More than a friend for this virgo guy?

This Virgo and I have never been sexual with each other, but we have cuddled and slept in the same bed. WE are actually very, very, very good friends. He's very unemotional, but when there is something wrong with him, he will seek my advise. When there's something wrong with me, he will always be there for me, but I can't seek his advise, because sometimes I know he doesn't want to hear it. But just being around him makes things better for me, because I feel that protectiveness from him.

He has a bit of a reputation as being a bit of a player, so that's why I haven't made any advances. Moreover, I think that a guy should make that advance. He's never tried, which I respect.

When my best friend and sister came into town, he made an AMAZING effort. Took us out on the boat all day, went fishing, ate out..... amazing effort, and he co-ordinated it all. I was very impressed, as were my sister and friend.

Recently, he's made small sexual comments towards me, but when I kinda tease him about it, he withdraws back. We tease each other (we're both line cooks) and we always have a great time together. We're on the same wave length. My thing is that if he meets a girl who is easy, he will go for that, rather than pursue what he really wants. But then that leads me to think that maybe we are just friends....... and very good friends at that.

What are your opinions Virgo's—

BTW.... I am an Aries. I know that some might have diverse opinions about us..............

Obviously he is into you as a friend. As far as romance goes - it's a tough one. I've had the opposite(opposite as in I was the Virgo male) relationship with an Aries girl. Lot's of fun, amazing connection, excellent barter - we also slept together once(nothing sexual).

In my case nothing happened because she was the best friend of my then separated wife. Under different circumstances we would have been an item.

Bottom line: He is into you BIG TIME - WHAT IS STOPPING HIM?

Posted by Mars.In.Aries

When my best friend and sister came into town, he made an AMAZING effort. Took us out on the boat all day, went fishing, ate out..... amazing effort, and he co-ordinated it all. I was very impressed, as were my sister and friend.

Let's be honest here... you're an Aries, Masters of the head.
You ladies come with fantastic beauty and lovely hair.

If he's making all this effort, he definitely diggs you.
I'm not as familiar with the high sex appeal, but trust me you make things "hard" for him. Haha.

Recently, he's made small sexual comments towards me, but when I kinda tease him about it, he withdraws back. We tease each other (we're both line cooks) and we always have a great time together. We're on the same wave length. My thing is that if he meets a girl who is easy, he will go for that, rather than pursue what he really wants. But then that leads me to think that maybe we are just friends....... and very good friends at that.

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His comments are to test the waters. Virgos start subtle whilst Aries react strong.
So he's gauging you.

Posted by Mars.In.Aries
he was affectionate towards me infront of his friends. I'm just going to take it slow. Not rush into anything. I don't want to ruin the friendship that we have. He means that much to me...... .

Another Virgo... friendzoned again...

*shoots self*

Let's be honest here... you're an Aries, Masters of the head.
You ladies come with fantastic beauty and lovely hair.

If he's making all this effort, he definitely diggs you.
I'm not as familiar with the high sex appeal, but trust me you make things "hard" for him. Haha.

We also come with boobs and a butt 😉 And eyes that you can get lost in. I'm not doubting that he "diggs" me..... I'm just doubting the level that he does. And like I said, my sentiment is that he will go for the girl that will show him attention an that he doesn't have to work hard for. He's been with two girls in the almost 2 years that I've known him, but they were short lived because they didn't like the same things as he does. Me.... you can take me anywhere. I'm down for any kind of adventure!!!

His comments are to test the waters. Virgos start subtle whilst Aries react strong.
So he's gauging you.

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Well..... I wouldn't take virgos to be the overly cautious type like the boring capricorn, but if he's going to "bait" me, there better be something on the end of the line. And maybe that might be where he is falling short in?? It's only been the the last several months that he's started to say that type of stuff, and it's been getting more frequent. But he can be a bit flakey too......

Another Virgo... friendzoned again...

*shoots self*

Maybe then step up your game—? Hesitation from your end will translate to mixed signals on the receiving end. A women with sense and gallant will weigh out the pros and cons before entering into anything. The friendzone that you are referring to is a good thing, because from my point, I will never hurt you as a friend. Mainly because my heart isn't involved on a deep emotional level. But once my heart is in it, and believe it or not, my heart is fragile, you better treat it well. Otherwise I will seek and destroy.... and Aries have no limits when it comes to war. So, it a complex way, it's a sign of deep respect.... If that makes any sense to you

Posted by Mars.In.Aries

Well..... I wouldn't take virgos to be the overly cautious type like the boring capricorn, but if he's going to "bait" me, there better be something on the end of the line. And maybe that might be where he is falling short in?? It's only been the the last several months that he's started to say that type of stuff, and it's been getting more frequent. But he can be a bit flakey too......

Well that's the thing sweetheart... Virgo men like to get to know you.
Then we gradually become integral to your life. We hope that you would fall for us over time as opposed to right away.

This aggressive style of dating is unnatural for us. Even if we seem good at it, we prefer to get to know you as a friend first.

