What is my Taurus guy up to??

So few days back I posted a long message which basically made everyone here feel I am with a cheater and to fix that I and my Taurus are now seeing a couples counselor.

In my 5 years I started getting physically intimate with him just recently and I love it and he says he likes it too but he gets soft right between making love to me. I suspected he was still stuck with this girl he was cheating on me a month ago. But since then he has cut all contacts with her and is working hard to be with me and my child.
I however feel he is depressed over the other girl that he really seemed to like a lot... He shared their conversations with me and I noticed him telling her stuff he has not said to me in 5 yrs! It was hurtful. But what's even more hurtful is the fact that he is with me because he feels guilty and responsible for my child but he says thoughts about the other lady come to him like a short series and he gets very absorbed in it and wishes it was real sometimes simply because it was all new and he enjoyed the "in-love" phase with her.
Why is my Taurus torturing himself? What can I do to make him feel any better or take a sane step? I want to walk away but without any hurt towards him and only if he wants me to go because I love him very much.. And yes I know he cheated on me but he is owning it and trying to work out of it so I have chosen to forgive him. Can a Taurus guy keep his momentary interest in a girl aside to be and do what he feels he needs to for me and my child?

Why would you want to stay with someone who has cheated on you?. He's told you he was in love with the other woman.

You're going to find it hard to trust him again physically and emotionally.

evalani290- I'm not trying to convince him. He is trying to convince me. He is looking forward to the counselor meetings for some direction on how to move forward. I am not trying for a quick fix either... But just an idea of what direction are we going here if he is trying hard to be commuted to me while his mind wanders where he knows there is no security just pleasure. As far as time, we are giving each of us a year to understand where this is leading to. And so far it seems it's going good but I just had a conversation where he expressed this desire that is still on his mind about the other girl and it got me thinking... What is he doing and why?

I don't want to get him over her, I told him I will take my child and disappear if he wants to be with the other girl but he has stopped me three times already and he says I just need to give him some time to prove himself.

If I am doing everything wrong please tell me what is right according to ur understanding.. Thanks.

ScorpionsHarmony- only reason I even consider any of this my mistake is because I have hurt him several times in my ignorance about his feelings for me while I was still dealing with my ex husband and my child's tantrums after divorce. I was an immigrant to this country and I had NO family or friends what so ever. That's when my Taurus came into my life and made sure I had nothing to complain. He was with me every step of the way but just like he can't see right now what I am doing for him I didn't see then what he was going through for me for 5 years! I am guilty and I can't take back my mistakes but I am doing my part now best I can although I feel defeated at my cause.
I did have sex with him to fix anything. I was wanting to have sex with him for a while and going to counselling and speaking our feelings to each other and apologizing for our mistakes is what triggered it perhaps and I have no complains about that. I love him enough to not regret it even if this is meant to go nowhere..
In his words, he is guilty and emotionally torn between me (his security) and her (his pleasure)
Our counselor suggested the book 5 love languages and that's how come we are both working on "fixing" things.

MadMarchRam- perhaps because I don't know how to walk away and do it where I feel okay doing so. In the past 5 years we just stitched together like two pieces of fabric and there seems no way to pull a thread and walk away without everything else falling apart. He perhaps has not much to lose because he has fought with his family and sexual desires to be with me because his family does not accept me and he loves sex but never had none in 5 years. If anything, leaving me will free him from his responsibilities but inspite of it I was ready to walk away but he didn't want me to.

Busyeyes88- I keep telling myself just that quite often when he is not around and I know he looks for her car everyday at work just to make sure she is okay even though he does not try to see her or talk to her. And I know he thinks about her and that's how come he can't perform in bed with me. But while he is putting his effort for me it shows in his actions even though he doesn't seem himself and when I am with him I constantly make sure to do my part to make him happy... I am hoping one day either our efforts towards each other will win or the thought of separating will but while I am with him I want to make sure there is nothing I hold back to show him how much I love him because I have never loved anyone like I do him and after this scar I probably never will.

Impulse- true! I don't want to force him to love me. I was not even trying that. He just looks very torn and depressed and I can't stand it and just wondered why he can't just walk away or find his peace? I was wondering if that's how a Taurus guy does?? From early on in my childhood to this day with my Taurus I never had security in any of my relationships with anyone. I an perhaps looking for definite answers now with my Taurus. A yes or no will do but may be, kinda, I don't know... Is not cutting it for me. I want him to be happily with me or happily separated. He doesn't seem to be happy with none... And that makes me very lost. Will he come after me if I am gone? Will he forget about me if I am gone? He says he never wants to let me off his sight and he loves me but he is not sure about what our future holds. He says all he can promise is he will never let me go. The other lady though is doing exactly what makes her ever more irresistible! She comes to work but does not try to contact him. I know that my Taurus gets even more crazy for a girl that will not contact him. So it's working for her. In my case we have lived together under the same roof for 5 years even though we had separate apartments, I could never make stay at his place. Now our place, car, phones... Everything is under our names all combined. If I break away it won't be in even pieces and I will have to be extremely strong to walk away yet again from my nest..

