The long Wait

Well people, I did it, my attempt at one last attempt or maybe some closure, and I?m already regretting it. I sent the Virgo the photos this morning right before 9:00 a.m. It was so hard to hit that send button. I haven?t heard back from him yet which could mean?..

A. He hasn?t received it yet.
B. He has received it but he is in a meeting or with people and he can?t respond
C. He is in Canada and his Blackberry doesn?t work there.
D. He lost his blackberry while on his trip
E. His blackberry is defective
F. He had a skiing accident and he is in the hospital
G. He did get it and he has slammed his Blackberry against the wall and now he can?t respond
H. He and the girl he has in his bed right now are looking at the pictures and laughing at how pathetic I am
I. He did get it and he is thinking about how exactly to respond so that he lets me down very gently
J. He did get it and he is thinking about how exactly to respond because he loves and misses me and wants me back J


I?m sure it?s that last one 😉

I really need serious help Hahahaha!!

No, the New Year's photos of the two of us that were saved from a broken camera.

Hahahaha!!! Nothing Porno, but I do look really hot Branh and he is looking at me in the photos like he is deeply in love with me. I'm hoping to stir something up in Mr. no emotions.

I have to disagree. He may be a Virgo, but he is still a man and men are visual. If there are any feelings left in him at all, thinking of that night which was a really great night, will make him miss me. I think it's a better plan than to try to call him and make him talk about what happened in our last conversation. I know it won't do anything if his feelings are gone, but if he has been wanting to make contact even if it is just for closure on his part this will open the door.

Thanks for the support Aprilbaby!! I haven't heard from him yet though so I'm not sure what that means.

Oh I know he will reply in some way some time. I may not hear what I want to hear in my fantasy world, but I will hear from him. I wish you were right about being in love with the mystery, but it's just not true. I'm not somebody who falls easily in fact this is the first time in 8 years that I have had real feelings for someone. I know that if the timing was different between us he would be someone I could be with long term. I don't have any false illusions that this relationship is going to work out any time soon, but I just want him to know that the door is open when he heals from his old relationship so that if it's meant to be that it will make it that much easier for him to come back into my life. I am moving on though because I know it's not the right time and I can't force anything. I really hope I meet someone else because it will make it a lot easier if I don't have to deal with this. Relationships should not be this hard and I know that. I just don't want him to think that I hate him for having his feelings. I do have faith that someday he will be a great guy for somebody and I hope he somehow comes back to me.

Hi Branh,
I get what you are saying but we are talking about trying to fix the damage of trying to push him into something he wasn't ready for yet not playing head games. I went temporarily insane and pushed him when he wasn't ready to be pushed. He very rightly was wanting to take everything at a snail's pace because he just got out of a bad relationship a few months ago and I have been playing the field for the last 8 years and got totally blown away by this guy and how great he was and I was ready to jump right on board and when I felt him start to pull away I got really scared and frustrated because he was the first man I really wanted in so long and I was afraid that if it didn't work out with him that it may be another 8 years before I meet someone that great again. I have now come back to my senses and I know that it is more me that is now ready for a relationship and that is why I brought love into my life and I can do it again because now I'm ready. He's not in that space.

He was not perfect, but I liked everything about him and we had almost everything in common. We loved doing the same things and going to the same places. We both want the same things in life and have the same long term goals. We are the same politically and spiritualy. Even the things where he was different were things that I really needed in my life. He is very organized and structured. I like to be organized but it doesn't come naturally to me. I like to follow someone else's organization. He was awesome with investing and being smart with his money. Something else I need in my life. Money issues give me anxiety attacks and it's my goal to find someone who likes to take care of the money issues. He treated me with so much respect and was a great listener and would remember every word I said. If I said I liked a certain restaurant he would be calling up and making a reservation for the next week and plan out the perfect date. With most men that I meet I am lucky they even make a date in advance let alone make an actual plan and make a reservation. He was supportive of my career and the things I want to do with my life and we would talk for hours about how we wanted our lives to be and when he wasn't pushing me away the sex was awesome too. Do you have any idea how hard these qualities are to find in any person let alone a man? He was treating me the way that I treat other people and the way I deserve to be treated. I felt that we were equal. But....He wasn't in the same place as me because the timing wasn't right. I know he really liked me but just not enough. Who knows. Maybe you are right and he would have been too much and scared ME away if he was in the same place that I was, but I don't think so, because by his actions I did think that he was in the same place until the last couple of weeks and it wasn't scaring me at all. He told me that he was in the same place and I know he wanted it to work and was trying to convince himself that he was in the same place but he just couldn't. I don't know if it was love. It was way too soon to know for sure, but I really saw great potential and I'm having a hard time letting go because of that. There was nothing really bad that happened. I didn't even ever get mad at him even when we were breaking up. I actually really understood what he was going through and have been where he is before so how could I be mad. I'm just sad that it didn't work out and I really wish things could be different.

