Virgo men: how would you like to be approached in this situation...

Hello everybody :-) I have been enjoying reading along in here for a while, but this is my first post - so hi :-)
I have been seeing my Virgo for about 3 months. We met through my kids' school, where he is a teacher. I've had my eye on him for a couple of years, but I was involved with an Aries, so first when that ended, I wrote Virgo a mail and told him, that I had noticed him, would like to get to know him and wondered, if he would like to meet up and make music with me. Literally speaking - I'm a musician and I learned, that he played too 😉
I thaught that would be a good way to get to know each other.
And it is, but... Now I don't know what to do anymore. I have learned, that he doesn't respond well to pressure, so I try to let him set the pace, but I find it hard (with my Venus in aries 😉 ) to navigate through his rather extended getting-to-know-me fase.
Anyways - I find, that we are moving in the right direction. He has been visiting me at my place about every/every other friday since december and he stays longer everytime, till he began sleeping over - on the couch, mind you. His request, not mine - for the last 4 times. We talk about everything and he has gradually opened up to me about some very private matters, that he hasn't told anyone before and it seems like he really likes and trusts me.
We don't make music, when we are together, but just sit and talk, laugh, eat romantic dinners, drink coffee or wine and stare into each others eyes and smile, while he plays lovesongs for me, that he has found and I just must hear. He usually sings along, while he looks into my eyes and smiles and he has told me, that he is very uncomfortable singing lovesongs to anyone, to whom he is not devoted.
In between our "dates" we have been texting eachother frequently and more and more.
Until last week. He came for dinner friday, though he was ill and feverish and we had the most cozy and romantic evening and he even brought me a little present, he had found in a strange store, that had made him think of me.
We have never kissed, but this night we gave eachother a couple of long hugs, that were both more intense and intimate, than before and when he left, I was sure, that he must be in love with me.
But then the pull-back happened. I texted him the next night and he answered happiely and asked me a question. I answered back and then nothing. He was just MIA. Then monday I wrote him again to let him know, that I had found some nice things to show him and that I was looking forward to hearing about his weekend. Light and happy and pressurefree. But he still hasn't answered me. And I don't get it. And don't know if I should just let him be or ask him again, if there is anything wrong.
As a Virgo man - what would you be thinking or wanting me to do, if you were doing this thing?

Thank you for your patience with my rather long text here and pardon my english - I am a forreigner, so I might not have all my spellings and grammars down :-

the fact that he loves u hit him like a truck and scared the crap outta him. Give him time- he will return. And DON'T text him- you pressuring him will prolong this phase.

BTW - he has been single for about 8 years, with the exception of a shortterm relationship about two years ago and he does not like to talk about previous relationships at all. I am 41, he is 43 and we both have two kids and get along great with our exes.

Thank you very much QueenOfPentacles :-) I better stop my texting then! :-)

When he'll return drop a note here how it all went, k? Enjoyed reading your story- it was sweet 🙂

Posted by QueenOfPentacles
When he'll return drop a note here how it all went, k? Enjoyed reading your story- it was sweet 🙂

Thank you so much - I definitely will! :-)

So now it's been 6 days and still no news from my Virgo. I am really starting to feel like I did something wrong, but I haven't got a clue to what that might have been.

I would so appreciate some more input on what could be going on with him or whether or not I should just let him take his time and ignore the fact, that he suddenly doesn't write me back for that many days...

Thank you in advance :-)

Virgos are subservient.

He's been wooing you for months now waiting for you to take him.


You've been sitting there with your thumb up your ass .. because if you've really been reading here for a while, then you would have learned that Virgos don't lead in relationships.



You snooze, you loose .... he realized that you're all fantasy in your head, with no real action. so you won't work, he'll take a pass wait for a more confident person.



It's doubtful that you actually wanted the truth .... let's see if you are capable of hearing raw truth, or if you'll cry

If you want him, then the above tells you what to do to get him.


Again, let's see if you got that.

😄 Thank you P-Angel. I take it, that you think, I should let him know how I really feel about him then? To my understanding, Virgo guys often like to get to know each other well, before taking the next step. He certainly does, so that is why, I haven't told him yet :-)

I definitely haven't been sitting with my thumb in my ass - but maybe in my mouth, as I have been afraid to scare him away... I have invited him all the times, we have met and he has said yes every time, but since he hasn't wrote me back for a week now, I am confused to whether I should leave him alone till he returnes or I should ask him, if something's wrong. I don't want to come off pushy, but on the other hand I definitely would write him, if I wasn't this afraid of pushing him away. I mean, if he is in his man-cave or testing me to see, if I will freak out...

