Playing Games or is he a normal Virgo

As much as I try to keep my emotions in check over my virgo interest, I'm not being very successful.

After having an "internal moment" I came to the conclusion that I needed to distance myself from my virgo interest. Yes, I am smitten and have been bitten by the Virgo bug. So, let me see if I can explain and ask my questions without writing a 10 page document....lol.

We had a conversation, me telling him I didn't want to continue and him asking me why I was ready to give up on him so soon. He explained that it was important that the woman he gets involved with get to know who he is and proceeded to give examples. One example was that he is slow to get into a relationship and if he hasn't called in a week, that the woman isn't bent out of shape when he does finally call. Well, the way I processed this is that a woman who is very ok with this is probably getting her needs taken care of somewhere else and when he's ready to spend time with her, she'll block out time for him. He basically said he was ok with that. He said he's ok with seeing me with another guy, because at this point we really don't know each other, but as time passes, and his feelings for me develop, it's at that point that he'll have a different view and will not be ok with me being with another man.

Please help me out here. This may or may not be a Virgo specific question. It may be a "I-have-no-clue-this-is-what-dating-is-really-about" issue. Background info on me...I married at age 20 for 20 years to my first boyfriend and my dating and marriage experience with him wouldn't be classified as the most ideal. No abuse, but no emotional connection. So, my dating experience is limited.

It's been 1 1/2 months that we've been talking. At one point I was able to still talk and go out with others, which made it easier to not focus on the lack of attention from Virgo, but true to form the virgo would say or do something that I found myself thinking of him more often. The other dilemma I face is getting comfortable with dating (not sleeping) more than one man. When one of them starts to express more interest in me, than I have in him, I start to pull away. Then I find myself not dating at all.

Call me crazy, but this is just the messed up chaos that's going on in my head.

I do want honest answers, but I also want advice and suggestions on how to best deal with Virgo and dating.

Posted by CancerMoon
Tell me....are you a Scorpio?

LOL! Yes!

Posted by ellessque
yay!!

another scorpio going thru almost the EXACT samething. 🙂

welcome.

*overjoyed*

Thanks ellessque...I enjoy reading your posts. My screen name says it all...ImaBlvr (I'm a believer) ...I've learned SO much about myself since finding this site.

Posted by wgamador
Sorry. I haz no earth shattering input.

Just talk face to face with him.
I dont know about other Virgo males, but If i like you and my body craves yours....i wont play games or
wait until you have someone else. There is no time to lose or you may be losing something more valuable than time.

We Virgos know exactly what we are doing at all times
....so just go out and have fun.
Why in such a rush to get into another relationship. Thats bugged out.

Thanks. Why in such a rush to get into another relationship. Thats bugged out.---I agree! That's why I'm so freakin off my rocker when it comes to this Virgo. I am just as composed and cool with the other guys I have dated. I've been honest with them, telling them I'm not looking for a serious relationship and that I am dating. And I thought I was wanting this when I met Mr. Virgo. BUT Nooooooo! I WANT THIS GUY. Perhaps its the control that he has in taking things slow that is making him more attractive. It's also his kindness, honesty and some what dry/crazy sense of humor and that he is completely himself with me. I better stop, before I get myself worked up again...lol

@wgamador...that's why I'm also interested in becoming a better dater. How to date without getting my emotions all wrapped up into it.

Posted by ellessque
isn't the sense of humor so divine and refreshing? *sigh*

Yes it is! He talks very matter-of-factly when talking seriously and when being funny, that I can't tell when he's joking. But because what he's saying is so bizarre, that's my clue that he's joking. But I always ask to be safe. When he is telling the truth he say "no, I'm serious." Then I laugh because I'm sure he doesn't realize what he's doing.

He's sexy, intelligent, handsome, but quirky in his own right. I'm attracted to quirkiness. (goodness, I've got it bad...lol)

@elle...my prayers are with you...lol. I'm planning myself a dinner date at this very moment to get my mind off of Mr. Virgo...I have to remind myself that I am not being unfaithful to a man I'm not in a relationship with...yeah, this crazy scorpio mind. The plus side to this is that once we are finally in a relationship, he will not have to worry about my attention being any where else, but him. :-)

I'm still trying to understand it all, but here are our charts. I don't know either of our birth times, nor his birth city, so I guessed at his city based on the two states he mentioned growing up in.