I don't think that putting all of my cards out on the table at this point when he is just not ready for it will only drive him further away. I'm trying to take it back a notch where we can maybe just have some kind of friendship for now. Like I said, I don't want to run into him (I know I eventually will because we are practically neighbors) and it to be all weird or for him to have to feel bad every time he sees me. I do want to remind him of the good times and not have any bad feelings about wh

Cancerbuddy,

I think Virgo's can be emotional, but they only allow it once or maybe twice. I think once they are hurt they may never love again and that is sad. My Virgo was married for 12 years then he was single for a very long time and then he got into another 5 year relationship. Maybe he just doesn't have another one in him. He told me that he puts 100% into his relationships to the point where he gives up himself which is sooo unhealthy. He doesn't know how to balance being in love and still loving himself at the same time and then he starts to resent the person that he is giving 100% to because he is not meeting his own needs. I'm not sure he will ever get over that because i don't think he is the type who would ever go to therapy or even come and tell strangers on a message board. :-) I get the feeling that all of the stuff he told me on that last night is the most he has ever told anyone in a very long time.

Branh,

You are so 100% on the money and I love how you spoke from your heart. I think you guys are wonderful, but I can't fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed. I don't have the energy for it. I have spent years trying to fix myself and now that I'm starting to feel that I'm fixed I just want something a little easier. I would so love for him to just snap out of it and step up to the plate and it's a nice little fantasy that it might happen and I really hope it happens, but I can't risk all of my own work and go backwards instead of forward. I need someone who is 100% ready to start a life with me. I just wish he was easier to find.

VGM,
How long have you been with your virgo? Did you have any of these problems in the beginning?

Hi Virgogotme,

Yes you have scared me. That is just insane. Are you sure all of that was worth it? It's been over 12 hours and I have not heard back from him and I think that is too long to wait. We didn't even have a fight so I can't believe that he would just never answer the e-mail. I wasn't expecting a whole lot but I did expect a "Thanks and I hope you are well too". He probably won't come back into my life until the moment I forget about him. You asked how old he is. He is 45 years old. I'm 42. I don't have 20+ years to wait and I like him but he is not worth that wait. I have been driving past his house for years on my way home even before I even met him. It's just the route I have always taken. I have been avoiding that route since we broke up and taking a different way home until tonight. I decided that I have to stop avoiding it so I took his street and I could have sworn that his bedroom light was on, but he is supposed to be out of town until late next week. Maybe he just left it on or something when he left. I wish I wouldn't have took that route home because now I have all kind of thoughts going through my head about what is going on with him.

oh glove we are so in the same boat...I broke off with mine on friday and he sent me a e-mail with a apology and it's for the best stuff...did I stick to my guns? nope.I called him on monday and threw myself on his mercy now we have chated pfft once since...he is hurt I'm sure but seems to ignore that I am more so. so anyway the only thing we came up with was being friends so what I did back fired on all fronts anyway.

I hope your virgo will write but don't count on it.

I am a virgo male. I pay attention to how your voice vibrates when you talk,
based on eye contact and body language, I can then tell if you are telling the truth, afraid to tell me the truth, suppressing half the story, or flat out lying, And i'll let you know, because I do this subconciously, and it's like a buzzer goes off every time someone trys to tell it the slightest bit off from how they actually saw it.
Sometimes I'll let it slide when the buzzer goes off, if i'm either not worried about why you skipped something, or just can't be bothered to push it. Some people scare me when others see them as honest, and I feel like i'm playing conversational Opperation with a Marienette. I wonder why the people around don't hear the buzzer, and why I can't ignore it no matter what I try. Before I typed my last sentence, I googled the word Marienette to check my spelling of it. Not because i'm stuck on spelling properly all the time, but because I don't want to have to look it up next time. I seem to think I can ask you any question in my head, and look at you at that quizitive angle, like tuning into you about it, and get my answer without you knowing. This is probably why I don't always trust you. I don't mean for this to be dark, but I don't talk in girly chat rooms often, i'm usually talking about things in computer / video game forums, where most guys talk about my b!tch this and that hoe that. Anyway i'm generally open until I get confused, and then I change the subject. If you have a virgo male, theres a trick, and thats your reward for reading this whole message of likely nonsence. Call it a sample. It's probably gold. When you skip details on your day, make sure he knows that you know he knows you skipped it. He sees this as part of standard communication, and syncronisity. He's not watching you like a hawk, he just likes being on the same page, and feels that if it wasnt important, you wouldnt have skipped it. Geez I really cant explain this in words. I think virgos do more thinking without words than most people. We kindof spin a radio dial and tune into different realities. Any virgos out there know what i'm talking about? Any non virgos out there not know what i'm talking about? There may be a virgo joke hiddin the last 2 lines ahaha.
- Edison83

