overweight as well. He told me once that if I wasn't chubby I probably wouldn't date him as if he felt I lowered my standards in dating him.

As for him being shallow, he was even like this when he was chubby. I didn't realize until a year ago he had been overweight for awhile until his stepmom told me he stretched the truth by saying he gained weight right before he meant me.

His roomate changes women like the months and deep down I think my Taurus wants the same but doesn't have the stomach for the issues that arises from dealing with multiple women. His roommate from what I gather wants stability but is too insecure to risk getting hurt. So each one feeds off the other.Deep down I don't think he's a cheater he just wishes he had the appeal and confidence that attracts a lot of women. Either way it doesn't make me feel good about our relationship....

Xangel, you are 100% correct.I never understood how he could be so negative and blunt about overweight women when he was overweight as well. He told me once that if I wasn't chubby I probably wouldn't date him as if he felt I lowered my standards in dating him.

As for him being shallow, he was even like this when he was chubby. I didn't realize until a year ago he had been overweight for awhile until his stepmom told me he stretched the truth by saying he gained weight right before he meant me.

His roomate changes women like the months and deep down I think my Taurus wants the same but doesn't have the stomach for the issues that arises from dealing with multiple women. His roommate from what I gather wants stability but is too insecure to risk getting hurt. So each one feeds off the other.Deep down I don't think he's a cheater he just wishes he had the appeal and confidence that attracts a lot of women. Either way it doesn't make me feel good about our relationship....

this is the end? i just had to point out that is what ivy from soul calibur will say to her opponent sometimes when performing a throw.