TM how are you?

TM are you regestered alredy?
Haven't seen you for a while, it is a little bit lonely without your presence...really, no jokes.

Aqua 2

Hi Aqua2:

Things have gotten rough, and I have not been able to spend much time here. Hope all of y'all are doing fine.

TM

Hi ya TM!

I am doing fine, just a little bit lonely without you around so much anymore! Hope everything gets better for you soon. It will so just hold on!

Take Care of yourself

I will sweetie, and thanks for your thoughts.

TM

TM hello,,,,,oh i really missed you.!!!!
How is it,,?
Everything is gonna be alright, 100% guranted.
Oh i was so happy to see your post!
Have a great one tommorow, and good luck..keep your cool.
It wasn't as usuall here without you, so hopefully will see
more of you soon?

Well Y'all,
If you want to hear from me, then just ask what I think of your comments and things you seek from a Taurus Male. I may be going through some horse manure at the present time, but it does not mean that I am dead or something. I am indeed glad you missed me, and I have missed you, too. I do intend on keeping cool (even though it is very trying at times), even when I find myself in kindof an oven of clerks collecting bills, and their price can get pretty high if I can't. So, at the moment, I am like that little choo choo that is straining to say "I can, I can" going up that steep hill...that sort of thing.(and at 52, it is not as easy when I was a younger man) It is like going through a transition from my own controlled world out into a world intent on controlling me.

So, do forgive me ladies if I have not seemed interested or involved about discussing the "nicities" of life, and you on this board are part of them. One thing good about rough times that it sure does point out who your true friends are. Not to mention getting to know yourself better.

Love you all

Taurus Male

Hey TM,

How's it hangin? Sounds alittle low; get it up!!!
Well, I know life sucks sometimes but it really about how you perceive it. Stressing out about it never does much good. Life is a challenge!!! I reckon we are suppose to be challenged. If we are not, we become complacent and arrogant and weak. This way we stay on our toes and become strong, like BULL! Like you said, rough times brings out who you are and who your real friends are too.

I hope with all your struggling, you should allow yourself a little fun too. ok, so grab a beer and have one for me; go blow up your inflatable date and have some fun!!

You bet, I'll get my inflatable date and go dancing.
Love those comments.

TM

Can I come with ya, TM?

Dear TM,

First of all, I am sorry that you are feeling out of sorts. It does happen to us all as this is a part of being human...to feel it all. The neat thing is coming through it, getting to the otherside and then feeling so good. As my Taurus grandmother would always say, "this too shall pass" and it will. You are learning something from your experience and that is a wonderful thing....means you are getting smarter by the day! Think of the good advice that you will continue to share from your life experiences to help us 🙂

Okay, you said on your October 5th post that if we wanted to hear from you, that we should ask about some things that we seek from a Taurus male....are ya up to it—? Here goes.............

I have a Taurus male friend. I do like him...he is "quirky" I never know what he is going to do. However, there are some things about him that I do not understand..not sure if they are "taurus traits" or his traits. He will ask me if I want to go out with him and I reply with a yes....I don't hear from him. He will call me and tell me that I am the greatest...Hmmm...ya know how someone just says that, throws it out there? I think that is what he is doing. (I know, trust my instincts) I am just wondering...He can be my friend or not...I am okay with either. Maybe he is going through a lot of stuff. When we talk to each other we have a great time and I love the honesty between us. Are Taurus men "players" by nature? He says he is not. I do believe him. Do they move slow? I have heard from others that he does like me. If you care to shed some light on this for me I would be greatly appreciated by your kindness.

Thank YOU Mr. "smiley" TM

The Freebird

I am not a Taurus male, but I have a feeling he has another he is more interested in, and you are there for backup. This is the impressions I get! Sorry, I don't mean to hurt you but sometimes thing come across so clearly!

Thanks Suzy....I believe you are correct in your assesment of the "taurus situation". I so do believe that when a person cares for a person they are there....we feel it. If they scatter away...hmmmm, gives me something to wonder about. He says he is doing a lot with his boys (he is divorced). I had told him earlier that it is so important for a dad to be involved with his kids as once the time is gone, we never get it back. He says he is enjoying his boys.

Ah, I am so at the point that life is gonna take me where it shall and have me experience what I need to feel. This doesn't feel right. Thanks for your insight, Suzy-Q....
it helps bunches!