My chart

Sun Scorpio 12.38
Moon Capricorn 1.20
Mercury Scorpio 3.45 R
Venus Virgo 26.06
Mars Capricorn 10.09
Jupiter Virgo 2.35
Saturn Aries 6.37 R
Uranus Virgo 27.39
Neptune Scorpio 23.40
Pluto Virgo 22.12
Lilith Taurus 4.57
Asc node Aries 27.50

Planet Aspect Planet Orb/Value
Sun Conjunction Mercury 8.53 81
Sun Sextile Mars 2.29 157
Moon Sextile Mercury 2.26 94
Moon Square Venus 5.14 -7
Moon Conjunction Mars 8.49 19
Moon Trine Jupiter 1.15 58
Moon Square Saturn 5.18 -5
Moon Square Uranus 3.41 -32
Mercury Sextile Jupiter 1.11 128
Venus Conjunction Uranus 1.33 169
Venus Sextile Neptune 2.26 35
Venus Conjunction Pluto 3.54 98
Mars Trine Jupiter 7.34 5
Mars Square Saturn 3.32 -27
Saturn Opposition Uranus 8.58 -0
Uranus Sextile Neptune 3.59 0
Uranus Conjunction Pluto 5.27 73
Neptune Sextile Pluto 1.28 38
955 -71 884


His:

Sun Virgo 9.32
Moon Leo 15.35
Mercury Virgo 17.55
Venus Virgo 3.31 R
Mars Scorpio 25.15
Jupiter Leo 20.58
Saturn Aries 11.12 R
Uranus Virgo 23.51
Neptune Scorpio 21.50
Pluto Virgo 20.04
Lilith Aries 27.49
Asc node Aries 28.52

Planet Aspect Planet Orb/Value
Sun Conjunction Mercury 8.23 175
Sun Conjunction Venus 6.01 135
Moon Conjunction Jupiter 5.23 258
Moon Trine Saturn 4.23 29
Mercury Conjunction Uranus 5.55 269
Mercury Sextile Neptune 3.55 7
Mercury Conjunction Pluto 2.09 424
Mars Square Jupiter 4.17 -47
Mars Sextile Uranus 1.25 175
Mars Conjunction Neptune 3.25 316
Jupiter Square Neptune 0.52 -60
Uranus Sextile Neptune 2.01 50
Uranus Conjunction Pluto 3.46 100
Neptune Sextile Pluto 1.46 34
1972 -107 1865

I'll have to find a way to work getting his birth city into the conversation, then i'll repost our charts.

Posted by virg_goki
i get the same problem.. i suck at making the effort to be funny.. people find me funny when i'm actually serious. Partly also why I tend to get into trouble at work... My boss hates me cus she thinks i'm joking when I explain my work but when i'm joking she just brushes it off. She just doesn't know me and not interested in making the effort to realize i'm actually working. I get reprimanded unnecessarily


SHEESH

I'm sorry you have to deal with that with your boss. For me personally, it has helped to take a step back and figure out that person's personality, then I'm able to better handle them and the situation. I hope you can find a solution to your specific situation.

I had an ah-ha moment last night. After recapping our phone conversation, I had to give more thought to a statement Virgo made, "I need for you to get to know me and once you know me can you deal with me." It made sense, but at the time I hadn't put much thought into.

So, I find myself drunk by sleep and thinking about this. I couldn't understand why I'm able to talk and see other guys and not get bent out of shape if we don't talk consistently. What was different between them and Virgo. Well, 2 things come to mind 1) I picked Virgo...my eyes are on him. The other guys picked me so I'm patiently waiting to see what they are about. 2)I've been intimate with Virgo and not the other guys. It's this combination that has allowed me to become more emotionally attached to Virgo. As a result, my emotions have been clouding reality and that has aided in my being confused. In our conversation Virgo pointed out the things HE does when he's interested in a person. Has he done those things with me---YES. But because my scorpio senses wants MORE of him NOW, I couldn't see the forest or the trees.

