R
@thecrazyariestaurus
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus
Comments: 290 · Posts: 1716 · Topics: 107
What to do?
Posted by thecrazyariestaurus1. Who sleeps with you? He does.
I was talking to my Taurus bf's mom yesterday, and she started talking about one of his exes. She ended up telling me that her, my bf, and his ex all had lunch together recently. I don't know how recent this is. She said that she came to visit from another city, and called him and wanted to have lunch. She assured me that they've always stayed good friends after they broke up, and she's married and has two kids now, and her husband knows and lets her have lunch with him.
I was livid, but I had to hold myself back from exploding on him because his brother just died 2 days ago. I just feel like shit. I feel like I'm wasting my time being there for him and his family when he talks to his ex and hides it from me. I know this sounds really immature and selfish but I'm just so hurt. They were together for 4 years (from high school to after high school) and they've been broken up for years, but I still am not ok with the whole situation.
I want to tell him that he needs to choose between us because this is something I'm not gonna tolerate. I just feel selfish for even thinking this. Am I over reacting?? When's a good time to tel him?? I can't do this right now because he's got enough shit to deal with
2. Who does he kiss? You.
3. Who does he say, "I love you" to? You.
4. Who talks/texts with him? You.
5. Who eats lunch/dinner (okay, breakfast) with him? You.
Why does this generation always fall in the JEALOUSY pit? (the green ugly monster?) You don't OWN him (EVEN if you were married; thus the vows, "forsaking others" in marriage, HELL you, will you have lunch w/your ex-bf/ex-wife when I'm your current wife). So what if they had lunch together? The mother is doing nothing behind your back; neither is your boyfriend. And y'all post that Pisceans are SELFISH...not!
🤗 cyber hugs!
Love,
Eva
Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxXExactly. I think that's what bothers me the most. If he would've mentioned it, then maybe I would've been more ok with it.
If he had been honest and forthright about wanting to remain friends with his ex then I'd be inclined to say that you might be overreacting, but the fact that he lied to you and hid it from you is a huge red flag.
Doesn't matter if nothing happened between them. He has shown himself to be untrustworthy and relationships don't work without trust.
Posted by EvatheDivaWell, I am a Taurus you know, were possessive lolPosted by thecrazyariestaurus1. Who sleeps with you? He does.
I was talking to my Taurus bf's mom yesterday, and she started talking about one of his exes. She ended up telling me that her, my bf, and his ex all had lunch together recently. I don't know how recent this is. She said that she came to visit from another city, and called him and wanted to have lunch. She assured me that they've always stayed good friends after they broke up, and she's married and has two kids now, and her husband knows and lets her have lunch with him.
I was livid, but I had to hold myself back from exploding on him because his brother just died 2 days ago. I just feel like shit. I feel like I'm wasting my time being there for him and his family when he talks to his ex and hides it from me. I know this sounds really immature and selfish but I'm just so hurt. They were together for 4 years (from high school to after high school) and they've been broken up for years, but I still am not ok with the whole situation.
I want to tell him that he needs to choose between us because this is something I'm not gonna tolerate. I just feel selfish for even thinking this. Am I over reacting?? When's a good time to tel him?? I can't do this right now because he's got enough shit to deal with
2. Who does he kiss? You.
3. Who does he say, "I love you" to? You.
4. Who talks/texts with him? You.
5. Who eats lunch/dinner (okay, breakfast) with him? You.
Why does this generation always fall in the JEALOUSY pit? (the green ugly monster?) You don't OWN him (EVEN if you were married; thus the vows, "forsaking others" in marriage, HELL you, will you have lunch w/your ex-bf/ex-wife when I'm your current wife). So what if they had lunch together? The mother is doing nothing behind your back; neither is your boyfriend. And y'all post that Pisceans are SELFISH...not!
🤗 cyber hugs!
Love,
Evaclick to expand
That's why I came on here, to get older more experienced people's perspective. All my friends are young, and they're all gonna say "fuck him! Move on! Blah blah".
Posted by AznnationI guess I'm just paranoid that he'll still have feelings for her. You're right, it is insecurity and I'm not afraid to admit it.Posted by thecrazyariestaurus
I was talking to my Taurus bf's mom yesterday, and she started talking about one of his exes. She ended up telling me that her, my bf, and his ex all had lunch together recently. I don't know how recent this is. She said that she came to visit from another city, and called him and wanted to have lunch. She assured me that they've always stayed good friends after they broke up, and she's married and has two kids now, and her husband knows and lets her have lunch with him.