Freebird

Freebird,

I didnt know about the kids, but he shouldnt ask you out and then never reply! That is not very thoughtful!! Maybe give it some more time though— Its all up to how he makes you feel. If he is leaving you with doubt and he is then I would either tell him how you feel or shine the whole thing on and find someone that you deserve!!!

All I can say is if you are the one for him, he will or should tell you so. I know that if you just ask, you should get an answer that will clear the air. I only speak if he is true to the Taurus creed sort of speak. We are not players as much as wanting to be appreciated by women, because we sure appreciate them.
Hope that helps.

TM

Thanks TM for your reply and yes, it does help. I think everyone needs to be appreciated and felt loved by someone. The problem is knowing how to do these things unconditionally and from the heart.

With my appreciation,
Freebird

Hun,

It's that unconditionally part that throws the ole monkey wrench into the works. People always seem to have conditions to their love. Some, I suppose, are important when you choose who you love, but when the choice is clear enough, then just love them...

Now, correct me if I am wrong, but expectations of the one you choose to love can be classified as conditions, are they not? And when they do not meet your expectations, what has become of the unconditional love? As strange as it may seem, the ones I have chosen to love, may have returned it, (for the most part...no one bats 1,000) but those conditions always seem to surface. Unconditional love only has a chance when both partners express it, because if it is a one way job, the unconditional one gets hurt. It is like those poor souls who get abused, yet still love.

My favorite condition is when the partner says "If you really love me you will _________________". Act like I want you to act, or the deal is off.....
Sooooo, unconditional is the highest, but the toughest.

Mornin TM!!!

Great post!

I had a similar conversation with my dad yesterday, and we came to the conclusion that
its too damn bad we only live to be about 75 on average, because we really dont start to get any sense until were about that age and then it is over! It would be nice to be able to apply it once in awhile (common sense) before hand instead of after the fact!!!lol As long as we learn something from our mistakes that is the point!

Have a blessed day!

Be safe out or in there!
(((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
Suzy-Q

Have a great

Yes, TM....quite a few people do have conditions to their love and isn't that sad? "IF ONLY" we could just accept people for who they are and if we have a problem doing that then we must move on. Why is it so hard to just accept? You know something? I think that when we cannot accept someone for who they are we are reflecting ourselves in what it is we see in others. The mirror effect.

I had a guy yesterday say to me..."you owe me dinner since I helped you the other day." My first "feeling" was not one of love. Love does not owe...love is free and unconditional. Well, you know what I said to him? "why can you not do something from the kindness of your heart without expecting anything in return?" He said, "because I want to go out with you." I said, "sorry, that is NOT the way to get me to go out with you....bribery never works with me." Closed the page on that book.

I'm just walking through the pages of my life and discovering the human nature. Some stuff flows with me and some doesn't....I keep walking and I always seem to find surprises around every bend.

I will end with your statement, "unconditional love is a two way job." Yes it is!!!!! You are a very wise man. 🙂

My thanks, and hugs back to you ladies.

TM

TM
was so happy to see you back to discussions,,lol
Feels more comfortable with guidance of such an expirienced
man....he-he
Here is mine:
Despite all that rough rides at taurus county, i tried to stick and fasten my seatbelt, otherwords i'm trying to be nice, caring(few times i start nagging about less time with me) but something tells me he got enough on his plate,don't want to make it worse. So here is my questions, as i used to ask you before, just want to know your point on that.
1) Without him, was out with my gf, it was just girlparty, i mentioned to him later all the details and one of them was about few guys hitting on us at the nightclub, calling us "hottest girls" at that night club,but we escaped from them and i said that too, his reaction was telling me about his outing with boys to a nightclubs and about girl picking,,,,question is that was said to make me jelous or sharing,,,,What u think, what will u do when you was young if you heard smth like that from your gf?
2)If you felt that somebody loves you unconditionally and at that moment there would be nobody u felt serious about, just few fans,will you start anything with that person who loved you? Why? Will you try to get hold on that person even if you've been falling for somebody?How long does it take to get attached to somebody, even if there is no real feelings,,,and how hard does to let them go?
Love ya, thanks for you answers...
Stay cool, despite your age(according your words about world controlling you) i think you got one advantage over age- expirience,,,!!!!! I think you'll show them all what kind of cookie you are and defenetly get through this all without any harm....
kisses and hugs to a classy taurus.....lol
****
When life gets tough
know after the black
is always white stripe coming.
Hang in there, stay optimistic.
Don't let somebody elses whimps
affect your dreaming,
and keep that charming smile on.......