I've taken a step back to readjust my thinking and what I should be focusing on...and that is "get to know this man for my own benefit." What I see now is all good, but we are all on our best behavior in the beginning. I realized that Virgo is actually doing me a favor and potentially saving us both from headache/heartache, if down the road we find that we aren't compatible (although, I doubt that...lol), there's no love lost.

Thanks Virgo! Yeah! One more tick mark on the PROS for Virgo. He makes me think and challenges me mentally. I like that because I want to be with someone who can help me be a better person, help me continue growing.

ImaBlvr, I realize that this is an older posting, and I hope that things have worked out for the best for you. I am glad that I found this thread you have posted, because I am in quite a similar situation that you have been through. I am simply seeking some understanding and hopefully some advice from any one who can provide any.

I have been talking with my virgo of interest for almost 2-1/2 months. I found him online and got the confidence to message him, without expecting anything in return. He messaged me back and we hit it off pretty well. We talked almost every day, if not every other day (for the first few weeks) about anything and discovered we share many interests. We made plans to meet up but we had conflicting work schedules. One day we were going to meet up, but he had to change plans to meet with a friend visiting in town. What I though was super sweet, was he kept messaging me throughout the evening while he was with his friends. He also invited me to meet up with them that night, but I had already made other plans and sadly couldn't make it.

The bizarre thing is that it turned out that we work in the same building, and so we visited each other a few times. As time kept going, I liked what was going on and my interest in him kept growing. We even came up with nick names for each other.

Now, where I'm pretty sure I messed up, is one evening I couldn't think of anything else but him. So I asked if it was a good time to talk on the phone, but he said to message him. So I basically said that I liked him and that I hoped it doesn't push him away if he doesn't feel the same. I then proceeded to ask how he felt (big mistake, I know). He responded that what he knew of me so far, he liked, but didn't know me well enough to make any kind of judgement. That conversation ended by me saying that I simply wanted to get to know him better because I was interested in him, and I changed the subject. After this is when I started to hear less from him.

At the beginning the communication was mutual, but now I mostly don't hear from him unless I initiate some kind of communication.My only concern is that he thinks I'm moving on. When we do speak, things are fine, but it's usually only for a few moments. We don't have full conversations like we used to.

I am a pretty patient person and I am willing to wait, because I truly feel that he can be the one and I really do like him, though we don't know each other too well. I some how just have a feeling and know. The thing that is troubling me is that he and this situation run through my mind all day. Perhaps I simply need some clarity and understanding as to why I don't hear from him like I used to. I realize now that I've probably been too forward, and so I have been contacting him less to give him space.

Did I truly push him away by being so direct? Do you guys think I should ask him why we don't talk like we used to? I don't want to make it seem like I am making him the bad guy, nor do I want to make things awkward by asking him this. I almost want to just give it time without saying anything about the communication and casually message him once in a while. I understand that he may be needing his space and needs time to think. I would like to know what you guys make of this situation. Any suggestions on what I can do?

Posted by ImaBlvr
I'm still trying to understand it all, but here are our charts. I don't know either of our birth times, nor his birth city, so I guessed at his city based on the two states he mentioned growing up in.

My chart

Sun Scorpio 12.38
Moon Capricorn 1.20
Mercury Scorpio 3.45 R
Venus Virgo 26.06
Mars Capricorn 10.09
Jupiter Virgo 2.35
Saturn Aries 6.37 R
Uranus Virgo 27.39
Neptune Scorpio 23.40
Pluto Virgo 22.12
Lilith Taurus 4.57
Asc node Aries 27.50

Planet Aspect Planet Orb/Value
Sun Conjunction Mercury 8.53 81
Sun Sextile Mars 2.29 157
Moon Sextile Mercury 2.26 94
Moon Square Venus 5.14 -7
Moon Conjunction Mars 8.49 19
Moon Trine Jupiter 1.15 58
Moon Square Saturn 5.18 -5
Moon Square Uranus 3.41 -32
Mercury Sextile Jupiter 1.11 128
Venus Conjunction Uranus 1.33 169
Venus Sextile Neptune 2.26 35
Venus Conjunction Pluto 3.54 98
Mars Trine Jupiter 7.34 5
Mars Square Saturn 3.32 -27
Saturn Opposition Uranus 8.58 -0
Uranus Sextile Neptune 3.59 0
Uranus Conjunction Pluto 5.27 73
Neptune Sextile Pluto 1.28 38
955 -71 884