I was livid, but I had to hold myself back from exploding on him because his brother just died 2 days ago. I just feel like shit. I feel like I'm wasting my time being there for him and his family when he talks to his ex and hides it from me. I know this sounds really immature and selfish but I'm just so hurt. They were together for 4 years (from high school to after high school) and they've been broken up for years, but I still am not ok with the whole situation.
I want to tell him that he needs to choose between us because this is something I'm not gonna tolerate. I just feel selfish for even thinking this. Am I over reacting?? When's a good time to tel him?? I can't do this right now because he's got enough shit to deal with
Why would he have to tell you if its nothing important to him? When there is nothing to hide? whats wrong for her husband to let her have lunch with him when he trust her ?lol.
Why are you not okay with the situation? It shows insecurity
click to expand
If he is having lunch with his ex AND his MOTHER it's clearly important enough.
I would be upset as well if he didn't tell me but I don't think supporting him through this time is pointless. His brother just died so let him get comfort where he can because he needs it, as long as he is not cheating. It was only one lunch meeting, which is not cheating. Just ask him about it nonchalantly if you don't want to come off as insecure. People like Aznnation love to pull the "OmG YouRE So InSeCuUurRrEE [insert spongebob picture]" card but I think your reaction is fine. A little dramatic, but fine.
I would be upset as well if he didn't tell me but I don't think supporting him through this time is pointless. His brother just died so let him get comfort where he can because he needs it, as long as he is not cheating. It was only one lunch meeting, which is not cheating. Just ask him about it nonchalantly if you don't want to come off as insecure. People like Aznnation love to pull the "OmG YouRE So InSeCuUurRrEE [insert spongebob picture]" card but I think your reaction is fine. A little dramatic, but fine.
you just put up a thread saying you were sad about an Aries passing - supposed to become the "uncle" ... so it's ok for you to have the opposite sex friends but your boyfriend not to ? I'm confused - please clarify
I do understand that him not telling you is a thing - I agree with you there - he should be upfront with everything because it only leads to misunderstanding
I do understand that him not telling you is a thing - I agree with you there - he should be upfront with everything because it only leads to misunderstanding
Posted by thecrazyariestaurusListen to the "young chickies"...guess what?! You're gonna lose the BEST thing God sent you...him! I am currently communicating with a Taurus man. He's 44; I am 52; asked him if the age difference was a "deal breaker" for him. "No", he said. I date from 44-54. I hit the jackpot! He's in California as we speak. Am I calling him 30 times a day? No. He's visiting his father who was diagnosed with stomach cancer and isn't doing too well 😢 If I lose him because I'm "Jealous" I will be the one kicking myself in the ass. Am I gonna lose him? Only if I see evidence that he is not legit, lying to me, etc. I've done my homework with this Taurus man. He texted me an app where I saw him driving from Texas to California (it was as if I was sitting right beside him in his truck). He's a good man. I asked him whenever he wants to have me fly up to CA to see him, I would leave it up to him. We decided in about a week or two (he just arrived on Tuesday, 6 June 2017). Remember, I'm the one that read her tea leaves (coffee cup) and I saw me spooning with a guy in bed, an angel with beautiful wings looking over at us, a man's organ, a turtle, and a Taurus? That was me. I posted this back in December and this year (2017) I asked where the hell is this Taurus man? He arrived on 30 May 2017.Posted by EvatheDivaWell, I am a Taurus you know, were possessive lolPosted by thecrazyariestaurus1. Who sleeps with you? He does.
I was talking to my Taurus bf's mom yesterday, and she started talking about one of his exes. She ended up telling me that her, my bf, and his ex all had lunch together recently. I don't know how recent this is. She said that she came to visit from another city, and called him and wanted to have lunch. She assured me that they've always stayed good friends after they broke up, and she's married and has two kids now, and her husband knows and lets her have lunch with him.
I was livid, but I had to hold myself back from exploding on him because his brother just died 2 days ago. I just feel like shit. I feel like I'm wasting my time being there for him and his family when he talks to his ex and hides it from me. I know this sounds really immature and selfish but I'm just so hurt. They were together for 4 years (from high school to after high school) and they've been broken up for years, but I still am not ok with the whole situation.