AQA2,

Seems like he wants to make a point of the girl and boy watching bit...I think he would be jealous of that, more than likely. It takes alot for us to learn to not be worried about our lady looking and flirting with other men, if we are sure that the lady loves us
Doubt does creep in when we know they are looking anyway.....as long as you assure him he is your true love, that might put his mind at ease. (Just depends on how posessive he is to you)

If someone loves you unconditionally, that is great, but that does not mean you would feel the same.....only you can answer that for yourself. Sometimes you might hurt someone who has fallen for you and you not them, but that is life.

Sometimes hurt just leads to better things.

Thanks for your thoghts.

TM

Hi AQ& TM,

I'm glad, TM, you answered that question; I have been waiting for the answer, too!

And I agree that we should always be aware of the impact we have on our peoples feelings! I think we should never let things go unsaid. Talk about how it makes you feel and be honest. In a love relationships you cant let alot of things go unsaid, and that is one area that always need to be paid attention to! Even if there is nothing to worry about, never give even the apperance of something that may hurt each other.

Good Luck and I am glad you are still working it out with one another! Gives me some hope if I should ever find true love again?!

WB

There is hope for true love!

I do believe in it!

and that is what keeps me alive and 🙂

Hugs and smoochies

Suzy-Q!

When I have more time I'm also going to need some serious advice from TM1 (if you would kindly oblige, sir...lol). I'm going through so much CRAP right now with "my" Taurus...boy I hope we never get stuck in an elevator or any sort of locked room together right now, cuz there would be some serious bloodshed. lol. Well unfortunately no time now...will have to post about it later.

Ya See Ma lovelies,

Unconditional love can be the ultimate test. Don't recollect ever hearing about beating the crap out of someone to be a part of that senario. Sounds like some conditions have definitely set in.....I kindof like that..
I am going to beat the crap out of you because you make me love you....Ahhhh, love works in mysterious ways sometimes, doesn't it? (So does God). Either you are clearing the air, or are fixing to make headlines like that dude who got his tally wacker cut off, by his lady! (his name slips my memory at the moment, just tired I guess).

Look at Lucy and Desi....Cleopatra and Mark Anthony (and Ceasar).. Bonnie and Clyde....Popeye and Olive (and Bluto)
Hitler and Eva...I guess some folks just have a hard time just loving each other without complicating things....maybe that is just too boring for some..I never really understood the theory of the fine line between Love and Hate.....when I thought they were on opposite sides of the spectrum. And How can you love someone for one thing and hate them for another? lOVE STILL HAS AN INFINITE LIST OF DEFINITIONS FOR PEOPLE...we cannot hide from realities. They always seem to show themselves. And, if you are in love and you don't feel good, Then I just think you must be in something else. Not reality.

Sooo...what about those "two cents"?


TM

"lOVE STILL HAS AN INFINITE LIST OF DEFINITIONS FOR PEOPLE"

I would say that is absolutely true!!!

Love to me at present is a mystery. I am not sure why it is, but I cannot deny how I feel inside. I am happy all the time and excited about life, kind of strange huh? But the love of God is a mystery and why do I question any other sources. It's all good.

Hugs, kisses, and lots of 🙂
WB

The guy who got his willy whacked was John Bobbitt and his wife was Lorena. I watched the whole trial.

What is with the list of weird couples? One of them is a cartoon! LOL!
Were they suppose to be examples of true love— I dont follow you, TM!!!

