The Virgo Recluse

The Virgo I'm smitten with has a lot of folks he calls friends, but these guys are all business associates. He doesn't hang out with any of them, its all business. Most guys I've met are, by no means, like this. I'm who he chooses to hang out with (yet, he still has me assist him in business so I don't think he can't separate the two on some level). So, why me? Why does he choose to hang out with me on almost a daily basis and not his guy friends? NO, this isn't a does he like me post, I already got that (and its not a complaint on any level) - I'm just wondering about him being such a recluse and selectivity with regards to whom he associates with outside of work (which is 24/7 essentially). If I'm not with him, he is off by himself. And, yes, I "found" him this way and chalked it up (after the fact) to being a Virgo trait. But, I'm wondering whether his reclusivness, in general, is Virgo (and, he IS textbook Virgo) or possibly something deeper.

Thoughts?

Posted by lildol
The Virgo I'm smitten with has a lot of folks he calls friends, but these guys are all business associates. He doesn't hang out with any of them, its all business. Most guys I've met are, by no means, like this. I'm who he chooses to hang out with (yet, he still has me assist him in business so I don't think he can't separate the two on some level). So, why me? Why does he choose to hang out with me on almost a daily basis and not his guy friends?

Thoughts?

It's because you have boobies.... d'uh

LOL Caj.

Posted by Cajunspirit

Posted by lildol
The Virgo I'm smitten with has a lot of folks he calls friends, but these guys are all business associates. He doesn't hang out with any of them, its all business. Most guys I've met are, by no means, like this. I'm who he chooses to hang out with (yet, he still has me assist him in business so I don't think he can't separate the two on some level). So, why me? Why does he choose to hang out with me on almost a daily basis and not his guy friends?

Thoughts?

It's because you have boobies.... d'uh

click to expand

😛

But seriously, you are his new friend. They are his old friends.
You are female, they are male.
You seem interested in him, he seems interested in you.
Virgos operate on focus, you are his new focus.
He's involving you in his personal life, his business, you're within his circle.

Is he all business with you? Probably not... that makes you stand out.
Maybe these other associates don't do things non-business related with him well.

Virgos are naturally reclusive/hermit like. I am a textbook Virgo.

It's so obvious. So there's your confirmation if you need it.

What's being said does seem to hold true. He does tell me to trust no one (what I take from that is that he trusts no one) and those folks he does call his friends he feels take advantage of him. He gets very frustrated when he goes out of his way for someone and they in-turn either do not appreciate it or will not reciprocate in some fashion - then again, does he appreciate or realize when someone does do something for him? This IDK. I sometimes remind him to tell me thank you or that he better appreciate whatever - I, of course, personally want the recognition that I did whatever, but I also want him to realize that not everyone is after something (tangible) from him. He quietly responds accordingly, but I don't think he thinks it without the prodding. That's another thing, when I bring something to the forefront, the realization brings forth almost a meek acknowledgment, as if he is hanging his head and saying 'you're right'. (but, of course I'm right, I'm a Cap and a woman LOL)

He said something last night jokingly, despite knowing he was joking, my automatic response was "do you trust me?" he hugged me and said of course he trusts me (I could actually FEEL the honesty and genuineness of it), then he got mad I even asked. I told him sometimes it's nice to have validation (that didn't go over well either - after all I should know already). Given that he is always going on about not trusting anyone, I guess I just wanted to be reassured I'm not somehow lumped into the rest. I KNOW I'm not, but somewhere in the recesses of my mind I am insecure and I know this is where that response came from. Per what Kaleidescorp said, I would agree the bar is set pretty high, and he seems to test people to gauge their value/worth in terms of honesty, integrity and sincerity - he's only referred to one other person, other than myself, as genuine.

Something else Kaleidescorp said: "He also told me once that he assesses all of his relationships (intimate and otherwise) to see just what it is that he gets out of the relationship" - I see this in my Virgo too, there is always a purpose or underlying reason to his interactions/relationships; I'm not sure what his drive toward me is or, rather, what purpose I serve unless, of course, it's what Caj said - 'cause I got boobies 😛

Posted by lildol
He gets very frustrated when he goes out of his way for someone and they in-turn either do not appreciate it or will not reciprocate in some fashion

A testament he is a Virgo.

I, of course, personally want the recognition that I did whatever, but I also want him to realize that not everyone is after something (tangible) from him. He quietly responds accordingly, but I don't think he thinks it without the prodding. That's another thing, when I bring something to the forefront, the realization brings forth almost a meek acknowledgment, as if he is hanging his head and saying 'you're right'. (but, of course I'm right, I'm a Cap and a woman LOL)

Testament you are a Capricorn.

