Virgo & Scorpio advice..

Back again---Geez, Here I thought I was understanding things. I'm virgo and he's scorpio--we've been together 3 years--we live together. The Scorpios well-known sexuality/sensuality--not sure what's happened to my guy. I know that I never initiate sex and this is a HUGE sore spot for him..But Good God--now it's like we're seeing who's going to hold out the longest. To me, a man who waits 2-3 weeks--something isn't right. He tells me he loves me, he is affectionate--holds hands and hugs me when I get in from work etc..BUT, he's really trying to prove a point here and I'm getting fed up..and wondering? Know what I mean?--things were never like this before and now it's been like this for some time. Am I being irrational?

I think maybe somebody better do SOMETHING before the mental barriers damage the physical closeness. That's a game nobody can win. Just grab him where it counts and kiss him deeply next time you get a home from work hug. Also, maybe there is something else bothering him (or someone).

Yes, definite problem for Virgo's. So sexually passive, you just want to strangle them sometimes. Yes, you're being irrational. The point he's trying to prove is that Virgo's aren't passionate about their lovers. So quite being so submissive. There is nothing erotic in any shape or form about being a wet blanket in the bedroom.

Rip his clothes off and throw him down.

BOTH Virgo's have this problem. It's all about action, getting the person in bed, so the goal can be obtained. However, that's not arousing to most people. It's the antipcation in anything we do that's so stimulating, not, the act itself, necessarily. This man is a Scorpio, he therefore, finds pleasure in the romance part. For Virgo's, this isn't the aim, they just want to be in bed, being done. That's not going to be adequate for most people. It gives the impression that the person lacks the desire to passionately take the other.

Lisbon, it's because, since you are Virgo, you are extremely submissive. Like you said, you won't initate. That is the problem and now he's starting to think that it's because you don't feel you just want to die, you'll stop breathing without him. He can't see this because you just lay in wait. It's only a matter of time before he walks away. Scorpio's need to have undying love and adoration, without passionate embraces, he will diminish and eventually look elsewhere. That's just the way it is.

You need someone who wants to dominate, be in control - that person won't care because they will want you to be submissive and subserviant to their sexual demands. They will want you to wait until they say so.

See, here is what I mean: Branh said, "I'm very quick to try to get a woman in the bed."

Every other sign is quick to try and get the other person to desire them non-sexually FIRST. People will show off, they'll try conversation, common interest, all kinds of other things to get a person to notice them, to want to be with them and need them for all the different aspects in life. A Virgo is just quick to try and get them in bed. That's not satisfactory in a relationship for it shows the other person that they aren't cherished.

If you just lay there for him, then you'll just lay there for anybody, in his mind. He wants you to believe, because you feel, that you will die without being in his embrace. He's Scorpio, that's the way it works with water people, luv.

Thanks all. Yes, I am afraid to put myself out there--even after three years. When asked, my sorpio man says "the sex is great--it's getting to the sex that makes me feel like crap--as if you don't want me"
This is not true and I tell him so and he responds "show me so"... I know this sounds silly -- but with him, it makes me nervous..in no other aspect of my life do I feel this way. I've traveled all over alone, I've bought a home by myself, I am up front and honest--except here. I know him well enough to know that if this doesn't change--we won't remain together. I'm afraid to look like an ass and have him reject me..his not inititating the way he used to already makes me feel this way.
Thanks again--Lisbon

See, Lisbon, your response described what I was saying. You said, "it's getting to the sex that makes me feel like crap--as if you don't want me"
This is not true and I tell him so and he responds "show me so"...

He's already gone, luv. Next time you find a lover, be selective, for most people can't have a long lasting relationship with a Virgo - for this very reason. Look for a male Aries, they are all about action and will take charge. They will want you just the way you are, so long as you let them be in wickedly kinky, which you will, you're Virgo. Kinky is fine, so long as you're not dominate. A male Aries will set you free sexually.