I dunno, but if I were in his position I would probably be doing the same thing.
You're "Take no Crap, Don't need no man, I can do it better" attitude both excites and offputs him.
He doesn't know the tender flower you are deep underneath who craves for a shoulder to rest on when you're worn out.
So... he's trying to figure you out.

While my philosophy is that I can do things better myself, I've learned over time that it can be a very isolating place to be in when you do do it by yourself. And it wears me out over time. I do have a "no crap" attitude because I am intense and don't give shit to other people. Out of respect, I expect the same. There is nothing more dishonest to me when someone intentially messes around with someone just for the fuck sake of it.

Is it that the "Take no Crap, Don't need no man, I can do it better" attitude emasculates men, and that is why they freak the fuck out and disappear— I've had many experiences where men act very aggressively towards it, and have challenged me head on, and that's when things become interesting. Because one of two things are going to happen..... I'm eventually going to wear you out, exposing what you are really about (and if it's just for the lure of the chase, you're done for) or you just can't keep up and turn your attention onto something more attainable.

It's a nice change to deal with someone who isn't threatened by my "attitude" and can stand the duration of time.....

Posted by Mars.In.Aries

Is it that the "Take no Crap, Don't need no man, I can do it better" attitude emasculates men, and that is why they freak the fuck out and disappear— I've had many experiences where men act very aggressively towards it, and have challenged me head on, and that's when things become interesting. Because one of two things are going to happen..... I'm eventually going to wear you out, exposing what you are really about (and if it's just for the lure of the chase, you're done for) or you just can't keep up and turn your attention onto something more attainable.

It's a nice change to deal with someone who isn't threatened by my "attitude" and can stand the duration of time.....

This is exactly how the Aries Woman and Virgo man relationship shines.
He loves your attitude as long as you're not mean to him. Independence and lacking in neediness.
A truthful and honest woman who can do things for herself.
Who utilises the Virgo when she needs him and makes him feel needed, very important.

Are you serious? First thing you have to do is get over yourself, and your so called "philosophy" and all the other non-sense megalomania/sense of entitlement.

Shortcut: Find a reason to get together in a non-pressure/no expectations situation, in a quiet bar/restaurant, order white wine, drink, drink, drink......be yourself.

Make him breakfast.

Are you serious? First thing you have to do is get over yourself, and your so called "philosophy" and all the other non-sense megalomania/sense of entitlement.

Shortcut: Find a reason to get together in a non-pressure/no expectations situation, in a quiet bar/restaurant, order white wine, drink, drink, drink......be yourself.

Are you serious— There is nothing megalomaniac about my statements at all. If anyone is in excess of megalomania/sense of entitlement, it is you.

YOU might find that drinking is a short cut to "being yourself", but there are more qualities to me then just "getting drunk". There is no pressure between us. And that's what I really dig about him.

Make him breakfast.

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Despite your piss poor reference of associating "women" and "kitchen", I will have you know that I am a female chef, and I love to cook him breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The EQUAL benefit is that he is a chef himself, whom loves to cook me breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Posted by Cajunspirit

Posted by Mars.In.Aries
he was affectionate towards me infront of his friends. I'm just going to take it slow. Not rush into anything. I don't want to ruin the friendship that we have. He means that much to me...... .

Another Virgo... friendzoned again...

*shoots self*

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LOL awww

Posted by Jason2213


Lets just say they're taking the "slowly but surely" path. Those relationships are probably the most rewarding anyway.

Oh, who am I kidding? 😢

It don't work buddy... not at this age...

Thank you for the kind words! Obviously I am wrong. Thank you also for figuring me out so easily. And women complain that men are complicated!? They should listen to you more oftentimes!

I think if you take things too fast, it fizzles out quickly. If you take it too slow, interest might be lost. If you take your time, you will get to know each other, and that to me can make things interesting and to get things to fizzle.

Thank you for the kind words! Obviously I am wrong. Thank you also for figuring me out so easily. And women complain that men are complicated!? They should listen to you more oftentimes!

So, you jumped in and made assumptions about me in a very untactful way, but then when I throw your own attitude in your face, and use your own words against you, you become satirical.

The irony isn't that you use another stereotype of that women complain about men being complicated. The irony is that when you untwist your satire, what you are really saying is that women are complicated and that we complain. Yet another typical stereotype.

Hmmm you say a bit of a player, seems he has some player technique he's using, these player types can go under the radar, I would say BEWARE, they have a way of being neutral, meaning he will go with the flow, slowly make you fall deeply in love without escalating, (players can adjust there habits to each individual woman), IMO he is using a pick up artist approach (I know I might catch hell for saying this but here goes)

The secret lies in making advances, plays, moves forward, whatever you want to call them, in a way that is so —stealth?? ie undetectable, she doesn't even realize he's making them. If he can Fly below the radar, well??_it's smooth sailing.

If he never escalates with you, do all the typical I want you type of guy behavior, you will naturally take it there yourself, the tables will turn, he will grasp your complete focus and once a woman focuses her attention on a man well it's pretty easy after that, we can now see your getting curious as to why he's behaving in a non-traditional normal guy kind of way, that to me says he's good LOL

Women tend to hold all the power when they are the one's selecting men, what these player types understand is that if he goes beneath the radar of your reject reflex he can lead you were he wants you to go...if your rejection-reflex is never activated, he literally has the power to take things wherever HE want them to go.

