Advice for my Aries daughter with a Virgo crush

My daughter is dating a guy that I would say is her first serious crush. She's about to turn 17, and has not had any serious boyfriends. She goes to a Performing Arts school (not many boys), and though she has been asked out many times has not found a boy she likes enough to go out with. Well, she likes this one. As a typical Aries, she knew she wanted him from the beginning. She does not ?believe?, but I recently found out that he is a Virgo and I found these boards.

They have been dating for about four weeks now, 2-3 times a week. V-boy is 18 and a senior, and there's no other way to put it, he is beautiful. He also seems to be very nice, very bright, and an upstanding and responsible person. He will be going away to college on a soccer scholarship in the fall, sort of an end date to the relationship I guess, but DD wants him for as long as she can have him. He is already driving her crazy, and I think I have been giving her the wrong advice. I didn't know he is a Virgo, you see!

She's been doing pretty well, actually, and has been remarkably patient for an Aries. He has told her that he likes her, loves her pretty eyes and smile, and that they share a very sarcastic sense of humor. They've had several intense nights of non-stop talking and laughing, but very little physical intimacy. To my great surprise, she tells me the details. It took him three dates to kiss her, and another five dates to kiss her more than once. They spent six hours together last Saturday, just talking and laughing. He is telling her more about himself, and is very affectionate with her in private, he even kissed her once at Ben & Jerry's!

Here's the thing, she suggested the last couple of get togethers. He was quite happy to go along with her ideas, but she is trying to let him suggest the next date. He texts her first every day, and they will exchange texts all day long, less frequently in the evenings when he is busier. There have been days here and there with little or no contact.

She feels she is on a a roller coaster. He seems to like her so much when they are together, then will act as if she is an acquaintance all week until they get together again. She is a little confused as to why he is such a ?gentleman?, though she is fine with it. Any suggestions for her?

Virgo's are dutiful, reliable, trustworthy and solid ... they are also subserviant and accomodating ...

.. their love is reflective .. however she leads, he will follow ... even if it's against his desires or needs ...

They are the Service Sign .. their job is to serve their partners needs in whatever way they can.

He won't lead her, he won't take the initiative ... this is something that will be present his whole life ... to be with a Virgo means you have to be able to take the riegns and guide them because the love they give to their partners can only be mirrored according to what they think you want or need to perform a service to you.

Hope that helps 🙂 Congrats to your daughter on experiencing her first love.

It's just hard for me to believe that this handsome, accomplished young man really wants a girl to run the relationship. He seems to go along when she wants to see him, wouldn't he eventually resent that if there are other things he would rather be doing? Even if it's with her? When he has something planned, like snowboarding, it seems she just doesn't hear from him.

They had one not so great date. She asked him to go with her to a see a mutual friend's band perform last Friday. He said he had something to do and would meet her there. He did, true to his word, but he left early to get some sleep for snowboarding the next day. While they were there, he didn't touch her, just stood by her side and they talked when they could. These were heavy metal bands, lots of screaming. Was this his sort of passive-aggressive way of letting her know that this is something he doesn't enjoy? Not that I blame him, DD doesn't even really like this type of band, and just goes to support her friend. They had their best date ever the next night!

It looks like I need to butt out and let her follow her natural tendencies to go ahead and make the dates!

taurusmom,

If VirBoy is heading off to college, this thing will most likely fizzle out...

In the meantime, he will try to please her, but Virgs also value their own time & activities, and we prefer companions who feel the same way. We're not clingy, and we generally don't want clingy, either.

As a teenager, I preferred more casual relationships with girls -- it seemed simpler, and made more sense to me. The VirBoy seems to be the same way: "He seems to like her so much when they are together, then will act as if she is an acquaintance all week until they get together again." I also tended to date girls from other schools, so there was no drama during the school week!

I really wouldn't sweat this thing. Astrologically, Aries + Virgo isn't a long term relationship. The only A + V couple I know didn't meet and marry until they were in their 30's (second marriages for both of them). They're an amazing couple now, but in their teens, I believe it would've been a different story...

