16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 45 YEARS TO LEARN:

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice person.
(This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

funny....🙂

The last one is funny.

Anyway, noted and saved.

"The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers"

You burst my bubble big time 😢 where's my alcohol?

Don?t know about alcohol... but I can offer you some warm cup of tea? Russian Lady grey..— if it?s help?.?

I am glad that your bubble got busted?.and I am glad that you admit it? you know? not many does?. And not many are ready and sincere, expressive enough with their own personal feelings..

You take care lady?..

Yes I admit it, but being in denial never helped anyone but the ignorant. I don't want to be that driver who drives around with her nose up high (unless I'm on an overbridge) thinking that getting flipped off is a sign of jelousy when... (wipes tear) it's not... (full fledged bawling) I'll take that cup of tea now (sniffles)

I feel so much better, ready for the road ahead 🙂

Hey just curious, what does your username stand for? The letter 'Q'

She got flipped off because she just cut me off,grr don't mess with a vengeful scorp.🙂

"You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment."

Are you calling me fat?:S

Tiamat?.

I did not meant to call anyone FAT, but if you feel like one.. ??.so what??
You are still "tiamat" and everyone loves you as the way you are ?thin or fat?.
If not...??.. to hell with them.

🙂

Nah im skronny,I was kidding.