Together or not— That is the question!

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Scorpgirl23
@Scorpgirl23
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 48 · Topics: 4
Been seeing a Taurus man now for about 5 months. He's an awesome fellow! Extremely handsome too in a pretty boy type of way. We've taken trips, met each other's families, spent time and talk or see each other almost everyday. I give him his space and he gives me mine. I can't complain about a thing EXCEPT the fact that when introducing me to others like friends, cousins, acquaintances, other females, he never says "this is my girlfriend, scorpgirl" He never introduces me as his...like buddy, are we still deciding? This confuses me so, I've introduced him as my man to others...even people that didn't matter as much. Why can't I get some reassurance? I'm confused...pretty sure he's kinda made up his mind about me because I know Taurus guys are patient...but really dude? Just say it!!! Help me, please. Anyone—?
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tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 10616 · Topics: 40
Why rush it. You are already 100 steps ahead of him which can make him appear as if he's holding back when clearly he's pacing himself when you're blowing past him like an Olympic runner.

Take a deep breath and then slow down because if you maintain the pace you are at mentally and emotionally you will lose him. Relax.

You are dating. You have not reached the threshold of boyfriend/girlfriend mutually yet.

You're mistake was doing boyfriend/girlfriend behavior FIRST, putting the cart before the horse

So now you either ask him the dreaded what are we doing question or you can slow down, stop introducing him as your boyfriend, stop doing girlfriend/boyfriend behavior with him to eliminate the confusion, it's up to you how you move forward.
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Scorpgirl23
@Scorpgirl23
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 48 · Topics: 4
Posted by Capri__unicorn
Posted by Scorpgirl23
Posted by TauroMale22
tell him @Scorpgirl23.


We've had "the talk" before and his response was, he's not into titles. They don't mean anything. I let that side because we were still fresh, but now I wonder what's really the issue? Commitment issues? Or maybe he doesn't want to jinx a good thing?
Best advice I ever received was to stay true to yourself. The moment he stated that he wasn't into titles you should have had a very real yet relaxed conversation about what you are looking for. No sliding...I don't understand why we as women, myself included, forfeit our expectations to not ruffle feathers in the moment...just to end up confused about the same issue later. Lol We can be clear about our intentions without being pushy or clingy. I had to learn how to immediately speak on something that didn't sit right with me with my bull. Otherwise he'd unintentionally run over me with his own desires because I wasn't saying what I really wanted. Now I do it in a way that doesn't make him feel uncomfortable, but it also lets him know my standards. This forum also helped me understand that. You could go two ways. One...you continue to wait it out, pull back a bit and play it cool until a commitment is established. Keep in mind that these men could take forever So patience is key. Or you have the conversation again and just say "hey I had some time to think about what you said about not liking titles, I respect your stance, but I'm actually looking for something a little more solid. It doesn't have to be now or even anytime soon, but id like to know if your intention is to progress to anything more...just so I have some clarity". Be as logical as possible about it. He should understand and appreciate your directness.

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Thanks so much for that advice...I am comfortable enough to have that kind of conversation with him. Either he'll accept it or not, at least I'll know for sure. If I lose him, I'm sure I can find another.
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jeane
@jeane
11 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 8048 · Topics: 36
I would go as far as speak plainly about what you want. You don't have to worry about causing offence to him. Shouldnt you know what you are getting into and what his thoughts are. I think it is bullshit that they don't know what they want. They know. Shit or get off the pot.

However in standing up for what you want you have to be prepared to put your money where your mouth is.

I had this situation with my partner early on. He was gun shy about entering into a relationship but a relationship was what I wanted. When he started giving me about vague lines about our status, I thanked him for his time, told him that's not what I am looking for and got the hell out of dodge.

People will treat you the way you allow them to. Sometimes it is necessary to create strong lines in the sand otherwise people will walk all over you. It is one thing to be sensitive to the needs of others, it's another to be a willing doormat.
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Scorpgirl23
@Scorpgirl23
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 48 · Topics: 4
Posted by jeane
I would go as far as speak plainly about what you want. You don't have to worry about causing offence to him. Shouldnt you know what you are getting into and what his thoughts are. I think it is bullshit that they don't know what they want. They know. Shit or get off the pot.

However in standing up for what you want you have to be prepared to put your money where your mouth is.

