skeptic85
@skeptic85
10 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 18 · Topics: 2
Gemini Gal having Isssssuuuues with this Virgo....
----cont...me...And furthermore...it bothers me SO much...that he ignored me attempts to rectify the situation and explain myself. His assumption about my feelings were wrong. So when I go to correct them, he ignores me? Is that how we do things? We are 30 for Goodness sake...
I get the personality thing, I get the space thing, like I said, I have an older brother who is exactly like this and I know you guys are different than I am....
But I have been an open book. I have been open with my feelings from day one. I have been upfront and vulnerable. He has no reason to feel uncomfortable. Now, if theres something else going on, like hes judging me on something, like my apartment, or my status, or my organizational skills or something like that, that's one thing. But the impression I get is he's running from his feelings for me. And I am NOT trying to stroke my own ego here, but whenever he seems spend a night with me where hes seemed to give to much, he yanks it back by ignoring me and being short with me. And every single time Ive hung out with him, in hindsight, hes texted me something from his car that he was too (who knows what) to say to my face
I get the personality thing, I get the space thing, like I said, I have an older brother who is exactly like this and I know you guys are different than I am....
But I have been an open book. I have been open with my feelings from day one. I have been upfront and vulnerable. He has no reason to feel uncomfortable. Now, if theres something else going on, like hes judging me on something, like my apartment, or my status, or my organizational skills or something like that, that's one thing. But the impression I get is he's running from his feelings for me. And I am NOT trying to stroke my own ego here, but whenever he seems spend a night with me where hes seemed to give to much, he yanks it back by ignoring me and being short with me. And every single time Ive hung out with him, in hindsight, hes texted me something from his car that he was too (who knows what) to say to my face
Thank you LADIES lol.... Sheesh I feel like I'm taking crazy pills over here.... I dont think he's a bad guy either I just think he's determined to control the situation and I'm not going to let him fully control the situation. And you're right, he really has not given any, at least verbal, input or inquiry into what I want or need. It sucks. And my personality is naturally kinda just happy and wanting to help so I'm just like dude, how can I help you.... But I'm seeing with someone like this, that can be a dangerous thing. Cuz he'll just be mean. When he was at my place, it took him like 4 tries to say the same thing in a nice way---and we were kind of playing around, but I was definitely taking note of it... it's definitely his way or the highway right now.
Posted by Layna
I don't agree with virgorillaa (sorry). I personally see a lot of red flags.
He IS frustrating, trying to push and push while you clearly are hesitant and want to talk about certain things.
Him "trusting" you enough to tell you his whole life story + very personal things? Bull. It was on the first date! There was no trust built - he simply wanted to blurt it all out.
Needing lots of space: No. This guy is clingy as hell, and being all hot and cold because he is very emotional and needy. Giving the cold shoulder IS negative reinforcement - if he does it enough, OP can feel insecure and give in when she shouldn't. He also eems to always want things his way, while never really giving thought to what OP wants. He ignores when he wants to, but gets all worked up when it happens to him. Seriously?
I'm not saying he is a bad guy. Just probably that both of you can't handle each other. If you're around 30, don't waste your time trying to "fix" someone. That wastes time and has no guarantee. Instead, I'd end things with him and look for others because there are guys out there that you won't have to deal all this with.
^^^Yup
Posted by Impulsv
No need to
Hang on n there because u have invested time it ok to release a negetative relationship. If he has trust issues he is not ready for a relationship in will always make u Paulo
Thank ur blessings he's showing u this.
He is overly sensitive because u trigger his issues u don't have to pay for the sins of others exes. He needs to grow up n deal before getting into relationships.
If he can't accept ur pace n respect that he's showing u its his way or the high way n that's not a mature way to be in a relationship.
I say run he's not ready himself
I know so sad but I'm starting to feel that way 😢
Posted by skeptic85
He was very talkative and told me his whole life story first date.
... he could not have children...
*We are both around 30 years old so this is kind of devastating*
... we got along great but that was HUGE for me.
We are both adopted so I know he understands how important it would be for us to have our own.
You carry on for 4 wot, with intentions of calling out his bad behavior to us so that you can get validation for you to continue to chase after, and manipulate this man.
