Dilemma with Virgo guy

I have been reading these message boards trying to understand the guy I have been seeing, and many thanks to all of you who have posted your experiences. I am hoping for some advice on this enigmatic guy! This has truly been the weirdest dating experience of my life!

He's Virgo, I'm Capricorn on the cusp with Sagittarius, both in our 30s. We met a couple of months ago and both felt a spark, though it took him ten days to call me after that to ask me to go on our first date. We went out a few times, really good dates, texting and talking on the phone other times. Then, he didn't show up for a date. A week went by, and then he finally contacted me to tell me that he had been in the hospital. This is really one of the only excuses for not showing that is acceptable, though I wish he had not waited a week to let me know what had happened. In any case, we sorted that out and spent a lot of time talking, texting, etc, over the next week while he recovered. Then he invited me to his place for dinner. It was a lovely evening, and we got physical for the first time. He left the next day to go on a holiday for four days with the guys. I sent him a few texts over the course of the week, and left him a voice message on Friday. And I have not heard from him since. It's been ten days now since our last evening together, and I have not contacted him in any way in five days.

I don't know if I should just let it go and trust that he will call me, or if I should call him, or if I should just delete his number and forget he exists. When we have been together or are talking/texting, it's great, and he asks me questions that seem to indicate more than a passing interest (wanted to make sure I'm comfortable with the kind of work he does as it is dangerous, wants to know what I think of his home, etc). I'm wondering if this is just his way of ending it quietly or what? This just seems so out of kilter with how he is when we're together that I can't make sense of it.

Help!

Lol.. its not much consolation.. but overanalyzing isnt either
~~Watever's meant to be will be~~
If he wants u.. im sure he knows where to find u and if u still want him u will receive him

From what I read it sounds like he got what he wanted so now he is done. I guess only time will tell. There could be a good reason why he hasn't contacted you or it could be just the Male Virgo trait of where they pull back and regroup. Let him come to you otherwise I would leave him alone. Good Luck.

I've also been reading a lot about Virgos and there is one piece of advice that seems to be given over and over again. Why is it that the girl has to wait until Virgo makes up his mind or when he's ready he'll get back to you? I've read some girls wait weeks or they never hear from their Virgo ever again. I'm very curious about this. Can anyone explain it?

its not so much as a catering to virgos as it is virgos necessity for space to be in right mind.. some dont need that much space and prefer close quarters dealing with matters..though virgos are mutable as am I so its really a person to person condition.. some react without the space they want or need..others refuse nething BUT it..for even an inkling of a response..This is not exclusive to Virgos as it is those who are fairly self absorbed..thats not an insult.. its an awareness...virgos seem to project this more so its taken in the wrong context by either the emotionally immature, unresponse or unreceptive partner,associate, whatever..but my point.. its less virgo trait as it belongs to everyone outside Star sign logic..

Thanks, guys. Glad you like the name, Dy! It's not the casual sex thing, as I said we got physical (beyond just kissing), but did not have sex. He did just go back to work this week after three weeks off, so perhaps that it. Honestly, I was just trying to be patient and understand it, but if he wants me to know what's going on, it's up to him to pick up the phone and tell me. Meanwhile, I have a life to live!

Okay, mystery solved. Apparently, Virgoboy had an sort of ex-girlfriend lurking around who wants to move in together. He isn't sure he's ready for that (especially because she has a kid and he doesn't want kids), they broke up, he met me, we dated for a month and a half, and then she turned back up (presumably because she found out he had been ill). And now they are trying to work it out.

I don't know about you guys, but my experience has been that once any relationship starts the "breakup, get back together" cycle, it is almost certainly doomed, especially when a guy spends the time during the breakup dating other women (not just flirting or one-night stands but actual real dating).

ughh sometimes relationships and all their complexities just make me ILL!

my advice is just have fun. this guy does NOT sound fun. or worth your time, at this point in time...occupy your time with something else...

rhiannon:

Sorry that you went through that. You deserve better and if he could do that to you and expect to get back together with you I would watch out.

It's been a while, but then, we are dealing with a Virgo man. Weirdness continues. He turned up again in late May, then disappeared again. I basically wrote him off. Then, after over a month, I get a text from him. Seriously, I thought I was hallucinating. We talked on the phone over the weekend, and he wants to see me on Saturday. He's finally sorted out the ex, I suppose, and she is gone for good. I want to see him, but am more than a bit hesitant about letting him back into my life. On the one hand, I am glad he sorted out his baggage before getting too involved with me, but on the other, I am annoyed that he vanished for so long. I guess we'll see what happens

Patience, patience, patience and more patience. It moves so slow with a Virgo man that sometmes it feels as if you are going backwards. I see the virgo man I met 6 onths ago so little that whenever i do see him I get nervous and feel like I have to get to know him again. It's one step forward two steps back. I havent seen him for - well, I lost count, over a month, or spoken to him in 3 weeks! then I gave in, texted him and he replies as if nothing is up. He is so weird. Friends tell me 'I can do better' but I don't care, I am seriously attracted to him in a deep way and this is a rare feeling for me. Plus, of course, I wanna figure him out. Damn Virgos! he is such a dick, and I'm an idiot, but I accept that! I ain't gonna change anytime soon.