I had this situation with my partner early on. He was gun shy about entering into a relationship but a relationship was what I wanted. When he started giving me about vague lines about our status, I thanked him for his time, told him that's not what I am looking for and got the hell out of dodge.

People will treat you the way you allow them to. Sometimes it is necessary to create strong lines in the sand otherwise people will walk all over you. It is one thing to be sensitive to the needs of others, it's another to be a willing doormat.
He really shouldn't treat me like a girlfriend before he makes his mind up! Although, I love the respect and care he has shown me. Any girl would love that and would want to have him in her life. It'd be hard to walk away from that!
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jeane
@jeane
11 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 8048 · Topics: 36
Posted by Scorpgirl23
Posted by jeane
I would go as far as speak plainly about what you want. You don't have to worry about causing offence to him. Shouldnt you know what you are getting into and what his thoughts are. I think it is bullshit that they don't know what they want. They know. Shit or get off the pot.

However in standing up for what you want you have to be prepared to put your money where your mouth is.

I had this situation with my partner early on. He was gun shy about entering into a relationship but a relationship was what I wanted. When he started giving me about vague lines about our status, I thanked him for his time, told him that's not what I am looking for and got the hell out of dodge.

People will treat you the way you allow them to. Sometimes it is necessary to create strong lines in the sand otherwise people will walk all over you. It is one thing to be sensitive to the needs of others, it's another to be a willing doormat.
He really shouldn't treat me like a girlfriend before he makes his mind up! Although, I love the respect and care he has shown me. Any girl would love that and would want to have him in her life. It'd be hard to walk away from that!
click to expand

are you fucking?
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Scorpgirl23
@Scorpgirl23
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 48 · Topics: 4
Posted by Nevermore
If he doesn't introduce you to everyone as you gf, just be very aware of it.

Despite he did introduced you to his family, but cousins, friend & other female?

But, you're seeing a Taurus man for 5 months? Or are you in committed & exclusive relationship with him?

There should be a good communication. There's no laziness of telling everyone that you're his gf.
He has only mentioned to me that I am the only person he is pursuing and getting to know. But no title and he has not officially asked me to be his girlfriend. Do Taurus guys asks?
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tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 10616 · Topics: 40
Posted by Scorpgirl23
Posted by TauroMale22
tell him @Scorpgirl23.


We've had "the talk" before and his response was, he's not into titles. They don't mean anything. I let that side because we were still fresh, but now I wonder what's really the issue? Commitment issues? Or maybe he doesn't want to jinx a good thing?
click to expand

He let you know upfront he is not into titles which was your queue to assess if what he wants is in alignment with what you want and if it doesn't line up then you have the choice to either stay or move on. You chose to stay.



When you chose to continue on with him you nonverbally CONSENTED and AGREED to do it HIS WAY.

Now that you are fully aware of his terms to date without a title, what are you going to do? No one can know your truth better than you.

My rule of thumb is to be true to thy own SELF. Before I met my husband I made similar mistakes so totally understand your issue. Being true to yourself means owning up to the fact that titles are important YOU and not fall into the non title situanship with men that RESIST fully falling in love and committing himself to YOU. This is more about you than it is about him.

He fed you a good heavy dose of care and respect to HOOK you into this non title situation b/c he knew once you are hooked you will be hard pressed to leave him.

If titles are important to you then you must muster up the guts to stop putting all your eggs in his non title basket.



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aquariusjv120
@aquariusjv120
9 Years

Comments: 1 · Posts: 35 · Topics: 0
Damn, there's some really great advice here! @scorpgirl23. I kinda of understand your situation. I'm somewhat going through a rollercoaster with mine. Only thing is if he knows what he wants and that works for him then you should know what works for you. Icare for mine but I love myself! It may hurt me but I rather hurt now then invest more of my time and energy to hurt more down the line. Good luck!
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AgentP911
@AgentP911
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 3847 · Topics: 1
Posted by jeane
Posted by Scorpgirl23
Posted by jeane
are you sleeping together?
Yes we are....I'm a Scorpio!
in the words of agentp, so he is sure he knows he wants to stick his dick in you but he is not sure if you are good enough to call gf?

you are making excuses for this guy. that's ok but don't delude yourself he hasn't made his mind up already.
click to expand



That line is legendary ?
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oystergirl
@oystergirl
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 21 · Topics: 0
Posted by AgentP911
Posted by jeane
Posted by Scorpgirl23
Posted by jeane
are you sleeping together?
Yes we are....I'm a Scorpio!
in the words of agentp, so he is sure he knows he wants to stick his dick in you but he is not sure if you are good enough to call gf?

you are making excuses for this guy. that's ok but don't delude yourself he hasn't made his mind up already.


