Virgo is Back

I had posted in the Spring about my experience with a Virgo. So, I was finally able to move on and started dating someone else and didn't contact Virguy anymore. Well, about 2 weeks goes by and I get an email from him, he messed up his phone, lost all his contacts, got a new phone, and he said to keep in touch/text him with my #. So, instead of texting him, I just replied to his email and gave him my #. He texted me the next day and since then he has had casual contact, checking in with me every couple of days. My sister said this is typical of a guy who cannot/does not want to get serious with someone, that he's keeping his options open.

We discussed getting together a few times, he, as usual, was still too busy, and then things with someone else became exclusive and I want to give this new guy a chance/not screw things up. I asked him if he is fine with me staying in touch with a guy that I dated, and he said yes because he has female friends too. So, when Virguy asked me to meet for dinner, I told him that I would love to see him, I enjoy talking to him/like him and his friendship, but that keeping things platonic is best for me right now. He said that is totally cool. He knows that I went on dates, but never asked me more about it and I haven't gotten into detail about having a new guy. I'm assuming that he may just want to keep me around, realized how "loyal" I am and that I really liked him and maybe he's not finding anyone else that will put up with him. If he wants more than a friendship, then my guess is when he finds out I'm "with" someone else that he will not talk to me anymore. What I want is a friendship, I respected and admired him, he gave me a lot of advice about things, I felt that we helped each other a lot because of our common situations in life (kids, etc).

Told ya he'd be back as soon as you had someone else!...LOL. Me and my ex Virgo are talking and I actually saw him last Wednesday...not back together though (yet)

How is him wanting to be friends coming back —

She has moved on, he is fine with that ... and you equate that to him running back to her because she found someone else?



this site is full of bunch of idiots .. or maybe it's 95% of the world

Posted by dietdrpepper

.... since then he has had casual contact, checking in with me every couple of days. My sister said this is typical of a guy who cannot/does not want to get serious with someone, that he's keeping his options open.

We discussed getting together a few times, he, as usual, was still too busy

I enjoy talking to him/like him and his friendship, but that keeping things platonic is best for me right now. He said that is totally cool. He knows that I went on dates, but never asked me more about it

How in the hell are figuring that ^^^ to mean he is back?

Sounds to me like you want him to want you back .. but, he doesn't ... and so that's why you told him about meeting someone else, then asking him if it's ok for you to talk to this other guy.


guess it really got under your skin when he said he was cool with it ... didn't it?

There is no reason for you to even "ask" him if it's ok for you to proceed with your life ... unless you were anticipating a response, which includes him being jealous in some fashion.


Seriously, you say he's back ... then proceed to describe a situation in which he doesn't care to want you, while you try to bait into wanting you, in which you fail and don't seem to notice

Why does it say there are 4 replies but I only see 1?

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Someone's on block (or was that dry humour) ?

ahh, forgot about the block!
Just to be clear, what I meant was about 6 or so weeks ago, I told Virguy that I've went on dates, that was the truth, there was nothing more than a few 1st dates, until things got a little more "serious" the last couple of weeks with the new Cap guy. I told CAP (not Virguy) I'm seeing that I'm still in touch with someone I dated, and he had no problem with it. The reason I told him is because we've talked about being exclusive, and he has told me about his close friend who happens to be a female. I meant it when I told Virguy that I'd meet up with him for dinner because I like him and his friendship, but "platonic" is best for me, I don't want him to have any expectations other than conversation and dinner. I didn't tell the Virgo that I'm seeing someone exclusively yet...he didn't ask but when I mentioned platonic, he said that's totally cool. So, I posted because I'm wondering what it is, as Virguy, that he wants, will he be okay with just a friendship where he doesn't anything physical from me? Will he stop talking to me if he finds out I have a new guy and don't want anything physical with him? Do I reveal the information or wait til he asks? Am I leading him on in anyway? I don't want him "back" in that way, he wasn't the right guy for me nor was he available, and he was clear about not being able to do much for me.

Jesus Christ ... you attempt to try and sound I'm on block ... then you justify yourself according to what I said.


People are fucking pathetic .... what a waste of life-form.



You playing these men agaisnt each other .... as soon as the Virgo realizes you are the trash he suspects you to be, you will never hear from him again. Hopefully, Cap will follow suit.

dietdrpepper you need to be real with the virguy and cappy its like your hanging them on a string , why meet with virguy if you want friendship ...First of all even though virguy might hear you say u want friendship....lets be real now a man is only gonna stick around if he wants some ass or he thinks there is potential for a relationship...been there done that if you want cappy you gotta just let go virguy ...not meaning cutting all communications but all this going out and dinner crap cut it out you are giving him a mixed signal your saying something different with you mouth but then your actions speaks different.....

Posted by awesomevirgyal
dietdrpepper you need to be real with the virguy and cappy its like your hanging them on a string , why meet with virguy if you want friendship ...First of all even though virguy might hear you say u want friendship....lets be real now a man is only gonna stick around if he wants some ass or he thinks there is potential for a relationship...been there done that if you want cappy you gotta just let go virguy ...not meaning cutting all communications but all this going out and dinner crap cut it out you are giving him a mixed signal your saying something different with you mouth but then your actions speaks different.....