WB

WB,

Those couples (even the cartoon) had some strange ways that Love was shown, and given. Since you mentioned the cartoon, Olive would always expect Popeye to rescue her, even though in many cases, she was flirting and got in trouble when Bluto got serious. Lucy and Desi were constantly argueing, but simple love was hardly seen...
Cleopatra caused the death of Mark Anthony's career with Ceasar and life..and God only knows what kindof love could come from a man like Hitler, but Eva did die with him. I was just making a point of Love in the center of turmoil.....Sorry it confused....Each Person in the couple tried to change the other in some way. Or one conformed to the other's needs. The point, I guess is that they were not unconditional in nature. Just accepting and loving the other. It was a strange way to make a point, I guess.
TM

Actually TM, your post made sense to me immediately...I picked up on the point you were trying to make right away, and an excellent point it is. To be perfectly honest with you I kept thinking about it the last 2 days, the concept of unconditional love...I almost paraphrased you in a fight I was having with my (not really "mine", but that's the best way I can describe him) Taurus! But I was too upset and forgot what you said...

Gosh, sometimes I can see why people go insane and want to end their life...don't worry I would NEVER do that, but I'm going through one of those awful times where you feel like just going away. He is punishing me and being mean on purpose...trying to "teach me a lesson" he says. I told him we could only be friends and that I can't marry him, and that that's just the way it has to be regardless of my love for him or his love for me (outside circumstances and plus I'm not sure he's the best person for me). I tried to do this in the most sensitive way possible...he is furious and seems quicker to be my enemy now than anything else, yet I do what he tells me to do still, I call him when he tells me to call him, I email him when he tells me to...and then when I do he always reduces me to tears. This has been going on for about 2 weeks now. I have never dealt with anyone like him, it's like he's mixing torture and love and chooses when to give me either based on what mood he's in...he can be so incredibly mean. But for some reason, I still love him. I never thought I would be the nutcase person who say's (in a whiny voice) "but I love him". Ugh. I'm getting these crashing headaches from all the stress of carrying out these secret late night conversations/torture sessions with him. I don't have any idea what to do anymore. He says that he's not being mean on purpose (liar) but that he's doing all these things and saying all these things so that I can see what I am losing out on (by telling him we could only be friends). I have never been through anything like this in my life, I don't know how to handle it. He keeps saying, "why are you upset? You deserve it". I guess in a way I do because my decision hurt him, but I didn't try to hurt him, in fact I went out of my way to be super sensitive about it...and plus, he demanded a firm decision, either leave your boyfriend or be with me, which is it? and so I made the decision to stay with my boyfriend...for lots of reason which I've explained to him. He says it's all b*llb*tter...all my reasons are b*llb*tter. Sigh.

Help me Taurus male?

that should say BULL $ H I T. lol. (wow, good filters dxp)

Phoenix rising,

I think you should invest in some professional counseling!
You need to have your head tweeked!!!
I have been listening to you for a long time now, and it is always the same thing! You set this whole senario up and drove yourself and others
nuts and now you want to talk about how you are brainwashed and a step from killing yourself— You have some serious problems and a good psychotherapist could help you out. Just try not to fall in love with the Doctor too! I am serious. You really are messed. People do have problems but there is no reason for you to be experience all this headache, heartache etc...it is self inflicted pain and n need to feel sorry for yourself. You need to start finding out why you are doing what you do?? Dont wait either. It is nothing to be ashamed about. I have been to see a psychothreapist before when I was under so much stress.I couldnt work it out,and I needed help. Just a few sessions and some very helpful insight made all the difference. He went through 20+ years of school for his degree and he knew what he was doing!!! I say this because you can get the wrong advice or help and things wont get any better and ight just get worse!

Please do yourself a favor and invest time,healing yourself and learning who you are and things will get better.

GoodLuck

PS You keep doing what you do and maybe hook up with the wrong guy and get seriosly injured! Think about what you are doing!!!

Pheonix,

Stess can cause hurried decisions that can work against you.
Do not let anyone bully you into thinking that you must do something that you feel in your heart is wrong. We all have to deal with uncertainties that scare us at times.
People can be cruel usually because they want something from you. You have proven yourself to be strong before, so seek that stregnth now. Do not base your decicions on what others want....base it on your needs, now. When you are settled, then you can provide for others. Above all, don't give up hope, as all things cycle for a reason sometimes unseen to us. Just stop, take time to gather, and act when you are ready...

TM

TM,

Thank you...I will definitely stop worrying so much about what his needs are and do what I feel is right. You are right about the stress thing...I don't make good decisions when I feel rushed to make them. I will not lose hope, I was just in a really depressed mood last night when I wrote that. Thanks again for your post.