To: gslove.
I think it's J too, except that I do not think that he can really love you so soon. "No news is good news"! If he would have been completely done with you, he would have responded by now. My guess is that he cares and respects you. Exactly what he told you! Why do you doubt his sincerity——That's why he cannot even fathom the possibilty of hurting you. In a way, his dissapereance act is meant to PROTECT you. And if you really want to know the truth, he is suffering, and agonizing about the "solution".

How he would ultimatelly respond is not predictible. Obviously his self-esteem is shaterred. He thinks that he has nothing to offer to you! My advice, be his friend, be there for me, let him know that you understand what he goes trough. Tell him that you like him anyway, and that you do not expect nothing from him. Calm his insecurities!

Presure, acusations, unrequited love feelings would just push him away for good.

Be cool, stay cool, and I sincerely hope that things will work out for you two.
If after 8 years, he is the first man for whom you have feelings, and if he was romantically involved with you, after only a couple of months of the death of a major relationship, SPEAKS VOLUMES.

Hope this helps.

Hi Excess,

Thank you so much. You must be a Virgo because you seem to know him pretty well. :-) I really appreciate what you said and it does make me feel better. I just hope he will respond some time so that I will have that chance to be his friend. I agree with you. I think if he didn't care at all he would have just sent me a quick Thanks and that would be it. Maybe I'm just forgetting what it's like to be that scared to move on and that's why I can't understand him. I have been there before but it was so long ago. I was scared of this one too, but not in the same way. I also wanted to take things very slow, but I think he thought I was wanting much more and that I was moving fast. I wasn't though, I was just being myself. He had no idea how scared I really was until that last conversation. I hope that he got that it was why that whole conversation started in the first place was because of my fears. I knew how that conversation was going to end up but I did it anyway. I let my fears get the best of me. I wasn't expecting that he would love me so soon. I knew he couldn't possibly be ready for anything to happen fast which was probably one of the reasons I was attracted to him in the first place. I was glad that it would move slowly. We started out just having fun, but then that got complicated and it wasn't so much fun anymore. I started to feel like I couldn't be myself around him anymore. I was afraid that every move I was making he was taking too seriously and that I was scaring him away and I was afraid to be affectionate with him and I was afraid of being rejected by him. I could feel him pulling away and I just wanted to make it be over so that I wouldn't get hurt so I forced that conversation. Now I really regret it though. Everything happens for a reason so I guess it wasn't a mistake but I just wish he had just talked to me about his fears, I would have understood and I would have been there for him. It was not knowing what was going through his head that was driving me crazy.

I know, you can tell by Excess and Branh that there is definitely some depth of emotions.Those guys are great!!

I'm a Virgo female.... affected for the second time in my life by the opposite sex of my own zodiac....They (Virgo men) are like giant boulders you spend alot of time chiseling away at that rock getting them to unveil what lies deep down inside. I dont believe that there into mind games but they truly are very self protective. If you get to intense trying to pursued them they will ask themselves one big question "WHY" looking and expecting a logical answer and love is hardly logical, this mixture sends them into hidding and pondering and when they get no answer they believe it makes no sense or is not true and worth it.
This time around I've been successful by being patient. Its like luring a wild bird to sit in your hand everyday you leave crumbs a little closer and they slowly venture out they never make sense of it but they learn they are not in mortal danger and it doesnt hurt.

I'm a male virgo, and god fatalbutterfly that was hot.
Man virgo girls are just dynamite to me, I met one once and told her flat out,
we would never get along because we had too much in common. We liked the same music,
same movies, I saw her bedroom and it was like my other side decorated it. It wasn't girly, but it had a feminine touch. Fucking hot, but I saw it start to go down hill when I told her she looked like Paris Hilton! Well it was kindof a sly stab, but I figured she'd pull off a better reaction. She kindof didn't see me for a while after that, I mean, she walked past me but I wasn't there. Ahhh say la vie. We had cool eye contact like, "ahaha, look at these idiots" kindof like we were on the nebercanezer ship from the matrix plugged in and in a seperate perception. Man, it was awesome cause I'd never had that feeling of "I'm with you." Unfortionatly I broke it with the Paris thing I think. And once it's broken you can't un-break it. Too bad when man meets monkeys, he shows them how to talk, when their form of communication is likely much more subtle. 😉
- Edison83