I'm sorry - I know, I must be sounding a little clueless... And actually I rather am right now. I have never been close to a Virgo before and I am really in love with him, so I would just like to hear how other Virgos or people who know Virgos see this situation :-)

Posted by MariaPisces

To my understanding, Virgo guys often like to get to know each other well, before taking the next step.

as I have been afraid to scare him away...

Plus you keep asking him, or wanting to ask if anything is wrong ....




What I said to you flew right over your head. I can lead you to the answer, but, I can't comprehend it for you.

You're also a follower, waiting on him to take and approve of you ... while he waits for you to take and approve of him ... so, you both sit in inertia, oblivious and all fuzzed over.

Being in love with the idea isn't relevant in a situation where the reality is: no relationship has developed yet

Just take a pass and move on to someone controlling, since you aren't willing to do it. A Scorpio, or Leo perhaps.

Luckily the beginning isn't all that makes a relationship good or bad :-) And no, a leader and a follower isn't either a criteria for a relationship. Not a healthy long term one at least - especially not if the initiator is the woman. I am sure you know that - unless you prefer your men to be very feminine of course :-)

Why are you so mad? If you give your advice for free and you know your stuff, why not try to spread love and help instead of talking down to people? :-)

Posted by MariaPisces
Luckily the beginning isn't all that makes a relationship good or bad :-) And no, a leader and a follower isn't either a criteria for a relationship. Not a healthy long term one at least - especially not if the initiator is the woman. I am sure you know that - unless you prefer your men to be very feminine of course :-)

Why are you so mad? If you give your advice for free and you know your stuff, why not try to spread love and help instead of talking down to people? :-)

ok well now that just a bit of.....makes no sense. The virgo has made his interest plain, as a sign and as a man. Step it up, and embrace the 2016. Be responsible for the development of your relationships.

I see a post like this, and I am reminded:

Posted by MariaPisces

And no, a leader and a follower isn't either a criteria for a relationship. Not a healthy long term one at least - especially not if the initiator is the woman.

You're clueless, obviously have no awareness since you are incapable of comprehending. You just pushed past it, to reiterate the same stance, instead of actually listening to the message that you asked for.


so, that means you don't want an answer ... you want an audience

If you say so :-) And I would actually like it, if woodland creatures gathered, when I sang... 😄

But thank you for The first of your two new answers :-) It was almost non-condescending and actually adressing my question :-)

wow, I would call him and make sure he was ok - it does seem odd - like he dropped off the face of the earth after that last text - maybe something happened ? and he's been tied up - a nice text or phone call regarding such might lead into discussion about some plans to get together again and then you can try to seriously put it out there LOL !

my son's father was a Virgo and initiated / lead the first excursions (ahem) - opposite of what the others said above - I think the person's other planets factor into everything - everyone is not the same even if they have the same Sun sign ...

good luck - it sounds like you like him!

Posted by tcta
wow, I would call him and make sure he was ok - it does seem odd - like he dropped off the face of the earth after that last text - maybe something happened ? and he's been tied up - a nice text or phone call regarding such might lead into discussion about some plans to get together again and then you can try to seriously put it out there LOL !

my son's father was a Virgo and initiated / lead the first excursions (ahem) - opposite of what the others said above - I think the person's other planets factor into everything - everyone is not the same even if they have the same Sun sign ...

good luck - it sounds like you like him!

Thank you very much tcta :-) Yes, I am very much in love with him :-) And I think you are right, that it is hard to pin down any sign, when you don't know all the planets. I find Virgos are one of the strangest signs to read or pin down - for me anyways :-)

Posted by MariaPisces

Posted by tcta
wow, I would call him and make sure he was ok - it does seem odd - like he dropped off the face of the earth after that last text - maybe something happened ? and he's been tied up - a nice text or phone call regarding such might lead into discussion about some plans to get together again and then you can try to seriously put it out there LOL !

my son's father was a Virgo and initiated / lead the first excursions (ahem) - opposite of what the others said above - I think the person's other planets factor into everything - everyone is not the same even if they have the same Sun sign ...

good luck - it sounds like you like him!

