I talked to Virguy's wife

Sunday, it was women's day, I called the Virguy's wife. Their number was in the white pages.
we talked like sisters.
she was a little overwhelmed.
we talked for about three hours.
she is a Libra mother of three children.
Virguy and she, they really live apart.
Saturday and Sunday nights he sleeps somewhere in the same area but nobody knows where.
If his children ask him, he does not answer.
she admitted that she has often been reproachful to him.
I told her she needs to be a little NEW.
but most likely their train has already departed.
She says she is over him. but her friends say she will not be able to start something new as long as they are not really divorced.
she told sometimes he has tried to get affection or sex from him.
she would not want to file for divorce because of financial advantages of being married.
I don't think he is a bad guy. Or she is a bad wife.
It's just a little absurd that human being is the most developed living creature and has still such problems for which we are stupid.
* * * * *
He has an assistant. A student for a half time job.
she is often smiling, also beautiful.
With his Moon in Sagittarius I think she will be the next one(Sags love other cultures).
I have already written to him that I grant him this.
As the chinese have forcasted for Tigers he has problems with law since last week. (actually a matter of our company but in his department)
I had told him that this year would be some difficult for him.
This reminded the young girl of some chinese stuff which she brought to office.
That stuff is hanging on the wall and will protect the Virguy from bad goast, negative energy whatever.
Of course she will be very important for him to make the days coulourful instead of grey (Manager of 97% male staff).
Yet he is a middleager who is dreaming actually of kinky sex.
well, maybe we do not know enough about the modern chinese women?

This is the state of 50% of marriages that end here through divorce in the US today. Rush to marry the wrong person so you don't have to be alone, ignore red flags, make lots of kids immediately to make it better (NOT), mix with career and financial hardship, stress from having to support this life style ... STIR well, then take no self-responsibilty and file for divorce. Rinse and repeat sometimes 2 - 3 x in a lifetime. Unbelievable.

Why are so many people out there doing their best to destroy the institution of marriage? It's nearly archaic and outdated as it is, but with these kinds of immature and reckless behaviors...

Bottom line, Virguy's wife is a doormat with no self-respect instead of finding out how to fix herself. Virguy is a dysfunctional male looking to drag an innocent woman into his mess instead of finding out how to fix himself. Lack of self-responsibility and maturity on both their parts. I vote that the kids are the most mature in this relationship.

Women want emotional support to give sex and men want sex to get emotional.

Yet rarely given the divorce statistics, do the two ever seem to meet.

"Bottom line, Virguy's wife is a doormat with no self-respect instead of finding out how to fix herself. Virguy is a dysfunctional male looking to drag an innocent woman into his mess instead of finding out how to fix himself. Lack of self-responsibility and maturity on both their parts."



I didn't get that, tondalea ..... did we read the same thing?




You are bold, Brad .... bold to make this kind of risky move. You actually called his wife?

Gonnads the size of Texas, you have 🙂

You are bold, Brad .... bold to make this kind of risky move. You actually called his wife?

Gonnads the size of Texas, you have 🙂

yeah it was not easy.
I had this thoughts the whole last year. I told myself you cannot enter the private life of a woman before knowing her. But each time I found reasons and let it be. Reasons like "men go back to their wives despite affairs so why should she know it after all".

Why this talk at all? Because I guessed he, as a good Virgosalesmann, makes assumptions on how we people are. I just wanted to break his equations. So that the rest of us has an impact too.

A few months ago their address was in the white pages too. One day I told him I wish to be in the area they live on a weekend. Now their address is not in the white pages any more. Maybe he wanted to protect his family just in case I turned out to be a psycho criminal.

Her wife told me that when their youngest son was two years old he had a girl friend (also from the company). This girl had visited them before....in their house...in Christmas time...with gifts for them. The wife told it was the worst time in her life, she had felt very humiliated.

Either he is frivolous due to his Moon in Sag. Or he wanted some revenge cause he is a Tiger/Virgo and may have felt hurt by some actions from her side... I donno maybe the unscheduled third child.

It is all so sad.

Rush to marry the wrong person so you don't have to be alone, ignore red flags, make lots of kids immediately to make it better (NOT), mix with career and financial hardship, stress from having to support this life style ... STIR well, then take no self-responsibilty and file for divorce.

well they married young. they were from a small town. the first and third child was unscheduled. She has not worked out of the house the first years. Later she had education (three years) and is working now. She said she wanted to stay his wife so she has more rights on his retirement salary once she is old.

Bottom line, Virguy's wife is a doormat with no self-respect instead of finding out how to fix herself. Virguy is a dysfunctional male looking to drag an innocent woman into his mess instead of finding out how to fix himself. Lack of self-responsibility and maturity on both their parts. I vote that the kids are the most mature in this relationship.