You list out the bullshit he does and says ... and then talk about how you run to him at his bidding.
The quote above is the tell ... first date and you express devastation over something he said. That means that the person playing games is you.
The other tell is that you got his dick hard twice, then pushed him away to play innocent.
You're not fooling me for a second.
Posted by P-AngelPosted by skeptic85
He was very talkative and told me his whole life story first date.
... he could not have children...
*We are both around 30 years old so this is kind of devastating*
... we got along great but that was HUGE for me.
We are both adopted so I know he understands how important it would be for us to have our own.
You carry on for 4 wot, with intentions of calling out his bad behavior to us so that you can get validation for you to continue to chase after, and manipulate this man.
You list out the bullshit he does and says ... and then talk about how you run to him at his bidding.
The quote above is the tell ... first date and you express devastation over something he said. That means that the person playing games is you.
The other tell is that you got his dick hard twice, then pushed him away to play innocent.
You're not fooling me for a second.click to expand
I'm manipulating him and asking for validation from you all. That's a fascinating point of view P-Angel and I will take it into account.... First of all, who said I jumped onto his dick....you dont know who started it, so stop assuming. 2nd of all, that is devastating, why is it devastating, because HE TOLD ME HE WAS DEVASTATED ABOUT IT. So get over yourself. my guess would be that you do a lot of what he does and don't see what's wrong with it, which is why you're lashing out at me right now. Relax. I wouldn't be here, if I wasn't trying to find a way to work it out with this dude. I don't like feeling like I never know what's gonna set him off or offend him. NO one likes walking on egg shells.
Manipulate, wow. Unbelievable haha, I needed a laugh this morning.
how am I playing, please explain...
Posted by virgorillaa
dear @skeptic85
when i read what you've posted i thought you didnt show commitment , you know we only judge what we see. you should have put more info about it, sorry for offending you!
anyway, i think that he need to chill and for you if you are willing to work on it, then do it, it might take some time though.
good luck
Naw it's okay you didn't offend.
I've definitely decided he's not treating me right though. I've gone over the texts and the convos and bottom line, he just treats me with far less respect than I treat him. Someone pointed out to me how would he react if when he talked to me, I didn't respond for a week? Or if after an intimate night, I pulled away for days? Or I got mad unexpectedly here and there all the time and left him to guess what he did to upset me? This sucks. And hurts. And is messed up. I apologized for teasing. I told him I'm "ready". I've covered all the bases, and been as open and flexible as possible while maintaining my own self respect and standards. I'm sorry he's been hurt, but I'm not her...
Posted by skeptic85
who oddly enough instantly reminded me of my older brother; same egg head job, same attention to detail, same condescending tone, and oh snap..how funny, there birthdays are 5 days apart, and they are VIRGOS.
yikes.
^So this guy never had a chance to begin with.
Posted by DamnataPosted by skeptic85
who oddly enough instantly reminded me of my older brother; same egg head job, same attention to detail, same condescending tone, and oh snap..how funny, there birthdays are 5 days apart, and they are VIRGOS.
yikes.
^So this guy never had a chance to begin with.click to expand
Lol absolutely fair point-------- but yes he did. Believe it or not I say all of that endearingly. My brother is an engineer and I am insanely proud of him. The attention to detail is a little OCD but cute and helpful honestly, the condescending tone, no I don't love but honestly him reminding me of my brother is what helped us click. I felt like I had known him for years.
This is interesting though, because I feel basically what I'm getting from the Virgo blog is ignoring is okay, apologies will be ignored, mixed signals should be expected, hot and cold should be expected, and although I'm being very open and clear about what I want and he's being silent, and then popping in, drowning me in love, and then going silent, I'm playing...games? I'm completely lost.
This is interesting though, because I feel basically what I'm getting from the Virgo blog is ignoring is okay, apologies will be ignored, mixed signals should be expected, hot and cold should be expected, and although I'm being very open and clear about what I want and he's being silent, and then popping in, drowning me in love, and then going silent, I'm playing...games?
Im having a deja vu here.
So, when people point out to you the error of your ways ... you go hide your shit and pretend like you didn't fuck up?
What other reason do you have for hiding this thread?