Thank you very much tcta :-) Yes, I am very much in love with him :-) And I think you are right, that it is hard to pin down any sign, when you don't know all the planets. I find Virgos are one of the strangest signs to read or pin down - for me anyways :-)

click to expand

And you're right! I probably better pull out the Big guns on our next date 😄

Posted by Gennie

Posted by MariaPisces
Luckily the beginning isn't all that makes a relationship good or bad :-) And no, a leader and a follower isn't either a criteria for a relationship. Not a healthy long term one at least - especially not if the initiator is the woman. I am sure you know that - unless you prefer your men to be very feminine of course :-)

Why are you so mad? If you give your advice for free and you know your stuff, why not try to spread love and help instead of talking down to people? :-)

ok well now that just a bit of.....makes no sense. The virgo has made his interest plain, as a sign and as a man. Step it up, and embrace the 2016. Be responsible for the development of your relationships.

I see a post like this, and I am reminded:
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/46/8c/12/468c129a9ddbc481607b8152e043ed35.jpg<div class="bqfade">click to expand

Thank you for your input Gennie :-) I would love to have woodland creatures gather, when I sang... 😉

you are so welcome - I understand what the others were saying but it just doesn't work that way for everyone - we are all so different ... I try not to let astrology govern - but I do just keep up with the reading and observing but the true test is time - when you spend time just dating someone you begin to really know that person and that is where you will discover his patterns ...

just ask him if everything is ok being that you hadn't heard from him for days and let him know you are there and would love to hang out if he wants when he's ready ... I don't think it's too soon with what you said - to tell him "I sort of miss you" "look forward to seeing you again" ... leave him a trail to follow up on ...

after all - what if the world ended today - you would want him to know how you felt wouldn't you? so tell him today - don't wait for tomorrow ... no matter what the cost - after all - you feel that way toward him regardless of how he feels towards you - I mean if you tell him how you feel and he doesn't feel that way then so be that - you still feel the way you do - you can't help it ... it is what it is ...

True tcta :-) I do plan on telling him, I just need to figure out how and when. And I get your point about the world ending tomorrow, but I have to count on that it doesn't 😉

p-angel knows what she is talking about regardless whether you like her delivery or not.

i have seen 2 types of virgo men. the ones with lots of leo/fire or leo/virgo cusps who would take initiatives like normal men. the other more textbook virgo men type does not lead in relationships. they are the female in a love relationship. i have many virgos around me. i have seen their women threatened and tricked them for months / years to CONVINCE them into marriage. i have seem they led women on for years without the intention to marry until the women finally got it and called them asperger lol

Posted by iCloud9
p-angel knows what she is talking about regardless whether you like her delivery or not.

i have seen 2 types of virgo men. the ones with lots of leo/fire or leo/virgo cusps who would take initiatives like normal men. the other more textbook virgo men type does not lead in relationships. they are the female in a love relationship. i have many virgos around me. i have seen their women threatened and tricked them for months / years to CONVINCE them into marriage. i have seem they led women on for years without the intention to marry until the women finally got it and called them asperger lol

Thank you for sharing your experiences and opinions, iCloud9 :-)

In regard to P-Angel and her... ways: I am sure, that SHE knows, what SHE is talking about, but if she isn't able to communicate her knowledge in a way, that makes sence or has little to do with the situation at hand and then calls you an imbecil, when you kindly try to get her to elaborate, isn't that usefull now, is it? 😉 It's actually kinda like Yoda, with a VERY bad attitude 😉

A saying of Shakespear's spring to mind: “The fool does think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” 😉 The more, that you know, that you don't know, the wiser you actually are.

Nevertheless, I am thankful for the things, I got from her and her opinion on the Virgo man in general, but to say, that she knows everything about me and my Virgo, just because she has read, what I wrote in a quick post and talks tough and categorically, seems to be a bit of a stretch from my perspective on the world - as such 😉

she is among the people who aren't looking for answers ... she's looking to be validated in her continued ignorance.

She wants to play damsel with a Virgo, lol ..... and since this is what she wants, no amount of logic, reasoning, nor experience is going to sway her out of her delusion.

Pisces people actually love surviving within a fantasy ... and her mind is clearly submerged in her delusion.