I want to tell him that he needs to choose between us because this is something I'm not gonna tolerate. I just feel selfish for even thinking this. Am I over reacting?? When's a good time to tel him?? I can't do this right now because he's got enough shit to deal with
2. Who does he kiss? You.
3. Who does he say, "I love you" to? You.
4. Who talks/texts with him? You.
5. Who eats lunch/dinner (okay, breakfast) with him? You.
Why does this generation always fall in the JEALOUSY pit? (the green ugly monster?) You don't OWN him (EVEN if you were married; thus the vows, "forsaking others" in marriage, HELL you, will you have lunch w/your ex-bf/ex-wife when I'm your current wife). So what if they had lunch together? The mother is doing nothing behind your back; neither is your boyfriend. And y'all post that Pisceans are SELFISH...not!
🤗 cyber hugs!
Love,
Eva
That's why I came on here, to get older more experienced people's perspective. All my friends are young, and they're all gonna say "fuck him! Move on! Blah blah".
click to expand
Take advice from a wise owl.
🤗 cyber hugs!
Love
Eva
Posted by tctaI'm fine with him having female friends, a lot of his female friends were there when we all met up to talk about his bro. It's just the fact that it's his ex of 4 years that bothers me.
you just put up a thread saying you were sad about an Aries passing - supposed to become the "uncle" ... so it's ok for you to have the opposite sex friends but your boyfriend not to ? I'm confused - please clarify
I do understand that him not telling you is a thing - I agree with you there - he should be upfront with everything because it only leads to misunderstanding
Posted by thecrazyariestaurusok gotcha - yeah, having lunch with mother and all and not even saying a word ... hmmmmPosted by tctaI'm fine with him having female friends, a lot of his female friends were there when we all met up to talk about his bro. It's just the fact that it's his ex of 4 years that bothers me.
you just put up a thread saying you were sad about an Aries passing - supposed to become the "uncle" ... so it's ok for you to have the opposite sex friends but your boyfriend not to ? I'm confused - please clarify
I do understand that him not telling you is a thing - I agree with you there - he should be upfront with everything because it only leads to misunderstanding
click to expand
This woman has a husband and children now. Clearly both people have moved on in their personal lives, but a friendship remains. I would feel a little hurt if the mother had not also been there. To me, that proves this is a simple, platonic connection that he wishes to maintain.
I am close to one of my exes, but we were together for 8 years and he knows me better than anyone. If someone I was dating became insecure and crazy and told me I could no longer talk to him or see him occasionally, I would end the relationship with that person. There is no way I would give up this connection and this person to make a relationship temporarily work with someone that clearly did not trust me.
Try to step back and see this for what it is. Consider if you really trust him, and if not, maybe you need to reconsider your decision to be in a relationship with him.
I am close to one of my exes, but we were together for 8 years and he knows me better than anyone. If someone I was dating became insecure and crazy and told me I could no longer talk to him or see him occasionally, I would end the relationship with that person. There is no way I would give up this connection and this person to make a relationship temporarily work with someone that clearly did not trust me.
Try to step back and see this for what it is. Consider if you really trust him, and if not, maybe you need to reconsider your decision to be in a relationship with him.
This is 100% unacceptable behaviour, and his mum sounds like a bit of a sh*t as well to be honest. Don't let anyone accuse you here of being insecure, it was the wrong thing to do.
Why can't people leave the past alone?
Why can't people leave the past alone?
Heres what you do:
You sit him down and explain to him why this hurt you. Tell him that by not telling you about this lunch with his ex is causing you major pause. Its having you question whether or not you can trust him.
Re-iterate that you care for him and see a future with him. However you need honesty moving forward.
Don't forget this incident. And if it happens again you may need to re-evaluate whether or not this relationship will work for you. On the plus side it sounds like mom has your back. You could prolly ask her in the future whether they are still meeting up.
You sit him down and explain to him why this hurt you. Tell him that by not telling you about this lunch with his ex is causing you major pause. Its having you question whether or not you can trust him.
Re-iterate that you care for him and see a future with him. However you need honesty moving forward.
Don't forget this incident. And if it happens again you may need to re-evaluate whether or not this relationship will work for you. On the plus side it sounds like mom has your back. You could prolly ask her in the future whether they are still meeting up.
I think it sounds like his mum like to stir it up. I wonder how he reacted to the fact that she brought it up with you..was he mad? I just mean some women have a preference for the ex..I hope it's not the case here.