I know what you mean about it being great when together, but a nightmare when apart. I always feel 100% reassured when with him but after a week of no messages from him I get upset again. That is why it is so confusing, coz they are so sweet and respectful and curious about you that you are bowled over and can't believe that they could be a cad. I need to hear from someone who has experienced this and has had a happy ending with a virgo man. Not read any positive stories on here yet... shame.
If only I could be a virgo man for a day... wow.

Okay, here goes...
I might not have an ultimate solution for every women dating a virgo man, but so far it's going quite well with me. This is what I do... I usually have many projects going on and very busy with school, work, etc. I ask him for help. They love to help. Especially with things that you're confused on. I ask him to help me think about my projects, important decisions I need to make, weigh out the pros and cons, disect the minute (small) details and analyze situations. Most virgos like the behind the stage work. Secondly, I am very honest with him but I don't come out directly and tell him my feelings. I tell him that he is a kind person. I tell him that he is the most useful and helpful person that I've ever met. I tell him that he is charming, nice, polite, caring, and perceptive. I use words that are friendly yet meaningful. Don't come out and say you're in love with him or anything, it will just scare the crap out of him, and he'll dissapear...If you decide to call him, don't leave a message (they hate NOT KNOWING why you called) and will call you back to find out. Or if you do leave a message say "I have something I need you to help me figure out, thanks and I'll talk to you soon". When he calls back, go from there, and don't call too often (it will annoy him). Make him feel that he plays an important PART in your life. Virgos are not ego freaks, therefore they just want to be a part of it. Because virgos REQUIRE an adequate amount of space in their lives to stay sane, they will give you plenty of it as well. Do not act out the fairytale that you so desperately want to live in with him. The more time you give him to "think it through" without bothering him about it, the deeper and more elaborate will be his own fairytale that he dreams out when he is without you. They like to sit behind the tinted window and observe you. Go about your own life and let him watch. Show him that he is more than welcome to be PART of it......THIS IS NOT A GAME (games are not good)...this is a compromise. GOOD LUCK to all you lucky ladies that have met a virgo man...

arieswoman: how long have you been dating your virgo? how does he show his feelings? I'm guessing he doesn't talk about it easily. Mine appears to put on a front, but when I spend extended time with him he shows his soft side, but still never says how he feels. Doesn't barely acknowledge anything is happening between us. Then I think 'did I imagine this person?!' esp if I ain't seen him for a month.

Piscesdreamer,

Since May, not long. He shows his feelings not by buying me flowers and showering me with gifts and drooling over me. He calls to remind me of things that I have to do like..."don't forget to eat", "make sure you get some sleep", or "did you remember to call your professor?" From those little "friendly" gestures, I can tell that he cares. It's not that they don't have any feelings, they just show it in very subtle ways and they expect you to be just as perceptive as they are and read between the lines. Sometimes feelings don't neccesarily have to expressed verbally...sometimes when you look deep into his clear calm eyes, you can see what he really feels inside.

1. Sept 3rd (right dab smack in the middle)
2. Known him for about 7 months, we met at my part time job, he told someone else to tell me that he likes me (kinda silly huh?)
3. He's quiet but not too quiet, doesn't like work drama, but very polite. Jokes a little. Flirting? I'm not sure if he knows how.
4. Yes, he's more shy around me. I think I give him the twitches, he blinks alot more and stutters a bit when I talk to him.
5. He's a musician and performer studying to be a teacher, so I don't think he's insecure, but I don't know what his childhood was like, maybe I should find out.
6. He's 26, and I just turned 30

Yes, we still work together. I see him at work maybe once a week. Most of the time we talk on the phone for a looooong time. I didn't know he was interested at all when I first met him almost 8 months ago, apparently he had already told that other person to tell me about 2 months after we met, but not until about 4 months later did he get the courage to ask if I had spoken with the other person. This 3rd person is extremely shy so he didn't get the courage to tell me that his friend likes me. I don't even remember if his friend told me first or if he asked me if his friend had talked to me first. It was a little confusing. I had no interest in him at first, never paid any attention to him and I would have never guessed that he was interested. Never flirted with me or anything, always just soooo polite. Yes he knows that I'm older than he is, I don't think it really bothers him. We're both the thinking-type of people so I guess that's where the attraction for him on my part came along. I looooove talking to him. We like to do useful things together, like projects, shopping, eating, homework, etc.

I understand, it's very difficult to have a relationship with someone that you work with. Or at least a normal one (without the drama and all the nonsense that comes with it). It's kind of a little easier for us at work because we see very little of each other AT work and more outside of work. Virgos, like everyone on this forum describes, are slow to start and not very voiceful with their emotions. My approach to him is to let him know that I already know he has feelings for me (whether I really know it or not). And from this assumption that you show him, he will confirm it in his own subtle way. It may not be verbally, but you'll be able to tell if you pay close attention. I usually do some light flirting with him and let him know that it's ok to respond. They like to know that they can trust you. Be completely honest with them, but don't come on too strong (like matrimony or living together). They'll freak out. Virgos require someone that can do a balancing act...let them know you care but at the same time show them that there is always more of you they need to learn about. And I think from this strategy, you can keep one for life. Again, NO GAMES, NO SECRETS, just subtle truths.