Advice please on a Virgo Male.

Hello everyone, I am new to the forum. Here is my situation.

So I am dating a Virgo guy, and I haven't heard from him in over a week. We talked online last Monday, and I called him and left a message last Wednesday. Just a simple "Calling to say hi, give me a call back" kind of thing. He never called me back, and I haven't heard from him at all. I know that he has had some recent setbacks in his life, and is stressed about that. At the same time, I don't like to be left hanging, and prefer a direct approach. I like to keep an open communication line in my relationships. So as a final effort last night, I text him "Seriously, what's going on? Haven't heard from you in a while. I feel like there is a disconnect at the moment. Let me know what's up." I don't think that was an out of line kind of text to send. Never heard back from him. At the moment, he is on the west coast, and I am on the east coast. He will be here in 2 weeks. I'm not going to contact him again. Now I'm not sure what to do if he does contact me. Why would he be doing this? Advice please regarding an elusive virgo male. Thank you.

Posted by ScorpieGrl
Hello everyone, I am new to the forum. Here is my situation.

So I am dating a Virgo guy, and I haven't heard from him in over a week. We talked online last Monday, and I called him and left a message last Wednesday. Just a simple "Calling to say hi, give me a call back" kind of thing. He never called me back, and I haven't heard from him at all. I know that he has had some recent setbacks in his life, and is stressed about that. At the same time, I don't like to be left hanging, and prefer a direct approach. I like to keep an open communication line in my relationships. So as a final effort last night, I text him "Seriously, what's going on? Haven't heard from you in a while. I feel like there is a disconnect at the moment. Let me know what's up." I don't think that was an out of line kind of text to send. Never heard back from him. At the moment, he is on the west coast, and I am on the east coast. He will be here in 2 weeks. I'm not going to contact him again. Now I'm not sure what to do if he does contact me. Why would he be doing this? Advice please regarding an elusive virgo male. Thank you.

Lady, I'm not even a scorpio and I know what you mean. And get this, they have the nerve to get upset when you move on with someone else. Its like they give you the whole, 'Why didn't you wait' mumbo jumbo.

Yep, I know. Its like when they get so involved with themselves, they forget about all the outliners.

I myself try not to take it to heart too much because when I get in my 'element' I totally for to call people and that can go on for weeks.

Lol! He's definitely alive/conscious. I saw him online yesterday, not that he messaged me or anything, but he did have the time to update his profile. I reasoned not to call him because he didn't answer the phone last week, and never returned my call, then why would I want to continue my relationship with his voicemail? Thanks though.

Point taken. Yes, it is inexcusable. Yeah, after not hearing from him at all, at this point I feel I'm pretty much done. I just like closure and I wanted to see what people's insights were.

Thanks Shaks 🙂

Is this a romance you guys call it nowadays? What happened to the compassion and patience? Knowing that he had some setbacks lately but you still saying that I called him and he didn't called me back and I want to move on because I don't like to be left hanging ??_!

Left hanging where exactly.? Don't you have a life to live? Give the man some space to clean up his own mess in his own pace instead of being forceful.

I don't like to be left hanging, huh.. well go ahead damnit, lovers like you deserve such behaviour.

I completely agree with Shaks. It would be completeluy different if he would have answered ONE of her calls or texts and simply told her that he is going through some things right now and it is not a good time for him to talk. If that were to be the case, then I would advice giving him his space and time. But ignoring her is rude and inconsiderate. We all go through things and sometimes need space and that is pefectly understandable. But we tell our love ones that we might be a little scarce, we dont just ignore them.

That's what I meant, these people complaining about their relationship are STEREOTYPES, instead of looking inward always looking outward, always someone else to be blamed.

Do you think that this guy is so na??ve that updating his profile somewhere without knowing that someone else keeps an eye on his activities like a stalker?

I am sure that she is not as innocent as she claim to be, somewhere somehow she did or said something that caused this.

natural25,

That is exactly how I feel about my situation at the present. Had he text or email, or IM'd me saying "sorry, I've had a lot going on, can't talk right now...blah blah blah" I would certainly have understood and shown compassion, and patience, and support for his situation. When he told me about some of the earlier setbacks he had go on recently in his life, I listened and was very understanding. But to totally disconnect is inexcusable. Especially in the 21st century. He has a cell phone, and a computer, it really is just rude.

Q, it is not about blame. It is about treating people with respect. It is simple as that. Even if Scorpie did something to push him away or turn him off, he should have found an alternate way to communicate with her that he does not want to talk. Whether he does not want to talk to her for just a few weeks or ever again. That is the issue. Furthermore, we cannot say that HE or SHE did anything. It could be just as simple as him not having the time to have a relationship, or not being compatiable. The list goes on and on. That is not what is being discussed. What is being discussed is why he is ignoring her and not being upfront with her about whatever the situation is....his fault, her fault, whatever it is.