Posted by taurusgirl9000That's sick! You clearly not over him'
This woman has a husband and children now. Clearly both people have moved on in their personal lives, but a friendship remains. I would feel a little hurt if the mother had not also been there. To me, that proves this is a simple, platonic connection that he wishes to maintain.
I am close to one of my exes, but we were together for 8 years and he knows me better than anyone. If someone I was dating became insecure and crazy and told me I could no longer talk to him or see him occasionally, I would end the relationship with that person. There is no way I would give up this connection and this person to make a relationship temporarily work with someone that clearly did not trust me.
Try to step back and see this for what it is. Consider if you really trust him, and if not, maybe you need to reconsider your decision to be in a relationship with him.
There is a reason you are EXES!
'He knows me better than anyone' my ass!
If someone you fell in love told you he is hurt by seeing your ex - and you will dump him— Cut the crap!!! You saying you will not love anyone more than your ex!
What are you doing on your 'dates'?
You looking at him and crying?
Or you trying to laugh and touch his body parts? What a ridiculous disposition!
Posted by SolaBecause it's not so much past!
This is 100% unacceptable behaviour, and his mum sounds like a bit of a sh*t as well to be honest. Don't let anyone accuse you here of being insecure, it was the wrong thing to do.
Why can't people leave the past alone?
It keeps going inside like infection!
I can see if mother set it up and he really wasn't happy about it and feeling guilty - so he didn't tell her.
Happy family! Mom, son and ex gf!
Considering her husband 'let's her' - she is apparently a leader who does whatever she wants and ahe still has an itch!
One thing just came to my mind. Maybe mother is not a wicked witch - but having her son passed she wanted to have ex to talk about him because ex apparently knew him well and that's the only thing I see that can be understood.
Depends on how long op and son are dating. Because if OP knew her deceased son as well - they could talk as well.
Idk. Watch out girl!
Asking him to choose will not be a good thing for your relationship. If he was willing to do it without telling you, then the friendship means something to him. Not to say, he was trying to hide it, maybe he didn't think it was a big deal or if he did think it would be a bigger deal than he wanted it to be to you, that may be why he didn't tell you.
Either way, she is obviously close to his mother therefore, it will be difficult to break that connection completely. Maybe if it was just him meeting up with her... but not when his Mother was there too.
I'd be interested to see what he says.
Either way, she is obviously close to his mother therefore, it will be difficult to break that connection completely. Maybe if it was just him meeting up with her... but not when his Mother was there too.
I'd be interested to see what he says.
Posted by GemitatiThank you for this, um, interesting response. We no longer live in the same country. I moved abroad a few years ago. We do still talk through email and if I do ever go back to where he lives, I expect to have dinner with him and catch up. Even if we were living in the same place still, I would expect to be able to have lunch with him occasionally and communicate with him. If I were dating someone as immature as you, and they showed it by reacting in a way similar to how you've reacted, I would absolutely break up with them. The men that I date have to be secure in themselves and have to trust me. Without trust, there is nothing.Posted by taurusgirl9000That's sick! You clearly not over him'
This woman has a husband and children now. Clearly both people have moved on in their personal lives, but a friendship remains. I would feel a little hurt if the mother had not also been there. To me, that proves this is a simple, platonic connection that he wishes to maintain.
I am close to one of my exes, but we were together for 8 years and he knows me better than anyone. If someone I was dating became insecure and crazy and told me I could no longer talk to him or see him occasionally, I would end the relationship with that person. There is no way I would give up this connection and this person to make a relationship temporarily work with someone that clearly did not trust me.
Try to step back and see this for what it is. Consider if you really trust him, and if not, maybe you need to reconsider your decision to be in a relationship with him.
There is a reason you are EXES!
'He knows me better than anyone' my ass!
If someone you fell in love told you he is hurt by seeing your ex - and you will dump him— Cut the crap!!! You saying you will not love anyone more than your ex!
What are you doing on your 'dates'?
You looking at him and crying?
Or you trying to laugh and touch his body parts? What a ridiculous disposition!
click to expand
I'm not sure what is wrong with you. Maybe you haven't had many relationships in your life, or maybe you have yet to grow up, so you can't understand what I'm saying.