"It's just hard for me to believe that this handsome, accomplished young man really wants a girl to run the relationship."


I'm having difficulty wrapping this around my mind, actually .. what does someones looks, or accomplishments have to do with it?

"He seems to go along when she wants to see him, wouldn't he eventually resent that if there are other things he would rather be doing?"

Yeah .. eventually. In the beginning of a relationship, the Virgo just goes along and doesn't rock any boats. However, after s/he's settled in and has become comfortable .. the passive/agressiveness starts to present itself.

They are notorius for being fussy and critical with their partners .. extremely picky and perfectionist about how they want their life to be lead for them. Not necessarily domineering, rather, crotchety/grumpy.

For example: My Virgo husband won't come right out and TELL me what he wants me to do to make his life for him .. but, then when it's not going the way he wants it to be, he'll get whinny.

When he starts getting fussy and whimpers .. this is an indication to me that something is setting right with him. So, I have to figure it out through trial and error .. when he stops critiquing through this fussiness, then I know I fixed whatever was not right for him.

"When he has something planned, like snowboarding, it seems she just doesn't hear from him."


This is normal for a Virgo .. they aren't real good communicators. Ironically, their Ruling Planet is Mercury, which makes little sense to me. It's weird .. because they are actually pretty good at expressing themselves, much as their planet predicts .. however, I think this lack of communication isn't about that they can't do it .. it's more like because they are service oriented, they would rather not inconvenience the other through this communicating, so it's better to not do it at all.

For instance: If he had plans to go snowboarding with his friends, which didn't include her .. then it would be better for him to NOT communicate this to her, than to discuss it and have her get upset because his plans didn't involve her.

See what I mean?

That was the first thought in my mind, too, archer when I read this post.

And could very well be ....

Not sure what the references to DD are, I picked that up on another board I frequent. The point about her going to another school and keeping it casual makes sense, though. And he certainly seems to value his space. I will continue to urge her maintain her friends etc., and protect her heart. Thanks.

And I have to say, this Virgo underestimates get my daughter. He just informed her tonight, by text, that he's going to be out of town over this upcoming long weekend, including Valentine's Day. She was a little disappointed, but she texted him back and told him to have a great time. I don't think she will let him know if he upsets her.

That sounds pretty reasonable, archer ... we all have to live and learn our lessons. This is her first love, and quite Frankly, it being with a Virgo is probably the best thing that could happen to her, especially since Aries (young ones) have a difficult time in learning patience and tolerance .. Virgo would give her a good dose of this that she could carry on for the rest of her life.

I think she wants him for herself.. you know...lmao..!

LOL yes, if I were a teen, I'd be crushing on this guy too. Like daughter, like mother?

I don't have any objections to this guy. On the contrary, I'd be delighted and thrilled if he became her "type". He's smart, ambitious, talented and dedicated to something, responsible (works and pays for his car, etc), doesn't drink, do drugs, and isn't promiscuous. Either that, or he's got my daughter fooled. He's a parent's dream, really. I will admit I don't want her to have her heart broken in her first real romantic adventure, she's my baby after all. And I kind of hope that the next guy she dates is a lot like him, but maybe not prettier than her and a bit more attentive. I do realize that I don't really have a say in the matter. She does like pretty boys.

Just trying to give her some insight into V-guys seemingly random behavior. I think it helped, so thanks.

Probably the best thing I got out of this is my visit to the Aries board. I learned some things that maybe will help my relationship with her. And I warned her that if this thing with V-guy does turn into a relationship, she may eventually find herself in a fight with him screaming "you're just like my Mother!".

That's a curious thing to say .... rarely, have I read posts on the Aries board that say things to suggest a fight between these two signs and being like a mother .. and I read most of them.

Pretty much the only person who fights over there is DD and I don't recall her CapMan accusing her of being like his mother, on any board.