Good Luck

She can't US. She's a Virgo. It's likely that this will haunt her for the rest of her life. They just don't possess the ability to "Let Go".

I feel you though, US. I'm Pisces, I know all about opening up and just letting it all hang out, without having to anaylze.

Fantasy will set us all free. Rock on.

Lisbon said, "I am afraid to put myself out there--even after three years"

"Even after three years."

Believe what you want US, if it turns you on.

I'm a female virgo, and I too have an issue with initiating things. Even though deep down inside I would like to be more passionate, and expressive, there is something inside that stifles those feelings. I can totally relate to Lisbon, and I empathize with her. I know the fear of looking foolish, fear of rejection, feeling inadequate....it's debilitating. And in dealing with a Scorpio (I've been there also) you are definately put to the test. While I want to believe that one day I will be able to overcome this huge insecurity, I have to look at how long I've had it for, it's been a while. So the chances of it changing are almost impossible. I'm at a point right now where I would like to be accepted as I am, with some minor compromises on both parts. But, Lisbon, as you have been in this relationship for 3 years now I think you should definitely try and make the effort to show you're Scorpio that he is desirable, I know you find him desirable, and have voiced it to him, but with a Scorpio I've found that words mean very little, they need to feel where you are coming from. At the end of the day, that is what they do, they feel, and Virgos think. They think too damn much if you asked me. I'm in the process of trying to Let Go and Let Love In, it's hard, but I think it's something you should try Lisbon. What have you got to lose at this point...Just jump him...but...keep in mind this can't be a one time deal...this is how you have to be from here on out...are you up for it? Decisions need to be made. And keep this in mind, just because you love someone, doesn't mean you are supposed to be with them. I hope I was helpful...

Unattainable

The beautiful part, though it may be impossible for the Scorp to see it, is that a Virgo's love comes in a different way. One of caring, sharing and trustworthiness.

Unattainable, I know what you mean about feeling foolish or inadequate. My V-Man struggles with that as well. He says that there is always this other voice, whispering in his other ear, that tells him to pull back and wait to let things sort themselves out through examination and reason.

P-Angel has a point...3 years is a long time. This is who Lisbon is. This is her true nature, it's not going to change, unless she chooses to change it...and in an ideal world I'd say it could be done, but after 3 years, if she hasn't changed...she probably won't. She should be comfortable by now, she shouldn't feel uncomfortable in any way shape or form.

Yes P-Angel that's it exactly...I posted that on another post also...It's crazy. You can be sitting right beside the one you love and care about dearly, and feel crippled. And the thing is in your mind you've already assessed that the other thinks you don't love them, when in fact you love them very dearly. I love who I am, but wish I didn't have to be this way. I think it's great that your V-guy talks to you about it, cause I think that's a step in the right direction to fixing, or start fixing the problem. I always say, time is something a Virgo needs, unfortunately to some, the time needed is unreasonable. A Virgo needs to trust that they won't be judged, looked at foolishly, or anything like that, we are really sensitive, sometimes I think just as sensitive as Scorpios, but we bounce back faster.

Beguiling, all of those things sound really wonderful...the funny thing is at one point, I had written a lot of "steamy" letters to my Scorp, but never sent them. I couldn't bring myself to hand them over. I really feel like in the long run, a love relationship with a Scorpio and Virgo, is doomed to fail unless both are highly evolved and really understand, love, and accept one another for who they truly are. The relationship will still have to be constantly nurtured, but both will know what they can expect from the other. I don't like being negative, but need to be real about things, I know who I am, and who I am not. And I've learned that me as a Virgo, is not what a Scorpio needs....unless he's on the Sag cusp...lol, that has possibilities

Unattainable, his steps do not bring him closer to overcoming. He's lived 5 decades and is still haunted by this. He can, however, talk about it. But, he only talks about it because I initiate the topic. So, sadly, even communication is limited if someone else doesn't approach it. I think it's marvelous that Lisbon approached the topic. That is extremely difficult for her nature. With my Virgo, he can sit back and be passive sexually. I have no problems being in charge. The difference with me is that I realize this is a handicap and don't take it personally. Just because he doesn't bring flowers, and all the other stuff mentioned above, isn't because he doesn't love me. Most people take it personally and get thier feelings hurt because we all want to be cherished. I just understand and realize that his love comes in a different way.