I am not interested in the Virgo guy anymore. I just want to know WHY a Virgo would come "back", but only slightly, like he stays in touch by text, but with no consistency. What does HE want from ME?!?? I want to know what he is thinking, what his intentions/hopes might be. Am I giving him mixed signals by responding to his texts, really? Is he keeping his options open? Is he just bored sometimes and says hello?

thanks thomas, so if that is why virgo is sending me occasional texts, then i won't respond to him. it's funny though because does he REALLY think i'm going to hang out with him occasionally for sex?!? i'm trying to do the right thing here, do not want to play games, trying to correct myself and see where i can change, and really just want to have a healthy, functional relationship and since Cappy has shown me that he is available for that (at least for now he's there for a serious relationship - yes I just said that, call me jaded), well i'm not gonna mess that up.

Okay Thomas1214 now please go work your magic in LibraLove's thread. Thanks in advance.

Posted by thomas1214

Posted by dietdrpepper
thanks thomas, so if that is why virgo is sending me occasional texts, then i won't respond to him. it's funny though because does he REALLY think i'm going to hang out with him occasionally for sex?!? i'm trying to do the right thing here, do not want to play games, trying to correct myself and see where i can change, and really just want to have a healthy, functional relationship and since Cappy has shown me that he is available for that (at least for now he's there for a serious relationship - yes I just said that, call me jaded), well i'm not gonna mess that up.

thomas gives two thumbs up!! good luck

click to expand

Thank you!

-signed a 35 yo women taking advice from a 21 yo man! LOL

Thomas just broke it all the way down lol...+1 for Thomas

I'm curious why would you want friendship with a man that you carry romantic feelings for? Does'nt make sense to keep him around as a friend when deep down you want him beyond friendship...That's if you'll be honest with yourself about your true feelings opposed to the superficial feelings of friendship, you can't just flip off romantic feelings like that, not that I expect you to.

Posted by tiki33
Thomas just broke it all the way down lol...+1 for Thomas

I'm curious why would you want friendship with a man that you carry romantic feelings for? Does'nt make sense to keep him around as a friend when deep down you want him beyond friendship...That's if you'll be honest with yourself about your true feelings opposed to the superficial feelings of friendship, you can't just flip off romantic feelings like that, not that I expect you to.

Well, I guess if I'm honest with myself, there are some lingering romantic feelings, maybe because of the way it ended, or just because we had some sort of "connection". However, I'm over wanting to be with him in that way because 1) I knew all along that he wasn't the right guy for me (there were a lot of red flags but I guess I just continued to see him because we did get along and have fun together) and 2) because I am now seeing someone that is really, really great and I'm much more compatible with him than the Virgo. I can't help but just analyze the Virgo though, I really want to know what he is thinking. I guess maybe I want to, for some reason, believe that I was/am special to him in some way that he decided to remain in touch. His reasons for not staying involved with me had, according to him, nothing to do with me. I believe that, he was/is not in a point in his life to be a bf to anyone.

The virgo wasn't a great lover and probably isn't all that great of a friend if you're really honest with yourself. Isn't it convenient that your virgo ex is gun-ho about you once you become UNAVAILABLE. Why? Because he's UNAVAILABLE and too busy to develop anything real with you and here you are still secretly pining and hoping and the reality is, this virgo guy will never be with you, developing a relationship isn't a priority for him and you weren't a priority then and you most likely aren't going to be a priority later. Also he wants sex, yep, he's hoping you give him sex, men that don't prioritize developing strong relationships have sex as an agenda.

"My sister said this is typical of a guy who cannot/does not want to get serious with someone, that he's keeping his options open. "

Your sister is right and the easiest way to remain single is to date women who are tied down with somebody else. It's easier for him to be around you now b/c he doesn't have to feel the pressure of giving you a relationship, now I'm sure he appears to be super into you but the reality is he's comfortable, the minute you stop dating this new guy and turn all of your focus back onto him he'll be too busy for you.

You have a great guy, someone that is mature enough to be okay with you going out on dates with male friends...Don't fuck it up for a loser.

thanks thomas +1 🙂

Posted by dietdrpepper

Posted by tiki33
Thomas just broke it all the way down lol...+1 for Thomas

I'm curious why would you want friendship with a man that you carry romantic feelings for? Does'nt make sense to keep him around as a friend when deep down you want him beyond friendship...That's if you'll be honest with yourself about your true feelings opposed to the superficial feelings of friendship, you can't just flip off romantic feelings like that, not that I expect you to.

Well, I guess if I'm honest with myself, there are some lingering romantic feelings, maybe because of the way it ended, or just because we had some sort of "connection". However, I'm over wanting to be with him in that way because 1) I knew all along that he wasn't the right guy for me (there were a lot of red flags but I guess I just continued to see him because we did get along and have fun together) and 2) because I am now seeing someone that is really, really great and I'm much more compatible with him than the Virgo. I can't help but just analyze the Virgo though, I really want to know what he is thinking. I guess maybe I want to, for some reason, believe that I was/am special to him in some way that he decided to remain in touch. His reasons for not staying involved with me had, according to him, nothing to do with me. I believe that, he was/is not in a point in his life to be a bf to anyone.

click to expand

I think your hooked on this virguy, which in way virguy's at least the ones i know are like magnets, women are always drawn to them...and when you get hooked on them its not easy to let go... But my advice once again you want cappy so bad, you want a healty relationship with someone who seems to be great by how you talk about him, well wake up and smell the coffee...Hard to let go because vurguy sparks your interest but you need to...