Wonderbox,

I don't know if you were trying to insult me by saying I'm "messed up in the head" but that wasn't very nice, nor accurate in my opinion. I am glad that psychotherapy worked for you, but I don't feel that I need it. I never said I was brainwashed OR a step from killing myself either. And you're right, counseling is nothing to be ashamed about, it's just that I don't feel that this problem requires it. I really don't know whether your post is intended to help me or slam me.

Wonderbox, I don't mean to seem ungrateful for your help because I am grateful, it just seemed a little harsh to me is all.

Phoenix,

Yes it was harsh and sometimes it needs to be! It was harsh because I see there are these women who give all their love to men that dont deserve it! There are plenty of healthy sane men in the world. Why mess with someone who treats you like that?? You are and angel with a damaged wing and you need to heal so you can fly again! Dont let someone keep you down! You could be out enjoying yourself instead of being beat down! The longer you allow it to go on the harder it is to break free. And you will start to think badly of yourself. If he hurts your spirit one moment and then turns around and tells you they love you, then you start to believe that you have a problem!!! It is BRAINWASHING!

I started a job for the solicitors office, and I work in pre-trial division where we intervene on behave of non-violent first offenders. I learned today that most of these cases are dometic violence of an extreme and aggrevated nature, some to the point of death! They were reduced at the judges discression, but I am sick of this crap. They beat their gilfriends and wives so badly they end up in the hopsital and they get to have the charges expunged completely off their record like it never happened!

What do I see, I see the g/f and the wives coming to make the arragnements for these jerks; they make the phone calls on their behalf and they sit out in the lobby and wait on them while they have their little consultations. It makes me want to cry! They have nothing and they look like hell and they spend money they dont have to help these bumbs out! It makes me want to cry and I do! I think I will get a harden heart soon. This is what they tell me where I work. They say "you cant feel sorry for everyone that comest through here; it will eat you up inside." I Just wish you could see what I see. It is really sad! I asked them(women) if they want counseling and they say "no, I dont think I need it"— Just think about what I said, and I dont think you are gone, but I hear things that make me wonder! If I didnt think so, I would have said nothing. Counseling can awaken things inside us that we had NO idea were buried there. It really can help! It is doing something healthy for yourself. We exercise and eat well to make our bodies healthy; we should do the same thing when it comes to keeping our minds healthy!!! What are we with out our mind, CRAZY! And I have seen some crazy s h i t!

God chose only one Phoenix and he wants you to be the best you can be!!! Get heyy and dont take any crap off anyone! If you love this guy, then do right by him. I think you are asking for what you get by doing what you are to this man. What did you expect him to do— You are putting yourself in harms way. Would you mind if he was seeing other women and telling you all about it and that you were second in line— Come on get with the program! I know you are smarter than that!

That should read almost to the point of death!

Wonderbox I now can see that you are coming from a place of wanting to help and you're not just trying to be mean. That must be very disturbing to see what you see in your line of work all the time, I can understand why you are saying what you're saying to me. About the whole "Would you mind if he was seeing other women and telling you all about it and that you were second in line—" thing, he does that...he has always done that, it's like this trick he pulls out of his hat to make a point when he's pissed off, half the time I know he's either exaggerating or making it up. I also know that our entire relationship is very disfunctional at this point, I know I need to get away from him if he continues this behavior, I just wonder if there's a chance he might stop if I leave my bf for him. There's just so many questions I have as to whether he would change for the better if we were "officially" together. I don't mean to string him along (and I'm not anymore because I was clear we could only be friends), but at the same time I'm not willing to leave a 3 year relationship, a stable one I might add, based on "hopes". Hoping he'll get better, hoping he'll stop lying about stuff, hoping he'll be nice to me if I do what he wants. That ground is too shaky to build the foundation of a lifetime on. So in the meantime I stay with my bf, out of fear that if I leave him and go with the Taurus that it might be a bad mistake. I'm not worried about him hitting me or anything of that sort, I'm just worried that I will be giving up a lot only to end up with a bad experience emotionally. I guess my main problem is that I don't know if it's real love when the person lies to you, hides things from you...etc. Is it possible to have true love with someone who does those things? I feel like I really love him, but should love be more of an intense, passionate, dramatic thing or should it be what I already have which is secure, stable, and not dramatic?

Phoenix,

Its me, your sister!

