My Virgo Interest Is Getting the Best of Me...Ugh!

I came across this forum as I was searching for understanding when it comes to my Virguy interest. In reading your responses to other and just the general comments you make regarding yourself, I have found this information to be very helpful in understanding him, but he still confuses the hell out of me. There are times when I think I should just be patient, then there are times when I think he's just not that into me and I should cut my loses and move on...because Virgo or no Virgo, he's still a single guy with his own agenda.

Here's a little background info. He bartends part-time. What I noticed about him was how attentive he was to my group when we came in for drinks and that his attire was clean-cut (he's handsome too), but I was admiring his work ethic. He was very polite told me "I like your hair like that, don't wear it like you had it before." I was shocked that he had even taken notice of me before. My girlfriend tried to convince me that he was flirting with me, but I didn't see it that way. However, his demeanor changed when my date arrived, he never came to check on us again. I thought it was kind of cute. From time to time, thoughts of this man would pop into my mind, and a year had passed before we ran into each other again. I started taking dance lessons at a local spot, not knowing that he was now working at this place. I was very nervous, but for some reason I knew I needed to make it known to this man that I was interested in him and wanted to get to know him. So, I gave him my #. 2 weeks passed and I didn't hear from him. My cousin convinced me to contact him one last time before I pulled the plug completely.

Fast foward...when we finally had our first date he was very open and direct about himself. He said he has never been married and not in a current relationship and the reason could be that because he could want the person he's interested in to contact him every day, but he may not contact them. He said he was slow to get emotionally involved in a relationship. When I asked him to define slow he said, "it could take you a 2-3 weeks to start getting emotionally attached, but it could take me a year." My head was spinning, I didn't know how to process what he was saying.

As a result, I have pulled myself back so that I don't get too emotionally involved and get myself hurt. I'm a scorpio and you know our emotions run high! I find myself waiting for him to make the contact, because ....

....because I don't want to have my feelings hurt when he's not "available." I've already confronted him about being wishy-washing when it came time for us to make plans to see each other. As soon as I agree to meet with him, he'll start running through his mental list of things he has to do "first" then state he'll call me when he's finished. When I finally confronted him on that, he apologized and said he would try to do better. Has he...yes and no.

He invited me to his NYE party, BUT told me to bring a date...go figure! This made no sense to me. He stated that from pass experience he learned that he didn't need to have someone for him at his parties, bc his date(s) got upset bc he was more focused on his guests and not them. (Side note: In all honesty, I could related, that's the only time my ex wanted to talk to me was when I was hosting, then after the party he would accuse me of not making him a priority. I was the MC for our 20th high school reunion and my ex approached me in the middle of it all, stated he was leaving bc I left him alone...HE WENT TO THE SAME HIGH SCHOOL and probably knew more of the people than I did...I digress...lol). So, I understood this Virguy's position, but I didn't understand him asking me to bring a date. So, I declined. A few days later he asked if I was ok with coming to the party by myself.

On 3 separate occasions he has asked why after we see each other he doesn't hear from me for 3-4 days. I finally told him that I needed to protect myself and didn't want to get hurt by him. He was a little shocked by that statement, but didn't respond.

I do like this guy and I would welcome the chance to be in a relationship with him, but I don't know if he's really into me or if he's just ok with how things are and is giving me just enough contact and attention on his part so that he doesn't lose contact with me, but at the same time control his availability. UGH!!!!

P.S. I forgot to give a timeline. I gave him my # about mid-Nov. I've been two his place twice, not including the NYE party. Then he met up with me when I was going out dancing with my dance group (but I don't consider that a date).

Thanks...it's funny, but that simple statement knocked me back to reality. I know I'm only trippin' because it's not often that I find MYSELF extremely attracted to someone. We're still "talking" and after each conversation I'm a little more at ease. Thanks again.