He said something last night jokingly, despite knowing he was joking, my automatic response was "do you trust me?" he hugged me and said of course he trusts me (I could actually FEEL the honesty and genuineness of it), then he got mad I even asked. I told him sometimes it's nice to have validation (that didn't go over well either - after all I should know already). Given that he is always going on about not trusting anyone, I guess I just wanted to be reassured I'm not somehow lumped into the rest. I KNOW I'm not, but somewhere in the recesses of my mind I am insecure and I know this is where that response came from.

Testament you are female.
Do you admit to him your insecurity and need for reassurance?

This can be frustrating for any man. We know that you KNOW better, yet you persist.

Something else Kaleidescorp said: "He also told me once that he assesses all of his relationships (intimate and otherwise) to see just what it is that he gets out of the relationship"

Truth.

I see this in my Virgo too, there is always a purpose or underlying reason to his interactions/relationships; I'm not sure what his drive toward me is or, rather, what purpose I serve

click to expand

Purpose is the word.
Underlying reason, not so much. Save that for dishonest signs and Scorpios.

He either sees potential in you or keeps you around for amusement.

Amusement, I'm sure!!! 😄

I give him someone to laugh AT, someone to tickle, someone to poke, pinch and wrestle with...

Posted by lildol
I give him someone to laugh AT, someone to tickle, someone to poke, pinch and wrestle with...

Damn, I'm jealous! 😛

You should be!!! 😉

awwww so cute im gonna puke lmao.

sigh i should write again.

And this brings me to the whole wrestling thing... not since I was a teenager has a man wanted to slap box and wrestle with me, this man is in his 40s, what's up with the whole 'playing' like that—? (not complaining, I guess I like the attention, and I enjoy engaging him, but I don't understand it.... it doesn't turn to sex either, although that does get me thinking that this could be to my advantage if I let him take me LOL)

Posted by LeGendary ViRGo


awwww so cute im gonna puke lmao.

sigh i should write again.

you're jealous too... awww LOL 😛

Posted by lildol

Posted by LeGendary ViRGo


awwww so cute im gonna puke lmao.

sigh i should write again.

you're jealous too... awww LOL 😛

click to expand

u really think so i think otherwise lmao.

@LV *hugs* (boobies and all)

Posted by lildol
@LV *hugs* (boobies and all)

see i knew u secretly e-loved me lmfao.

^^^ I am so sure I have said so elsewhere... 😉

Posted by lildol
^^^ I am so sure I have said so elsewhere... 😉

hahahaha ur crazy but i like that lol.

I speak from the heart... actually not, it's all in my head!

I have no heart... that is, if ask a few Leo's in my life LOL

Posted by lildol
I have no heart... that is, if ask a few Leo's in my life LOL

im sure u have a heart under all that Capricorn ice lmao.

Actually, I'm a lot like a kitten, pet me just right and I'll purrrrrrrrr.... LOL

I did NOT just say that!

Posted by lildol
I did NOT just say that!

lmfao virgos can bring things outta people especially those with a venus in libra lmfao.

I separate people from my work environment from my "outside" work environment on purpose. I see enough of them during work time that I find it more beneficial to make sure I'm with others not associated with work. Helps my sanity and honestly, if you get in the habit of CONSTANTLY associating with people from work outside of work, you'll never meet anyone in different circles.

Posted by VirgoHero
I separate people from my work environment from my "outside" work environment on purpose. I see enough of them during work time that I find it more beneficial to make sure I'm with others not associated with work. Helps my sanity and honestly, if you get in the habit of CONSTANTLY associating with people from work outside of work, you'll never meet anyone in different circles.

i agree with you work is work play is play u gotta separate the two.

i wouldnt wanna befriend people on my job besides a co-worker level.

Posted by VirgoHero
I separate people from my work environment from my "outside" work environment on purpose. I see enough of them during work time that I find it more beneficial to make sure I'm with others not associated with work. Helps my sanity and honestly, if you get in the habit of CONSTANTLY associating with people from work outside of work, you'll never meet anyone in different circles.

To my knowledge, I am the only person he associates with outside his line of work... and he is, on certain levels, trying to immerse me in that - makes sense, I guess, its the only thing he knows, it is his life.

Posted by lildol
And this brings me to the whole wrestling thing... not since I was a teenager has a man wanted to slap box and wrestle with me, this man is in his 40s, what's up with the whole 'playing' like that—? (not complaining, I guess I like the attention, and I enjoy engaging him, but I don't understand it.... it doesn't turn to sex either, although that does get me thinking that this could be to my advantage if I let him take me LOL)

We try to let out our inner child with those we really like. So it's obvious how he feels about you 🙂