Virgo guys can anyone help?

ok this is my problem.... i need advice please.. i have been in a sexual relationship for 3 yrs with a virgo man now quite frankly it seems to have been booty calls but the last yr he has been more open and comfy but i have told him how much i love him and he had his heart broke many yrs ago and says he will never love again,when we are together its not just a bang and leave we spend the night together every time, i know he has to care somewhat right? i mean 3 yrs is a long time and i have been the only girl in 2 yrs until recently he said he was with another girl the other day but he was dissapointed when he was with the other one because and i quote even tho we are only sexual we are a perfect fit.. but when i tried to tell him it bothered me he said he didnt want to hear it ( not in a bad way) and we are not together every night it used to be every 3 months but past yr it has been alot more often but when i ask him out to do something he always has an excuse to not actually hang outand i dont mean in public i just mean anything , when he is over we talk for hours before we even have sex and the sex part is 100% totally awesome but then he will ignore me for days after. my question is will there ever be anything other than sex and will he ever be secure enough for a realtionship with me? am i just a booty call after 3 yrs? oh yea he is younger than me but i am 38 and he is almost 28 please help me anyone but preferrably a virgo guy mite be able to shed some light my bday is oct 28 1970 and his is aug 31 1983

i have told him before that i need something more or for him to let me go,at that point he told we were nothing and to move on but then 2 days later he writes me wanting to come over. i dont know if that was his way of saying ok i will give a lil more or just ok i want more booty?

it was his way of saying that he wanted more booty. obviously, he likes sex with you. he's comfortable and you're a good fit.

however, his actions are saying that he doesn't want anything more at this point in time. my advice to you would be, if you truly do have other prospects, then go ahead and take mike's advice. but if you don't, then don't play games. be honest with yourself and with him.

decide what you want from this. do you want great sex with no commitment? because that's what you're going to get from this guy. if you can live with that, then continue to be at his beck and call. if you can't, then you really need to move on.

im ok with the way it is right now altho i would like it more often.. things are just so different like with him telling me he was with another woman, i mean why tell me? and then i asked him to take me fishing and he saay he would but he would rather take my kids? i mean why involve the kids any more than what they already are?

oh and by the way hes in a band and he lives his life not like a 28 yr old he would rather stay home to a good movie than go party he is a homebody.. dont know if that makes a difference

1.) you say that you're ok with the way it is right now, but it doesn't seem to me that you are because you're looking for reasons that he might want more. he told you that you were nothing, that should be enough for you to know he's not willing to commit.

2.) you shouldn't let your kids get more involved with this man unless he becomes more serious about the two of you. this is very unlikely to happen, so you should probably just keep him out of your family life to avoid confusion and frustration.

my kids have been involved to a point he teaches my 16 yr old guitar, plays video games and watches movies when hes here with my other ones.. i dont know if i can just break it off i enjoy what we do have and dont want to lose it but on the other hand i would like something more and the more he comes over and is a lil more comfy each time makes me want to go another step... im so confused

i think u might be right i just dont know how strong i can be 3 yrs to me is a long time, if i told him it was over he would still call in a few days hes done it before..

lol its not even every few days, it used to be every 3 months now maybe once a month. he got a g/f a yr after we started but it didnt last long before he was coming back. thats the thing when he got her i said to myself doesnt matter he will be back cause i know2 no matter what sooner or later he will. messed up way of thinking i know...

i know i guess i was hoping that someone could give me some hope but i dont think there is any

lol

Posted by dolphinlv32
i know i guess i was hoping that someone could give me some hope but i dont think there is any

There is help but it is a hard way. You should study who he is and guess what could change his opinion.

I give you an example. There are 50 hair cuts. You guess he would find 15 of them nice. You personally find 3 of them nice. So you try the three new hair cuts and study what his reaction is.

And among 5000 subjects of talks, you guess he prefers 1700 of them, out of these 1700 you prefer 300. So you learn to talk about these 300 subjects.

Then you should adapt how you earn and how much.

Also you need to guess which type of friends or circle of acquaintances he would prefer. Out of that mass you check what you would like for yourself. etc. etc.

If you wanna keep somebody interested you need lots of work. At the end you may fall in love with yourself because you have been such a creative great personality.

Nevertheless I am not joking. do it if you love him. If you think you have no power then you do not love him or he has no good influence on you. he's keeping you small...maybe...maybe not...you are the only one who can check this.

ok so i told him i cant just be a booty call anymore and that i felt this hole thing was based on lies, i also told him not to contact me anymore unless he was willing to take things another step... the thing is i know he will think about this and then he will write me again wanting to hang out meaning hook up at night. should i think its still a booty call if he does or that hes willing to go the extra step—

should i think its still a booty call if he does or that hes willing to go the extra step—

(when he gets back to you)Think what you will think. You cannot turn off your impressions, can you? Feel and see what it will be. Your impression is always the most important factor. otherwise you would not come here and ask for advice. Follow your own judgement. Is it what make you motivated and optimistic and gives you energy for working for future?

when he said we are nothing let me just say i have heard that before with him and this is his way backing away when he gets close,and i should have mentioned it before but all his friends know about us and fyi his best friend is a woman(lesbian)so i kinda feel i have competition because even tho i satisfy him in the bed she can satisfy all the other needs of a partner like companionship and so on.its hard for me to understand that its a booty call when he now will come over at 6 pm and hang out till bedtime at 10-1030 maybe im just fooling myself idk

dolphinlv32 why not accept the relationship for what it is, because you are onviously NOT going to change his mind, and hunt for a man who is going to give you what you want?

That way you don't have to cut the sex off and you can still look for Mr. Right. The truth is he's winning here, you have lossed the power and control over this relationship. For once take it back and let him work for it.

IMO cut off the sex and attract another man. There are at least 3 billio men out there. The odds are good.

LOL..too true!!

Ummmmm yeah its only a booty call and you're fooling yourself into thinking its anymore...no matter how much you want it, its just not going to happen with this guy.

Have "the talk" if you want but it would seem that after 3 years he hasnt made any commitment, he's comfortable, he's not had to work for it.....pick up your self respect and find somebody who will give you the love that you deserve. many of us have had relationships similar.....we all know what you're going through but 3 years? What are you thinking?