When a man is making slight moves, he's essentially take a risk of rejection, to eliminate that risk, he removes even the possibility of rejection all together, he is super nice, understanding, all the things you like in a man for the most part, he's bypassing all your NATURAL RESISTANCE to reject so by the time he makes a move IF he even has to you will be completely READY, unguarded and completely unable to reject.

The main objective is to remove decision making instances from the woman and when they do this, they remove your ability to reject him. Yet he clearly makes sure you see him as a sexual man, not a wimp to keep your interest high, this could move into a relationship without much effort or drama IF he wants it to.

I'm not saying he won't be with you or anything, it's clear he has some genuine interest but make sure everything you do and say is on your terms, players don't give up there player card over night, they are all about mastering a skill of seduction, highly seductive men....

Posted by tiki33


*Secret dossiers*

You know too much!!!
Hide that message!
LOL

Posted by Cajunspirit

Posted by tiki33


*Secret dossiers*

You know too much!!!
Hide that message!
LOL

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LMAO!! Hide what message Cajun? I have no idea what your talking about...

Tiki... I agree with you. I'm not one that is easy to bait, unless it is I that wants to make the move and take charge. But some guys feel emasculated when they are met with my aggressiveness. Case in point, Mr. Excess a few posts ago.....

Because he has player attributes, I won't make any moves on him, or to move forward, to be more precise. But at the same token, if he is being a player, and flying under the radar as you made an example of, then I'm still one step ahead because I'm still the one in control. He can't make a play on me unless I allow it to occur, and this is only going to happen when I start seeing things that I can align myself with. And I don't share what it is that I'm looking for, so I'm getting an unedited version. Does that make any sense to you—

Posted by Mars.In.Aries
I'm still one step ahead because I'm still the one in control. He can't make a play on me unless I allow it to occur, and this is only going to happen when I start seeing things that I can align myself with.

Watch out for him getting randomly frustrated with you, typically an indicative sign.

Posted by Mars.In.Aries
Tiki... I agree with you. I'm not one that is easy to bait, unless it is I that wants to make the move and take charge. But some guys feel emasculated when they are met with my aggressiveness. Case in point, Mr. Excess a few posts ago.....

Because he has player attributes, I won't make any moves on him, or to move forward, to be more precise. But at the same token, if he is being a player, and flying under the radar as you made an example of, then I'm still one step ahead because I'm still the one in control. He can't make a play on me unless I allow it to occur, and this is only going to happen when I start seeing things that I can align myself with. And I don't share what it is that I'm looking for, so I'm getting an unedited version. Does that make any sense to you—

Makes perfect sense, I believe if you focus not so much on what he's doing behavior wise but moreso on what you want in a man and what you want to see in a man before you take it to the next level you will be able to maintain a level of control over the situation. I'm not all against players and PUA techniques if it's not malevolent which I don't feel it is, seems he's playing it safe which is fine but don't be surprised if you get bored of it, Aries need action or it won't go anywhere...Interesting to see how it plays out, keep us posted.

Also you can easily slip into a very soothing familiar pattern of dependence, hence the sleeping with him, a suggestion is to be lucid in thought, you can fall in a deep hypnotic pattern of uncontrollable irresistable feelings about a man that is just a friend...

Makes perfect sense, I believe if you focus not so much on what he's doing behavior wise but moreso on what you want in a man and what you want to see in a man before you take it to the next level you will be able to maintain a level of control over the situation.

This is what I'm understanding. I watch some of my girlfriends and how they interact with their boys, and I get frustrated with them because they will start controlling their man's behavior via telling him to do things. In an inverse way, I think this is an all-to-easy pattern that women fall into, because we will try to mold the object of our desire to be what it is that we want in a man.

I'm not all against players and PUA techniques if it's not malevolent which I don't feel it is, seems he's playing it safe which is fine but don't be surprised if you get bored of it, Aries need action or it won't go anywhere...Interesting to see how it plays out, keep us posted.

If it's done playfully, the players technique can actually be quiet intriguing. But it has to be done tactfully, and let's be honest here, most guys don't possess this technique masterfully without coming across as a sleaze bag or a horn dog. It's the art of seduction.... when done correctly with gentlemanly temperment, it's actually a huge compliment towards women.

And you're right that Aries always need action. I thought by now that I would of gotten bored, but perhaps he's going to teach me to not rush into things like I usually do. The Cappy guy that I was involved with taught me patience and how rushing things can be scarey and come across as unstable.

Also you can easily slip into a very soothing familiar pattern of dependence, hence the sleeping with him, a suggestion is to be lucid in thought, you can fall in a deep hypnotic pattern of uncontrollable irresistable feelings about a man that is just a friend...

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Hmmmm...... so how do I test this to see if it is or isn't a factor—

Watch out for him getting randomly frustrated with you, typically an indicative sign.

Maybe this has sent the message that I'm not into him—?