Some things you say sound very suspect to me .....

Well, I read that Virgo men try to perfect their women with some constructive criticism, did I read wrong? I'm trying to quit cold turkey, but my daughter recently told me in no uncertain terms that my
well intended constructive criticism drives her crazy. I just learned that Aries can't stand it! I would assume she wouldn't take it kindly from a boyfriend either. I was trying to be humurous, sorry if it fell flat.

P-Angel, your point about her learning patience in this fist relationship is a good one. She does tend to dive in head first, maybe she will take a bit more of a "sit back and see how it develops" approach in the future too. Or maybe not.

I know it sounds like I'm a helicopter mom. And I have been, she needed me to be when she was younger. She is doing a good job of becoming independent lately, but she asked my advice about this boy. Finding out he was a Virgo, and doing a search on the internet for Aries woman, Virgo man led me here. Maybe that was a mistake.

Ack! Is there any way to edit a post? I can't stand typos!

No, it's not a mistake .. there is a lot of information to be gained in here in regards to astrological signs and how thier traits interact with others.

It's just too coincidental in the things you say .... and I'm certain that I'm not the only person in here who is sitting back pondering these similarities .....



"my well intended constructive criticism drives her crazy. I just learned that Aries can't stand it!"

How long did you say you have been DD's mother?

OK, I'll bite. What is it you suspect me of?

And I've been her mom 17 years. I'm doing better than my mom did, at least we still have a relationship. Not a perfect one, but at least I can learn.

Actually, no need to answer that. It's OK, I'll be gone.

I did notice when reading the posts here that the same people are posting over and over. Perhaps this is because when someone new posts, they get a little help, but more criticism and innuendo. Tends to make them not come back.

I was thinking about heading over to the Taurus boards and participating, but it's no doubt more of the same.

Not really .. not unless someone picks up on the similarities ...

Actually, Taurus women on that board are really cool and sweet.


Here's just something to leave you with to ponder ...

I have an 11 month old Aries Granddaughter .... and we all knew when she was around 2 months old and INSISTED on holding her bottle HER WAY, and absolutely REFUSED to take any kind of constructive criticism from any of us trying to show her the best way to hold her bottle .... that this was going to be something that drove her crazy.

2 months old ......

and we all knew when she was around 2 months old and INSISTED on holding her bottle HER WAY, and absolutely REFUSED to take any kind of constructive criticism from any of us trying to show her the best way to hold her bottle ....

Two months old and being pushed around by the crazy parents just to holding an stupid bottle..?? which way is right? Your way or the way the baby is comfortable with..??

And the subject in this post is a young Aries lady and her affair with a Virgo dude..!?

Blah?.


Pee angel.. Please do shut up and stop advising people on the Virgo subject, its not the first time that I telling you this.




To taurusmom, I ?was? married once with an Aries woman in 11 years and my son also born in Aries, noting goes wrong with Aries/Virgo until you want them to be.

I know how control freaks Taurusian's are (my old mum is a fine example of this), archer have said something precious earlier, stop meddling with these young people affair, it'll be what is meant to be, right..??

Forcing the Aries born people is futile and could cause a lot of distress.

Q .. get with the program already ... if you have the ability to keep up .... the author of this thread isn't a Taurus ...

taurusmom..??

The subject in this thread is important... (Aries and Virgo)... who cares about the Author..??


Then again, why would the ?author? call herself Taurusmom while she is not (according to you)..??

Do I still need to keep up..??

Hey P---you wrote

"Virgo's are dutiful, reliable, trustworthy and solid ... they are also subserviant and accomodating "

I am anything BUT those things. In fact, I prefer making the decisions and taking the lead as I do not trust anyone else to do a lot of those things. My natural lower opinion of other peoples abilities should be evident enough.

Subservient? Hardly. In fact I have been accused over the years of being the opposite. Pisces more fit that role than Virgos do, however a Fish needs to simply THINK they are in control, even when it is obvious they rarely are.