We've been together forever, he's middle-aged and still, this problem exists.

Don't worry Lisbon, like I said, Scorpio won't work for Virgo in the long haul. Go with Aries, he's the one who will NOT be afraid. And that is what it is. It's an insecurity and that makes you afraid. The Aries fears nothing when it comes to their sexuality. You never have to initiate, he'll do it every time.

I don't think Aries and Virgo is a match, lol. Not a good one at least. It may be good in the bedroom, but outside of that...no.

Fyi, I got your point the first time jackdoniel. I was speaking on behalf of myself, I believe I'm entitled to do that. But I suppose being who you are, you needed to say that.

lisbon : do u act crazy ever .... that will be the best time to get ur scorp
and leave the thinking part for next day ...

unattainable : u sound scarily true. but i believe men can do better whether they are a
sag. cusp or not, if u know wht i mean.

Thanks all..Yes, I'm a bit unconventional for a V-girl.....Got on a plane to Europe and traveled around and decided to stay a couple of years. I sing badly--in public alot. I parasail and white water raft. I'm pretty funny, more outgoing than my Scorpio partner and very intuitive and love Six Feet Under (Scorpio man and I love this show)..I guess I'm not all that crazy but I wouldn't say I'm June Cleaver either. Scorp. man is much more the dark side than I am. I guess that doesn't surprise you all...LOL

I agree with 100 percent with arieslovesvirgo.....all is not lost....but you got to get movin' now Lisbon....3 years and you've both probably gotten into a routine, a rut/cycle/circle - so now you've got to break that circle and make a new square:-) so to speak!!! So why not you get tipsy, very tipsy....trot back to your apartment (nice lingerie of course)..when Mr. Scorp opens the door, you give him such an unsuspected and surprising hug and kiss that he will collapse into a puddle!!!:-)....be Miss Dominant....push him onto the bed...straddle him....demand he get those clothes off QUICKLY!!!!!tell him you can't wait...you are so hot and horny.....become a great actress "from the waist down"!!!:-) Keep looking into his eyes and make sure he never loses contact with your eyes (coz we all know that virgo guys and gals have champagne eyes:-)!!.....demand it....."look into my beautiful eyes" - you demand....become the goddess of yours and his dreams for that one nite......and once you've been the sex goddess for one nite you will find you can be that goddess every nite, without any drink.......what you got to lose......nothing except your modesty and inhibition!!!!!

Good luck my pal

alana x

Message posted by: unattainable on 6/5/2006 4:27:31 PM ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.117

"I don't think Aries and Virgo is a match, lol. Not a good one at least. It may be good in the bedroom, but outside of that...no."

Aries the Fire Goddess here - I must strongly disagree with your viewpoint, unattainable regarding the Aries/Virgo match. As with anyone there will be many factors that will make or break ANY relationship. Age, knowledge, forgiveness, communication, openess to each other, self confidence...and the list continues.

Fact - Aries and Virgos are different, Men and Women are different, cats and dogs are different. Cool I say and that is exactly what I find enchanting about Mr. Virgo - his uniqueness to be who he is. He has an incredible sense of humour, loves going on adventures with me and he is constantly surprising me with cards, flowers and dinners.
Our communication is very open. Sexually, he is a Tiger (Virgo Sun with Scorp Moon) could this be why? He has mentioned that I seem to bring out the best in him. Whatever works I say! All I know is... he is fun to be with and I enjoy his company for however long that maybe.

Anything is possible if you want it bad enough 😉