Told me to come spend the summer then ignored me

I don't know what's going on with this virgo and I'm really hurt. I knew this virgo online for about six months working together on advertising. We would chat every day, flirt and email back and forth. He was going to spend the summer working as a camp counsellor and told me he wanted me to come too (we live in different countries). I was reluctant, but he said it would be so great to finally meet each other and to work together and hang out. He was emailing every day and I finally said ok I will come.

So I went to work in the camp and he sent me all the details before I left and helped to arrange it and then for some bizarre reason from the first moment he was really standoffish with me. He talked to everyone else except for me and basically ignored me. He didn't ask how my trip was, ask how I was or want to spend any time with me. It's not that he suddenly realised I was ugly, because he knew what I looked like from Facebook.

I tried to talk to him many times, but he wasn't interested and would laugh and joke with everyone else around me. It hurt me so much and I asked him why he was ignoring me and he said I was just being too sensitive. I don't think it's too sensitive to want to say hello and how are you and to greet someone when they see them after having been in contact every day for six months and him arranging for me to come to the camp.

Finally he asked me to coffee and we went and then he referenced about six times in only 30 minutes his girlfriend. I didn't know he had a girlfriend, cause he was so flirtatious with me. He mentioned her again and again and I felt so uncomfortable. She lives in another city and he goes to visit her every weekend since we've been working at the camp.

What is going on?

He's letting you know he's not into you. Did he say that he was interested in getting to know you as a potential girlfriend?

Posted by LunarMaiden
He's letting you know he's not into you. Did he say that he was interested in getting to know you as a potential girlfriend?

No, but we were flirting a lot and it seemed that he was interested. Even if he wasn't, I didn't pursue him when I got here, I just wanted to say hello and he didn't even do that. Why be so persistent about me coming here? I am so hurt and confused.

that sucks 😢

Posted by caligula
that sucks 😢

Thanks Caligula . It does suck. It's strange. Even if he didn't want to get together, I would have been very happy just to have a hello and a conversation in real life. He shouldn't have organised my trip if he didn't want to speak to me. 😢

based on what you described, it would seem that he had every intent of connecting with you when you arrived. i know you said that he saw your pics on FB, but maybe in spite of that, you weren't what he expected physically. i mean, what else is there to judge you on besides the physical given that you two never really spoke?

not saying that you're unattractive, but something physical may have turned him off and given he's a virgo, maybe he just didn't like your shoes 😛

or maybe he's a spazz. some of them can be spastic as hell and are uncomfortable in unfamiliar settings. in this case, being around a woman that doesn't require an air pump...that makes them uncomfortable.

Posted by caligula
based on what you described, it would seem that he had every intent of connecting with you when you arrived. i know you said that he saw your pics on FB, but maybe in spite of that, you weren't what he expected physically. i mean, what else is there to judge you on besides the physical given that you two never really spoke?

not saying that you're unattractive, but something physical may have turned him off and given he's a virgo, maybe he just didn't like your shoes 😛

or maybe he's a spazz. some of them can be spastic as hell and are uncomfortable in unfamiliar settings. in this case, being around a woman that doesn't require an air pump...that makes them uncomfortable.

No I fully understand what you are saying. I agree - maybe he didn't like me physically. That's sad. 😢

What a piece of crap he is.
Its one thing not to be into you once youve met in person its a whole other thing to treat you as if you werent even wanted. Instead of making you feel welcomed he made you feel like an outsider as he joked and laughed with his friends.
Dont worry, shit goes around and he will be humiliated even worse someday, and as a Virgo male myself, humiliation comes with a heavy price especially if it comes from someone you truly love.

Just know that not all virgo males are like that.

Posted by wgamador2
What a piece of crap he is.
Its one thing not to be into you once youve met in person its a whole other thing to treat you as if you werent even wanted. Instead of making you feel welcomed he made you feel like an outsider as he joked and laughed with his friends.
Dont worry, shit goes around and he will be humiliated even worse someday, and as a Virgo male myself, humiliation comes with a heavy price especially if it comes from someone you truly love.

Just know that not all virgo males are like that.

Thanks wgamador, you're really sweet. That is what made me feel the saddest, just that he was so friendly online and then in person just laughing with others and looking over at me to see me just confused and sad.

Posted by PiscesLeoAquarius

Posted by wgamador2
What a piece of crap he is.
Its one thing not to be into you once youve met in person its a whole other thing to treat you as if you werent even wanted. Instead of making you feel welcomed he made you feel like an outsider as he joked and laughed with his friends.
Dont worry, shit goes around and he will be humiliated even worse someday, and as a Virgo male myself, humiliation comes with a heavy price especially if it comes from someone you truly love.

Just know that not all virgo males are like that.

Thanks wgamador, you're really sweet. That is what made me feel the saddest, just that he was so friendly online and then in person just laughing with others and looking over at me to see me just confused and sad.

click to expand

Dont ever talk to that piece of shit ever again.