Posted by taurusgirl9000Denial is a bliss!Posted by GemitatiThank you for this, um, interesting response. We no longer live in the same country. I moved abroad a few years ago. We do still talk through email and if I do ever go back to where he lives, I expect to have dinner with him and catch up. Even if we were living in the same place still, I would expect to be able to have lunch with him occasionally and communicate with him. If I were dating someone as immature as you, and they showed it by reacting in a way similar to how you've reacted, I would absolutely break up with them. The men that I date have to be secure in themselves and have to trust me. Without trust, there is nothing.Posted by taurusgirl9000That's sick! You clearly not over him'
This woman has a husband and children now. Clearly both people have moved on in their personal lives, but a friendship remains. I would feel a little hurt if the mother had not also been there. To me, that proves this is a simple, platonic connection that he wishes to maintain.
I am close to one of my exes, but we were together for 8 years and he knows me better than anyone. If someone I was dating became insecure and crazy and told me I could no longer talk to him or see him occasionally, I would end the relationship with that person. There is no way I would give up this connection and this person to make a relationship temporarily work with someone that clearly did not trust me.
Try to step back and see this for what it is. Consider if you really trust him, and if not, maybe you need to reconsider your decision to be in a relationship with him.
There is a reason you are EXES!
'He knows me better than anyone' my ass!
If someone you fell in love told you he is hurt by seeing your ex - and you will dump him— Cut the crap!!! You saying you will not love anyone more than your ex!
What are you doing on your 'dates'?
You looking at him and crying?
Or you trying to laugh and touch his body parts? What a ridiculous disposition!
I'm not sure what is wrong with you. Maybe you haven't had many relationships in your life, or maybe you have yet to grow up, so you can't understand what I'm saying.click to expand
Posted by GemitatiPosted by taurusgirl9000Denial is a bliss!Posted by GemitatiThank you for this, um, interesting response. We no longer live in the same country. I moved abroad a few years ago. We do still talk through email and if I do ever go back to where he lives, I expect to have dinner with him and catch up. Even if we were living in the same place still, I would expect to be able to have lunch with him occasionally and communicate with him. If I were dating someone as immature as you, and they showed it by reacting in a way similar to how you've reacted, I would absolutely break up with them. The men that I date have to be secure in themselves and have to trust me. Without trust, there is nothing.Posted by taurusgirl9000That's sick! You clearly not over him'
This woman has a husband and children now. Clearly both people have moved on in their personal lives, but a friendship remains. I would feel a little hurt if the mother had not also been there. To me, that proves this is a simple, platonic connection that he wishes to maintain.
I am close to one of my exes, but we were together for 8 years and he knows me better than anyone. If someone I was dating became insecure and crazy and told me I could no longer talk to him or see him occasionally, I would end the relationship with that person. There is no way I would give up this connection and this person to make a relationship temporarily work with someone that clearly did not trust me.
Try to step back and see this for what it is. Consider if you really trust him, and if not, maybe you need to reconsider your decision to be in a relationship with him.
There is a reason you are EXES!
'He knows me better than anyone' my ass!
If someone you fell in love told you he is hurt by seeing your ex - and you will dump him— Cut the crap!!! You saying you will not love anyone more than your ex!
What are you doing on your 'dates'?
You looking at him and crying?
Or you trying to laugh and touch his body parts? What a ridiculous disposition!
I'm not sure what is wrong with you. Maybe you haven't had many relationships in your life, or maybe you have yet to grow up, so you can't understand what I'm saying.click to expand
Confront him about it... however we don't like public embarrassment. So be a lady about it and wait till you are alone... don't let this slide,
It is not ok for him to not consult you on keeping in touch with the ex and then on top of that having lunch and physical contact. Through the phone is one thing but in person is another. Tauruses are possessive and if the shoes was on the other feet he would've been livid. Don't approach him emotionally do it logically and rationally.
It is not ok for him to not consult you on keeping in touch with the ex and then on top of that having lunch and physical contact. Through the phone is one thing but in person is another. Tauruses are possessive and if the shoes was on the other feet he would've been livid. Don't approach him emotionally do it logically and rationally.
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I was livid, but I had to hold myself back from exploding on him because his brother just died 2 days ago. I just feel like shit. I feel like I'm wasting my time being there for him and his family when he talks to his ex and hides it from me. I know this sounds really immature and selfish but I'm just so hurt. They were together for 4 years (from high school to after high school) and they've been broken up for years, but I still am not ok with the whole situation.
I want to tell him that he needs to choose between us because this is something I'm not gonna tolerate. I just feel selfish for even thinking this. Am I over reacting?? When's a good time to tel him?? I can't do this right now because he's got enough shit to deal with