Q-

LOL! I am far from a stalker! It's Facebook. You can see when friends are available to chat, as well as view their profiles, no crazy stalking required. I really don't believe I did anything to cause this current disconnect, as of 2 weeks ago he was looking forward to coming out east and seeing me. If I did do something to upset him, which I very likely doubt, why not just be open and call me out on it? I'm a grown woman. I can handle it. I'm not complaining about my situation either, really more trying to process what's going on from a Virgo point of view. I'm more confused than anything else. Thank you for your input though, it is appreciated.

oh brother ...

"That is exactly how I feel about my situation at the present. Had he text or email, or IM'd me saying "sorry, I've had a lot going on, can't talk right now...blah blah blah" I would certainly have understood and shown compassion, and patience, and support for his situation. When he told me about some of the earlier setbacks he had go on recently in his life, I listened and was very understanding. But to totally disconnect is inexcusable. Especially in the 21st century. He has a cell phone, and a computer, it really is just rude."

I completely understand what you are saying. I also agree with Shaks that this is more of an issue about the differences between how men and women communicate. I think a lot of men (not all) will avoid the slightest chance of conflict at all costs. So, if IF he does need space or does want to discontinue the relationship altogether he probably did not want to deal with a possible conflict. Little does he know, you would have respected whatever he said and there would be no conflict. These men.... lol.

natural-

Exactly.

Maybe he just updated his profile but didn't feel talking to anyone. The advice to be patient is very good advice. He will call. Either that or he's avoiding you my virgo friends are horrible at breaking up with people and just stop communication with their partners hoping they will get the point. Another thing is those same friends will speak with that person again when they are ready to be "friends". So either way you'll hear from him. lol

I'm thinking if you 2 are meeting in August for the first time he's creating distance as to not get attached to any particular outcome so if he doesn't speak to you until the actual day of the meet he won't have many expectations and it won't sting to walk away from a woman he may not feel any attraction for. Plus women show there insecurities when a man pulls away as you have done, too many women are needing too much connection/intimacy with men which makes a woman feel codependent and needy, try not reaching out to him for awhile because right now your coming off as needy with hey were are you, what's up WHO CARES, leave him alone, once he feels the pull of you not being there he will come out of his man cave.

He got your first text and phone call, don't hassle the man as if he has forgot about you, he hasn't forgot about you, he's just living his life, paying bills, catching up with new and old friends, living in his man cave and beating his chest and wagging his tongue at other women. He committed himself to meet with you, leave it be. Make some time to chat with your other male friends and catch up with girlfriends, grab some lunch, go out on a date, do something that makes you feel complete other then wondering why this fool is not calling.

We are not meeting for the first time. We dated for several months, live and in person. He was very consistent, sincere, and attentive. He has been on the west coast for the past 2 months, we agreed not to see other ppl, and have kept in pretty regular contact. I have been keeping busy with my friends, and working, going out to parties, cookouts, beach, the usual summer stuff, etc... that's why it's peculiar. I guess I'll just wait and see what happens, if anything.

I'm falling short today, total loss of focus....He's deliberately avoiding you? Hmmmm I'm a hard ass only because I been here and there and done that, he's not ready to connect which is fine but I personally would not take a man seriously that deliberately ignored me and I have said it to there face, I have made a vow to myself that any man that I'm dating exclusively drops off the face of the planet well he gets dropped, works for me. It's not a good sign when they blow hot and cold like that, his commitment phobia is rearing his head, leave him alone, he will be back but you better nip that shizz in the bud or forever be dealing with his hot and cold crappy behavior.

I would dump him *shrugs*

Lol @ tiki. Very true.

I agree with tiki. If he's not showing you respect now... It might be a lost cause.

Hmmmm if he can go online and update profiles and he's made himself visible to "chat" via Facebook then he has time to text/call/email yada yada.

I had the same situation, well similar......I would ask if the guy could meet me for lunch which of course he never did because he was sooooo busy but low and behold he would go out with his "gang" from work for 1&1/2 hours to the same eatery he went to everyday...this went on for ages and ages until I finally had enough.

One day he even asked if Id like to do lunch the next day and then there I was waiting for him (didnt dare chat to him during the morning coz again he'd been soooo busy) and the lunchbreak had been and gone and where was he? at lunch with the "gang"....he totally forgot.....there we were supposedly in a 'relationship'

Pfftttt....the guy is avoiding you.....you need to move on and forget his dumb ass.....he's playing you!!! Best way to go about it is just not contact him at all, he doesnt deserve the money it costs for even a text LOL........ignore works really well 🙂