So, let me guess ..... you wanted specific input coming to you on this, which means exactly what I said - you're looking for validation.
You list out a massive 7500 character list/examples of why/how this guy is a loser ... then tell us that you want him, you want to be treated like a piece of shit, and come here to ask us how to get him to want you.
Were you dropped on your head as a baby? Why in the world would any person give credit to an asshole?
That means something is wrong with YOU. But, you're gonna refuse to acknowledge that, aren't you? You're going to continue to believe that being second-rate is your self worth.
British much?
According to what you said (which, like a coward, you hid) .... twice you made out with him, even until 2am one night, getting him horny.
then said, "nope not happening" and in your own words, "left him frustrated"
That makes you a dick tease.
so, really I suppose you deserve the way he treated you. Afterall, people actually get what they deserve. They may think they deserve better ... but, if you look at their actions, it's clear that they are getting just reward for what they did.
He treats you like shit ... and you treat him like shit. tit for tat
@skeptic85
I am a Gemini woman dating a Virgo mN. We are in our 30's. As gemini's we have a tendency to honestly read into things too much and incorrectly at times. Then we just kinda jump to conclusions.
My Virgo guy is, well, all Virgo! He's hot and cold, talkative then quiet, present then absent. It's just the way they are. I had to learn to just sit back and wait at times for him to do what he needed to do, then come to me.
It doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't want you, or he isn't listening. He is an internalizer and a thinker. An analyzer by nature. You gotta let him talk. And listen. Then when you talk- you can bet he is hearing you. He's just holding back because he has to figure out what's what.
My Virgo told me so much about him from the jump. He shared, I shared. He was excited and happy and an awesome conversationalist. He grounded me. We are both busy people, have kids from previous relationships, and are going through our own stuff.
He's not playing with you. He is just being him. And some virgos are sensitive and can get their feelings hurt easy. It's not easy for them to be so open as it comes so naturally To us Gemini. So, by hesitating and not answering general questions, you might have scared him a bit.
Just let everything run its course. Don't think so much about it. Go about your day. Whatever will be, will be. Many blessings!
I am a Gemini woman dating a Virgo mN. We are in our 30's. As gemini's we have a tendency to honestly read into things too much and incorrectly at times. Then we just kinda jump to conclusions.
My Virgo guy is, well, all Virgo! He's hot and cold, talkative then quiet, present then absent. It's just the way they are. I had to learn to just sit back and wait at times for him to do what he needed to do, then come to me.
It doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't want you, or he isn't listening. He is an internalizer and a thinker. An analyzer by nature. You gotta let him talk. And listen. Then when you talk- you can bet he is hearing you. He's just holding back because he has to figure out what's what.
My Virgo told me so much about him from the jump. He shared, I shared. He was excited and happy and an awesome conversationalist. He grounded me. We are both busy people, have kids from previous relationships, and are going through our own stuff.
He's not playing with you. He is just being him. And some virgos are sensitive and can get their feelings hurt easy. It's not easy for them to be so open as it comes so naturally To us Gemini. So, by hesitating and not answering general questions, you might have scared him a bit.
Just let everything run its course. Don't think so much about it. Go about your day. Whatever will be, will be. Many blessings!
My guy did same. After a fantastic day together, he goes home texts me a kiss and disappears for days . I still stayed patient n lets not forget loyal. He comes back after 4 days. N then what? I get a blue day n I dont text. You know what he did? Broke up with me. Virgos are too mature n childish a5 the same time. They assume too much drama n negative things in head for which we pay.
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Thank You for the input, but I must so kindly disagree on a few points. I made it very, and I mean alarmingly clear, that I liked him VERy much, and I was very interested in being with HIM. The only time I joked with him was on the base when he asked me that question and to put it into context, we were playing 20 questions on an old torn up couch to calm each other down to not go too far physically. And he went from question: 'Where's your 'spot'.... to 'Where do you see us? What do you want from this?' How the hell was I supposed to know what to say, it caught me completely off guard and it was our THIRD 'date' if you call killing time on a military base while your date works a date....... And my thing is, if it troubled him, why didn't he get weird in the moment and call me out in the moment? If anything he got more clingy with