Listen to me, you arent going to know until you try. If it fails, you will have your answers once and for all, the absolute truth. But, Phoenix, there are NO gurantees for anything in life.

I would say you dont have much of a chance with either relationship. You have heard of the saying "I picked the best out of the two worst" kind of like haveing to vote. You dont like either candidate but someone has to do the job! So you go for what there is!

You dont need anyone to do the job you can wait until you find the right man or until it all makes sense? and when it does, the choice will be so clear you will feel it in the deepest part of your being!!! It wont be perfect all the time, but the memories of the good will get you past the little trying times!!!

Phoenix, you will have to be still and listen to your heart and not try and rationlize. Be brutally honest with yourself. Do you love this person— What are you willing to do for love— What does love mean to you? How do you give love in return?? Etc...dont try and make sense of it too much. You are missing out on the beauty of love. Just do what makes you feel wonderful inside and alive, because you wont get too many chances.. When I try and think of my life and what I have, I think of it in terms of the quality of memories. My life has some beautiful ones!!! However, I cant remember any one or any significant moments of love that I can hold on to! Isnt that sad! I hate it!!! This is something I was trying to do in my mind just the other night. I mean, I have had love but the kind you remember, No. Was the a specific memory that made me stop and smile, No!

Live life and learn and dont be afraid of life. Be careful of course and use good sound judgement. You have known both of these guys for sometime now, think about all that has gone on with both and then make your decision.

The Leo, you dont love you feel comfortable with. Geez, you are only 20 years old. Life should be crazy not comfortable. You can do that when you are older!

Ok, I am tired and my back is killing me and my hands are freezing and so are my feet(whining) and I need to sit in the warm tub and then go to bed! My dogs need some attention and the house does too, so I'll talk to you tomorrow or whenever and please take care of yourself!

Love,
Sis

Suzy-Q (aka my sis) : ) ...

Thank you so much for your post...I'm noticing something...I do indeed seem to "rationalize" love more than most people. What the h e l l is that??! lol. Most people just go with the feeling and act on it, yet I sit and ponder the pros and cons endlessly...taking the magic out of it. It's stupid! Why do I do that??! Is it not real love if I do that, or am I just a freakin' weirdo? See now I'm doing it again. My mother tells me that I overanalyze everything. I hate to admit when she's right, but I actually think she is. Some of the best memories I have in life are the times when I (believe it or not) actually acted on impulse...though sometimes I've done bad things by that method also. I don't know.

By the way Suzy, I know that you will make your happy memories of love...the ones that will bring a smile to your face in moments of reflection. You will. Each of us humans has our own time-table for that stuff.

Now tell me how irrational this is: over the course of the last week, I have found out that my ex-boyfriend Nathan got married this January, my sorta ex-boyfriend Mark was engaged (but it was broken off soon after), and my very long-term ex boyfriend and now good friend Jed has proposed to his girlfriend. I know I should be happy for these people, but why do I feel like such a loser right now??! I had always heard that when you're single and your peers start getting hitched, that it happens fast and all of a sudden it will seem like everyone is getting married but you. Well now I understand what people mean by that. I had a minor freak-out today and balled my head off for like a half an hour (by myself of course), because I always thought I would get married fairly young...but I look around me and I see people I used to date getting married or engaged or whatever and I'm jealous. How ridiculous! I just wonder what is so wrong with me that my boyfriend doesn't want to get married or even talk about marriage yet. Not that I pressure him to...it's just that I feel like, okay, let's **** or get off the pot, you know? I need forward motion in my life. I want to get married, but I want to make sure it's with the right person. That's what's keeping me from the taurus. I would say yes in a heartbeat if I thought he was capable of changing, maturing a little bit. Ah I'm just rambling. Sorry it's all coming out unfiltered. lol.

Thanks again sis ; )

The "irrational" thing was supposed to be in reference to my reaction to my friends'/exs' engagements and weddings...just to clear that up.

Dear Phoenix,

Whew, you are really going through something and you know what? This is great! Hmmm...I suppose you think I am some crazy nut because of this statement. Let me explain...you have so many ways to view your experiences. This is a good thing. For one, it means you are ALIVE and living. Your other option would be that you are 6 ft. under and do not have these experiences to grow from and grow you will.