His:

Sun Virgo 9.32
Moon Leo 15.35
Mercury Virgo 17.55
Venus Virgo 3.31 R
Mars Scorpio 25.15
Jupiter Leo 20.58
Saturn Aries 11.12 R
Uranus Virgo 23.51
Neptune Scorpio 21.50
Pluto Virgo 20.04
Lilith Aries 27.49
Asc node Aries 28.52

Planet Aspect Planet Orb/Value
Sun Conjunction Mercury 8.23 175
Sun Conjunction Venus 6.01 135
Moon Conjunction Jupiter 5.23 258
Moon Trine Saturn 4.23 29
Mercury Conjunction Uranus 5.55 269
Mercury Sextile Neptune 3.55 7
Mercury Conjunction Pluto 2.09 424
Mars Square Jupiter 4.17 -47
Mars Sextile Uranus 1.25 175
Mars Conjunction Neptune 3.25 316
Jupiter Square Neptune 0.52 -60
Uranus Sextile Neptune 2.01 50
Uranus Conjunction Pluto 3.46 100
Neptune Sextile Pluto 1.46 34
1972 -107 1865

Do you know his rising sign

Posted by ImaBlvr
As much as I try to keep my emotions in check over my virgo interest, I'm not being very successful.
i HAVE THAT SAME PROBLEM WITH THE VIRGO IM SEEING....iT IS HARD TO DO ...ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY CAN PICK UP YOUR MODE BY BODY LANGUAGE..

After having an "internal moment" I came to the conclusion that I needed to distance myself from my virgo interest. Yes, I am smitten and have been bitten by the Virgo bug. So, let me see if I can explain and ask my questions without writing a 10 page document....lol.

We had a conversation, me telling him I didn't want to continue and him asking me why I was ready to give up on him so soon. He explained that it was important that the woman he gets involved with get to know who he is and proceeded to give examples. One example was that he is slow to get into a relationship(MY MAN SAID THAT TOO, AND THAT IT IS THAT WITHOUT THE LABEL BECAUSE WE ARE BOTH BEING CAUTIOUS NOT TO GET HURT AND SO WE HAVE MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING) and if he hasn't called in a week, that the woman isn't bent out of shape when he does finally call. Well, the way I processed this is that a woman who is very ok with this is probably getting her needs taken care of somewhere else and when he's ready to spend time with her, she'll block out time for him. He basically said he was ok with that. He said he's ok with seeing me with another guy, because at this point we really don't know each other, but as time passes, and his feelings for me develop, it's at that point that he'll have a different view and will not be ok with me being with another man.


tHEY LIKE TO SEE IF THE WOMAN IS SOMEBODY WHO IS CLINGY OR INDEPENDENT,CAN THEY BE WITH OUT A MAN AND WILL THEY BE HONSET ABOUT WHAT THEY HAVE ON THEIR MIND
BE HONEST ABOUT WHAT YOU REALLY FEEL DONT ASK HIM HOW HE FEELS WHEN HE'S READY HE TELLS YOU BY GESTURES NOT ACTUALLY SPEAKIN IT CAUSE HE STILL ANALYZIN TO SEE IF YOU ARE FOR HIM OR NOT
EMOTIONAL,MENTAL MOST IMPORTANTLY HAVE TO BE THERE TO HAVE A PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP.BY STICKIN TO NAGGIN ON THE ISSUES AND NOT ACTUALLY FEELIN WHAT HE SAYS MAKES HIM TAKE LONGERWHEN HE DOES OPEN UP HE WILL BE SO TALKATIVE TO THE POINT WHERE YOU WILL LOSE TRACK OF TIME TALKIN...

I do want honest answers, but I also want advice and suggestions on how to best deal with Virgo and dating.

bEST THING TO DO IS IF YOU FEEL CONFIDENT THAT HE MATCHES UP TO THE STANDAR

Sorry about that it cutoff some of what I said....But any way if he matches up to your standards of what you look for in a man and he is also lookin at you like you match up to what he looks for in a woman then just be patient ....when they go slow i learned that their evaluation process is slow and steady ....enjoy your time together and dont push in time it will come to you