The Virgo is probably laughing at her, and she's too warped to recognize it ... she fully believes that she's attracting a Virgo to her.


lol

Posted by MariaPisces

little to do with the situation at hand

Of course, because the situation at hand according to your ignorant mind ...... is that you are waiting for a Virgo to come swoop down and take you.

You refuse to acknowledge anything other than what you want to happen.


That's what stupid people do ... you're not alone, this place is full of ignorant people who come here to get validated so that they can continue being fools.

Posted by P-Angel

Virgos are subservient

Posted by MariaPisces

try to get her to elaborate

click to expand

You're seriously this stupid? Ok, then, if you insist .....



www.google.com

once in google, type the letters subservient

oh wait, do you need me to elaborate on how to get to google?

You are a serious nut job woman 😄 If anyone wants an audience and are not out to either receive or give advice, it would be you.

You obvoiusly do not read, what I write - you just pick up a few words here and there and use them out of context.

I have Venus in Aries and no problem being the aggressor, so I have come on way to strong for him in the beginning and I learned, that he needed to be the one setting the pace. So what I was asking in the beginning was ideas on how one COULD approach a rather macho Virgo in this situation, so I didn't scare him off. People are more complex, than you obvoiusly think and I, being use to come on strong, need to learn to find a middleground, since I am in love with a Virgo.

You answered me, I thanked you and asked you a follow up question, but since then, you haven't done anything but talk trash and I can't see how that has got anything to do with me or my question here.

So thank you, but no thank you to more words from you, oh wise and almighty P-Angel. Please be a dear and find another place to spread your malice and hate, you generous peopleperson, you 😉

Posted by QueenOfPentacles
When he'll return drop a note here how it all went, k? Enjoyed reading your story- it was sweet 🙂

And he is back! 😄 He put a message on FB last night, that stated, that he had had to reset his phone, so I got to thinking, that he might not even have got my messages from last friday and that he might be upset, because he thaught I hadn't wrote him back and so I couldn't stand it any longer and wrote him a little "Are you ok? I had a bad dream about you.. :-)" and he answered at once, that he had been busy with his daughter's birthdayparty.
So nothing wrong :-) And I am going to ask him over next weekend and hopefully find a way to get the heat on in a not too aggressive way 😉

PAngel, let's be honest- you're a bitch and you know that. You're always nasty to everyone whenever you get a slightest chance. You read what people say and you understand it the way you want to understand it- not the way stuff actually is. And you get angry when people don't do whatever you say them to do. You have serious ego issues. If you didn't know that about yourself I just let you know so you would be aware. It doesn't look like Maria needs your opinion anyomre- you said a word, she thanked you for that and that's it. You should shut your mouth up and move from this thread. The end.

P.S. Maria, sincere advice- block her. She is seriously pathetic and nasty. Nothing more from her 🙂

Posted by Scorpiegurl
PAngel, let's be honest- you're a bitch and you know that. You're always nasty to everyone whenever you get a slightest chance. You read what people say and you understand it the way you want to understand it- not the way stuff actually is. And you get angry when people don't do whatever you say them to do. You have serious ego issues. If you didn't know that about yourself I just let you know so you would be aware. It doesn't look like Maria needs your opinion anyomre- you said a word, she thanked you for that and that's it. You should shut your mouth up and move from this thread. The end.

Thank you very much Scorpiegurl :-) I feel a little surprised at how sad, I have actually been feeling all day, just because of a stranger deciding that I am an idiot :-) So thank you for adding, that it isn't just me, who finds these comments somewhat offensive and over the top :-)

Posted by Scorpiegurl
P.S. Maria, sincere advice- block her. She is seriously pathetic and nasty. Nothing more from her 🙂

Thank you for the advice Scorpiegurl, I think I will do that :-)

Posted by MariaPisces

Posted by Scorpiegurl
PAngel, let's be honest- you're a bitch and you know that. You're always nasty to everyone whenever you get a slightest chance. You read what people say and you understand it the way you want to understand it- not the way stuff actually is. And you get angry when people don't do whatever you say them to do. You have serious ego issues. If you didn't know that about yourself I just let you know so you would be aware. It doesn't look like Maria needs your opinion anyomre- you said a word, she thanked you for that and that's it. You should shut your mouth up and move from this thread. The end.