There are always reasons why we are in situations, we choose these situations because we have something to learn from them. These are not bad situations at all unless you perceive them to be. There are gifts hidden in them that will be revealed in the right time for you to understand. I have been where you are and I have felt as you do now. I look back and think, " why did I waste my energy on that? it is small compared to the whole of life, my purpose." Within both of these relationships YOU are learning about YOU. What you like and don't like. You are also learning to find strength to move through them, to take risks, to follow YOUR heart, to LET GO when something does not "feel" right and have FAITH that all will be fine.

Today, I had a friend tell me that he looks back on his life and wishes that he had not married when he did. He wishes that he had waited for the right one and that the wait would have been worth it. He got married in his late 20's as most do because society says that we should do this, it is the right time...everyone else is doing it and if I don't, I must be a misfit. WRONG....I can tell you, that in a few years a lot of your friends will have wished that they waited. Because of age and experience we don't know what is ahead, only those that have gone before us can share that wisdom. Know that for YOUR good (do NOT compare yourself to your friends and their situations) you are on the right path for you.

I too am single. I was married for awhile and I look back and wish that I would have waited but it was the thing to do. I cannot change my past, only learn from it. I have a lot of friends who are divorced as they married young as well. Many of those friends have gotten themselves back into a relationship as this is how they feel accepted by society and others. I have chosen to take my time, to find me, to explore, to be alone and be comfortable with me. Yep, at first it was scary but I am so glad that I have done this as it gives us a personal strength 🎁 that we can only give to ourselves.

Phoenix (Heather), you will be fine as you have that inner strength and you will find it. Let life take you there by the path of your heart. It will be the most wonderful experience that you will have (well, one of the most wonderful experiences).

From reading your posts, I would have to say that neither one of those men are in your life to bring you joy. Are they? Love is not about work, it is not hard, it just flows and it brings with it much passion, comfort and happiness. You will someday feel this. My best wishes are with you along with my thoughts of love for all of your decisions.

Freebird

Freebird...wow that was a beautiful post! Thank you...it really made me look at everything through a wider lens, if that makes sense. Before I was so consumed with doubt and worry and nervousness and confusion and anger about the turn everything had taken, and then I read your post and it reminded me of what used to be my mantra in life: EVERYTHING IS A LEARNING EXPERIENCE. It was strangely comforting to me to hear about your friends who were married young and wish they had waited...I think deep down, it's not so much that I really WANT to be married right now, it's just that it felt like all of a sudden, EVERYBODY else my age was...and I was thinking, okay, what is so wrong with me?? Do I have a "would make a bad wife" sticker on my forehead? Do I give out "don't marry me" vibes? LOL. Freebird your post really comforted me, thank you. Tonight when I was talking to him (the Taurus) on the phone, everything was going great, and then all of a sudden he did this weird personality switch out of nowhere and he's like "say my name" (trying to get me to say it in front of my parents, who hate him, who would kick me out if they knew I was talking to him). I said, "you know I can't do that". He's like, "you CAN, you just don't WANT to". I said 'you're right, I can't deal with the ramifications of them finding out. I don't have enough money saved up yet to get my own place if they kick me out." He YELLS into the phone, "I told you I'm not playing f * cking games anymore! Don't get me wrong, I love you, but you have 30 seconds to say my name and if you don't I'm hanging up." HE ACTUALLY STARTED COUNTING DOWN. Who, besides a third grader, does that?!? So in the midst of all this counting, I'm saying "you can count all you want, sorry but it's not gonna happen". He gets to "one" and HANGS UP THE PHONE. Of course this pissed me off, so I called back right away. I said, "you actually hung up on me?!" and he's like, "did you think I wasn't f * cking serious?" So I said, "fine, jeez, '******'", there you go!" and he goes, "no I want you to yell it so your parents can hear who you're talking to. You have 15 seconds." (Can you BELIEVE this shiznit??) I'm like, "You know I can't do what you want me to do" and he's like, "you have 2 options, do it or I hang up"...I said, "so you don't want to talk to me then?" and he's like, "do YOU not want to talk to ME?" I had had it at that point. I said, "you know what? I'm just going to let you go" and he's like, "fine, bye" (all cold) and I said "bye" and hung up.

Just needed to get that off my chest, and so you can get a little taste of how frustrating he can be. lol.