This guy is now ignoring me completely at camp. He just glares at me when I see him. So now at least I know definitely that he has either mental problems or is just a horrible person. so hurtful.

One word....RUDE.
Doesn't matter what sign he is, I think he's just not interested too. Maybe he saw your FB pics thought he was interested but when you showed up not so much. That is what I am thinking. Again not to say that you are ugly but how old are your FB pics? How recent are they? Have you gained/lost any weight since then? The reason I ask is because men are very visual and the slightest change can throw them off and not be interested.

I really believe Virgo guys are picky when it comes to a woman physically. I once met a virgo guy he loved my face said i was very beautiful but he also told me if I would just lose some more weight I would be a knockout, um I thought I was physically good, lol. I think thats pretty cold if you ask me.

My pics are all recent, like updated every few days when people tag me, but I guess I only accept good pics so I don't know. I'm just normal height and weight - 5'6'' and 125 lbs.

Posted by PiscesLeoAquarius
My pics are all recent, like updated every few days when people tag me, but I guess I only accept good pics so I don't know. I'm just normal height and weight - 5'6'' and 125 lbs.

You know what hun forget that ass, Is he really That HOT to even have an authority to say you look good or not—
No one can tell you that you're not beautiful... the best to do enhance what you have...No need to replace anything about you you just need to let the pig see what he missed out on and Put on your smile hun 🙂 the more you let him see how much he affected the more he thinks he's that special ( NOT!!!).

the best that had happened at least you didnt fell in love with a jerk like that.

Funny how people let their imaginings go .... here you have people getting all defensive about him saying you're not beautiful, when in reality .. he never mentioned it .. you did.

Read people, read, stop, comprehend ... then go to next sentence.


Now, look between the lines .... he already had his girlfriend, he didn't just get her and then make a decision about the thread creator after she got there.


::: shakes head :::

Posted by PiscesLeoAquarius

I don't know what's going on with this virgo and I'm really hurt. I knew this virgo online for about six months working together on advertising. We would chat every day, flirt and email back and forth. He was going to spend the summer working as a camp counsellor and told me he wanted me to come too (we live in different countries). I was reluctant, but he said it would be so great to finally meet each other and to work together and hang out. He was emailing every day and I finally said ok I will come.

There is nothing in there ^^^^^^ that suggests that he had an interest in you besides friends. In fact, he said it would be fun to work together.

Obviously, your head was in a bubble .. and you unrealistically believed something that wasn't there. Why should he be damned that you allowed yourself to be confused?

Try to be accountible for your own actions.

The only person who put you on that plane was you, and you lie when you say you didn't expect anything except a hello ..... because you know damn well that you expected an intimate relationship with him.

Try being real.

Why didn't he "mention" his gf when he was emailing back and forth? He had a change of heart apparently AFTER she got to the camp. He definitely hoped for a relationship with her, that is obvious. If it was just friendly, he would have shook her hand, been smiling and telling all his friends that she was a "friend" he invited from another country to help out. His attitude alone makes it obvious he was disappointed in her as in a romantic way. What a loser!

It's not you--it's him. This behavior is quite common among the online community, you have to be very careful because there are guys that get some kind of weird thrill off of getting a woman to come to his country/city/town, it's not YOU they want, it's the affirmation that he's special/important that he wants, a lot of the women who encounter these kind of situations feel jilted in some way because the man comes on full on online and then when she's physically in his presence he play games, gaslight (create situations to make you feel unwanted such as ignoring you and then turn around and tell you you're too sensitive) but the reality is he's being insensitive and PROJECTING that onto you because there absolutely no way he could be the one being the jerk because he's perfect so it must be you.

I haven't read all of the comments but get rid of the assclown and be more discerning who you meet online and if you should spend an exorbitant amount of your time and money going to see him, make sure he's footing the bill in some way as in INVESTING in you so it won't be a complete loss for you. When a man invest in a woman financially, emotionally, mentally he's more apt to try and make it work were as a man that doesn't lift a finger doesn't care about you or your feelings.

There is an alternative view on this situation as well, he felt your expectations and he backed off and when some men back off they can be really mean and apathetic in the process. Clearly he failed to tell you he had a girlfriend but he didn't lie, he just didn't tell you.

I don't know if you assumed he would be there for you and spend a good deal of his time with you but clearly you failed to ask the right questions, made some assumptions so although he wasn't forthcoming well you weren't either, you didn't say to him what you expected from him so he could clarify to you what he was thinking and expecting out of the whole ordeal. Since you didn't know he had a girlfriend I can only assume you never asked (I apologize in advance if you asked and he lied but if that's not the case then I would suggest you be CLEAR about what you expect so a man can know if he can meet your expectations.

Seems you 2 never clarified what the agenda was for the meeting, women get hurt when she assumes she is on the same page with a guy.

Chalk it up to experience and move on, learn from it all and apply it to your next encounter with the next guy, it's easy to feel jilted in these kind of situations but if you're honest with yourself you'll most likely recognize how YOU'RE behavior contributed to the outcome as well.