Virgo Man - ego over who makes more money?

Considering the personality traits of a Virgo man, would he be the type of man who would have a hurt ego if the woman he was dating made more money than him?

No, she (me) isn't throwing it in his face. We talked about it and he was sensitive that the topic was even brought up but said he'd be ok with it but I'm sensing things that may mean he isn't.

It is not ego.

Men in general want to provide, it's how they show love.

We're the sign of service so a Virgo Man..will really need to be able to do that.

I asked my Virgo father when I was really young about men in general and I don't remember everything he said..

But he did say "If you want to see if he cares about you, see if he invests in you"

I immediately had a knee jerk reaction because I took it to mean "Just go for the highest bidder/be a golddigger/look only for your financial interest"

But then he followed up with "If he is willing to invest his money, there's a good chance he will invest his heart too".

He then went to explain providing and how this relates to men.

Yes

Sigh...I get the man/provider thing. I want that too. But I've busted my ass to get where I am in my career and I don't want to be penalized for that.

I'm on vacation with my son in Paris and Dubai and he hasn't asked once how my trip is going or even when I'm coming back. But when I left he sent me sad faces and asked me if I missed him.
I just want someone I can build a life with. I'd support him following his dreams. I don't want to bring it up but I don't want him sabotaging this either. Gah!

I don't understand your thoughts..

why do you feel penalized? why assume him not contacting you is because he has issues with you making more money?

who brought the topic up? it could be a self fulfilling prophecy by you and nothing to do with him.

when a loved one is on holiday..i barely contact them. because i know they are having fun there and i will hear all the stories when i get back. so i want them to enjoy the trip and not be glued to me with phone calls and texts.

It's several things. Not hearing from him is just my recent irritation. But i could be grasping at straws here too. He made a comment about not being able to take a week off from work like me.

He asked if we could FaceTime while I was gone but didn't answer when I facetimed him twice. We talked about downloading an app to keep in touch. He hasn't added me. I guess that part could be what you are saying. He just doesn't want to bother me.

I don't expect to talk to him much while I'm away. It's just little things that have been nagging me and my Aqua overanalytical mind is trying to decipher why. The money thing was just a guess. I know he's not where he wants to be and he made the comment the other day "I've been so stressed and have been wanting to talk to you about it". But when I asked why he hadn't he didn't give me an answer.

I will admit..the "unlike you" part of the "i can't take a week off" would make me consider spite.

I think he is just stressed out. If he is a good man, he'll want to provide for you and might think a better provider will catch your eye. But there are more ways to provide than just one.

I don't see an issue yet, might be stress building up from his job. Especially with that comment he made about wanting to talk to you.

That is a convo to be had live, in each other's presence. Sometimes we don't bring stuff up until we are sure we have formulated them the right way and know where we're going with the conversation.

I'd keep enjoying my holiday and when you get back, schedule some time for TLC. He will slowly relax in your presence. It's hard for us to unwind.

Posted by dontgetmewrong
Damnata- what did your dad mean by "invest"...is it time? A hot lunch?...a house? Car?..give money?...

Did he elaborate?

I think he meant money for dates (the gentleman way) and time.

CC, don't get me started on cancerian stinginess. Holy shit.

This is a Leo problem ... didn't know Virgos too!

Thanks guys. I needed that.

I'm not sure why it was brought up or talked about to begin with? What does it matter who makes more money? How was it brought up "I'm going to make more $ $ than you, does that bother you?".

If you brought it up that way maybe he now feels weird because it might have seemed like you wanted him to acknowledge it??

I kind of look at it this way, and maybe this for more of a "live together combined finances" situation, but still. If both partners work about the same # of hours each week then they work equally. They both contribute their time outside the home and are both compensated for it, what does it matter who makes more? I guess I just don't understand how this is an issue for any couple.

uote>Posted by kaqual75

No, she (me) isn't throwing it in his face.

We talked about it and he was sensitive that the topic was even brought up

In order for him to be sensitive that the topic was brought up means ... you brought it to his face.

So, you're a liar on jump street.

Then you say .....

Posted by kaqual75

I know he's not where he wants to be and he made the comment the other day "I've been so stressed and have been wanting to talk to you about it".

click to expand

... as if there's not much to it, considering this topic subject is where your mind is at. And your mind isn't on him being stressed ... it's on YOUR ego, in thinking about how he might feel smaller than you because you make more money.

Afterall, you're the one who brought the topic up to him, and now you are the one who has made a thread to talk about so you can continue to believe that he feels smaller than you.

You didn't bring up the second quote above until you were asked for more details ... so that means your focus is on how your ego feels threatened.

In my opinion, considering you are bringing up topics that you know are uncomfortable for him, is only happening because you want reactions out of him for your ego's pleasure ....

You're probably a piece of shit, and he'll hopefully soon recognize.

Oh P Angel, get a grip. What you are saying doesn't even make sense.

I asked a simple question in the getting to know you phase 2 months ago. I can ask whatever questions that I feel are needed. It doesn't mean I have an ego or that I was throwing it in his face. He got upset because he's a, sometimes overly, sensitive virgo. I didn't ask him how much money he made or what he was doing to make more. I asked to know if he'd be ok if his partner made more.
I am worried about him being stressed. The topic of my post wasn't about him being stressed. I've read up enough on virgos and stressing about their livelihoods that I know how to talk to him about that. So no need to ask that question. You make a lot of negative assumptions, geez lady.
And your other comment about not bringing up something until I was asked questions...duh. They asked so I provided more context. That doesn't mean it's about me or my ego.
I genuinely care for this man. I don't want to be fighting a losing battle if it's ingrained in a virgos makeup that they couldn't deal with that. The end.

I just have to laugh and Shake my head your last comment. I'm sending good juju your way, P Angel. I can take your blunt honesty but you can shove your needless unwarranted negativity.

Posted by kaqual75
Oh P Angel, get a grip. What you are saying doesn't even make sense.

I asked a simple question in the getting to know you phase 2 months ago. I can ask whatever questions that I feel are needed. It doesn't mean I have an ego or that I was throwing it in his face. He got upset because he's a, sometimes overly, sensitive virgo. I didn't ask him how much money he made or what he was doing to make more. I asked to know if he'd be ok if his partner made more.
I am worried about him being stressed. The topic of my post wasn't about him being stressed. I've read up enough on virgos and stressing about their livelihoods that I know how to talk to him about that. So no need to ask that question. You make a lot of negative assumptions, geez lady.
And your other comment about not bringing up something until I was asked questions...duh. They asked so I provided more context. That doesn't mean it's about me or my ego.
I genuinely care for this man. I don't want to be fighting a losing battle if it's ingrained in a virgos makeup that they couldn't deal with that. The end.

I just have to laugh and Shake my head your last comment. I'm sending good juju your way, P Angel. I can take your blunt honesty but you can shove your needless unwarranted negativity.

You go girl!!