I meant to say he * could never stay at his place. He use to always come to stay at my place.

you've given yourself a year, give yourselves a year. don't make any decisions now. keep going to counselling. keep talking and be honest with yourself. the right path will reveal itself to you and him in time.

You know when I heard him cheating the first thought in my mind was "that's it! I'm out!!!" I packed my bags and I was ready to leave ... I called a homeless shelter because that's all I can do for now since my job does not pay enough for an apartment on my name alone and I did not want to think about what will happen after I leave him. I just knew this was not right that he cheated on me.

The advocate I talked to though at the shelter knows me well from the days when Taurus had just started seeing me and she knows him and me very well and she made me sit down and think if my reaction to his action was too spontaneous. She told me cheating is the number cause of relationship breaking but there are many out of those relationships that get back together. Sometimes another woman/man in a relationship can be due to the couples mistake and not just one of them trying to be a cheater. This advocate is a learned lady that has helped several couples.

She most ppl think that men are after sex and women are just emotional but that isn't true. Men are equally emotional but unlike women men don't express their emotions well enough because they are like kids.

And that's how come my Taurus and I decided to go to counselling and give this a year. If he wanted to continue being a cheater he would not give me all the info about the lady he was cheating on and would not share all their conversations, texts, pics, emails and voicemails with me. I told him to go be with her if that's what makes him happy because my love is not that selfish. I can love him unconditionally as long as he is happy. If he has been a cheater then that's on him and his deeds. I don't believe in revenge. I believe in good deeds.

The reason I posted here is to understand his mind frame from the perspective of a Taurus but I everytime I post I get ppl saying to leave him. I will leave him when I am done dealing with the madness. But until then can't someone just give me an insight of him as a Taurus born on 5/5/1986?? What is his deal! I am trying to understand him and he does not seem like other Taurus guys I read about.

Iya,

Lol. wayback to your post. Somebody posted a comment if you and I - talking the same man ( joke)

again, your man sounds like my man. lol. I hope I don't pissed you off.

My man kept refraining to me * M, I think you're not in love with me, You just want to be in-love with me*

To tell you honestly I replied this way: Is that what you think of me? then let it be.

He even tried to evaluate me emotionally if those walls he sees in me was a pain memory of my past.

I said yes. Now I cannot commit any man my whole life- I'm responsible for my life.

No regrets when I announced it won't work again for us and was sorry.

Taurus people find it difficult to move on... when we were together I dig up his phone and all his bookshelf and closets - anything I find malicious and suspicious made me felt grew even colder - no wonder he knew there was wall between us. Later did he knew all the why's answers. so he started cleaning up all his mess.. but it's too late.

I believe Iya can't do anything to fix him. That's is really frustrating. It's like asking him to love you.
Be a donor of love and not a beggar of love.

Sorry to everyone who thought I was not calm . I am very calm and grateful for all the responses. For those who are tired of hearing about me and my Taurus, I appreciate the time you spent reading my post so far and perhaps may be you can just ignore me?

For all those who believe in falling in and out of love perhaps don't realize that love is a choice. I am not begging for love, I am practicing my choice along with his choice to be with me. We have a rough patch which made us both do things to each other that were not right to either one of us. We realize that and we are doing great on our path of patching up things.
My counselors words- When you fall in love you go through a love phase. It's the honeymoon stage of any relationship where one feels high! So high that they can straight away be wrecking their lives but they don't see it at that time. And no one can tell them otherwise and help them come out of it until the honeymoon stage wears off on its own. Gradually they realize something is not the same and it's time to part. In my taurus's case he decided to cut him self off cold turkey from this other woman while he was on his extreme high and a dreamy state of mind with her. Therefore he has to go through his grieving process in order to realize what he couldn't see while he was on his high of the love phase with the other woman. My choice is to look for other guys and go through a third relationship and wonder why it's not working either or work on what I have. I don't have to work on it but I can if I want to. I chose to work on it because my Taurus has chosen to work on us.

I was here only to understand my Taurus better through his planetary placements but it's unfortunate that people are either so hurt themselves or so intolerant towards one's choice that they can't even understand what I am asking for. I don't need advice on my relationship. I just want to know about me and my Taurus according to astrology. I want to know about his weakness and mine, his strength and mine and how we can work well for each other or where we lack.

My Taurus-

Sun - Taurus 14.29
Moon - Aries 3.52
Mercury - Aries 25.59
Venus - Gemini 10.19
Mars - Capricorn 16.36
Jupiter - Pisces 16.09
Saturn - Sagittarius 8.02R
Uranus - Sagittarius 21.46R
Neptune - Capricorn 5.37R
Pluto - Scorpio 5.43R
Lilith - Gemini 7.32
Asc node - Aries 29.56

Mine-

Sun Capricorn 10.05
Moon Aquarius 12.31
Mercury Sagittarius 19.17
Venus Scorpio 24.30
Mars Capricorn 14.48
Jupiter Leo 6.59R
Saturn Virgo 13.53R
Uranus Scorpio 19.42
Neptune Sagittarius 18.51
Pluto Libra 19.07
Lilith Leo 8.51
Asc node Virgo 20.17

Busyeyes88- thanks for sticking around.