Thank you very much Scorpiegurl :-) I feel a little surprised at how sad, I have actually been feeling all day, just because of a stranger deciding that I am an idiot :-) So thank you for adding, that it isn't just me, who finds these comments somewhat offensive and over the top :-)

click to expand

Haha no, it's not only you- the same opinion has basically everyone in this forum with few rare exceptions 😄

wow, I wonder what the P stands for before the "Angel" ... is that for Pissed Off - Angel ? Hard to think of an Angel being pissed off but I think we found one ! - well to the angel who may know a few things but seems to have an anger issue - please remember that "Respect is for those who deserve it; not for those who demand it"

and for MariaPisces - I am glad he's back and you are on track - how long was it without no contact and was that normal ? I can understand the no text back that night if his phone was boogered in some way but I thought it had been several days - just seems odd - just watching your back girl - trust is a big one for me and although I am not paranoid, I automatically keep track of everything subconsciously. I hear everything he says and catalog it and match it up to other conversations to make sure he's solid - I let him think he's the one with the "detective" mindset against me but see I'm Polly Purebred and I don't trip up because I'm not trippin to start.

Posted by tcta
wow, I wonder what the P stands for before the "Angel" ... is that for Pissed Off - Angel ? Hard to think of an Angel being pissed off but I think we found one ! - well to the angel who may know a few things but seems to have an anger issue - please remember that "Respect is for those who deserve it; not for those who demand it"

Hahaha 😄 Spot on!

Posted by tcta
and for MariaPisces - I am glad he's back and you are on track - how long was it without no contact and was that normal ? I can understand the no text back that night if his phone was boogered in some way but I thought it had been several days - just seems odd - just watching your back girl - trust is a big one for me and although I am not paranoid, I automatically keep track of everything subconsciously. I hear everything he says and catalog it and match it up to other conversations to make sure he's solid - I let him think he's the one with the "detective" mindset against me but see I'm Polly Purebred and I don't trip up because I'm not trippin to start.

It was 6 days and no, that wasn't quite normal for him. He once went 4 days, so I finally wrote him, that I thaught he was being very quiet - to the extend, that I was wondering, if I had made him mad.
He then answered quickly and with lots of smileys, that nothing was wrong, why I would think that and that he was just the very silent type.
Yeah... That he definitely is 😉

But I am really puzzled by him... Because he both comes off as in love with me, when we're together and shy and sweet and insecure, but at the same time he acts "rather butch" when I somehow steps over his ideas of what the man is supposed to do in a relationship... He is a strange mix of feminine and masculine ways to act.

But I know, that he has only been in relationships, where he had been friends with his lover for several months at least first and I feel, that he is testing me a lot to see how I will react to this and that.
And then he has been living alone for 8 years now, so he is also used to and somewhat guarding of his space to see if I can respect it, I think...

But I think I need to ask him about a couple of things soon. And make it clear to him, that A: I want him and B: That I would prefer to be asked or told, what he needs (space, affection, you name it..) instead of having to guess. It's interesting, but it's also pretty disturbing to my peace of mind 😉

Posted by CrosstownTraffic
@MariaPisces such a teflon tounge you have...interesting

so you make him guess by the way you talk to him, so he makes you guess what he wants and needs (his quietness and it's working on you really good).

when you talk to some people like your a psychiatrist, you will get the same back - mind fuckery.

My god, your right! Never thaught about my behaviour that way - that I was being just as anoyingly secretive as he is... Thank you! I am going to think long and hard about that :-)

Posted by CrosstownTraffic

Posted by CrosstownTraffic
@MariaPisces such a teflon tounge you have...interesting

so you make him guess by the way you talk to him, so he makes you guess what he wants and needs (his quietness and it's working on you really good).

when you talk to some people like your a psychiatrist, you will get the same back - mind fuckery.

So now...what's needed? Tell him what you want and you get that back.. 50/50!

What's also important is when you ask for constructive criticismic advice, no matter what you get back....don't get mad. He will see this and treat you the same.

click to expand

Thank you again - I shall remember that :-)

If you don't do anything..nothing will come out of this.

And by do I don't mean enticing and drawing him in...i mean DO.

P-angel gave you good advice.

I love it when a plan comes together ...

I hate to say this, but Virgo is more of a mirror and follower, rarely does a Virgo go full steam ahead unless there is a plan and diagram to follow.

The best thing you can do is be open and honest with your feelings