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fact is she does not feel strong enough for a new start. She may be dreaming or still humiliated by his first affairs a few years ago (actually it must be ten years ago cause the son is 12 now). Maybe she has no sex drive. It is enough for her to have the children, a job and all the old friends. BTW she told me he has lose strings to their old friends.

For a new start you need hope or perspective...for example to make more money on herself. It all depends on her talents or skills. But as you stated above it may also come from the fact that she does not want to leave the comfort zone. the status or standards she has. Many reasons can be named. I don't know which are true. Maybe she does not know either.

PAngel. I was reading the separate scenarios as the top one being the wife putting up with it as Dwelling is asking her these questions about her marriage and the bottom part of the story being the husband cheating with someone new? Perhaps yes I did misunderstand the story. I am not privy to previous posts about this situation. Nor is Dwelling's writing, it's difficult to decipher clearly.

I was reading the separate scenarios as the top one being the wife putting up with it as Dwelling is asking her these questions about her marriage and the bottom part of the story being the husband cheating with someone new?

during the past ten years he had his own appartment. now he is living in my city. So he is four nights a week in my city. three nights in her neighbourhood. Very early in the conversation she told he sleeps somewhere out of the family's appartment in that area. Nobody knows where it is. And he does not say it to his children either. With the same manner he does not tell her whether he has a girl friend or not. Cause "friends may come frineds may go the only friend I need to know is you".

BTW I did not ask her any questions. She felt comfortable with like after ten minutes or so. I had no questions and no opinion of what she could do to me for favours.

you did not get it wrong....look I wrote these lines,
"She says she is over him. but her friends say she will not be able to start something new as long as they are not really divorced....she would not want to file for divorce because of financial advantages of being married."

Dwelling, you are awesome. I don't blame you for doing that. Talking to his wife was probably the best thing you could have done, being whats been going on. Now you know how much of an asshole he really is.

Good thing you didn't go for his sweet talk 🙂

Posted by DwellingOnMove

I was reading the separate scenarios as the top one being the wife putting up with it as Dwelling is asking her these questions about her marriage and the bottom part of the story being the husband cheating with someone new?

during the past ten years he had his own appartment. now he is living in my city. So he is four nights a week in my city. three nights in her neighbourhood. Very early in the conversation she told he sleeps somewhere out of the family's appartment in that area. Nobody knows where it is. And he does not say it to his children either. With the same manner he does not tell her whether he has a girl friend or not. Cause "friends may come frineds may go the only friend I need to know is you".

BTW I did not ask her any questions. She felt comfortable with like after ten minutes or so. I had no questions and no opinion of what she could do to me for favours.

you did not get it wrong....look I wrote these lines,
"She says she is over him. but her friends say she will not be able to start something new as long as they are not really divorced....she would not want to file for divorce because of financial advantages of being married."

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Wait, he is still married but has his own apartment? Thats insane! :O Why some people are so afraid of divorce is beyond me ... especailly when it gets to that point.

I was talking to my boyfriend about his ex once -- I wanted to know some of his history *shurgs* He said he stay with her for 9 years and things were rocky during the 5th year. I told him that theres no way I'd stay with him if I knew our relationship was the pits, theres no point. He gave me a look lol. I told him that theres no point -- I can understand 9 monthes but 9 years -- I would have ran to another state by then.

However, being now his girlfriend, I understand why it lasted so long, he believes that nothing can interfer with a relationship, I mean NOTHING. Its almost once you are with him, you are with him for life, regardless, and it will be a struggle to get out.


oh boy ...

He said he stay with her for 9 years and things were rocky during the 5th year.

Dy has a similar story with his Libra wife. Doesn't he?

Yes Dwelling I'd be curious as well to get feedback on Dy on this in terms of his ex and their former marriage since he is familiar with a similar situation.

DOM: she would not want to file for divorce because of financial advantages of being married.

LibraEx did not want divorce because of the social stigma still attached to it in The South.

She would've been content to stay in a loveless marriage - so long as she stayed married. The Proof: The last 4 years or so, we were more like room-mates than soul-mates...

very considerate from you to write your note on this post. thanks.

See: Virgo doesn't give a rat's ass for Society's Opinion. When it's over, it's over - staying is wasted effort, and we despise waste!

Virgo doesn't give a rat's ass for Society's Opinion. When it's over, it's over - staying is wasted effort, and we despise waste!

I know. it was one of the first things I learned about them. (actually Virgo is a difficult case to handle)

Hey it is his Juno!!!

His wife told me when their youngest son was two years old she had to face he had a girl friend.

Either he is frivolous due to his Moon in Sag. Or he wanted revenge due to his Chinese Tiger or Virgo Sun.

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Juno in Leo:

You require romance and excitement in relationships, and may extend the courtship patterns well into marriage. You want a partner you can be proud of, and one who likewise gives you admiration and attention. If you feel taken for granted, ignored or rejected, you may become selfish or egocentric, or engage in power struggles or inappropriate ways of getting attention.