I saw him as a cheat too. I still see him as a cheat several times a day. I am grieving in my own way and he is on his own. He is suffering depression and guilt. He likes to fix things quick and this is definitely not one of them! I have chose to stay with him for now so I have to make the choice to see him for more than a cheater. We are learning about "love tank"... Sounds crazy but each one of us has a love tank and our own way to express love and receive love. What went wrong between me and my Taurus is we both just rested on the fact that we are in love and once the honeymoon phase wore off we didn't do nothing about it ... In 5 years our love tanks got emptied out and the way my Taurus tried to fill his love tank was by finding another woman that seemed to express love his way and I started day dreaming about life as a single because I didn't feel loved with my Taurus. True love is always a choice not a crush or falling. True love needs to be worked on so our love tanks stay full after the in love phase starts expiring. I just heard about this concept and me and my Taurus made a list of things last night that we would like each one of us to do for the other to feel loved. This morning he fulfilled one of my preferred expressions of love and I did his and I loved the look of contentment on his face before he left for work.

Thanks busyeyes88 ... Your explanation helped. So from what you are saying no matter how hard he tries he can't work it out. And that I am too deep for him to understand and connect with me?

Okay thank you very much guys. Each and everyone of you!! This is what I wanted to know and understand. Thank you for ur kind wishes 🙂 I would not have kept coming to this forum if I didn't realize that you all are very helpful!! Thanks again...

I will come back and let you know. Thanks! 🙂

i don't think it helped that she didn't sleep with him for 5 years either.

busyeyes88- my recent update... My Taurus mentioned couple days ago that part of him says that this is not going to work between him and I and that he should let me go. I was just waiting to hear this from his mouth. I thought about it and considering my daughters feelings I didn't want to break off with my Taurus causing any drama because she blames me already for leaving her dad and she thinks I am being mean to my Taurus too because she has seen me try to leave before. So I talked to my Taurus ( who seemed to be pretty wrapped up in his head about the woman he cheated on me ) and instead of saying we should separate if you partially feel that way, I asked him just as a possibility that if we were to separate how would he like to go about it? And he explained in great detail that he would shift once I find a job because (I can't find any job that pays enough for me to be able to sign a lease on my name) he knows if I move to a shelter I will lose my child's custody rights and then even though the apartment will be on his name I can just work and keep paying the rent and live here.... And then he goes BUT I am not going anywhere! I told him you are not completely into me so I think u should go. He says ," but I don't want to go! I want to be with you and I know I have this unstable thing about me but I want to learn to control it. I want to settle down and I know you are who I can count upon. I know I like her ( the other woman) but I will never find any woman that loves me like you do and I know I will get bored of her very soon because it was only sexual between me and her and I liked her body and the fact that she kept her kids out of the picture but I didn't agree with a lot of things she said. I only miss the new-ness of the whole thing with her and no responsibilities and I liked that very much but I love you. " he even went on to saying that he is planning on marrying me next year and working on being faithful so he can prove me that he is someone I can be proud of in future. The thing is after I decided I must let him go, I am still stuck in letting him go phase and past couple days have been very different with my Taurus. He calls me off the blue from work just to tell me loves me. He shows lot of affection by cuddling with me even in public places and stays turned on in bed unlike he was just recently. He is extremely patient with my child too. I'm just waiting to watch how long will this phase last.. In the mean time I am enjoying too

When I say I'm enjoying it , I mean that's my option for the moment. No point having to live it and being worried and wondering who he is thinking about. I just feel who ever it is, I'm never the exclusive one so why bother... I will just live this situation until it lasts and then on to the next challenge when he's done played his part of being with me. Yes I'm stuck. My life story is a mess and id rather not go in details. I'm just preparing myself mentally for when he is gone.

Posted by Iya
When I say I'm enjoying it , I mean that's my option for the moment. No point having to live it and being worried and wondering who he is thinking about. I just feel who ever it is, I'm never the exclusive one so why bother... I will just live this situation until it lasts and then on to the next challenge when he's done played his part of being with me. Yes I'm stuck. My life story is a mess and id rather not go in details. I'm just preparing myself mentally for when he is gone.

i'm sorry to hear this lya. sounds like an grim and miserable situation to find yourself in. i hope things begin to look up for you and your daughter soon.

OMG.

Iya, I would stop reading your post now. I see a lot of similarity the way your taurus man expresses his feelings.

I hate memories..lol.

busyeyes88,

yup. We broke up October 2014 . Yes I must not dig up an ex. but all the story of Iya, calls my attention. and this May 2015 - he is disguising an fb request.

and the ex taur lady he had in his past that has no job and have kids copying all my gestures in my fb page. both taurus are snooping my fb? lol.

He dumped her. She's mocking at me because she's jealous when she heard him saying he loves me.. Scorpio won't stay in a relationship when

red flag arise - when a man recite his love but ex still in the picture? He didn't heard me saying Fix your problem with that ex taur lady.

all he said was: M, she is not my ex, not my gf, but that was just a sex. gosh. yes. Gotta go now. exit. enough for an ex taur. lol