Again, many thanks to you Freebird, I will definitely sleep better tonight after reading your comforting words.

Hello Heather..how are you ,honey?.
i think that for past 3 weeks me can write a book about how frustrating They can be ,esp when they not mature enough.
i don't want to try to bring memory of that not really enjoyable expiriences, still mine a little bit less complicated and torturing(maybe)... he prefers silent punishment,while me getting worried over him(not anymore).
Yep this 1.5 was tough, but last 3 weeks just undescriable.
Plus his financing situation got out of control....
Anyway i just meant to say that i hear you, but just hung in there, don't let nobody choose what is better, who is better. Relax, take some time just for yourself, losten to your heart, set yourself free----surround just with people you enjoy been with:be easy on you! And maybe neather one of them are good, maybe it is time to let them go? i doubting you"ll be along for too long!..and about giving up something that was lasting for sometime,, but why will you want to try to save it ,if it is not really make you happy, just because of the habbit?About marriage, Freebird is right,,,it is not timing or friends getting stitched, it have to be about feelings, love, comfort,pleasure....am i right?
I guess i was scared to just give it all up, we did had a lot of great moments, maybe we still will, but for now that load is to heavy emotionally ,,,,,,,,,,,so i took off for sometime to enjoy my life and live by impulse.
Good luck.....take it easy and listen to your heart...all the best to you, take care.

TM i loved your respond on unconditional love and that cartoon heroes mixed with real people stories; just thought that sometimes cartoons more real and outspoken about some issueses(like love—?), maybe because they are made by real people ,with real lives,with real stories?
TM did u love somebody unconditionaly? Will you share your memories on that?
How is you relationship going?
Do i feel helpless now towards that :"love versus life squared by doubts if that feeling is really mutual or i do feel more than he is..?" because i'm still so young or mature people like you going through that too?
O.k be good, see you around,
good luck, hugs and kisses

your faithfull fan.....loljust clowning around a little bit.
by-bye

Aqua 2, you are so sweet!

"surround just with people you enjoy been with:be easy on you!"

P.S. Yes, I am now seriously considering how vital either of these relationships really is to my life at this point. I think I was living in denial for a while there, like in my mind I was thinking I could actually go on carrying on with them both, that it would "work itself out". But that is not life. Life means taking charge of your situation, not settling, and not creating dramatic upheavals that take you off your course. This is not how I have been living lately. I have been letting life happen to me...I let my passion for independence and success lie dormant for sake of finding out who my "soul mate" really is...when that is something that will make itself clear to me in due time. I should focus on just myself for awhile rather than being consumed with the needs of others and how I can please them. Someone may get hurt in this process, but that is inevitable...life is a continuous cycle of death and rebirth, doing away with the old and useless and welcoming the new and useful...not that I don't treasure both of these people in my own way, but this situation cannot remain stagnant as it has for so long now. For the mental health and emotional stability of us all, something needs to change. I just have to stop being afraid of that change, and I need to trust my own judgement and stop doubting intuition all the time.

*doubting MY intuition, that should say.

(see how you all are helping me??!)

🙂

I have a question for TM and I am hoping you can steer me in the right direction. I am a Virgo and I just started seeing this Taurus guy. We've known each other for a few years b/c we share the same circle of friends from one of my other circle of friends. I had not seen him for a long long time until a few months ago when we saw each other at a party. I actually didn't recognize him because he grew his hair out and he had shades on...not to mention that he was dancing with all of my friends so I thought he must be dating one of them...anyways once we recognized one another we were good and we chatted a little bit...nothing serious though....I saw him again about a month ago and I was out with a different group of friends and I actually went on a few dates with his one friend. In any case, we started dancing and flirting and we had a great time...I never thought he would be really interested in me but he seemed to be....he asked me for my number we exchanged numbers and I never called him but he called me. We also had a great conversation on the phone...actually all of our conversations have been fun light and interesting...he's also opened up alot to me...we went on a date last weekend and it was very very nice and he also kissed me at the end of the night....and he has sent me e-mails and he calls....but I am a little fearful that he may lose interest. I don't make myself too available...but I also try to show him a good amount of attention...call me paranoid but do you have any pointers or hints on what I can do to keep him interested...besides being myself?

Hope to get some feedback from anyone who has an opinion especially you TM thanks.

Nixx