That line is legendary ?

click to expand

lol you should put a patent on it.

This whole situation sounds fishy. Taurus or not, men are quick to claim you as their GF when they see you as such. Meeting his parents doesn't indicate any intention of commitment. I have a friend who introduces all his dates to his family and friends, even though he doesn't see long-term potential. It's not that serious.
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M143
@M143
12 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 2 · Posts: 2497 · Topics: 2
Let me share.

The bull I am living right now..during courtship but had sex thing. He invited me to joined with him with all those 43 people colleagues at work. Now, he had a problem divorcing his wife that time. He asked how would I like to be introduced to these people since they knew his wife. I replied, he can introduced me as friend,girlfriend,cousin or a mistress, I dont mind we are just knowing each other.

He said ok.

I don't care. The fact he asked meaning he wasn't ready yet..or I don't know because he kept saying those times he was smitten by me and I am his soulmate. To sum up I wasn't bother. But yeah he kept putting foods in my mouth. Surrounded me his arms cuz most of his colleagues are men

Anyway, he just introduced me as hi guys this M. M, these are all my colleagues at work. Obvious part they knew im the gf.lol
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Scorpgirl23
@Scorpgirl23
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 48 · Topics: 4
He's not married or divorcing....we both don't have children and own our own homes. I've had his key and he's had mine. I've stayed at his home and he's stayed at mine. He's watched my dog while I was out of town and he likes hanging out with my friends. We're dating! I think the time frame could be bothering him as well. Us SCORPS, we kinda just know! 5 months may not be long enough to claim someone.
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tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 10616 · Topics: 40
I believe when we women start sharing too much of ourselves before KNOWING where she is in a man's life she gets confused and then she grows impatient which can lead to a total breakdown of the no title siuationship.

You're sharing house keys, having sex with no condom which is the most vulnerable part of ourselves, hopefully you are using condoms, meeting one another's families and friends and maybe even doing vacations and mini getaways together and that is doing too much in a 5 month no title pseudo relationship.

Figure out what you want. Figure how much more time you're going to be with the no title guy so you can regain a bit of inner confidence and feel a bit more incontrol of your situation and not feel like you're on the begging end of your situation with him. You are a powerful Scorpio, you know what to do.
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Scorpgirl23
@Scorpgirl23
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 48 · Topics: 4
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by Scorpgirl23
He's not married or divorcing....we both don't have children and own our own homes. I've had his key and he's had mine. I've stayed at his home and he's stayed at mine. He's watched my dog while I was out of town and he likes hanging out with my friends. We're dating! I think the time frame could be bothering him as well. Us SCORPS, we kinda just know! 5 months may not be long enough to claim someone.
You are not his gf only known him for 5 months and he has a key to your house?

That's crazy...
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Sometimes I forget and leave things on at home while I'm working. I appreciate that I can call him and he can run by to save my possessions. Either him or my neighbor. 5 months is a while when you're talking every day multiple times and seeing each almost every day when we have time even for just a minute or two. Of course, I wouldn't do that if I felt he would be malicious.
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Scorpgirl23
@Scorpgirl23
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 48 · Topics: 4
Posted by tiki33
I believe when we women start sharing too much of ourselves before KNOWING where she is in a man's life she gets confused and then she grows impatient which can lead to a total breakdown of the no title siuationship.

You're sharing house keys, having sex with no condom which is the most vulnerable part of ourselves, hopefully you are using condoms, meeting one another's families and friends and maybe even doing vacations and mini getaways together and that is doing too much in a 5 month no title pseudo relationship.

Figure out what you want. Figure how much more time you're going to be with the no title guy so you can regain a bit of inner confidence and feel a bit more incontrol of your situation and not feel like you're on the begging end of your situation with him. You are a powerful Scorpio, you know what to do.


Thanks for the advice! Makes sense! And yes, I am always protected and strapped!